Tag: wrestling

A fate worse than death

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few months, among the few things that I still do pay attention to outside of my own little world, professional wrestling is still there.  Normally, I’d cite sources or link to the things that inspire my writing, but frankly the brog’s sense of time is pretty warped as it is, and my zero readers will have to take my word on the things that I’m talking or referring to.

But long story short, over the last few months the WWE has been firing an alarming amount of talent and personnel, AEW has been more than happy to pick up the crème of the crop, and there’s all sorts of panic and wild rumors flying around scuttlebutt and I’m taken back to 1999 when I wish wrestling chatter on the internet could all collectively stfu because it’s kind of ruining everything when everyone’s so astute to backstage happening.

Among the fallout, Triple H, whom most are aware is the head cheese when it comes to anything NXT-related, has been given the lion’s share of the blame when it comes to the fate of the short-lived Wednesday Night War, when an arriving AEW was met by a nationally-televised NXT.  After about a year and amidst a pandemic, NXT decided to move to Tuesdays, in a move widely seen as hoisting a white flag and surrendering.

And supposedly, Triple H is the fall guy in this scenario, and as a result of it, regardless of the corporat-ese used to describe it, has been basically demoted and alleviated of the reigns of NXT.  Vince McMahon and one of his lifer-stooges, Bruce Pritchard will take over the production of the show, which basically means that NXT is going to be run a lot like RAW and Smackdown, which for the better part of the last 2-3 years has been the very definition of mediocre and hardly watchable.

Needless to say, this is basically a fate worse than death for NXT, which is restructuring under new management, naturally accompanied by, a rebranding, complete with new and questionably horrid logo.

A long time ago, I read some adage about how fewer things attempt to smokescreen mediocrity more than a rebranding, and from the looks of things, this is going to be a textbook instance of something once good, headed down a very slippery slope, with the rebranding and restructuring of NXT.

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Thanks, I hate it

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I like baseball.  I like wrestling belts.  You’d think a collaboration between the WWE and MLB to release team-themed replica wrestling belts would be a layup for a guy like me, right?

If you think so, you couldn’t be any more fucking wrong.

An obvious cash-grab for starters, but all I see when I think about the fact that there are going to be 20-30* belts that will be put into production starting in the 2022 season, all I see are 20-30 blets that stand in the way of the WWE getting off their lazy asses and actually making replicas of the only fucking WWE blet I want left, the NXT UK Tag Team Championship.

*why anyone would want a replica belt for teams like the Rays, Rockies, Reds, Marlins or Orioles is completely beyond me, but homers are homers for a reason

For the record, I don’t just hate these MLB-WWE collab belts, I hate every other belt out there that’s not an actual active or historic belt.  I hate all the shitty tribute belts that WWE makes that takes existing plates and slaps them onto some overly-designed shitty straps themed to a hall of famer, and calling it a tribute.  I hate Xavier Woods’ and Tyler Breeze’s shitty YouTube show belts that have come into existence ahead of the only active fucking belt without a replica available.  I hate when they take some shitty stinky brown leather and wrap it around an Attitude-era World championship and call it a Mankind tribute.

But both MLB and the WWE really like money, and it really is low-hanging fruit to make these and watch them sell a justifiable number of them to warrant the decision to produce them.  I can’t hate on the business of it, I just hate that these things are definitely going to stand in the way of what I actually want.

And frankly, given the news over the last months of NXT kind of being rumored to being shifted back into a true developmental territory, who’s to say that any of the NXT and NXT UK blets will even get to be sold for much longer in the future, especially if they’re deactivated and removed from television.

Only hardcore blet-heads like myself may have noticed that for about four days, the WWEShop released the NXT Women’s Tag Team Championship Replicas that’s still listed as available in the Euro store, but was already taken down from the American site, which initially had me curious that they took it down in order to have a brand new blet available at promotional discount, but seeing as how it hasn’t been brought back, it makes me wonder if it’s more the possibility that the blets will be deactivated on television, and therefore not needing replicas to be sold online.

As far as the NXT UK Tag blets, I’m beginning to think that they’ll never even be made in the first place, because perhaps the division as a whole might get folded up, if the talking heads surrounding Vince McMahon in Stamford see them as a risky ROI.

At least I’ll have an Atlanta Barves blet available to me with the cash I’ve been sitting on for literal years, waiting for the one blet I actually wanted.

What if… Tim Tebow, the professional wrestler?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The other day, my bros and I were bullshitting about professional wrestling as is often times the norm, and the thought crossed my mind that AEW is low-key owned by the Jacksonville Jaguars, since owner Tony Khan is the son of the Shahid Khan that owns the Jags. 

Recently, I saw some blurb about how despite having signed with the Jaguars, the attempting-to-return-to-football Tim Tebow is no guarantee to make the team, even though he’s still built like a tank and trying to come back as a tight end and not a quarterback, and then the wheels got turning in my brain to do so fantasy booking in the event that Tebow flames out of football again, but instead of trying to pursue professional baseball, chooses professional wrestling instead.  Especially since there’s already a convenient transition from the Jags to AEW, being under the same family umbrella and all.

After about five minutes of bullshit, I realized that this hypothetical bullshit would be better served as brog material and not a passing conversation in private company, because some of these ideas would be fucking gold in an ironic sense if they were to come to fruition, even though there can hardly be fewer things in the world nerdier than fantasy booking professional wrestling.

Anyway, Tim Tebow is cut from the Jags, not for anything performance-related so much as is it that the Jags are an NFL team and NFL teams are more afraid than Gabriel is in The Walking Dead of anything and don’t want Tebow’s faith to ever be mentioned in the same breath as them.  He’s in the locker room, silently crying, cleaning out his personal effects, and our character arc begins with Tim saving a cross that he hung, for last, staring at it wistfully, thinking to himself why the good lord has failed to give him the strength he needed to make it back to the NFL.

Tony Khan enters the locker room, and gives Tebow some fluff about how he performed great, and how his failure to make the team had nothing to do with his talent.  But seeing as how he wasn’t going to make the team, and to not let such physical gifts go to waste, he offers Tebow an opportunity to join All Elite Wrestling, so he could still potentially have a platform to spread the word.

“Professional wrestling?” thinks Tebow.  The fake sport with fake storylines, so much of which is debaucherous, scandalous, and frequently sacrilegious?  Khan assures Tebow that AEW is different than those whom might have put out such unsavory product, and points no further than AEW’s own TNT Champion, Miro, God’s Favorite Wrestler, as proof of AEW’s respect and commitment to Christianity.  Tebow is intrigued, and agrees to a developmental tier-1 deal.

Continue reading “What if… Tim Tebow, the professional wrestler?” →

About AEW’s replica blet…

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m not entirely sure how I ended up on ShopAEW’s distribution list, as I have never purchased anything from them, or ProWrestlingTees.com at any point in my life, but for whatever reason, I still get their periodic emails.  It’s hasn’t really been a nuisance yet, and as much as I clown on them as a promotion, I do think that they still produce some decent merch from time to time, 75% of it being for Britt Baker.  And I figured if the company were ever to eventually release replica title blets, this would probably be the most accurate source to get information about them.

Well, that time finally came, and I saw an email titled “AEW World Championship Replica Title” and my interest was immediately piqued.  Honestly, I’m not that big on their world title; if I had my pick on any of the actual AEW blets available, it would be a Tag Team blet, and since Miro became TNT Champion, it’s slowly softened my opinion on what I originally designated a Popeyes Blet.  But as a collector of replica blets in the first place, I still wanted to see what was going, in case there was an appealing price point that could change my mind.

$699.  Six hundred, ninety-nine dollars. 

For a replica blet.

My knee-jerk reaction is definitely, yeah fuck no

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shitting on this blet because it’s AEW and I know I’ve been quick to shit on them for all the dumb things they’ve done so far.  I’m not shitting on this blet because of its seemingly high price tag; frankly, this isn’t the most expensive blet out there.

I’m shitting on this blet because it has a high price tag for what they’re not going into any real detail about.  I even watched the video of it in case there was some more clarification on what materials they’re using and the quality of the metal, but it’s instead just more fluff from Pentagon’s valet/AEW’s Spanish language announcer, Alex Abrahantes.

New Japan sold official replicas of IWGP belts, which ranged from $2,080 to $1,800; but they’re clear that they’re using 18-karat gold, and the craftsmanship is very Japanese exquisite.

Even WWE sells more expensive blets, like their deluxe line, which justifies the cost by using real leather, and then they have nearly $2,000 elite replicas which are basically actual, television-ready replicas that are made from 10-karat gold and cubic zirconia stones.

However, WWE also sells all sorts of “more affordable” replica blets, usually not exceeding $399, and are always going on 20-30% off sale, and that’s the bread and butter in which I like to throw my money away at.

The fact that AEW comes out of the gate with a $700 blet doesn’t particularly seem like a great idea, but that’s just me.  Especially if there’s zero information on why it costs that much, other than “simulated jewels.”  I know I’m one to speak seeing as how I have literally 20 replica blets, but not one of them has exceeded $349, and nobody’s ever looked at a blet of mine to try and validate its authenticity.

But as someone who’s literally purchased blets before solely because the price point was appealing, if AEW really wanted to move a lot of blets, having more cost-effective alternatives to their $700 coup de grace would probably result in more profit which ultimately should be the goal of any self-respecting retailer.  It boggles my mind how many examples of people and companies who raked in millions selling a whole lot of cheaper, that there are so many out there that still think selling a lot less of really expensive, is a viable business model.

I know the blet industry is about as niche as they come, but if AEW, WWE and NJPW want to actually compete with Pakistanis making bootlegs in caves out of scraps, they all need to rethink their strategies and start releasing some more cost-effective alternatives and an NXT UK Tag Team replica.

Cen-owned

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

lol’d – John Cena calls Taiwan a country, gets massive backlash from China, apologizes, then gets heat from the industry that made him

I don’t really have an opinion on the whole is Taiwan a country thing, and frankly I don’t really want to.  I have no horse in this race, and I have friends and acquaintances that are both Chinese and Taiwanese, and it’s really none of my business to what my opinion might be.

But what prompted this post is that throughout his wrestling career, John Cena has been something of this stoic, unflappable icon, that in spite of the internet’s general disdain for him, has been somewhat of a maestro at navigating through time, shifts in fandom and I have a tremendous amount of respect for everything that he’s accomplished.  Scuttlebutt may disagree, but I feel that he’s aged extremely well and has gracefully transitioned from wrestling into movies almost as well as the Rock did.

It’s safe to say that John Cena has kind of transcended into something of a brand throughout the years, based on how methodical and clinical he’s conducted himself throughout his wrestling careers and his transition into Hollywood.  Look no further than his time on Total Divas to realize that nobody was a bigger diva than John Cena; he’s such a company of a man that he basically has the equivalent of a pre-nup for a live-in girlfriend.

So in the whole adage of as much as people love heroes, they love see heroes fail, it’s noteworthy and hilarious to me, that of all the things in world that could possibly trip up a machine like John Cena, it would be a subjective opinion on China that would land him in global, public hot water.

Honestly, regardless of the cringey, pandering and embarrassing apology to all Chinese people, a Fruedian slip-like blurting out of a statement like calling Taiwan a country is clearly what he believes, and there’s nothing wrong with that – it’s an opinion, and we’re all entitled to them, no matter how much criticism they’re subject to.

Frankly, I’m more disappointed in Cena’s response to the whole Chinese backlash, because contrary to the hustle-loyalty-respect brand he built himself on throughout wrestling, he kowtowed and crumpled like a burning piece of paper when it came to upsetting an entire country and very obviously at the behest of a Hollywood studio, he tucked his tail between his muscular legs and made a pretty immediate apology.

He, and the studio could’ve sent a powerful message to the world by digging in and standing their ground, but because the Chinese economy is basically the strongest in the world, they couldn’t possibly risk upsetting them and their coffers, so they showed their hand at what they prioritized above all hustle, loyalty or respect.

In the end, John Cena has basically jobbed three times in a row, which is probably a new record and something he didn’t even do, even in the post-Ruthless Aggression era.  He jobbed to China by looking like a bitch kowtowing to them, which makes him job to the wrestling industry that made him, because his peers now reportedly have heat with him for being a bitch, and of course, he’s jobbed to himself, because this course of action is most definitely something that the John Cena brand really wouldn’t be doing, if not for the tainted influence of Hollywood money.

lol AEW but also QQ for Miro

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Man, my post about how I was finally happy with something AEW did didn’t even get to be pushed off of the front page before AEW had to go do something that basically devalues it pretty much entirely.  Barely a week later, Turner Broadcasting announces that AEW’s flagship show, Dynamite, is going to be moved from TNT to TBS.

Something or other about how Turner secured the television rights to broadcast the NHL, and that they wanted to use TNT to broadcast their games, which would have to force a live program with a static timeslot onto another network as not to force it to have to flex on a whim in accordance to the hockey schedules.  And of course AEW has other “shows” like the internet-only Dark and Elevation programs that I’ve never watched a single episode of, and supposedly another program coming in the near future, but make no mistake, Dynamite is the flagship, and when the flagship is moved, we are saying that AEW is being moved outright.

Initially, I laughed heartily at this news, because it kind of validates all of the passive swiping and criticism of the promotion as a whole, since they don’t have the clout or justification to be cemented on TNT and force other programs to flex around them, validating them as the network sidepiece or flavor of the month that I pegged them as, and that for all the big talk and paper accolades they tout, they’re still getting bullied around like a minor league racket.

But then my next train of thought was obviously the TNT Championship, which was recently won by Miro whom I’ve been high on for years, and how suddenly sad I am for him that after finally beginning to rise back up to the success I always knew he could be, he’s immediately now the sucker holding the belt that has a literal clock above its own relevance, seeing as how the tentative plan is to move AEW off of TNT in 2022.

It doesn’t even matter how much prestige Miro can bring to the belt with a lengthy reign, multiple defenses and quality work, because it has that stupid TNT logo on it, representing a network that doesn’t even want them on it.  Frankly, it doesn’t matter if they redesign the blet (again, which would be #4) to not have a company logo on it, or rename it outright in preparation for the network switch, it’s still going to have the stink of the silliness brought onto it because AEW can’t seem to get their shit together to make some appropriate decisions for their promotion that don’t have time-sensitive repercussions.

Naturally the big question is what’s going to happen next to the TNT Championship: will it just be updated to not have the TNT network logo on it?  Does it become the TBS Championship?  Does AEW unveil a TBS Championship and crown a champion, to then have a unification match with the TNT champion?  Or does AEW grow a fucking brain and turn it into a Television or United States championship and not associate it to a fucking television network before AEW gets moved onto TruTV or Turner Classic Movies?

Hopefully, Miro can come out of these three football fields of shit not too worse for wear, because I’m sad for him that he has to be the unfortunate soul to have to carry the Popeye’s title across the bridge of uncertainty.  I’d rather have seen Darby Allin be the guy to have to do it, but writing it out, maybe it was a plan all along, considering AEW’s puzzling protection over Allin’s character, so may as well have one of those former WWE guys do the heavy lifting instead?

Regardless, this is all just one big amalgamation of failure, and no matter how much spin Tony Khan, the Elite circle jerk, TNT, TBS or Turner executives can apply to this whole situation, it will always conclude with AEW looking dumb and weak, and tied down to that secondary tier that doesn’t put it anywhere in the stratosphere with competing with the WWE, no matter how much they pretend like they’re not trying to compete with them.

Not to further toot my own horn, I did write about the perils of naming a belt after the network it was on, in the event of this exact scenario, but here we are: AEW is being forced off of TNT, and now the TNT Championship is basically meaningless. 

Happy trails, New Jack

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

To be perfectly honest, the news of New Jack’s passing didn’t really impact me beyond the unfortunate feeling that at just 58-years old, he probably left a lot of life on the table when he decided to check out.  I can’t say that I was really that big of a fan of his ever, and I was a fan of ECW during their heyday when he was a member of the Gangstas and all his rando team-ups with Spike Dudley and John Kronus.

All the same, I still felt like writing out some words on account his passing, because I’m still a wrestling fan, and I do have memories of New Jack myself.

Honestly, I actually remember New Jack doing the job more often than not, especially towards the last few years of ECW.  Granted, he would always remain “strong” in terms of optics and perception, because along with his trashcans of weapons he’d always bring to the ring, he would punish and beat the fuck out of his opponents for 12 minutes before he’d inevitably overextend the beatdown by going up high, and after whatever dive, fall or slam off of often times, multiple stories, he would be just as in a position to lose the “match” as his opponents were, and he did, a lot.

Towards the end of ECW, I remember him in many matches often opposing the Dudley Boyz, and those were some savage, brutal affairs, where most spectators whether they were wrestling fans or not, would often bring up the “well, that’s got to be real” comments when New Jack was snapping crutches and other objects on the backs and heads of his opposition.  Frankly, the finishes to these matches were probably the safest parts, when the inevitable 3D through a table probably felt like jumping on the bed versus having a 230 lb. man dropping on you from above, since one of the staples of every New Jack match was an insane dive or fall.

I bet there were some intense rock-paper-scissors or straws drawn to decide who got to have Spike Dudley drop on them versus New Jack.

Above all else though, if there was one core, key element that New Jack brought to the table, and in my opinion, the thing that will truly be lost with his passing, was the sheer element of insane-terror-fear that he brought into whatever room or arena he walked into.  Make no mistake, New Jack was one of the most terrifying and intimidating performers of an entire generation.

As much as guys like Haku brought an air of toughness, the Undertaker commanded respect, New Jack brought an air of homicide with him that the people he worked with might actually have been fearful for their lives when they knew that they had to work with him.  Guys like Jack Victory and of course, nobody can talk about New Jack without mentioning The Mass Transit Incident where he basically almost killed a minor who had lied about his age to get in the ring could attest to the sheer brutality that lay in store when working with New Jack if he just felt like it, it must literally have felt like Russian Roulette when stepping into the ring with New Jack.

Although I can’t say that I was particularly a fan of his, or the hardcore style in general, it would be inaccurate to say that New Jack wasn’t a legend in his own right.  The whole package of the brutal, hardcore punishment he brought to every match the Natural Born Killaz track that played continuously throughout all his matches, and the sheer violence and shock value he brought are things that simply cannot be emulated or recreated in this day and age, and it’s probably for the best.

Regardless, happy trails to Jerome Young, AKA New Jack, and respect for the wild and crazy shit he brought to the industry while he was in it.