I see you, Balakey

I can’t say that I’m particularly a fan of pitcher Blake Snell; I tend to not care for baseball players that act like out-of-touch man-babies when it comes to how much they’re paid for the privilege of playing professional baseball, and Snell is amongst the worst. 

He once suggested that players should’ve been paid their full salaries during the COVID season, and he’s one of those guys that it’s pretty clear that his full career objective is accumulating as much money as possible, which inherently there’s nothing wrong with, but it’s also the way that he’s trying to accomplish it with an inequitable amount of effort exerted to earn it that rubs me the wrong way.

This past off-season was a delight to see him flounder away during free agency, and basically becoming the cautionary poster boy for talented free agent to get absolutely pwned by the process.  He was looking for comparable money that the Dodgers had paid Japanese import Yoshinobu Yamamoto (12-year, $365M), and along the way had turned down an offer from the Yankees that was half that, thinking if he held out, he could get better, if not comparable.

He was wrong.  Delightfully.

Ultimately, he signed with the Giants on a two-year, $62M deal which is still an egregious annual value to a human being to throw a baseball over and over again, and seeing as how it had an opt-out clause in between, it was evident that Snell’s goal was going to be to pitch his ass off, opt-out, and try again for a Yamamoto deal, while also having the security cushion of a fat $31M second year with the Giants if things fell through.

The 2024 season couldn’t have started off any worse for someone playing the game Snell was trying to play; he would go 0-3, never getting out of the fifth inning, and have an ERA of 11.57.  His peripherals were shit, he was throwing too many pitches, walking too many guys, and downright sucked.  It was clear that he basically did no work or working out during the offseason, and didn’t prepare at all during the spring since he was technically unemployed almost until the start of the season, and it was showing on the field.

He was put on the DL for sucking, AKA bullshit injury to justify poor performance, and came back at the end of May, where he would proceed to string together three more shitty starts, where he still couldn’t get out of the fifth inning, and was pitching terribly, but was masked by the fact that the Giants still won two of those games in spite of him.

I relished in Snell’s poor performance, and despite my general disdain for Bay Area sports fans, even I didn’t think they deserved the turd that the Blake Snell contract was turning into.  Without question, he was going to opt-in to year two of his deal, and hamstring the Giants for another $31M that could’ve been utilized in so many better ways.

Once again he went on the DL for sucking, and he was back on July 9th and this is where the story really begins.  Snell would pitch five innings, giving up just a single hit and no runs, and the Giants would win.  The Giants would win two of his next three starts, with Snell pitching like the two-time Cy Young winner he was.

On August 2nd, Snell would get the first win of his season, after pitching a fucking no-hitter against the Cincinnati Reds, and he would follow that with another quality start and another win.

The overall picture of Blake Snell’s current 2024 isn’t notable – 2-3 W-L in 12 starts, a 4.31 ERA, with the Giants going 7-5.  But since July, he’s gone 2-0 in six starts, has an ERA of 1.15 and the team has gone 5-1.

It’s very apparent that he’s finally woken up, and that he’s beginning to pitch his ass off so that he can opt-out at the end of the season and make another try for a long-term Yamamoto-money deal.

Here’s the thing though, as many words as I’ve spoken to be critical about Blake Snell, I actually have never bothered to really take a deep dive into the numbers that paint the picture of Blake Snell; until now.  And the most interesting thing I’m discovering about ol’ Balakey is that save for the no-hitter, the season narrative described above is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary for him.

I’ve read numerous times about how Snell is “a slow starter” but figured it was typical media defending of the guy.  But looking at his career numbers and splits, slow starter doesn’t do the man justice.

I’m now convinced that Blake Snell is probably the smartest baseball player there is, at the way he has absolutely gamed the game of baseball in order to make as much money as he can, with the least amount of effort possible.  I mean, the guy streams video games in his downtime, gaming is nothing outside of his realm of interests, and it’s apparent that he’s brought that mentality into his career strategy.

Looking over his game logs over the last few seasons, which were coincidentally the most critical years in terms of showcasing himself in preparation for free agency, his Aprils have as many L’s as the 2024 Chicago White Sox, and he looks like shit; can’t get more than five innings, giving up lots of runs, mundane strikeout numbers.

But then July hits each year, Snell’s fairy godmother materializes out of nowhere and turns him into fucking Nolan Ryan.  He starts piling up strikeouts, the inning numbers start turning from 5.0 to 7.0, and the team starts piling up W’s like they’re the 1996 Chicago Bulls.

This isn’t hyperbole, there really is that drastic of a split between the first halves and second halves of his seasons, career-wide:

1st Halves: 28-39 W-L, 3.98 ERA, 1.339 WHIP, 10.9 K/9
2nd Halves: 41-17 W-L, 2.41 ERA, 1.097 WHIP, 11.4 K/9

Now I know all these numbers don’t mean a thing to anyone who doesn’t follow baseball, but what it really says is that Blake Snell is trash in the first half of most seasons, and turns into a fucking demi-god in the second half.  He walks fewer guys, strikes out more guys, and the team just flat out wins.

And the thing is, I don’t think this is coincidental, I don’t think this is fluky, I think it’s entirely by design and mostly deliberate by Blake Snell.  It’s no secret in the world of professional sports that athletes tend to metaphorically hit the NOS during their walk-years, and there’s mountains of evidence that exist these days to justify such a notion.  It’s also no secret that professional sport is influenced tremendously by recency bias, where the most recent version of an athlete is the one to consider when it comes time to negotiate dolla-dollas.

I may not be a fan of Blake Snell’s perceived-by-me money-grubbing ways, but I see you, Balakey.  I kind of respect the cerebral approach to optimizing his earning capabilities.  I’m not going to poo-poo on a guy’s effort to make as much money as he can, but at the same time, I’m not going to also not think that it does seem crappy to the teams, the fans of those teams, and those who root for him, to often be knowing that unless it’s July or later, he’s probably holding something back and not trying his hardest, because as he’s demonstrated for us all over the last few years, those April-May-June starts definitely don’t mean as much as the months July and on.

Good riddance, Pearl

TIL: the Atlanta Braves will be moving their Double-A minor league affiliate from Pearl, Mississippi to Columbus, Georgia.  They will also be ditching the Braves moniker and will hopefully be something chintzy and marketable

Not that I pay attention to every iota of Braves coverage as I once did at a point in my life, but as a fan of minor league baseball, and for lack of a better term, a fan of the Atlanta Braves, news like this piques my interest, even if this were reported way the fuck back in January of this year.

I mean, I knew that the Braves had relinquished control over all of their minor league squads back in 2021 like selling their debts, and I didn’t hate the news at all quite the contrary, because I felt that it opened the door for Braves affiliates to spread their wings and try to be something more in the spirit of minor league baseball, instead of the boring, stuffy and sterile branding of “The Braves.”

Gwinnett (AAA) had already switched over to becoming the Strippers Stripers, and Rome (A+) as of this years ditched being the Braves and became The Emperors, as in Roman emperor, and better yet, adopted emperor penguins to be their team’s mascot.  Not that I’ve been paying any attention, but for whatever reason, the Mississippi Braves had remained as such over the last two-plus seasons, and despite their freedom to do so, they didn’t appear to be in any rush to make any changes to the organization.

Until this season apparently, as it was announced that the club will be moving out of Pearl, Mississippi and moving to Columbus, Georgia, as well as ditching the Braves moniker and will be adopting a new name for the start of the 2025 minor league season.

At first blush, my thought was, oh great here we go again with a brand new fucking ballpark to build, but it turns out that there’s apparently a historic ballpark in Columbus, Golden Park, that will actually be renovated and used to house the future Columbus Braves affiliate, instead of building something from scratch.  Granted, a renovation isn’t cheap either, and I’m sure it will probably be something of a $65M tax burden for the people of Columbus to absorb, but that sure beats the $126M it took to build the Braves’ Spring Training facility from scratch in Sarasota.

Regardless of the financial burden of accommodations, this is actually a change that I don’t immediately just want to shit on upon hearing about it.  Having been to Pearl, Mississippi, solely to watch a M-Braves game, I have to say that getting the fuck out of that shithole in the middle of goddamn nowhere is nothing but good news for the Braves and frankly, all of Minor League Baseball in that nobody again will ever have to step foot in Pearl/Jackson, Mississippi after the 2024 season.

It’s the only place I’ve ever been to where I genuinely felt like I was whisked back in time at the casual ignorant racism that got in just a singular afternoon in town, from the moment I left the airport, to getting to the ballpark, and while simply getting food.  The cabbie who picked me up from the airport thought that I had to have been an actual player since I was headed to the ballpark, and upon arriving at the ballpark, I caught some kids staring at me and thinking I was Hideki Matsui.

It’s clear that Asian people aren’t a common occurrence in this chunk of the country, but god damn.  During the game, I was puckish so I went up to a concession stand where there were unsurprisingly chicken tenders and fries, and when I handed over my debit card to pay, the lady at the register examined my card and put down her bifocals, and then said to me, “oh that’s an easy one.”

Obviously having no fucking clue to what she was talking about, I asked her what, and she responded that it was my name, that it was one of those names that wasn’t too hard to pronounce.  Okay then

So needless to say, it seems like a monumental win for any person or any business or in this case, any team, to get the fuck out of Pearl, Mississippi, and head closer to somewhere that’s closer to their parent organization.  Columbus isn’t a tremendous step up from Pearl as far as not feeling like you’re in the middle of nowhere, but at least it’s a military town where people have had some etiquette and discipline beaten into them, and it’s only like a 2-3 hour drive to the Metro Atlanta area if anyone wants to feel some actual civilization.

I’m excited to eventually find out what the team will lean towards as far as a new team name, branding and identity will be.  I don’t know much about Columbus other than it being a military town, so I can’t take any snarky takes or come up with any sarcastic names to anoint them as, but hopefully the yokels out there will have the wherewithal to steer clear of the low-hanging fruit of Christopher, whom we all with brains have heard wasn’t exactly the best guy in history.

But hey, there’s always the Columbus Barves, wouldn’t that be some shit, to take the popularized typo-meme-unofficial sarcasm name for whenever the team fucks up, and make it official?  A guy can dream.

Predictable, to those with knowledge

Twas the night of the trade deadline, and the Braves were in the middle of the pack.  The Phillies have the division, and Atlanta’s grip on Wild Card #1 has been slippery as of late.  Max Fried is on the DL, joining Ozzie Albies and Michael Harris II, while Ronald Acuña, Jr. and Spencer Strider are done for the year.  Reynaldo Lopez has tightness in his forearm. 

Those not injured, are not performing, save for Marcell Ozuna and a resurgent Jarred Kelenic, but Matt Olson, Austin Riley, Adam Duvall and Orlando Arcia definitely are about as reliable as a Dodge Caliber this season.  Aside from Chris Sale, the pitching staff is in shambles due to the loss of Strider and Fried, as Father Time has clearly caught up to Charlie Morton, and the revolving door of Bryce Elder, Spencer Schwellenbach and whomever was scheduled to pitch in Double-A or Triple-A has been less than effective.

Weeks leading up to the trade deadline, there was all sorts of buzz about what the Atlanta Braves should do, to patch their weaknesses, reinforce their offense and build for the playoffs that they are no guarantee to even make.  Braves fans in Facebook communities, blogs and websites all throwing out ideas, mostly putrid, but occasional logical ones, about the things the teams should do in order to accomplish all of the above mentioned.

And whenever this time of the baseball season comes up, there are always these types of fans:

  • Trade everything for [Mike Trout] and [Shohei Ohtani] – fans who don’t really know much about baseball economics and think that in real sport, you can make trades like an EA game and trade Derek Harper for Penny Hardaway straight up
  • Trade absolutely nothing at all because there’s no chance the return on investment will be worth the cost of assets being given up – internet bean-counters who know way too much about baseball economics and have this intrinsic belief that absolutely every baseball transaction possible much be “a win,” that every trade partner must “lose” the trade, and if such conditions don’t seem likely, don’t make it, regardless of how many moving parts there are and the unpredictability of player performance
  • And then there are people like me, crabby old fucks who have been following sports for a very long time, have recognized patterns and tendencies for the teams they follow, are mostly cynical and nihilistic about the likely realities about to befall their preferred teams, and the degrees and willingness to opine their opinions may vary

I used to not engage with rando-communities, but probably a combination of boredom, and that The Algorithm is spoon-feeding me content that pops enough synapses in my brain to drop random comments on various accounts, most of them being Braves communities where I occasionally wish to voice my displeasure with AJ Minter, Bryce Elder, and how the team would be best suited to sign the still-available Trevor Bauer, if he didn’t have this freakishly obviously collusion to blacklist him from the entire league over his head.

I don’t pay much concern over the reactions my words get, and I definitely don’t interact with other users beyond a laughing emoji at the response that are actually decent, but it’s really nothing different from any online community anywhere on the internet: people making wild trade scenarios, trade everything fans bickering with trade nothing fans, and so forth.

More recently, I decided to chime in to a few Braves communities, and I opined that the Braves aren’t doing to make any moves at all beyond a fourth outfielder-type and a relief pitcher; I figured the remark were just enough snarky without me having to blather on about how The Braves Way™ is that of crippling risk-aversion and hand-cuffing cheapness, which it totally is by the way.

And when the trade deadline lapsed, and the evening crossed midnight, where transactions that begun before the deadline needed to be finalized by, and all the smoke of the day’s activities had cleared up, the Atlanta Braves had made only one transaction-trading injured relief pitcher Tyler Matzek and minor league infielder Sabin Ceballos for:

Jorge Soler, outfielder
Luke Jackson, relief pitcher

At this point, all I could really do is shrug like Michael Jordan in the 1992 NBA Finals, after he drowned the Portland Trailblazers in a barrage of three-pointers as if to say, that was easy.  I’ve been following the Braves for a pretty long time now, and I’ve seen this song and dance before.  Save for a few exceptions throughout the years, the majority of the years, the Braves always seem convinced that the only things they ever need at the trade deadline is another outfielder and another relief pitcher, and that all other needs can be filled internally (cheaply) – That’s The Braves Way™!

In this season’s case, they’re not wrong that they needed some help on both accounts, but the fact of the matter is that the starting rotation has two gaping holes in it, and the team has been incapable of scoring runs the vast majority of the season. 

All around the league were decent talents from teams who were out of playoff contention and thrown in the towel, trying to improve their futures at the price of said decent talents available for trade.  And as the days ticked down to the trade deadline, they would come off the board, one by one, with the Phillies picking up Carlos Estevez from the Angels, the Yankees getting Jazz Chisholm, Jr. from the Marlins, the Dodgers getting Jack Flaherty from the Tigers, to name a few examples of front-running contenders actively trying to get even better for the stretch run.

And once again, the Braves sit on their hands all trade season long, and do nothing but pick up a fourth outfielder and a relief pitcher.  I’ve seen this rerun, many, many times in my life now.

For those keeping score, in spite of all the Braves’ many needs, the only outside acquisitions they’ve really made this season, was picking up Soler and Jackson, as well as a few weeks ago, picking up Eddie Rosario from the Washington Nationals’ literal trash after they had designated him for assignment.  Obviously, all of these guys were notable contributors to the 2021 World Series winnings squad, and it’s evident that the Braves’ front office is trying to challenge the intelligence of fans and supporters of the team by bringing back these nostalgia acts, as if they’re miraculously going to turn the team’s fortune around, three years later, older and used.

It goes without saying that the Braves have thrown in the towel on the year themselves, by their sheer lack of willingness to invest and improve.  Of course they will never admit it, but it seems pretty evident that they’re phoning in the roster on account of all the injuries that have decimated the roster, and probably thinking, we’ll just try again next season;  regardless of the fact that Max Fried is probably gone, as probably is Marcell Ozuna who is playing his ass off in a walk year, two of the most competent players on the current roster.

They’ll assume Chris Sale will reward their investment into his bounceback, Spencer Strider will recover to 110%.  That this season was not a fluke for Reynaldo Lopez, and that between Elder, Schwellenbach and Hurston Waldrep,* they can go back to the glory days of Maddux, Glavine and Smoltz.

*could these names get any whiter?

They’ll also assume Acuña and Harris will recover fully, Albies will get back to his All-Star form and Olson and Riley will bounce back.  Arcia might be the only guy on the hot seat, but I’m under the impression that Braves Corporate is already envisioning a fresh start in 2025 with all of their current assets in place, and that 2024 is already a lost cause, and any success to come from it would be considered a bonus.

At this point, it’s actually a bad thing for the Braves front office if the team does well enough to have a little playoff run, and then get bounced in the NLDS again.  Because then there will be all sorts of hindsight fire, criticism and accusations that the organization didn’t do enough to improve the team to where they might have pushed across the finish line for more success, instead of sputtering to another early playoff exit.

But if and when it happens, it’s not like it’s something that most older Braves fans haven’t seen before.  Such is, the curse of having knowledge sometimes.

I hope Southwest is ready to be mediocre

WaPo: Southwest Airlines eliminating open seating starting in 2025

In the grand spectrum of things, Southwest Airlines getting rid of open seating doesn’t really impact my life that much.  I don’t fly enough anymore to really be affected by this, because my life is too hectic at this juncture in my life and when it’s time for a family trip, driving is more economical and logical albeit more time consuming, but it’s better than dropping $2,100 on a trip to like Orlando.

But Southwest was always a company that I had some admiration for, because their general people-first modus operandi was always refreshing in the vast ocean of big businesses that existed solely to part dollars from the hands of the people and put them into the pockets of soulless shitheads known as investors and other finance-ey words used to describe old white people. 

And it’s not like they were starving by any stretch of the imagination, even during some of the most brutal recessions and stretches of financial wastelands, SWA was one of the few airlines that continually turned profits, mostly on account of their generally friendly business practices.

Reasonable fares, convenient routes, free checked bags, and free change policies; there was a lot to like about SWA, but if there was ever one thing that conversely blew the minds off of the dull-watted, and to some probably perceived as a deterrent and turn-off, was the open-seating policy that probably defeated more people than the internet itself.

Personally, it was, and has never been an issue for me, because I have a brain.  It’s not that hard to queue up in lines in little chunks of five behind clearly marked totems, and it takes either a little bit of upfront discipline or the willingness to pay a little extra to get Group A boarding, and seeing as how the vast majority of my travels on SWA have usually been by myself, I’ve almost always been able to grab an errant single aisle or window seat closer to the front of the aircraft, meaning I can get the fuck off sooner rather than later being wedged into the back of the aircraft and needing an extra 20 minutes just to deplane.

But if I had to guess, in spite of being their policy for over the last 50 years, SWA has simply had enough of the bullshit of dealing with passengers who just haven’t gotten it after a half century, passengers who conduct themselves like entitled spoiled assholes on the aircraft, and having to deal with passengers who they have to reimburse or give free second seats to because they’re the sizes of Pontiac Azteks.

Like the vast majority of things in the world that end up being declared ruined, there’s nobody really to blame, except people.

Sure, at the root of it, I want to accuse some managerial change at the higher rungs of the ladders at SWA, where some bean counters have identified a vast field of earning opportunities to be had by ditching open seating, and that’s probably not inaccurate, but the company had resisted many opportunities to switch in previous decades, but in this day and age, the bullshit of passengers has probably grown too much, their workforce has grown flakier and full of impatient younger heads, and enough is enough and this is where we’re headed.

The reality is that SWA has probably lost out on millions over the last few decades, by trying to be The People’s™ airline, with their friendly policies and acceptance and inclusion, and thanks to mounting passenger bullshit, they’ve probably just hit a philosophical wall of why they should be handicapping their earning capabilities being nice to a ton of assholes, when absolutely nobody else is doing it?

When the day is over, as I said, it doesn’t impact me a whole hell of a lot, but I would be curious to see what lies in the future for Southwest.  I don’t imagine the loss of open-seating is really going to impact the airline as much as many outlets on the internet make it sound like it’s going to, but for those people who were married to the concept, and are going to revolt, or at least no longer prioritize them because they’re basically transforming into an “ordinary” airline on the level of United or American or JetBlue, SWA is just going to likely blend into the pack, except, barring a change, more handicapped by virtue of not partnering up with travel aggregators like Google, Kayak, Travelocity and Expedia.

Their free baggage and lack of change fees might be enough to retain some customers, and I’m really curious to know what’s going to become of the large passenger policy once seats become assigned, and big people won’t be able to just lumber to the gate and assume an empty seat will be available next to theirs, but in the game of airline thrones, the most important thing is solely going to hinge on if as long as SWA can remain competitive with fares.

Regardless, I still lament over the days before SWA engulfed AirTran.  Not a travel day goes by where I don’t miss AirTran and the time where I could get sub-$200 RT fares to visit my family and eastern-based friends, and then cash in my credits to trips to Las Vegas or Seattle.  After the merger, all those routes have nearly doubled in cost, and despite my general positive opinion of their brand, I was not happy about it.

Things change, this is where we’re headed, and I hope SWA is ready to slide into the middle of the pack.  But as long as they don’t have to see any further videos and articles about their passengers being douchebag pricks on the internet, they probably are happy to take that deal in the long game.

I like to imagine phone calls between Kazuchika Okada and Shinsuke Nakamura

A few days ago, the wrestling internet made a classic big deal over the breaking revelation that the WWE’s Shinsuke Nakamura picked up NJPW-but working programs for-AEW Minoru Suzuki from the airport and hung out together.  OMG the scandal, one of them is definitely jumping ship, etc, etc.  Internet wrestling fans are special like that.

A few months ago, there was some buzz surrounding the free agency of Kazuchika Okada, as he was wrapping up his obligations in Japan, that seeing as how he didn’t re-sign with NJPW, it was a foregone conclusion that he was definitely coming to America, but the question really was, the WWE or AEW?  I mean, if I were a betting man, I’d have put a sizeable amount on AEW, but the thought of him going to the WWE was plausible enough to where many began to analyze the sudden push of Nakamura into a program against Cody Rhodes, as evidence of the willingness of the WWE to give Japanese guys high profile opportunities.

Regardless, Okada went to AEW, and Nakamura’s push came to about as sudden of a stop as it had started, but after watching the main event to AEW’s super television show aptly titled Blood and Guts, where Okada, who was previously regarded to be basically NJPW’s John Cena over the last 15 years, was relegated to this glorified hardcore brawl, where the man was undoubtedly out of his element, and performed as such too.

The same Okada, who basically had some of the greatest wrestling matches not just in modern history, but arguably of all-time, was hanging around inside double steel cages, trying to avoid being on camera as much as possible.  All around him were thumbtacks, steel chairs, ladders, and one of his most notable moments in the match was when Swerve Strickland put a staple in his middle finger, when he was merely just trying to flip the bird because he’s an evil heel and that’s what bad guys do.

Eventually, he would be “taken out” during a commercial break that didn’t even get JR’s Restaurant Quality Picture-in-Picture™ and was hiding for the remaining minutes of the shitshow, and it goes without saying that there’s no single part of me that doesn’t feel that AEW is wasting and squandering the talents of a guy like Kazuchika Okada (and Mercedes Mone but that’s a different story).

I like to imagine a scenario where after a debacle like this one, one random evening, Okada calls up Nakamura, assuming that they’re friends because they’re both Japanese, both professional wrestlers, and have a positive relationship built when they were both in NJPW.

Okada asks Shinsuke if he saw his match at Blood and Guts, and of course Nakamura didn’t, because he’s on the road and didn’t have a chance to see it.  Okada goes into mansplain mode about how intense it was, how into the marky AEW crowd was, and all the cool shit they got to do in the ring.  Meanwhile, Nakamura responds with an unimpressed mmhmm, while he describes how he had to lose to Logan Paul at a house show in Sheboygan, Wisconsin in the second match of the night, but at least he didn’t have to land on any thumbtacks or have his finger staple gunned.

They proceed to talk about their respective lives in their respective promotions, where they both wax poetic about how they were the literal kings of NJPW, and how they’re basically organizational filler in America.  But Okada gets defensive and talks about how he’s a champion, Nakamura rebuts that AEW/ROH has like 53 active championship belts.  Okada talks about how he’s featured on television as opposed to Nakamura, but Shinsuke says he’d rather not be on television than be portrayed like a clown when he was a god in Japan just four months ago.

And then Nakamura then goes on the offensive to talk about how even though he’s an afterthought right now, he still works a soft schedule, gets to travel internationally on the WWE’s dime, and gets to experience a lot of the world, all while not having to be put in uncomfortable clusterfucks and wrestle on thumbtacks and staples.

Okada responds with the likely reality that he makes way more money than Nakamura does, but then the older and wiser Shinsuke responds that they’ve both already made big fortunes in wrestling already, at what point does all these extra dollars even matter?

And with the Okada rage hangs up the phone, while Shinsuke Nakamura scoffs and laughs at the dead air suddenly at his ear.

This is the kind of bullshit that goes on through my head these days when I’m not in dad-mode, and this is probably why I can’t even begin to start making my life’s fortune on some stupendous side hustle that would undoubtedly take off to the moon if I could just get off my ass and stop brogging about professional wrestling fan fiction.

MJF and the new AEW American Championship

A week ago, I tuned into AEW Dynamite #250, because I bit the bait at the idea of MJF vs. Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland vs. Kazuchika Okada.  Now the Swerve and Okada match was a stinker and a schmozz, giving credence to Arn Anderson’s adage that two talented workers don’t mean they’ll have any chemistry.

But the MJF and Will Ospreay match was definitely an instant classic, and if Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer had any credibility anymore, I’m sure the match probably got like some convoluted number of like 6.69 stars in his meaningless rating rubric, but the fact of the matter was that it was a great match, resulting in a surprising title change of Ospreay dropping the AEW Intercontinental International Championship to MJF, which I kind of wasn’t expecting.

I intended on watching this week’s Dynamite, I mean BLOOD AND GUTS, because it was something I could do while I ate my dinner, but the TBS app appears to have been developed by RealPlayer and I ended up missing the first 15 minutes of the show because it simply would not stop spinning and ultimately required me to restart the app and re-login in order for it to get working again.

It turns out that I missed the only good thing about the show, which was the opening segment where MJF tossed the International Championship blet into the trash, and unveiled a ridiculous, gaudy new championship blet, aptly called the AEW American Championship, hilariously with no AEW logo on it anywhere.

The man truly continuously grasps at low-hanging fruit storylines and plot devices, but repeatedly knocks them out of the park with his above-average mic, promo and character work, and it’s hilarious that he’s always opening, because you know he’s bouncing from the arena as soon as his work is done for the night.

The strap has the stars and stripes of the United States flag, and the side plates read Better Than You (And the UK) And You Know It on one side and Only Country That Matters on the other side.

It’s an abomination of a championship blet.

So naturally I want it.

Regardless of what it’s called officially, it’s still basically another United States championship, and I don’t know why, call it patriotism or whatever, I’ve always been drawn to US Championships, and I have one from most promotions where there’s been one; WCW’s, WWE’s and even New Japan’s.  I also have the NXT North American blet, and it seems appropriate that MJF’s American Championship blet would be a good addition to the collection.

However, AEW’s replicas, at the low end is $599, and I’m sure a replica would be of high quality, but that price point is just a real bitter pill to swallow.  The most I’ve ever gone on a blet is $550, and even that came from pool of house money when I was doing internet surveys obsessively for two years.

It’s not even available yet, so we’ll see what happens in the future to whether or not I’ll manage to get my hands on one of these things, but despite my self-anointed status as a premiere blet collector, I still don’t have any AEW replicas, mostly on account of their egregious pricing, but if I were ever to start with any, the MJF American Championship seems like the most likely to be my first.

Take that, job hoppers

Yahoo Finance: wage growth for job hoppers slowing down as labor markets cool

One of the many things that I’ve had to accept as a changing of the times kind of the thing is has been the growing acceptance of job hopping in the working world.  I was more or less raised on the mindset of getting myself into a company, staying for my entire career, earning pension, retirement and all the benefits that come with longevity, and then work my entire career for a single company.

Obviously the world does change, and I don’t disagree that there’s little point in staying somewhere if you become miserable or the game of finances doesn’t seem to be keeping competitive to the market, but mostly if you’re just not plain happy, or you get laid off of released for any litany of reasons.  It’s naïve to think that anyone is going to stay with a singular place of employment for 30+ years anymore.

But as the years have gone by, the working world has gotten to the point where employees spend less and less time at employers before deciding to bounce, and it no longer seems like it’s people having lower thresholds for bullshit as much as it is that people today are just bigger flakes and indecisive and easily swayed by the shiny thing on the other side of the fence instead of remotely trying to have a stable career somewhere.

I used to tell myself that no matter what, to give every place at least a year before exploring a change.  A year seemed like an adequate amount of time to really learn about the highs and lows of a company, learn about the commutes, the types of people you work with, how they operate holidays and busy seasons, etc.

My first job after I moved to Atlanta, I stuck it out a year.  At first, it was great, but then the commute became murderous and the superiors in my company weaned off the honeymoon period and became really toxic to everyone.  I was the third or fourth resignation in a rapid exodus, because I found a job that was way closer to home, and paid a little bit more money, but honestly I do chalk it up as a mistake because I realized that I hated the work and the line of business I was in.

I didn’t quite make it a year at this place, but that was because they laid off my entire team, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because I got with a place where I stayed for nearly four years, before my entire team was laid off there as well, which put me into a tumultuous life of freelance for many years, before I got my foot in the door with the state.  I stayed there for three years before a lack of growth, wages and just general boredom led to a messy divorce, and then I made another career mistake by bouncing to a place that was again closer and paid better, but the nature of the work and the dynamics of the company were hell.

This was actually the first time in my career I bounced before a year, because I was miserable and wanted out.  It was a move I don’t regret, and where I really had to self-reflect a lot on my choice to deviate from my original mindset, but it was for the best, because I ended up somewhere where I spent the largest tenure in my career.

But when coronavirus and the age of COVID-19 came upon the world, it transformed the world to closer where we are now.  My shortest tenure at a place was six months, but I was now beginning to witness people barely staying at a company for six weeks before deciding to bounce.  I remember assessing and trying to sniff out flight risk when combing through resumes and interviews at my old job, because my company and department in particular had a tendency to attract a lot of people who were looking for means to get their foot in the door, and as soon as their probationary period ended, would capitalize on the favoritism of internal associates to swap to a different team.

However, it wasn’t just internal bouncing, people just weren’t sticking around the company, or any other company, anywhere.  People would come, and just when it seemed like things would settle down on the team or company, suddenly there’d be news of them having turned in their notice, and the company and/or team was back to square one.

I get that when the day is over, everyone does have to take care of number #1, but the reality is that when they take a job that they’re not gung-ho over, and keep their options open and get a bite somewhere shinier, they really are fucking over the employer, which nobody is going to lose any sleep over, but a whole bunch of colleagues who might not all be soul sucking shitheads that deserve such disrespectful dismissal, are typically going to get shortchanged in that they’re losing a co-worker who was hired to be depended upon for what is usually hoped to be a for a semi-permanent amount of time.

The positions that are suddenly vacated all have to start over from square one, and there’s no guarantee that all other possible candidates are on the board anymore.  Most places have to go through the whole process from the beginning, meaning they have to vet and bot resumes all over again, interview a set number of candidates, and for anyone whom they’re crawling back to, lose leverage and face towards someone that wanted the job previously, and are now looking at the employer with their own set of resentment and likely notion to flake on them increases.

Before I left my last job, we too were no stranger to the COVID-prompted mass migration of employment, and lots of people, those I knew or knew of, were bouncing out of the company left and right.  Meanwhile, the power vacuum as a result of such departures led to a lot of shitty unqualified fucks to get some high up positions, and by the time I threw in the towel and left, I was in a position where my cunt of a boss was actively trying to get me out the door.

Sure, I did migrate during COVID, and got a sweet 26% pay bump in the process, but honestly if my work-life wasn’t as toxic as it had become, I probably would’ve stayed and not even entertained the thought of looking somewhere else.  I really didn’t want to leave, but my boss forced my hand.

But at my current place of employment, I’m in but just year three now, but I’ve already witnessed an inordinate amount of people who have started working for the company, and within as little as two months, seen them bounce, leading to myself and everyone else to throw their hands up and basically say what the fuck?

And of course they’re taking care of themselves, but several of these people really did fuck over my team with their general flakiness, and this is why I’m starting to relish in the notion that job hopping’s notion of getting better money or better positions is starting to diminish, because I do feel some salt and some want for retribution towards this entitled and lazy, flaky workforce that has gotten the working world to this sorry state we’re in currently.

Maybe if more people are “forced” to stick with their jobs that they’re fortunate to have in the first place, perhaps companies can actually get some teams that gel and become competent through experience and tenure, and become you know, better companies, that produce better products and services, and suddenly miraculously become more successful based on performances from their workforces.

But fuck me right, everyone’s got to take care of themselves, and it’s okay to bounce every six months?