Tag: sports

A e-tale of two extremes

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I got two emails today; one from New Japan Pro-Wrestling’s shop, and then not long afterward, one from the WWEShop, since I’m a big wrestling mark nerd who has shopped with both companies to where regardless of the checkbox I decline to receive emails, they send me shit anyway.  Normally, I delete them all with light prejudice since I never asked to receive them in the first place, but today I opened both of them, because they smartly put in the subject line, shit about my favorite thing in the world: blets.

In one corner, we have NJPW’s shop advertising the pre-sale of the undisputed NJPW World championship that I’ve made no secret to not being a fan of the design of.  But at an insignificant, paltry $3,500 (three thousand, five hundred dollars), you could be one of probably 1,000 extreme marks to get your hands on an extremely rare, official NJPW replica championship blet.

In all fairness, it is typical impeccable Japanese craftsmanship, and unlike lots of wrestling replica blets that are made from brass or some other cheap shit metal, official NJPW blets are (allegedly) made from actual 24-karat gold, to justify the drink-spitting price tag on them, so in theory, they literally could be purchased as a legitimate investment, should the cost of gold ever spike to Gamestop-like proportions, and an actual owner of one of these bad boys could flip them for some actual profit.

But yeah no, $3,500, I can think of a hundred more constructive or better things to spend that money on, mostly going towards my actual house, a real architectural structure where human beings reside in, instead of a championship blet replica, regardless of how much I love collecting them.  Alternatively, I could get like 7-8 WWE replica blets (at full retail) for that cost, or every single AEW replica blet in one fell swoop, instead of a blet that I don’t like the design of in the first place.

But speaking of WWE replica blets, it brings us to email #2, from the WWEShop.  Because the WWE has caught up to having released almost every single blet in WWF, WWE, WCW and ECW history at some point, as well as having made a legion of bullshit “commemorative” blets for cherry picked former wrestlers, and a confusing array of MLB and SEC athletics tribute blets, it should come as no surprise that the WWE has finally gotten in bed with the NFL, seeing as how there’s a considerable amount of overlap between fans of both companies.

For what will probably be a low-cost (in comparison to NJPW) of $499 per blet, NFL fans can get official WWE replica blets of their favorite team, regardless of if they’re the Kansas City Chiefs or not, seeing as how they’re probably going to embark on a dynasty and win every Super Bowl as long as Patrick Mahomes stays on the squad, but you can get a blet anyway, because if you’re a Redskins Commanders, Lions, Cardinals, Texans or fan of some other hopeless shitty NFL squad, you can get a blet anyway and feel like for two seconds what it feels like to have something that scripted winners get to hold.

UNLESS you’re a Jacksonville Jaguars fan, because in a humorous turn of events, the WWE overlooked for a few minutes that the Jags are also the owners of AEW, and pulled the option from their site, but not before smartasses on the internet made the astute observations first, and of course, got their archive of screencaps and proof of fucking up, because there’s little else the internet loves to do than call out failure.

Either way, I’m broke as fuck, so there’s no chance in hell I’m getting any of these new blets anyway.  I only like blets that actually exist or have existed, and my general cap for any blets is preferred to stick under $500 a pop.  But all the same, I do think it was amusing that both of these drops happened on the same day, and not without its own malaise by the ol’ E for forgetting that one of the NFL teams also reinforces their number one North American competitor’s bankroll.

Voting for the Rome Rednecks

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

lol’d heartily: the High-A affiliate of the Atlanta Braves, the Rome Braves announce rebranding of the team starting in 2024; reaching out to the pleebs for suggestions for the new team name

When I learned that the Braves along with a few other franchises, were selling their minor league affiliates, I knew that this was going to eventually happen.  The Braves, as well as the Yankees, Cardinals and Cubs off the top of my head, maybe a few others, were some of the only teams that owned one or more of their minor league affiliates. 

As a result, these teams would often times be generically branded as the Springfield Cardinals, Staten Island Yankees, Iowa Cubs, and in the case of the Braves, the Gwinnett Braves, Richmond Braves, Macon Braves, Mississippi Braves, Danville Braves and so forth.  In fact, the Braves were probably the worst team at brand suffocation; at one point, they basically had the rights to nearly their entire minor league pipeline, branding them all “the Braves.”

None of these teams got to be quirky, have fun names, and the freedom to brand, market and advertise, because of stuffy corporate brand standards.  And for every minor league team that was owned by their parent organizations, there would be five other teams with fun, local, unique, memorable or all of the above names and identities, that paired up with all the same, to an MLB organization.

The Montgomery Biscuits, Modesto Nuts, Myrtle Beach Pelicans, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, and the Asheville Tourists come to mind off the top of my head.  All unique, quirky and interestingly branded organizations with contractual obligations to be minor league affiliates of MLB squads.  I’ve also been to the homes of all the aforementioned minor league teams, and let me tell you how much more fun minor league baseball is compared to the too-serious, pain-in-the-ass experience of big league Major League Baseball.

Well, now that the Atlanta Braves don’t have the right to lord over the Rome Braves anymore, it comes as no surprise that the newly anointed Rome Professional Baseball Club has decided to ditch the Braves name and come up with something new, fresh, and hopefully a lot more fun than a name that every so often gets brought up as whyyyy do they still have such an offensive name to indigenous people??

No more stuffy, constricting bullshit corporate standards, no more obligation to be contractually married to using nothing but red, white and navy.  The world is now a blank canvas for the Rome Professional Baseball Club, and I hope for the best that they manage to tap the people and actually get something clever, fun and with high potential to do some magical branding with.

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This is what it’s like when everyone knows the Mario Kart boost trick but you

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

3-2-1 GO?!  Somalia suspends chairwoman of country’s athletics federation after an embarrassing display where an untrained and unprepared runner placed dead last in a 100m sprint, nearly 10 seconds slower than the winner

Lord only knows why Somalia sent out someone so unqualified, untrained or unprepared for such an event, but if I had to guess, a no-show would have probably been worse than what they did, and they’d probably lose their spot or face some form of penalization.  Details are murky, but I’ve heard nepotism could’ve been at play, with the runner being related to someone in the decision-making process, or just completely inept planning, seeing as how a trained runner or any prepared backups were even in the building when they did what they did.

What really sucks is that despite the fact that in all likelihood it was not her fault, the poor runner is the one who is going to eat the unforgiving wrath of the internet, and be the target of all sorts of ridicule, commentary, memes and other less-than flattering outcomes.  More likely than not, it wasn’t her idea to be put in this situation in the first place, but she’s unfortunately the one who will be immortalized on the internet for this scenario.

But here it comes, not going to lie, I laughed my ass off when I saw the video.  I started snickering even before watching the video just from the synopsis alone, and by the time I got to watching the video, I knew what was going to happen, but it didn’t stop me from belly-laughing at the sheer hilarity of someone being in a situation they had no business being in, regardless of if it were their choice or not.

Even prior to the race, when you see the poor Somali runner stepping up to the blocks, everything about her stands out from her dress, stature, physique, and you just know it’s not going to be pretty.  And then the race starts, and it’s exactly what you predict is going to happen if you didn’t know the backstory behind it, and literally the best way to describe it is that it’s as if everyone knew about the Mario Kart starting light boost trick except the one person.

I know it’s not that person’s fault for being in that position, that it was entirely the result of inept leadership and people in decision-making positions that aren’t remotely qualified for them.  But I can’t deny that I haven’t laughed so hard at a video in a very long time, and I really, really needed it, and that I really, really appreciated the expense they’re coming at in order for me to have it, all the same.

Now here’s a guy that doesn’t play by the hour

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

That doesn’t work for me, hermano: Detroit Tigers pitcher Eduardo Rodriguez uses no-trade clause to block trade to the Los Angeles Dodgers; cites family and not wanting to uproot and move them in the middle of a season

At first glance, I want to applaud E-Rod for doing what he did, because I always have a ton of respect for professional athletes who see the world beyond money and accolades, especially those with families who have to think of other people than themselves but usually don’t, because they’re chasing money and accolades.  Rodriguez is entirely within his right to cite family reasons for blocking a trade, and fans of either team don’t have to like it, but need to accept that he did it.

The thing is though, in this particular situation, the Detroit Tigers are third in their division, comfortably out of contention at this point of the year, and were obviously trying to sell any useful assets like Rodriguez to start planning to re-tool for the future.  The Dodgers however, are first in their division and based on recent history, are more or less a sure-fire lock to be playing in the playoffs for the chance to go to the World Series.

It’s not like E-Rod was being traded to a team on the cusp, and would need every bit of contribution from him to fight and claw their way in, the Dodgers wanted E-Rod to help them maintain their playoff position and improve upon their playoff performance from the year prior.  For the professional athlete who wants to achieve championship glory in their careers, Rodriguez kind of let a gold-colored ship sail, even if I do have respect for the consideration he took for his family.

The thing is, trades and moves happen in every single professional sport, and are very much an everyday part of life in the business.  For every E-Rod that uses his family as a reason to not accept a trade from a basement dweller to a contender, there are 20 other trades that happen on the day of any sport’s trade deadline of guys who pull the trigger and go, either because they don’t have a no-trade clause and have no choice, or they want the opportunity to go to a contender and possibly win a championship.

Those players’ families often times just stay where they are, while the player that moves either picks up an apartment, stays with a teammate or family or friends that might be in their new teams’ cities and agree to kind of live out of suitcases for the next 2-3 months until the season wraps up, and then figure out what to do with their lives which is usually easy, because professional athlete salaries make it really easy to move around.

So what I’m really getting at here is that although it sounds all altruistic and sacrificial that Eduardo Rodriguez cites family values as his basis for not accepting a trade to the Dodgers, I also think there’s a part of his unspoken rationale that involves simply, not wanting to deal with the pressure, expectations and very likely additional workload of contender’s baseball.  Because I feel like nine times out of ten, other players in similar circumstances takes the trade, because they want the opportunity to play for a championship.

Here we have an example of a man who doesn’t work by the hour, and only wants to work the workload for the money that he is making, and nothing more than that.  By no means is he poor, as he’s making $14M this season, and has $49M more he’s contractually obligated to.  But it also sounds like he doesn’t want the immense pressure of working in Los Angeles, where the fickle fanbase is expecting another championship, versus the low-key, non-contending Tigers, where he can take the hill every five days, put up the stellar numbers he’s putting up this year, and coast his way to the end of September where his season is over, and he can begin a relaxing off-season with said family.

Either way, good for E-Rod.  I didn’t know too much about his financials prior to starting this post, but now that I’ve gotten a look at his numbers, I can’t hate on a well-paid guy that just wants to chill his way through a career, and is completely comfortable and at home pitching for a non-contender like the Tigers, and doesn’t feel like dealing with the pressure and bullshit of playing for the Dodgers.  He also probably has a reservation at Disney World for October, and he doesn’t want to give it up, because the Food & Wine Festival really is the best thing there.

I feel like we’ve seen this before

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Déjà vu: South Korea denies Germany opportunity to advance to the knockout stage in the World Cup with 1-1 draw

Shoutout to the South Korean women’s World Cup squad for doing basically the exact same thing that the men’s squad did in 2018.  Despite lackluster, uninspiring performances in their first two groups matches and in spite of being paired up against powerhouse Germany in their final groups match, they kept their heads help up high and played out of their minds, and in the process, cockblocked Germany from advancing to the knockout stage.

I’m not going to pretend like I follow women’s futbol on the regular, but I am often curious to see how the US women do, because I do enjoy the train of US women futbol players shouldn’t get equal pay to their men counterparts, because frankly I think they should get more, seeing as how they’re usually way more successful on the global stage than the boys are.  And when you have a global stage, I’ve always got an ear open to see how Korea is doing, if they’re even present at all.

When I saw that the Korean women had dropped their first two matches, I had this dread that the squad was going to exit the tournament without having scored a single goal, which would be pretty embarrassing.  I didn’t really think that a repeat of the 2018 men’s tournament was a chance, since I didn’t think there was any way that a country as proud and futbol-centric as Germany would allow for it to happen.

But unlike the men’s match that took 94 minutes to drive a knife into the hearts of Germany, the women apparently only needed just four minutes, when 조소현 scored a goal, putting the instant pressure on the Germans to not only have to equalize, but score at least two, in order to have a chance at gaining enough points in order to move on.  To add insult to injury, concurrently, Morocco scored on Columbia to tip the point scale even further for Germany, and despite them equalizing with Korea, the 1-1 tie at the end wasn’t enough to secure passage into the knockout stage, and what we have is that once again, Koreans sent Germany packing from the World Cup. 

They might have performed poorly throughout the tournament, but at least they finished strong, much like their male counterparts five years prior, left the World Cup on a high note.

At Germany’s expense.  lol’d

O pilsung corea, motherfuckers

When the photoshop drives the post

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A few days ago, the Mets began their slow raising of the white flag when they traded David Robertson away.  Their $gabillion dollar payroll team, hilariously wasn’t working, and the Mets realized that the only way to get onto the path of recovery is to start selling, even in spite of post a historic payroll, thus proving the old adage that you can’t buy success, especially when you’re the New York Mets.

Not long afterward, the Mets successfully unloaded one of their biggest ballasts, when they shipped Max Scherzer over to the Texas Rangers.  Sure, the Mets would have to eat a massive chunk of the remainder of the money they owe Scherzer, but they did get back Luisangel Acuña, which is very much in relation to the Atlanta Braves’ superstar outfielder, Ronald Acuña, Jr., his little brother.   Obviously, the Mets are hoping the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and that Acuña Jr-Jr might blossom into half the superstar that big brother Ronald is.

Make no mistake though, as much of a pride-swallowing, crow-eating gesture that trading Max Scherzer is for the Mets, it absolutely is a big win for the organization.  Probably the best thing to happen to the organization all season.  Sure, they’re eating $35M of the remaining $58M they owe him in order for the Rangers to take him, but the $23M savings they are getting in the aggregate is a pretty big deal in the long game.

That being said, when the 2024 season rolls around, thanks to the ridiculous deferred money deal Scherzer made with the Nationals, he will be getting paychecks from an unprecedented three different MLB organizations, all of which are going to be over $15M each.  The Nationals will be paying him one of their annual $15M installments which goes all the way to 2028, the Rangers will be paying him $15M, and from what I’ve read, the Mets will be paying a $28M chunk of their remaining obligation to Scherzer, which means he’s slated to be making $58 million fucking dollars in 2024.

I don’t really know how to explain it, but he’s like the reverse, anti-Bobby Bonilla with this kind of arrangement, where he’s not going to be getting paid until the end of time regardless of his playing status, he’s somehow swindled multiple organizations to be contractually obligated to giving him massive amounts of money for a very short period of years.

But as the subject says, this wasn’t really something that I was intending on writing about, even though this is the kind of bullshit of baseball that I love hearing about, but when chatting with some bros about sports and this topic, I made an analogy about how Max Scherzer is like the Thanos of getting baseball teams to pay him money, and by somehow managing to swindle three teams to pay him simultaneously, he’s basically like Thanos collecting Infinity Stones.

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How have the Angels sucked?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

With the Major League Baseball trade deadline looming, and with there being an endless array of articles, hypothetical and proposed trades for uber-superstar Shohei Ohtani, the question has come up a lot recently, as well as being one of baseball’s more recent memories over the last decade: how have the Angels sucked?

Going back to 2012, when the Angels had acquired a prime-Albert Pujols, fresh off a World Series win, they also called up Mike Trout, who has for the better part of the last decade, been the best player in MLB, you’d think the Angels would have opened a window in which championships wouldn’t just be contended for, they would be expected.

Obviously, everyone knows that baseball is a team sport and that one man does not a championship win, but a guy like Mike Trout is a generational talent, and with someone the talent of at least five good players, success in theory should have come by a little easier for the Angels than it would for like, the Seattle Mariners.

And over the decade, the Angels would go on to win the signing rights and acquire Shohei Ohtani, who wasn’t just the next Babe Ruth, he’s light years better than ol’ Herman, with his homerun hitting prowess, as well as his ace-caliber power pitching.

Seriously, here are the AL MVP rankings over the last eleven seasons:

2012: Mike Trout, MVP
2013: Mike Trout, 2nd in MVP voting
2014: Mike Trout, MVP
2015: Mike Trout, 2nd in MVP voting
2016: Mike Trout, MVP
2017: Mike Trout, 4th in MVP voting
2018: Mike Trout, 2nd in MVP voting
2019: Mike Trout, MVP
2020: Mike Trout, 5th in MVP voting
2021: Shohei Ohtani, MVP
2022: Shohei Ohtani, 2nd in MVP voting

The Angels have had the AL MVP in five of the last eleven seasons, which is pretty unprecedented.  With such abundance of talent, you’d think the Angels would have been at the very least, in the playoffs every single year or something, right?

Well of course not!  Otherwise a brog post like this wouldn’t ever come to fruition, and these are the kinds of things that happen in baseball that make baseball such a wonderful sport to be a fan of, because logic doesn’t matter sometimes, and wacky shit happens every single day in a baseball season.

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