With all due respect to the Dream

I can’t get on board with the trophy for best defensive player of the year being named after anyone but Dikembe Mutombo. 

I love Hakeem Olajuwon, the man is an incredible champion, fantastic human being, and easily one of the greatest players of all time.  And although I’m a little surprised that the stats and numbers don’t support my argument, I think what it really boils down to is the fact that in terms of knee-jerk perception, when people think of legendary defenders, there’s no way Hakeem comes to mind before Dikembe Mutombo does.

I get the NBA’s decision and logic, Olajuwon made more All-Defensive teams than Dikembe did (9 vs. 6), averaged more blocks, had more total blocks, and was vastly the greater steals threat.  But the thing is, Hakeem Olajuwon was outstanding at pretty much everything in basketball, defense and offense.  For god’s sake, he’s one of the only guys in history to ever have a quadruple double.  If not for the existence of Michael Jordan, Hakeem Olajuwon would probably have more MVPs and more championships in his career, and the MVP trophy would’ve been named after him.

When you say the name “Hakeem Olajuwon,” probably the first thing that will come to anyone’s mind is him completely humiliating David Robinson in the 1995 playoffs.  Sure, Olajuwon was statistically the better defender than Mutombo was, but he was still a prolific scorer that was a tremendous offensive force that the Houston Rockets relied upon to carry the team.

But when you say the name “Dikembe Mutombo,” probably the first thing that comes to mind aside from the GEICO commercial, is the countless number of blocks he rejected throughout his illustrious career.  There was a best-of-five playoff series in 1994 where he blocked 31 shots in five games, which is complete insanity, and through his pure defense, his #8 seed Denver Nuggets upset the #1 Seattle Supersonics in one of the greatest upsets in the history of the game.

Mutombo wasn’t a terrible scorer, but it was never his priority to be the man on offense.  All the teams he’s been on have always had a primary scorer aside from him, because his job was always, defense. 

Dikembe Mutombo was defense.  And no disrespect to the Dream, who may have all of the better numbers, but when people think of defense, they’re probably not thinking of him first.  They’re thinking of the finger wagging, the swag, and the guy who built his entire career on being able to alter entire offenses just by being on the court.

I get why the NBA went with Hakeem, but I genuinely think they missed a great opportunity to really make a tsunami instead of a wave.  If it were the Dikembe Mutombo Defensive Player of the Year, the trophy could easily, easily have been a trophy of a hand wagging a finger like Mutombo used to do.  Doing so makes the trophy have swagger and a bit of edge, and players in the league might actually want to step it up defensively if they thought they could win some baller hardware.  Next thing you know, we’re back to the NBA of the 90s of 86-74 final scores, where any action inside the arc usually results in a block or a steal, resulting in all games becoming the glorified three-point shootouts they’ve evolved into anyway.

But all sports fan know the saying, defense wins championships.

Sports have too much fucking money, vol. 1,369: feat. the New York Mets

I’m not going to pretend like I pay a tremendous amount of attention to baseball news these days, but I know enough of what’s going on to know that the Mets are dumping a tremendous amount of money to try and become a championship contender.  I knew they already had Max Scherzer, and that they were paying him an inordinate amount of money for a guy that effectively plays once every five days, so it was somewhat head-scratching when I heard that the Mets went out and “won” the Justin Verlander sweepstakes, signing him to a 2-year, $86-million dollar contract, I’m thinking damn, the Mets are really locking up $86 mil a year on just two pitchers?  I’m pretty sure the Oakland A’s entire payroll next year isn’t $86 mil.*

*at the time I’m writing this, 11 teams don’t have a payroll that cracks $86 mil including of course, the Oakland A’s

Of course, on paper this has all the pundits thinking the Mets are now the odds-on favorite to win it all, seeing as how they have two of the game’s best pitchers, even if they’re going to be paying them an entire team’s payroll on top of the other 38 guys on the roster they’ll have to pay, including the $54 million to two other players in Francisco Lindor and the freshly re-signed Brandon Nimmo, so if we’re keeping count already, the Mets are paying $140 mil to just four guys for 2023 alone.

[Repeat the title of this post with me here]

They won 101 games in 2022 without Justin Verlander, and if not for an epic, late-season collapse against the Braves, should have won the division, but that still didn’t stop them from choking in the first round against the Padres.  Regardless, the addition of a talent like Justin Verlander theoretically should make a good team like the Mets even better in 2023.

Who knows, maybe the 2023 Mets, in spite of the criticism of their historic $300M+ protected opening day payroll will win 102 games, win the division and avoid having to play in the wild card round and actually have a successful playoff run?

But who are we kidding, this is the New York Mets we’re talking about, they of the LOLMets meme of history.  They could have Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, Clayton Kershaw, Nolan Ryan and Sandy Koufax as their starting five, and they’d still probably find a way to fuck things up and fail, as they always do.  They could spend $500 million dollars and have 4+ WAR players in every position in their lineup, but they’ll still find a way to shit the bed in the playoffs and get bounced by the Cardinals or Padres or Phillies.

And the biggest thing is that teaming Verlander and Scherzer up is no guarantee, because as many casual baseball fans probably might not be aware of, this has already happened before, as both of them were on the Detroit Tigers together between 2010 and 2014.  Five years of Verlander and Scherzer in the same rotation, and zero World Series rings to show for it.  They even had help from guys like David Price and a resurgent Anibal Sanchez in some of those years.  Sure, they made the playoffs four times, but the one time they made it to the World Series together in 2012, they got swept by the vastly less-talented Giants, getting victimized by guys like Pablo Sandoval and Marco Scutaro.

What I think is funny is how just about everyone the Tigers once had all achieved success outside of Detroit.  Max Scherzer got his ring with the Nationals in 2018, Justin Verlander won twice with the Astros in 2017 and this past year, and even David Price got a ring in Boston and Anibal Sanchez was also lights out for that 2018 Nationals playoff team.

So the point is, if a young and spry Scherzer and Verlander couldn’t get the job done ten years ago, Father Time is kind of betting against 40-year old versions of Scherzer and Verlander doing it, especially when they’ll be trying on a team as accursed as the New York Mets.

If me writing about it is a temptation of fate and I end up being completely wrong, hey I’ll be glad to revisit this if I notice and care in the future and admit being wrong, no shame in that.  But if I’m a betting man, I’m siding with Father Time, and going to take the bet against the Mets.  I know you have to spend money to make money, but, and I hate to sound all corporate Braves-ey, but allocating as much money that the Mets are to just two and four players just doesn’t sound what’s best for business.

Well, that was not unexpected

Saw that coming: Brazil trounces Korea 4-1, eliminating them from the round of 16

I’m not mad, just disappointed.  Nominally.  I actually had predicted the score would’ve been 5-1, with Korea’s one goal being some garbage time pity goal in the 92nd minute.  Not out of pessimism, but a realistic guess based on the fact that Brazil is in a class way above Korea, and the friendly they played back in June ended in a similar score, I saw no reason why it would be any different during the World Cup.

They weren’t playing a Portugal squad who had already secured their position and really had no reason to play their best.  They weren’t playing a squad with a bitch of Ronaldo in body protect mode and being more of a liability than a threat.  They were playing fucking Brazil, a country routinely ranked 1st or among the top four countries in FIFA rankings, like all the time.

To me, a monumental win would’ve been if Korea could’ve held Brazil to a 0-0 by half, but in reality it only six minutes before Brazil got on the board, and two minutes later, Neymar was notching a PK for a 2-0 score that basically ended the game after it barely started.

The real question was just how much gas was Brazil going to put on the rout?  Having won the game in 15 minutes, there was little reason for them to really risk Neymar or any of their starters.  But unsurprisingly the topic came up in numerous forums of the complete humiliation Brazil endured in 2014 against Germany, losing 7-1, and taking their history out on Korea seemed like a very realistic possibility, and it looked like my 5-1 score might become a reality.

Fortunately, Korea played with integrity and played out the rest of the game cleanly, not fouling like crazy, while still trying hard, forcing Brazil’s goalkeeper Alisson to really work, deflecting numerous shots.  And when Paik Seung-ho crushed his 30 yard smash into the net, that was good enough for me, to be satisfied with the result.  At least we went down fighting and didn’t get shut out, and this goal was most definitely no charity, lazy backup GK goal, it was a screamer and it was earned.

Ffrom what my amateur eyes witnessed, Brazil’s in a class of its own with their touch, as in the ability to so perfectly tap the most intricate light passes in between defenders to get them into prime scoring position.  Son Heung-min is really the only guy on the Korean team with a similar ability, and it’s that finesse that basically won the game against Portugal with his perfect, between-the-legs pass to Hwang Hee-chon before he kicked the game winner.

Like I said, I’m not surprised or mad about the result, but it’s always a little disappointing to see your teams lose no matter the circumstances.  The reality is still that Korea already had a tremendously fine showing in the World Cup that shouldn’t have been in Qatar, by notching a memorable win against Portugal and advancing out of groups.  Those alone are huge achievements for a country oft-ranked among the lower quartile of World Cup teams historically, and no matter the result of the Brazil game, I’m so fucking proud of Korea’s World Cup run, and we’ll always have the fine memories of the win against Portugal.

O PILSUNG COREA MOTHERFUCKERS

On this date, December 2, 2022

South Korea 2, Portugal 1

As much as I enjoy the World Cup, I didn’t have any grand expectations as far as the Motherland’s chances were.  This isn’t eSports or Little League baseball, so my hopes for Korea’s participation in the World Cup is usually along the lines of hoping they don’t embarrass themselves, and be the worst team to get sent packing in the first round.

Thanks to the Qatar that didn’t belong there in the first place, and Canada whom I didn’t even know even played futbol in the first place, that’s not going to happen.  Undoubtedly, the team that brings the most dishonor to the World Cup is undoubtedly Germany, whom once again was bounced in groups for the second straight World Cup, with 2014 looking like a historical event from the present.

But not only did Korea not embarrass themselves on the global stage, they didn’t get bounced in groups.  With their incredible 2-1 victory over Portugal, they advance out of groups and into the elimination round of 16, where Brazil awaits, to which that’ll be its own tragedy in its own right, but at least I can have the memories of this day where Korea, once again finishes groups on a high note after starting slow with a draw and a loss in their prior two matches.

I kind of had this hope that Korea could beat Portugal on the logic that with two wins already, and advancement already locked in, the Portuguese really didn’t have to play that hard, and would change things up and play backups, in order to save their stars.  France and Spain paid a similar price, dropping their third matches, and I was hoping that Portugal would join them.

Continue reading “O PILSUNG COREA MOTHERFUCKERS”

Re: Argentina vs. Saudi Arabia

I’m pretty sure these guys were the officiating crew in Lusail this morning.

Obviously, I didn’t watch because fuck getting up at 5 a.m. to watch a game I have no interest in, but I was curious enough to check the score while I was preparing the girls’ breakfast, because frankly I thought Argentina was a strong contender to win it all.  Lo and behold, the crooked number was next to Saudi Arabia, and I’m just like wtf?

Naturally, the red flags start popping up in my head, because on paper there was absolutely no way in hell’s hell that Saudi Arabia should have any business defeating Argentina, much less competing with them in the first place.  But being in Qatar, the Islamaphobic conspiracy is that the royal family or something must clearly be paying off the refs or something in order to buy wins for the Saudis.  Sure, they still had to get the ball into the net a few times to equalize the great Messi and then take the lead, but some outside interference could help with that.

The game summary was especially interesting, because after the Saudis took the lead early in the second half, the six yellow cards that were issued to them throughout the rest of the game clearly says that they were not being shy about physically defending their side of the field, and took it too far multiple times.  The ten offside penalties by Argentina probably says they were pressing, and bad officiating will call offsides if someone farts on the pitch.

My favorite though is the fact that Saudi Arabia only took two shots on goal, and they both happened to go in.  That truly is some Game Genie-like luck and accuracy, that I’m hard pressed to believe that even the greatest teams in futbol history have ever achieved.

Regardless of all the skepticism and bad jokes, the reality is that Argentina still shit the bed and suffered probably one of the most humiliating upsets in World Cup history.  Whether they were completely looking beyond the team in front of them, or maybe some of their 900 kilos of imported meat to circumvent Islamic restrictions went bad on them, but the fact of the matter is that no matter the interference and impartiality of the officiating, they still let a tremendously inferior team get the ball into the back of their net twice.  

They’re in one of the weaker groups, and on paper, should by any right still make it out, but they’ve got no more breathing room at this point, but historically some powerhouse always gets owned in groups, and based on this clown car performance, it might just be Argentina, regardless of they were tampered with or not.

The Qatar World Cup is going to be not great-great

It’s not that I’m an Islamaphobe, it’s just that I happen to disagree with a lot of their cultural customs, and when it comes to things I’m interested in, I tend to be disenchanted with whenever an Islamic country hosts things, but imparts their, what I think are archaic and frighteningly draconian, rules and customs onto them.

I have little interest in whenever the WWE runs events in Saudi Arabia, regardless of the egregious amounts of money that clearly sways them, and I can say that I have fairly similar opinions about the World Cup being held in Qatar, right fucking now, instead of the usual summer in which most World Cups tend to be played.  The difference is, professional wrestling is still fairly niche and there are way less people interested in the industry than they are about futbol, and the whole every-four years aspect about the World Cup makes it harder for me to ignore regardless of my disagreement about Qatar.

There’s no doubt in my mind that there’s a yacht full of money somewhere involved to where FIFA agreed to have it in Qatar, but what has been ironically entertaining is the sheer amount of disdain and expectations of utter failure and ownage that the event as a whole is being scrutinized over, and after day 1 of the World Cup, it appears that the watching world is in for a great ride in the sense that it might just be a brilliant shitshow.

Obviously, Qatar really has no business being in the World Cup, only being allowed to play by virtue of an archaic rule that gives the host nation a spot in a group, and it was no more evident when they became the first host team in World Cup history to ever lose their opening game.  Now I’m not the biggest futbol enthusiast in the world, but I thought there was a constantly missing “in X amount of years” because the World Cup has been going on for a long time, and even if it’s every four years, surely in some point in time a host country had to have lost at some point, especially since the United States hosted in 1994.  But no, it really has been a 92-year streak where the host nation, has never lost their first match; sure, there’ve been some draws, but still no losses.

Until Qatar, who was basically de-pantsed in 15 minutes, allowing Ecuador to score twice, and basically never challenge them for the remaining 80 minutes of the game.  Every opinion that Qatar didn’t belong was validated, and frankly, I’m looking forward to their next two matches, and hoping they don’t score a single fucking goal, which is a very viable possibility.  They may never even have a single target shot on goal.

Amusingly, it seemed like the refs might actually be as unimpressed and disenchanted with being in Qatar as most peoples’ opinions are; I figured they would have all been bought off, like most host nations tend to do with the refs, and Qatar was going to win the match.  But be it Qatar’s lack of skill, the refs ambivalence of being there, or whatever circumstance, Qatar players were getting nailed with fouls and yellow cards at an alarming clip, and I before I sat down to start watching, I knew the narrative already.

But the best part was undoubtedly the seas of empty seats throughout the arena, and the cameras catching locals leaving the game while it was still going on.  Much has been made about, how being in an Islamic country means no alcohol at the stadium (unless you’re a VIP in a VIP lounge apparently), as well as the reported attempts to basically buy influencers to pretend like they were having a great time, but once the matches begin, Qatar gon’ Qatar, and fans who can’t have a good time are going to bounce, and clearly Qatari fans are pretty fairweather, and don’t want to stick around if their team is getting trounced.

Either way, it’s only been a single day, but I have to say that the Qatar World Cup has delivered on its fuck-uppery in an entertaining way so far, and I’m kind of looking forward to seeing what ironic bullshit is going to emerge in the coming weeks of play.  Also, I’m looking forward to being able to make the obvious dad joke on Thanksgiving about how I’m going to watch futbol instead of football americano, because again, of Qatar’s bullshit demands, we have World Cup over Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving Day just so happens to be the day in which Korea has their first match where they’ll probably get trounced by Uruguay but I’m obviously still going to watch because O Pilsung Corea motherfuckers

I will never not enjoy seeing Tennessee lose

ICYMI: South Carolina defeats #5 Tennessee, 63-38

Man, this game is proof of the power of sports.  I had a pretty rough day, having to be on double duty all morning with the kids, and while they were down for their afternoon nap, I took my wife to the airport, and got obliterated on the way home in traffic, enraging me to thinking Thanos had a good idea, and how lucky the 2% of people who vanished in The Leftovers must’ve been to have been on a version of Earth without 98% of the population.

All I wanted was for the kids to go to sleep without too much warfare, and perhaps have a quiet evening where I could veg out and watch more television from my listed queue.  Instead, I caught wind that unranked South Carolina had hung 21 points on overrated #5 Tennessee, and I was like hmmmmmm and decided to watch, and hope for the upset; seeing as how my interest in South Carolina is merely in-law, but an opportunity to see Tennessee lose made it feel like it was kind of a no-lose situation for me.

Three hours later, my mood is uplifted, and the aggravations of the day earlier are melted away as ESPN cameras begin monitoring the crowding of the students section of Williams-Brice Stadium, after the inevitable upset is complete.

Seeing Tennessee get obliterated, and effectively dashing any remaining hope for playoff contention is the real win here.  Hendon Hooker demonstrated that his mediocre tenure at Virginia Tech was not the fluke, but his performance for Tennessee was, playing way over his head for an equally overrated and ballyhooed program as the Volunteers are in the SEC as Tech often had been in the ACC.  Instead of blowing out the unranked Gamecocks and making a case to leapfrog the Horned Frogs who needed a last-second field goal to beat Baylor, Tennessee will undoubtedly drop out of the top-10 outright and might not even get a New Years Six bowl.

South Carolina winning, and it pleasing my in-laws is merely the cherry on top. 

Spencer Rattler, oft-being labeled a bust after his much-hyped transfer from Oklahoma exploded on Tennessee like Soldier Boy from The Boys, throwing a double hat-trick of touchdowns that even Al Bundy would have to scrunch his eyes and tilt his head over.  If he performs similarly next week and the Gamecocks can upset Clemson, it’ll have to be one of the more legendary finishes to an otherwise adequate season.

But what a game though, really.  Who doesn’t love a good upset, regardless of the loose skin I might’ve had in the game?  Sure, I don’t like Tennessee and I am not a fan of turncoat Hendon Hooker.  But my in-laws are all South Carolina fans, and I like Shane Beamer being the son of Frank Beamer, and it was a treat to see that ol’ Frank was there to revel in this win. 

Speaking of Frank, it was also nice to see that Virginia Tech didn’t lose eight in a row.  Hard to believe a win against Liberty would be considered such a massive upset, but it also equalizes when they upset the Hokies in Blacksburg just a few years ago.

It was touching to see that both teams, and as I realized, all across the CFB landscape were wearing UVA stickers on their helmets to show solidarity and honor the victims of the senseless deaths and gun violence from earlier in the week.  Regardless of my personal team allegiances, nobody ever likes to hear of anything like that, and it seems pretty unprecedented that it hit multiple, active, student-athletes, whom people literally saw on television just days prior.

All in all though, this was a good example of just how effective sports can be, at being able to make a difference in the lives of people.  For me, it was a great catalyst to improve my day, for some, it’s a reminder of strength, solidarity and mourning, and for many in South Carolina, this is probably one of the better days of peoples’ lives.  Yeaahhhh sportsball

And as the subject says, I will never not enjoy seeing Tennessee lose.  Even when they’re back to being the middle-of-the-pack SEC East program they are, or when they’re having shitty years, but it’s even better when they’re completely overrated, and brought back crashing to reality.