Kenny Omega and a tale of two feds

I was watching AEW Dynamite the other night, Kenny Omega is cutting a promo, and I’m sitting there with scrunched eyebrows and wondering why all the smarks on the internet think that this guys is wrestling Jesus?  There’s no denying that when he’s in the ring he’s capable of god-like performances, but when he’s on the mic, he’s actually really quite cringe-worthy to listen to.

There’s a very obvious reason why he’s been paired up with “Cyrus the Virus” Don Callis, so that he can be the mouthpiece that Omega clearly desperately needs.

Back a few years ago, I remember hearing rumblings from wrestling scuttlebutt about this match that just happened in New Japan that was legendary status.  I’d heard Kenny Omega’s name in passing a few times and I’ve obviously heard of Bullet Club, but I didn’t really follow NJPW much then so I knew nothing about him really.  But based on just how much buzz Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada was getting, I became curious.  It started with a few highlight packages on YouTube which were pretty good, and then I found a video of the entire match, and I remember my eyes bugging out seeing the preceding 1: ahead of the time; an hour long match, really??

I watched the whole thing, and it wasn’t difficult to do at all.  Omega and Okada really did put together a legendary match, and one that could very well stand the test of time, and be mentioned in the same breath as legendary clinics like Flair/Steamboat or Steamboat/Savage.  It broke the rubric of famed wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer’s rating system, and it was understandable why.

It served as inspiration to me to want a replica of the IWGP World Championship, despite the fact that NJPW doesn’t sell more than 1,000 copies a year, so I knowingly purchased a Pakistani knockoff, because I just wanted one for my collection based on how good Omega/Okada was.

The thing is, Kenny Omega’s general popularity was built on the reputation of a handful of matches with Okada, and his body of work in NJPW, specifically as the Bullet Club “The Cleaner” persona.  I’m sure there are superfans out there that cite his pre-Bullet Club otaku gimmicks, and when he was wrestling blow-up dolls for DDT and other wacky shit he did, but for the most part, it’s safe to say Bullet Club and the series against Okada is what put Omega on the map.

I’ve made no secret to how critical I am towards AEW, and how I think it’s really a fed geared towards smarks.  And because of this, Omega will always be safe from irrelevance there, but I can’t believe that anyone can be objective about the idea of him being able to become popular from scratch, to American audiences who don’t have any inkling of idea who he was prior to AEW.

Because I have to imagine that anyone who doesn’t know who Kenny Omega was in Japan would probably think AEW Kenny Omega is kind of lame as shit.  The lifting of gimmicks from (now) old video games, the shotgun hand pointing, the Terminator crouch before diving out of the ring, the “you can’t escape” spot; these are all kind of lame for American audiences, but were all things he could get away with in Japan, because he’s a fascinating foreigner to Japanese fans.  And the fact that he hasn’t really evolved much since moving from NJPW to AEW goes to sell a little bit of narrative that AEW is sort of like a retirement league for himself and the Bucks, because none of them are remotely trying to grow now, and are just rehashing their existing gimmicks to an audience that might not be as familiar with them.

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Biting on the Sale Price Fallacy

When I started my journey of taking online surveys to make money for future blets back in July, as I’ve stated numerous times, the end goal really was to be ready for whenever if and when and mostly if, the WWE Shop would release a replica of the NXT UK Tag Team Championship blet.

Well that still hasn’t happened, and since the belt debuted in 2018, they’ve released countless “tribute” blets, which I put in quotations because almost all of them are entirely existing plates, screwed onto new and gaudy straps, individualized to whichever wrestler they’ve decided to “tribute,” and then charge anywhere from $500-800 for them.

Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, Ric Flair, John Cena, Edge, Triple H and even Chyna have had tribute belts made in their honor.  The Rock and Macho Man Randy Savage have had custom belts designed as theirs.  As noted in the past, Xavier Woods’ YouTube channel’s belt has even been made available. 

Hulk Hogan has tribute belts both to his red and yellow persona, as well as his nWo Hollywood Hogan character.

The Undertaker has had two tribute belts made, this year alone. 

I know it’s a big deal that 2020 marks 30 years in the WWE for the Undertaker, but you know who’s probably the most sick of all this Undertaker tribute-ing?  The Undertaker.  Mean Mark’s made little secret of his generally low-key secluded life when not actively being the business, so I have to imagine a guy like him is put off by all this attention, but does it because of all the paychecks he’s going to continue to get for the rest of his life, by unwavering loyalty to Vince McMahon, but even still, that’s a whole lot of fuckin’ Undertaker to absorb throughout a year.

Anyway, because it’s painfully evident that the WWE Shop is in no rush to ever, if at all, release the NXT UK Tag Team Championship replica, I’ve long past the theoretical full MSRP of a brand-new release blet, and just been continuing to earn more money on the surveys that I do, because why the fuck not?  It’s an easy way to make a little bit of side scratch, and hopefully eventually one day, the blet I really want will actually be made available.

But in the meantime, because of the time of year it is, I noticed that the WWE Shop decided to drop some Black Friday deals of their own, including on blets, and despite the fact that they didn’t have the one blet that I really really wanted, I still felt some excitement and almost a need to capitalize on the fact that they were deeply discounting so many of their inventory.

This is obviously the sale price fallacy, where I simply wanted to buy something solely on the fact that it was on sale.  And despite the lack of NXT UK Tag, I still had in the back of my mind some choices that I’d be willing to pull the trigger on, if they were on deep discount, and seeing as how they all were, I winced and realized that I was about to make an impulse purchase on one of them.

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I want to like this more, but the jokes

Impetus: Thirty years after WWF Wrestlefest is released in arcades, some company announces the release of RetroMania Wrestling, the “official” sequel to WrestleFest

As the title of this post says, I really want to like and be excited about this game more than I am, but there are just so many jokes and snark to unleash and get out of my system before I can resign myself to the fact that I’ll still probably impulse purchase this on Steam so that I can play with my brother and my bros.

When I was a kid, I loved Wrestlefest.  I almost always picked the Ultimate Warrior despite the fact that by then, I was already well on my way to being one of those contrarian mark types of wrestling fans and was a by far bigger fan of Mr. Perfect than I was the Warrior, but the cheapskate cheesing kid with very limited quarters didn’t like the fact that Mr. Perfect lacked many power moves, but most importantly the ability to drop a body slam, so there was no way to get cheap easy eliminations with Mr. Perfect when playing in the Royal Rumble mode.  One of my fondest memories of this game was being a such a master button masher, that no matter the fact that I had zero health in a Royal Rumble match, I would still kick out of every pinfall attempt, and I ended up outlasting two other human opponents, with me winning the rumble after back dropping the last human player out.

Hell, even as an adult, I loved Wrestlefest, and I installed Mame and got a rom of Wrestlefest, it was basically the greatest thing on the planet, that I could now play one of my favorite arcade games ever, with basically unlimited quarters, since credits could be added with the press of buttons.  I dabbled with all other characters I didn’t want to waste money with when I was a kid, and realized that the best player in the game was Sgt. Slaughter, who not only had good power moves, but an automatically initializing submission move in the cobra clutch, that anyone slapped into it had like a 20% chance of actually not tapping out of.

Needless to say, you’d think I would be over the moon that when a “sequel” was announced, I’d be more excited about it, especially since at first blush it’s basically the same game, just with different characters, settings and some modern polish.  But you hear the title, you see the roster, and realize that there’s obviously no legal affiliation with the WWE, and it kind of feels like something is missing, and the whole thing kind of comes off like a non-canonical fan-fiction of a production.

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Happy Trails, Animal

The end of the road for this warrior: legendary tag team wrestler, Joe “Animal” Laurenaitis passes away at the age of 60

Here’s a big oof moment – when looking for a picture to use for this post, I came across this particular image from Survivor Series 1990, and realized that now, every single person in this particular promo was dead.  Kerry Von Erich, Road Warrior Hawk, the Ultimate Warrior, “Mean” Gene Okerlund, and now, Road Warrior Animal, all gone from mortal existence.  This particular Survivor Series was also the debut of the Undertaker, whom has just officially retired from the business after 30 years in the WWE but is otherwise alive and well.

But back to Animal, 60 is not quite an age where the royal we can say he’s gone too soon, but at the same time it’s not really an age where we can say that he lived a full life, closer to general white male in America life expectancy than not.  The cause of death hasn’t formally been revealed, but I don’t think it’s going out on a limb to assume that it was probably his heart, it was probably enlarged, and couldn’t have been helped by some of his life spent with his former tag team partner, who was a notorious partier, substance abuser, and was someone who was gone too soon, at the age of 46.

For the record, I was always more fond of Animal than I was Hawk, even though I fully understand that when the day was over, Hawk really was the stronger worker and more talented of the two.  I guess I just preferred Animal’s power game and his general aesthetic, and the single center mohawk looked cool, and not like he was prematurely balding like Hawk’s dual mohawks.  Hawk would carry matches, take the brunt of the punishment, but then make the hot tag to Animal, who came in and bulldozed opponents, before eventually putting someone up on his shoulders for the Doomsday Device, which to this day, is still one of the more legitimately devastating looking finishers in all wrestling, and there’s a reason why so few tag teams even try to replicate it today.

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Some words for Kamala the wrestler

I feel that I needed to clarify the disambiguation, because given the fact that the name “Kamala” is exploding the internet right now as Senator Kamala Harris has been formally tapped to be Joe Biden’s VP running mate, there has been an ironically cringey overlap between she, and James “Kamala” Harris, the professional wrestler who has just recently passed away.

When mythical wife stated to me that “some wrestler died,” I quickly did a Google search to see that it was Kamala who had passed away.  I’ll be honest, Kamala “The Ugandan Giant” wasn’t necessarily a guy I cared a tremendous amount, as I always thought he was more of a racist caricature of a character.  And given the fact that he was 70 years old at his passing, it was one of those moments of insensitivity that I felt where at least he lived to see 70, and wasn’t a guy who was found dead in a hotel bathroom from an overdose or heart explosion from a lifetime of steroids and painkillers.

But then as a little time passed, and it was revealed that Kamala had passed away, basically because of coronavirus, then I winced and felt guilty for no-selling the news of his passing, because now it wasn’t so much a passing because a guy had lived out his life, as much as it was a guy having what remaining life he had left to live, stripped away from him, on account of an extremely preventable sickness that shouldn’t been neutralized like three months ago, and now that’s something to be sad about.

As I said, Kamala wasn’t tremendously important to me, growing up as a wrestling fan, but even I knew that Kamala was a guy who’s career transcended three decades in the industry, and has rubbed shoulders with countless industry legends in the process.  In the 80’s he feuded with Hulk Hogan, in the 90’s he feuded with the Undertaker, and he even came back in the early 2000’s to still take some bumps and put over the then-current generation of performers.

In fact, it was actually in 2005 when I probably came the closest to marking out for Kamala, when on an episode of RAW, he got into an altercation with Umaga, who was being pushed pretty hard as a bruising heel at the time, and there was a segment where the husky Samoan and the husky Ugandan were up in each other’s faces, and I was like “oh shit, this is really happening!”  They would have a match where Kamala more or less got squashed, but I can admit that for about five minutes, Kamala was pretty much the baddest guy in the industry when he stood toe-to-toe with the WWE’s top heel for a brief match.

Rarely is a loss of life is ever not sad, and the wrestling industry loves to throw around the title of “legend” to all sorts of former professional wrestlers, as long as they didn’t burn bridges with the biggest promoters.  Like, I’d seen Marty Jannetty being called a legend; the guy’s career’s legacy is being the guy Shawn Michaels smashed through a window, and now he’s more known for wanting to bang his own daughter and admitting to murder on social media.  He’s definitely no fucking legend.

Let’s make it clear that in spite of my own personal ambivalence towards the character of Kamala, he is, undoubtedly a legend.  His career transcended decades, he had feuds with legitimately some of the biggest names in the industry, and had a character that basically proved that black don’t crack, as when he showed up in 2005 looking basically the same as he did in 1985.

Despite living to 70, the man frankly should have kept living, but ‘Murica being what it is today, even the Ugandan Giant from Deepest, Darkest Africa was in the prime age of susceptibility, and unfortunately the business and the world lost a life that should very well have been preventable, which is the saddest part of all of this.

Happy trails, James Harris.

Somehow, being a Marty Jannetty managed to get darker

It’s funny, as I’d been going through all of my old posts from the last decade, I came across this one from 2017, which was this cringe-worthy story about how Marty Jannetty supposedly wanted to bang his own daughter.  The span between 2016-present, I’d forgotten a lot of the things I’d written, because they never saw the light of day on my brog in the first place, but there’s no other way to describe the situation – Marty Jannetty apparently wanted to bang his own daughter, and the most fortunate thing that could’ve happened was that the biological test proved that they were not actually related.

But basically, I declared that the definition of being a Marty Jannetty was no longer exclusive to being the weaker half of any professional wrestling tag team, but also implied a man who would want to bang his own daughter.  For example, it could be said that the current president of the United States has almost made some Marty Jannetty-like remarks, like when he stated that if Ivanka were not his daughter, he’d probably be dating her.

The point is, I declared that the definition of a Marty Jannetty had changed back in 2017 based on some ironically fucked up behavior, but very, very shortly after revisiting that post, one of my friends shares with me a text message that basically just said:

Marty Jannetty confessed to murder on Facebook

Naturally, this friend never really gives me any context to remarks like this, so I had to look it up, but well yeah, it basically looks like Marty Jannetty confessed to committing a murder, on theFacebook.

In the grand spectrum of things, as fucked up as potential incest is, I’d still rank it not as bad to, potential murder.  So I guess perhaps it’s gotten even darker to be defined as a Marty Jannetty, because now that would imply that you might be a murderer, and if we want to get specific, someone who can kill a guy and that will ultimately confess to it on social media, 30 years later.

Either way, I’m sure the Nick Jacksons, Chuck Taylors, Angelo Dawkins, Tuckers and Erick Rowans never liked being called Marty Jannettys in its original definition, but I think it’s safe to say that perhaps we should start looking for new terminology for the weaker half of tag teams now, because ‘ol Marty is taking his shit into some really dark and undesirable to be compared to places these days.

NXT Japan? Think of the belts!

Prior to the rise and age of coronavirus, I’d heard rumblings of Triple H’s ultimate goal of basically colonizing various parts of the world with NXT. It’s apparent that he has visions of reinventing the territorial system, but in a manner where he’ll have a finger in every single one of them, by having an NXT division in all of them. And despite the notion that he could be saturating the industry with his product(s), the truth of the matter is that NXT, the WWE and their general modus operandi run pretty tight ships, and I have to ask if that’s such a problem?

One of the most oft-discussed future NXT territories, has been Japan; it goes without saying that when it comes to the professional wresting industry, Japan is easily top-3 when it comes to countries that take it seriously, between them, the United States and Mexico. It goes without saying that if there were any place on the globe that should be a priority for a future NXT brand, it’s definitely Japan. And try, the WWE and Triple H have done throughout the last year or so, and every now and then there’s news of WWE getting into talks to purchase some small federation in Japan, before it fizzles out somewhere along the line.

It’s pretty clear that the WWE’s intention is to purchase an existing company, re-brand it as NXT Japan and go from there, as opposed to starting something from scratch. Which sounds like a decent plan, as to minimize transitioning as much as possible, but if there’s one thing about Japanese culture, is that they’re extremely nationalistic and extremely prejudice towards outsiders seeking success in their lands. Whether the validity of the reports are true, supposedly the WWE has been shot down numerous times by various promotions looking to sell, and in some stories, some Japanese promotions be it New Japan, All Japan or some other players, have swooped in to purchase them, for seemingly no other reason than to cockblock the WWE from getting their foot in the door.

Whether or not any of that is true is really irrelevant in the long run, and I don’t particularly feel like going through the trouble to validate any of it, but the fact of the matter is that in the long run, it’s a moot point, because eventually, the WWE will get their foot into Japan, and NXT Japan will one of these days, eventually come to fruition. It’s not a matter of if, but when, because everybody has a price, and someone will eventually set aside nationalistic pride for financial gain and hand the reigns to their promotion over to the WWE, or failing that, the WWE will start from scratch if the projections of success are high enough.

I for one, am all for an NXT Japan division, because I appreciate and like what they’ve done with NXT UK, and I think there’s a tremendous world of opportunity and growth if an NXT Japan were to come to fruition. They’d obviously be the new base for Asian talent, and much like UK does, they can easily bring in talents from China, the Philippines, and if there’s even any interest in professional wrestling in Korea, why not see a first-ever Korean-born WWE professional wrestler too? They’d be closer for talent in the hot beds of Australia and New Zealand to feed into, and they’re an option for talents from Russia and India as well.

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