Snowpocalypse 2019, Super Bowl Leee, etc.

I find myself in a position where I suddenly have some down time, and for lack of better things to do, I kind of feel like I should feel like writing.  Meetings are still consuming the vast majority of my work days, but for some reason, my afternoon meeting(s) have been pushed back to a later time, so kind of out the blue, I’ve got this patch of time, and I’ve already exhausted my usual rounds of internet surfing during my morning meeting(s), so I guess I’ll try to help the time pass by writing about some things that I don’t necessarily want to spend an entire post writing about, but aren’t so bad consolidated into a singular post.

So, earlier in the week, the City of Atlanta for the most part, shut down.  On Monday, the news was that an unavoidable snow storm was converging onto the southeast, including Georgia, and that by Tuesday morning, snow was all but guaranteed.  Mind you, all of Monday was around the high 50’s, and by the time I left the office, had topped out at 60F degrees.  It was such a beautiful day, I went home and threw the ball for big dog, since if the weather were to come true, there wouldn’t be another chance any time soon for ball time to occur.

As night rolled in, the temperature did start to drop, and I could feel that thickness in the air that typically seems to come with snow, but I couldn’t help but think in my mind how funny it would be if Snowpocalypse was some massive false call, and that nothing was to occur.  I had already taken contingency plans as far as work was concerned, and made sure to collect numbers from my employees, just in case I had to let them know that the office was closed in the morning.  The news kept pushing back the arrival of the impending snow from 11 pm to 3 am, and by the time I went to sleep, it was around 5 am.  I went to bed, expecting to see snow on the ground by the time I woke up.

And naturally, there was none.  I’m glad I didn’t alter my routine and stay up late because snow was all but guaranteed, and fuck myself from waking up.  I texted all my employees and made the day optional on account of the updated news that by 10-11 am, SNOW WAS GOING TO COME, but otherwise went into the office myself.  Went ot the gym, ran cardio, showered, and then went upstairs to my desk, where I had a pretty routine day; and since I’m seated next to the window, I had a front row seat to the small amount of misting that occurred, but no snow actually fell.

The picture above is a pretty accurate representation of what Snowpocalypse 2019 looked like in Atlanta.

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The implications of this are not good

Get ready for Cryme Tyme: the City of South Fulton passes the “Ban the Box” ordinance which no longer makes job applicants have to disclose if they have a criminal background

Shortly after New Years, I hit a freshly formed pothole, and blew a flat.  I was not pleased about it, since ultimately it’s an incident that nobody is really held accountable for, and I was out $500 in order to replace all my tires, since they were pretty much due for a change.  Regardless, I went on the internet and tracked down the protocol for reporting the pothole to the county, and within two days, I got a message stating that the pothole was resolved.  I drive on this stretch of road regularly, and I can confirm that it was patched pretty immediately.

I’ve stated that I’m still on my old neighborhood’s Nextdoor, since I can’t bring myself to walk away from the source of unintentional trainwreck entertainment, especially since it’s a subscription that not just anyone can get access to unless they live (or lived) there.  One issue that has been fairly persistent in my old hood (aside from theft, vandalism, celebratory gunfire, ordinary gunfire, bodies being found in the trunks of abandoned cars outside of Publix), is potholes.

They’ve been so problematic, it’s gotten to the point where it’s even been on the local news, with hopes that public exposure will shame GDOT into fixing it immediately, to which I’m not actually sure if it’s worked this time, because this tactic has been employed so many times.  Otherwise, this is an issue for the City of South Fulton, because its within their jurisdiction and they’re responsible for the infrastructure of themselves.

Needless to say, the response has not been swift, probably not been addressed, and I’ve seen numerous threads about all the cars that have fallen victim to the same potholes.  Sure, maybe they all shouldn’t be on 22” low-profile wheels more susceptible to blowing out on potholes, but that’s another story, but frankly people shouldn’t expect their tax-paid roads to be completely pocked with deep and detrimental potholes in the first place.

The point of all this introduction is that if people thought living in the City of South Fulton was bad before, imagine what it’s going to be like when anyone who ever wants to work for the city, will no longer have to disclose any criminal offenses they’ve had on their records?

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Man, fuck NCR

In short: stuffy Fortune 500 company NCR settles agreement with neighboring longstanding mainstay gentlemen’s club The Cheetah, to remove their iconic rotating sign, presumably so it wasn’t so obvious that their fancy Midtown offices wasn’t practically right next to, a strip club

NCR is a company in which just hearing the name would probably elicit crickets from most people.  But NCR is also the company that makes products that all around the world, people have seen their products: card readers, ATM components, and all sorts of POS equipment.  Yeah, NCR is vastly responsible for the majority of that crap all across the globe.

They’re also a company that I have personally dealt with at a previous place I worked, and they were what I would describe as a problem child of a business to work with.  Nitpicky as all hell, demanding, inconsiderate of both time and resources, I spent many extra hours of my life working on their shit, and with each round of corrections, they demanded fresh hard copies of their training materials to review, no matter how small or inconsequential the changes were. 

No lie, I must’ve used at least two boxes of letter paper for just their training manuals alone, and that was just to develop them.  I can’t imagine how many trees had to die for these fucks to actually produce them after they were finalized and approved to send to the printer.

Frankly, I have no love lost for NCR.  I resent them as a company and I can’t help but twitch when I use a card somewhere and I catch a glimpse of their logo on the POS equipment that I have to use in order to finish a transaction.

But that was just how they affected me; and now they’re affecting the landscapes of our fair city, Atlanta?  By forcibly having removed, one of icons of the city, that was here long before they even had any consideration of coming into Atlanta?

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Oh, Atlanta #877

To quote an internet commenter who was quoting any brand consultant:

the best diversion to consistent mediocrity is new branding and messaging.

That being said, you know what that means!  A new logo was made for something that didn’t need it!  And not only was a new logo created for something that didn’t need it, it also cost $590,000 to “make!”

Man, I am absolutely in the wrong business.  I totally need to find a way to get back onto the agency side that somehow has entire cities in their back pockets, to where they can charge over half a million dollars to rip off the Airwalk shoes logo, and then package it in 75 words of fluff and bullshit that could sell water to the ocean.  Because I’m pretty sure I could plagiarize one thing a year and be completely satisfied pulling in six figures for doing such and then calling it a year.

I mean I don’t even know where to begin with this perfect example of federal waste and in all likelihood crooked Atlanta politicians spoon-feeding their bedroom buddies.  But I think the most succinct place to start is with just the symbol itself:

  • The shapes that form the “star” in the logo are a series of “A’s” – or arrows – that spiral around a central axis, “symbolizing the freedom of movement provided to the region.” 
  • The arrows point toward and away from the center, “creating pulse-like movement.” 
  • The shape is reminiscent of a star, “and stars have provided guidance to travelers for thousands of years.” 

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The epitome of owned

I know that I concluded that Atlanta United winning an MLS Cup “counts” towards the city getting a long awaited championship, but if you ever wanted more proof that MLS doesn’t get any respect, look no further than the fact that the reigning MLS Champions won’t be able to play its CONCACAF Champions League home games, at home; due to a scheduling conflict – with Monster Jam and Supercross.

AKA the Grave Digger white trash redneck monster truck show and a bunch of dirtbikes pretending like they’re Excitebike.

So despite the fact that Atlanta United accomplished the impossible in getting the cursed monkey off the city’s back by winning a professional sport championship, they’re still denied the opportunity to represent the United States to a likely packed home field against Costa Rica’s Herediano fútbol club.

This is what I liked to declare, owned.

It’s really kind of silly too, because anyone who lives in Atlanta has probably seen just how maniacal it gets in the city whenever there’s an international friendly featuring one or two Latin American squads.  Mexico vs. Venezuela easily filled 65,000 at the Georgia Dome, and Honduras vs. Mexico easily matched that. 

If Atlanta United drew 73,000 into the Benz for the MLS Championship game, imagine just how easily it would draw another 73,000 featuring the heroes of the city versus, a Latin American squad?

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Does an MLS Cup break the Curse of Atlanta Sports?

No, serious question.  Don’t get wrong, I like soccer and I can sit down and watch a match and understand what’s going on, but the truth of the matter is that soccer doesn’t get a fraction of the respect and acknowledgement of The Big 3 sports (MLB, NFL, NBA) when it comes to general recognition, at least in America.  I feel like hockey and the NHL took a serious ding from their last strike and lockout, and they’ve fallen to a second-tier of prevalence where it only matters to the people whose teams are actually in contention, but it’s really difficult for those outside of those fandoms to actually care. 

And that’s where I get the impression that MLS is at, in spite of the fact that Atlanta United just won the top prize in the organization, the MLS Cup.  Personally, I don’t know how many teams there are in MLS.  I don’t even definitively know how many teams are in New York.  Obviously, I know Atlanta’s got a team, and I know for a fact that there are teams in Toronto, Seattle, Portland, Orlando, Los Angeles, and I think there’s one in Kansas City.  Otherwise, I don’t know much else about MLS as a whole, and I indulge in a lot of sports, be it on television or partaking in sports news on the internet.

That being said it brings me back to my original question, does Atlanta United winning the MLS Cup actually break the Curse of Atlanta Sports, the superstitious mythos behind the sheer inability of Atlanta sports teams to win any championships?

When sports media started coining the discussions about “cursed cities,” it almost always started with Cleveland, since for the longest time, the Browns sucked at football, the Indians sucked at baseball, and the Cavaliers sucked at basketball.  An NHL team lasted there for two seasons, a WNBA team for just six, and they’ve never had an MLS club.  Needless to say, they were undoubtedly the worst luck sports city in America, until LeBron James gave the city a second shot and basically willed the franchise to an NBA championship in 2016.

But ever since the debate of cursed cities came into existence, it really wasn’t hidden that curses and droughts really referred to championships in The Big 3; this was never made more prevalent than when the Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl in 2014, and for the ensuing weeks, there were all sorts of statements flung around about the first major sporting championship brought to Seattle in history, completely ignoring the fact that the Seattle Storm had won two WNBA titles prior to this.  The Kansas City Royals’ World Series win ended the drought in 2015, despite the fact that Sporting KC won the MLS Cup in 2013.  And Washington D.C. often ignored that D.C. United won four MLS Cups before the Capitals “broke the curse” with a Stanley Cup win just this year.

And the last two instances are prime examples of just how ignored MLS is in the grand spectrum of professional sport organizations, and why I pose the question on whether or not Atlanta United’s MLS Cup win actually breaks the Curse of Atlanta Sports.

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Don’t look now but…

…an Atlanta professional sports team is playing for an actual championship.  Caveat?  It’s Atlanta United, the city’s soccer team, playing for the MLS Cup.

Don’t get me wrong, I think soccer/futbol is great.  I enjoy watching the game, and I understand the vast majority of the rules, and think a 0-0 game that ends in a shootout is a marvelous thing.  It’s just that there’s no secret that it’s often perceived as a second-tier sport to most ‘Muricans who think real sports are limited to fat guys in pads who call themselves athletes crashing into one another, or who can slam dunk a basketball to make black people get out of their seats and overreact the colorfully.

When people think about which team is going to bring some championship pedigree to Atlanta, most of the time people are often thinking about the Falcons, or the Braves first; but never the Hawks, because the NBA is busted as hell and the Hawks suck lol.  But the vast majority of football americano fans probably don’t even consider the idea that Atlanta United just might do it first, and I get the impression that it would be as met in the same manner as the Washington Capitals did for DC; initial surprise, but then immediate bandwagon embracing as if the Caps held the entire fate of Washington on their shoulders, and not the Redskins, Nationals or Weezards.

Regardless, the very young Atlanta United club, two years removed from their introduction into MLS, are on the cusp of immortality, and have one more team to overcome to get there, the Portland Timbers.

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