Tag: food

$100k worth of noodles, 250 billion grams of sodium

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Pretty sure the container was more valuable than the cargo: truck containing allegedly $100,000 worth of ramen noodles stolen from rural Georgia gas station overnight parking

I know the article states that it was a semi-truck, but I have a hard time believing that something the size of a semi could actually contain $100k worth of ramen noodles.  Especially if they were actually like the cheap shit Maru-chan noodles that are like 10¢ a package, but the article doesn’t actually specify the brand of noodles taken.

Instead, I imagine that the only thing remotely capable of hauling $100k worth of ramen noodles would have to be one of those land train trucks that’s basically a semi hauling 3-4 cargo containers in succession, like the one in Fast & Furious 4 that Vin Diesel stole one of the tankers of gas from.  Maybe, only maybe, would a truck hauling four containers worth of ramen noodles actually amount to close to $100k.

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So savage, you have to respect the tactic

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A week ago, I got a horrible email in my inbox: Chick Fil-A was shutting the door on their wildly popular cow calendar promotion.  Citing after 20 years something something, I couldn’t really make out the rest from the rage that welled up behind my eyes but the point is, Chick Fil-A was ending their calendar, which meant no more monthly free shit ever again.

Obviously, a company like Chick Fil-A doesn’t become go-zillionaires without watching every single nickel and dime, and somewhere in some analytical study, it was deemed that the free shit given out every month on top of the sales of the calendars themselves, don’t really match up to the money is expected to come in as a result.  So regardless of how popular the calendars are, although everyone and their mother knows people only get them for the 12 months of free shit, they’re closing the door on the promotion.

But amidst the outrage caused by Chick Fil-A killing off their calendar, Bojangles swoops onto the stage to announce the launch of their calendar.  Except Bojangles’ calendar is free to join, completely digital, but still offers coupons of free or discounted shit.

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Eleven years later

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After the Texas Rangers hung five runs on the Colorado Rockies in the first inning, it seemed like the home team would prevail on my first trip to The Ballpark in Arlington, or whatever Globe Life corporate name that’s attached to it now.  However, the Rockies would proceed to answer back immediately scoring six-runs in the second inning to take the lead, and then tack on three more unanswered runs throughout the rest of the game, all while holding the Rangers to effectively a two-hitter the remainder of the way.

I suspect that my divine blessing by visit isn’t going to work this season, and that the Rangers probably won’t make the playoffs in spite of my well-documented history of personally ushering teams into the postseason.  Then again, at the time I’m writing this, the Rangers have won five in a row, and there’s a lot of season left to be played, so who really knows what’s going to happen?

Anyway, the point really is that with my trip to Texas and having seen a Texas Rangers game in their ballpark, I have effectively finished a life’s goal of visiting all 30 Major League Baseball ballparks.  Sure, since the time I started in 2007, several parks have closed and been replaced with ones that I’ve yet to visit, but for all intents and purposes, the goal was really to catch a home game at every team’s park, regardless of which it was when I visited.  I have successfully been to every team’s city, watched baseball, and often times, ate a fuckton of food along the way, sampling the local cuisines all across the country.

One of these days, I’ll have a baseball park site up again in some way shape or form, so I’m not going to straight up review Globe Life Park outright here, but I have to say that I’m very excited and left in a state of disbelief that I’m actually finished with the journey.  I mean, after 11 years, it felt like one of those things that never felt like it was ever going to end, despite there being a very finite number of 30 teams to visit, and that I was gradually chipping away at the remaining total.

Although it averages to like three parks a year, the fact of the matter is that my general fandom, despite still loving the game itself, I’ve just grown less gung-ho of feeling the necessity to be physically at games these days.  And it’s never been more evident in the fact that the last few parks have been some of the only games I’ve been to over the last few seasons, and I’ve literally hit Texas, Arizona and Cleveland solely in the span of the last three seasons.

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Photos: Globe Life Stadium, home of the Texas Rangers

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[2020 note]: this is unposted content back from 2018, of my trip to Dallas, Texas, to visit my brother, but also to knock out the last ballpark in my journey to visit every single MLB team.

It only took 11 years to accomplish, and by this time, my fandom was pretty unenthusiastic due to the Braves sucking all the enjoyment out of baseball over the last few years, but I wasn’t about to give up on a quest that was so close to being completed.

When I started, it was still called The Ballpark in Arlington, but as is often the case with modern baseball parks, corporate naming rights swoop in and take all character out of these venues, and Globe Life was no exception to the rule.  But for what it’s worth, it was a fine baseball establishment, nice scenics, good backdrops, and most importantly, a pretty epic $27 chicken sandwich, and I enjoyed my time there spent with my brother and his wife.

I think I made the right call by having this one be last in the journey.

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The very definition of social media being miserable

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Not news: man uses app to order Chick Fil-A

News: that man is Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter, and this occurrence happened to be in the midst of pride month

And because Chick Fil-A on the internet, is known first and foremost for hating the gays (despite it usually being known as one of the better fast food chains in actual human dialogue), the users of the CEO’s very own company that he runs, go full internet on him, meaning insufferable passive-aggressive shaming, finger pointing and being the keyboard tough guys so many turn into when they feel all safe and cozy behind the anonymity of the internet.

The CEO of Twitter getting obliterated by his very own platform, all because he wanted to enjoy some delicious chicken.  This epitomizes how miserable social media is, when a guy can’t be a little bit pleased with saving a little cash from use of technology, without the masses of keyboard warriors and the finger-pointing Chick Fil-A Watch scrambling to the tops of their soap boxes to shame and go way out of their way to publicly shame others.

And as I’ve said before, I would wager an ungodly amount of money that in spite of the holier-than-thou attitude so many people portray themselves on the internet, whether they’re gay, gay-supporting, or whatever, the people that love to act like they boycott and hate Chick Fil-A, still eat Chick Fil-A from time to time.  It’s just fucking food, and it’s okay to eat it, and surely without the necessity of the judgment of the internet.

Bottom line is that social media is garbage.  The analogy I keep going back to is that it’s like the whole world is connected to AOL at all times, and anyone can IM anyone at any time, with mostly useless nonsense, spam and negativity.  My weekend was kind of soured because of something I found out about over social media, and it’s put me in a mode where I don’t want to really look at it for a little while.  And I’m just some nobody in the world; I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for any sort of celebrities or actually important figures out there.  When the day is over though, I don’t really care.

Kind of want

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Despite the fact that I generally try to eat pretty clean the vast majority of the days of the year, every now and then I still cave into the temptation of absurdly ridiculous food monstrosities.  Fried Oreos, racks of ribs, Aporkalypses, Chinese buffets, Golden Corral, etc.  Sure, I certainly wouldn’t mind dropping 25-30 lbs., but at the same time, I’m not willing to go cold turkey on the good shit of the culinary world.

That said, I’m reading about Chili’s The Boss burger, and I’m just thinking to myself, “that doesn’t look half bad,” and “I can take this.”

Now I don’t have a jihad against chain restaurants like most of the people in the world who think they’re the anti-christ of commerce.  They exist, but often times pale in comparison to the better food available at the various local or independently owned restaurants that exist all around Atlanta.  But as far as chain restaurants go, I’m actually quite fond of Chili’s, even though I’ll probably be conscious to pay with cash the next time I ever go to one.  I think they have some of the better quality ribs available at a chain, and I can’t really recall the last time I was utterly unsatisfied by an experience there.

But with the emergence of The Boss, I can’t help but feel that my next excursion to a Chili’s is bound to happen sooner rather than later.  I don’t really care about the alleged 1,650 calories and lord only knows how much saturated fat in that burger, all I know is that it looks like an adversary that I can easily defeat and relegate into my digestive system, and I want to do it.

The Boss – we’re coming for you n–

I didn’t know they lasted this long

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Fun fact: my first ever job, as in real W-2 actual paycheck with taxes deducted from it job, was at a Bertucci’s, as a bus boy.  I had just gotten my license, so I was told to get a job immediately, and considering that I wanted money, I was more than willing to comply.  I applied just about everywhere, and Bertucci’s was the place that pretty much hired me first, so it was there did I get my feet wet in the official working world.

I learned about Friday dinner rushes, shitty management, asshole servers who lied about their tip reporting in order to short the tip out to the bussers, that dishwashing paid better than bussing and kept you away from the customers, and that in the food service industry it’s everyone versus management amid the patrons.

It was similar to Waiting… the film, long before the film ever came to fruition.  Despite the fact that I knew how often they lied on their tip declarations, thus screwing me out of my share of tips, I had a decent relationship with several of the servers, one of whom died while I was working there from a hard-living life of alcohol and obesity while not at work (he fell down some stairs to his death).  But we all hated the managers, Larry (the Fairy (he wasn’t gay (I think)), just kind of fruity) and the asshole assistant manager named Enio who blatantly tried to short peoples’ pay, probably stole tips, and was just generally a piece of shit, and it was through this unity that made work not suck all the time.

Either way, I worked there for three months, saving up money for Anime Expo 1998, and then the Sunday before I left for California, I got a frantic phone call from Larry the Fairy, demanding that I come in to work, despite not being on the schedule.  At the time, I was sharing a car with my sister, and she had it and was out, not to mention that I didn’t want to fucking work on a day I wasn’t scheduled for, so I explained that I had no car, and thus could not come in.  Larry the Fairy yelled that I needed to come in regardless and hung up on me, and I shrugged and sat back down at my computer and didn’t go in to work.

Two weeks later, I rolled into Bertucci’s for my Saturday shift, and didn’t see my name on the calendar, or any other future dates.  I asked Larry the Fairy what was up, and he brusquely told me that my no-showing my unscheduled demand to come to work was interpreted as my resignation from employment.  I kind of scrunched my brow, but remembered that working at Bertucci’s absolutely blew and just said “okay,” went into the office to get my last paycheck, and walked out without any shits left to give.

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