Tag: famiry

2 Under 2: Self-fulfilling prophecy (#048)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When my older sister had children, she explained to me one day that doing anything with toddlers is basically a game of 15-minute chunks of time.  An ordinary run to the grocery store or a trip to Target which would ordinarily not take a tremendous amount of time has its time multiplied several times over due to the necessity of preparation to accommodate a toddler(s).  Naturally I understand, but it was one of those things that I hoped that when I had my own kid(s), if it was something that I might be able to improve upon or be more efficient with, because I’m always all for trying to find out how to make processes more efficient.

Over the weekend, we decided to take my child to the pool.  In spite of the weather, the skies opened up, the sun was bursting, and it looked like a scene right out of a Disney opening sequence.  So with the pool decided, the clock began ticking for preparing for a seemingly pedestrian trip to the neighborhood pool:

  • Put child in swimsuit
  • Put on our own swimsuits
  • Sunscreen child
  • Sunscreen ourselves
  • Bring snack for child
  • Bring drinks for ourselves
  • Is child’s inflatable inflated?
  • No, need to inflate
  • Pack pool bag
  • Mythical wife wants to take a smoothie to the pool
  • Need to prepare smoothie
  • Blender sounds scare child, need to calm her

25 minutes later, we’re in the car on the way to the pool.  Our window to enjoy the pool limited to the next daily milestone, which would be dinner at 5:20 for child.

But, as we pull into the pool lot, I see the first drips of precipitation on my windshield.  Undeterred, I say it’s just light sprinkles, and we get out of the car and prepare to go poolside, and wait under umbrellas if it gets any worse.  As I lift the hatch to my car to start unloading, the sky just decides to say fuck you, and suddenly it’s raining again, despite there being no clouds in the sky.

Trip to the pool dashed, we crankily went back home, with no pool enjoyment to be had.  My afternoon was effectively dashed and I was agitated the rest of the afternoon.

Frankly, this is hardly the first time that the game of 15-25 minutes just to execute has come into play, but it was definitely a prime example of how it affected things so immediately, and in spite of my desires to be a more efficient and higher executing parent, it’s a steep climb to not fall into the same pitfalls that all other parents probably do.

2 Under 2: Uncharted Territory (#047)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

At the time I’m writing this, mythical wife has passed the 36-week mark, and we’re nearly two weeks past the point in which my first was born early.  Needless to say, despite the fact that pregnancies are typically measured in 40-week events, a lot of things can happen in just less than two of them, especially towards the tail end of them.

Sure, no two pregnancies are ever the same as most moms will attest to, but at the same time, there are a lot of commonalities between them as well.  Regardless, since we’re into uncharted territory this time around, there are some stark noticeable differences between the first time and the current.

Mostly insomnia, but also the increasing strain of a growing entity the size of a butternut squash puts on mythical wife’s body, and she’s basically tipping past the point of relief that we’ve made it past 34.5 weeks, to getting eager to serve eviction papers to our little tenant living rent-free.

Despite our general preparation and understanding that baby #2 is on the way, I don’t think it’s really going to sink in entirely, until she’s actually arrived.  When I think about life as it is right now, as a one-child household, and the general routine that’s been carved out, it does make me a little nervous to when we hit the point where #2 arrives and then it’s back to the drawing board of figuring out how each and every day is going to go afterward.  Not that I feel any sort of dread and apprehension at the addition to the famiry, but it’s definitely going to be a challenge when everything is thrown into chaos once again.

But until then, it’s taking everything a day at a time until we’re out of days before the scheduled arrival, with clenched buttholes and constant status checks.  My own dad is convinced that we’ll make it all the way to the scheduled date, but I think mythical wife would rather slit her wrists than wait that much longer, but at the same thing if things show up sooner, then whew, here comes the pandemonium.

2 Under 2: Walking on eggshells (#045)

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Photo courtesy Here Comes the Sun Photography

Today marks 34 weeks in mythical wife’s pregnancy, which is a pretty significant milestone as far as we’re concerned.  Child #1 was prematurely born at 34.5 weeks, and from what a lot of medical sources tend to state, premature once, premature possible again. 

Needless to say, I’ve reached the stage of walking on eggshells and anoos clenched that history does not repeat itself, as in spite of how well we navigated the waters and journeys of a premature birth the first time around, it is still preferrable to hope to avoid it the second time around, avoid the NICU and hope for a closer-to-full-term arrival, closer to 40 weeks than 34.

All the same, we both need to be ready at a moment’s notice at this point, as anything is possible now.  Our home is relatively prepared, #2’s nursery is pretty much complete, and if we had to introduce a new child into the home today, we’d probably be in good shape in terms of preparation.  But still, given the challenges and strain of wading into the ocean of firsts the first time around, we both know what we’re hoping for, versus what we’re hoping to circumvent.

Regardless, it’s crazy to think that it’s almost arrival time for #2.  Before I know it, I’ll be a new dad to a second kid when I’m barely getting the scent of new dad off of me from the first.  As much as I’ve been mentally trying to not become complacent, settling into the routine of the development of one kid, knowing that the second is right around the corner, with the hopes that once #2 arrives, the rigors of overnight feeds, sleep deprivation and the added challenge of two simultaneous children, I know it’s going to hit like a ton of bricks all over again and mythical wife and I will be in for a world of fatigue very soon.

Until then though, it’s hold onto your butts and hoping for the best.  Every day beyond the 34.5 week mark will be a gift, and I’m hoping that we’ll reach a point where mythical wife will be clawing at the bit to serve an eviction notice, rather than to be on pins and needles hoping #2 will stay put for just a little bit longer.

2 Under 2: the first restaurant experience (#043)

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Mother’s Day was a big day for my family: we collectively went out to eat for the very first time.  It was my child’s first ever visit to a restaurant.

Ordinarily, this does not sound like remotely anything close to a big deal, but considering my first hasn’t left the house for basically any reason but doctor’s visits, sparse store trips, or riding in the car while we pick up takeout for the first 14 months of her existence, mythical wife and I like to think it is something of a deal to us.

Over the last year, I can count on one hand how many times mythical wife and I have gone out to eat; all were special occasions, and all were either eating outdoors and/or after vaccination.  This dining out experience with our child fills out the first hand, but the point is despite safety measures and vaccinations, my household is still very careful and conservative when it comes to dining out because we have brains and know that the world is still not safe at all, especially in America where we have the dumbest anti-vaxxing non-believing Karen and Karl cultures ruining it for everyone actually trying to bring down the numbers.

Anyway, we went to a Mexican restaurant we like, at an odd hour between lunch and dinner to avoid crowds, and sat on the patio.  We brought our own child seat because I still don’t trust all places, regardless of how buttoned up this restaurant typically is, and the familiarity would hopefully ease the transition of the brand-new experience of eating somewhere other than home, with lots of people all around us, and eating outdoors.

Much to our relief and much to my pride, my daughter was absolutely perfect during the whole time there.  Not a single fuss, no crying, whimpering or whining, and she was completely behaved and perfect the entire visit.  She ate a chicken and cheese quesadilla with no complaints, and mythical wife and I could not have been any happier or proud of her behavior on what was her first ever dining out experience.

Honestly, I don’t know how I’d have felt if it didn’t go so well.  I know I’d be quick to get her out of the chair and try to comfort her in the parking lot or something, since we were already on the patio, but thankfully she was so perfectly behaved, that nothing of the sort had to come into play.

2 Under 2: The continuation of the new father brogs (#40)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Seeing as how I’d been deliberating the fact that after a year, I don’t think I can really be called a “new” dad anymore, seeing as how I’ve gone through the initial minefield of trials and tribulations of sleep depravation, diaper blowouts and all sorts of things that are associated with bringing new life into the world.

And since the WWEShop was gracious enough to finally bring the cost of the women’s tag blets I had 100% intention of purchasing for my two daughters down to my target price point, I pulled the trigger, blets were received, this photo was taken, it seemed like now was as good of time as any to officially change over to a different category title for moving forward.

Most people who might be reading this (all zero of y’all) are probably aware that mythical wife is pregnant and that we’re on the path to bringing #2 into the world this summer, and that it is, another daughter.  I’d often had this feeling that I was destined to have at least one daughter, and I’d be lying if I didn’t have this suspicion that it seemed appropriate for someone like me to end up having a second, becoming a bonafide girl-dad twice over.

Regardless, mythical wife and I are on the timeline of having two children under the age of two, to which just about everyone has opined that we are definitely going to be parenting on hard-mode for the indeterminate future, which seems very obvious, but here we are. 

Despite the fact that it will undoubtedly be excruciatingly difficult at times, and I will probably have like 20 more dad brogs about how much life is hard, I’m sleep deprived, burned out and/or other moments of being stressed out, I still know that at the end of the day, I have loved being a dad to one child and I have all the expectations that I will continue to do so for two, no matter what challenges present themselves to mythical wife and I.

More importantly, since my first daughter will definitively have a natural tag-team-partner-for-life in a sister, it only seemed appropriate that the two of them would have their own blets to commemorate that lifetime partnership.  I imagine there will be plenty of times in which they will team up to the detriment of mythical wife and I, but if they’re working together with success in their mind, there’s only so much ire I could possibly have, and probably smile about the teamwork at a later time.

For now, the girls’ blets will remain in my office along with my collection, because mythical wife absolutely does not want wrestling belts hanging in their respective rooms that she has put a lot of thought into designing.  I acquiesced for the time being, on the condition that if the girls decide on their own that they want them in their rooms in the future, there will be no resistance.

If they are truly my flesh and blood, we all know how this is going to turn out.  But only time will tell on whether or not I’ll experience the next greatest day of my life in the future or not.

Minari: chicken soup for the Korean-American soul

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I finally got around to watching Minari.  I didn’t watch it because of all the Academy Award acclaim it was getting, nor did I watch it solely because it was a film about Koreans, starring Koreans and was produced by mostly Koreans.  I’ve been wanting to watch Minari because based on the premise of the film, it was something that I knew was probably going to hit home to a Korean-American person like me, and I went in knowing that there were probably going to be a lot of moments of reflection, reminiscing, comparing and probably shit that was going to make me cry.

Without giving anything away, the basic plot is a Korean family moves from California to Arkansas, primarily so that dad (Steven Yeun) can chase his dream of starting up a farm.  Naturally, this is a cause of culture shock for Koreans to move into rural middle America, and the struggles and rigors of surviving and adapting at the same time.

What was endlessly amusing to me is that I feel like Steven Yeun, since rising as a star from The Walking Dead, I feel like took his appearance in David Chang’s Ugly Delicious to heart a little bit, where Chang’s circle-jerk of celebrity friends was giving him a little bit of shit for being able to make it as a big-time American star in spite of being Korean, and almost since then, has been doing a lot of roles that inject him into his Korean heritage.  Despite the fact that his Korean sounds a lot like most Korean kids who did a lot of their growing up in America, it’s his attempts to sound like fresh-off-the-boat English that had me cracking up. 

But if there’s anything that was truly right about the entire film, it was undeniably Youn Yuh-Jung’s role in the film, playing grandma Soonja.  Obviously her performance was justly recognized seeing as how she was a shoe-in to win best supporting actress and did such, becoming the first Korean actor or actress to win an Academy Award.  But she shines from the moment she shows up in the film, and it makes me reminisce to my own childhood, where my grandma often stayed at my home to fulfill the same role as Soonja did, being the free babysitter for primarily me since I was the baby of the generation.  My grandma wasn’t nearly as hands-on, or quite nearly as sassy or show as much personality as Soonja did, nor was I nearly the shithead to her as David was to Soonja, but it definitely gets the memories flooding through the gates.

Frankly, there’s a lot of parallels to the film I could feel with my own life, seeing as how both my parents were also chicken sexers growing up, and how my family grew up in rural Virginia, which wasn’t nearly as remote as Arkansas, but was still similar in the sense that there probably were like 15 Koreans in the entire town, with some of them being relatives.  And I imagine just about every Korean family in America could probably feel some sort of kinship to the film as I did, and just about everyone in my own family has stated similar feelings themselves.

There’s a lot of subtle symbolism and interpretation necessary in the plot and its happenings throughout the film, and at first blush I was kind of perplexed at the way the film concluded, but when I lay in bed thinking about it, most of it kind of falls into place, and it makes me admire the film even more than I did while watching it.

Bottom line is that the film really is like chicken soup for the Korean-American soul, and although it’s nowhere near as critically acclaimed or attention-getting as Crazy Rich Asians or Parasite, but in my opinion, is still a tremendously important film for Korean or other Asian cultures to try and watch sometime.

Life get back to normalcy? LOL

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Seeing as how my wife shared the news on social media, I figure now is as good as time as any to finally break my own silence on this monumental news.

Originally written on December 1, 2020

We were watching 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way when mythical wife dropped the suspecting revelation on me.  The queasiness she was feeling over the day might not necessarily been from the ramen the night before.  The last time she felt this kind of nausea… and then there was the admission that a particular monthly event had not happened in a minute.

The next thing I know, I’m driving to Walgreens at 11pm on a Monday night, because we both felt the need to know what we already suspected was going to be the case with the circumstances that were already in play.  The last time we had this conversation like this, it was already a foregone conclusion and the test was merely a formality for visual confirmation of the obvious.

A second child was always something that my wife and I were open to.  She being an only child, knew the general loneliness that comes with growing up with no live-in sibling, and me, I grew up with a big sister, and there’s a pattern within my generation of cousins is that everyone has two kids, so it seemed like something that was bound to happen.  Fortunately, becoming a father and parent has been something I’ve taken to pretty well if I say so myself, and the idea of a second child never really seemed intimidating beyond the notion that my time will be stretched even thinner in the coming years and to have to go through teething with another baby gives me anxiety, but the idea itself was never off the table.

One thing I’ve learned about myself throughout the year is that I have a tremendous amount of love to give, and I have no doubt in my mind that I won’t have any shortage for another kid.

We just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly and so soon, as we’re just days away from our first child’s ninth month since birth.

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