The whitest thief in the world

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I mean, there’s really not much to add to the headline.  A Tennessee man is arrested for stealing an alleged $65,000 worth of clothing from Hollister and American Eagle. 

Clearly, the mall in which he was victimizing must not have had an Abercrombie & Fitch, otherwise it’s safe to assume they would have been pilfered from too.

Sometimes, stories just kind of write themselves, and when I see a headline about how Hollister and American Eagle are the companies being burgled, my first thought was “white people clothiers” and how the perpetrator must undoubtedly be a white guy.  Seriously though, it probably wasn’t the best idea to be stealing from global brands like these, because regardless of race, these are companies that live and die by numbers, and $65,000 worth of merch is undoubtedly going to be noticed and it would only be a matter of time in which action would be taken.  Trent McWhiterton III clearly dipped into the well a little too many times and to no surprise, was eventually caught.

The funny thing to me was his general racket of stealing brand new goods, and then selling them to consignment shops.  Undoubtedly, Plato’s Closet was probably only to give him 25% of the value, at consignment rates, so in spite of the fact that he stole like $65k* worth of clothing, he probably made like $10k in sales.  Honestly, if this bro weren’t so lazy, he probably could’ve made vastly more money through eBay, and probably been way safer, since apparently it was Plato’s people who helped tip off the fuzz.

*let’s also not forget that $65k worth of Hollister and American Eagle is probably like $6,500 in materials and Cambodian slave labor to manufacture

What’s also entertaining to me is that I just happened to chance across this story, because like many Americans right now, I’m fixated to election news, and for whatever reason, this story happened to be the first thing listed in related articles.  I guess there is though, a modicum of relation considering just how white and criminal the election process kind of is, that a story about a white guy stealing from white people clothiers can be somewhat related.

Whatever though, white people getting busted for stealing from white companies, and where ultimately everyone comes out a loser, that’s all water off my back.  It’s something whimsical for me to write about while I await hopefully good news to come out of this shit show, because I’m tired of feeling like I’m held hostage by the country with everyone else, who just wants to know who’ll be our dear leader for the future.

Election Paralysis

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I never wanted to care about politics in my life really.  For the longest time, I remained ambivalent as possible about them, and I didn’t vote in the first three elections I was eligible to have voted in.  Looking back, I have regret for not doing such because I’ve learned just how important they can be, and the symbolic right and privilege we have in being able to do so.

Naturally, and I surmise it’s a natural progression of aging, I’ve become more woke and attuned to politics, and I try to give somewhat of a shit in regards to the systems that run the country we live in.  It would be somewhat accurate to state that I’ve grown to care, somewhat about politics, much to my dismay.

That being said, I’m finding that myself, along with hundreds of thousands of Americans, are dealing with election paralysis – immense struggles at being able to focus on anything or want to do anything, while the election is still unresolved, and awaiting for something to happen, which will put an end to the election and let everyone collectively exhale and move forward, with knowing who will be leading the way.

Like seriously, I’ve spent the last two nights doing little during my free time other than watching various news outlets and trying to keep abreast of election news, as if the declaration of the presidency of the United States is going to directly impact my life, immediately.  Ultimately, this underscores the fact that I, like many, perceive this particular election to be of the utmost importance, and I’m finding myself caring about it more than I would have ever imagined myself caring about an election.

And while the election remains in flux, I’m finding myself incapable of doing anything else, because I seem to care so much about impending news and information that I can’t focus.  I couldn’t find the motivation to write over the last two days because my eyes were glued to the news.  I didn’t watch wrestling despite being available to do so.  I didn’t scour the internet for money making schemes.

I feel like I’m being held captive by my want to know how the election is going to turn out and it’s kind of sad because I used to not give two shits about any election and now I can’t do anything because I’m vested and want to know.  The only reason this post is coming to fruition is mostly based on the fact that just about everyone I work with is in the same boat, nobody’s working, because everyone is so engrossed in what could be happening in the voting chambers of 3-5 key remaining states that have not called yet.

I get it though.  I eagerly want to know what’s going to happen too.  But I do know that big picture, it’s better for the results of the election to take longer if they’re going to be right and true, rather than know that it’s rushed, and ends up rigged or have a billion valid votes thrown out, and then we as a country are stuck for another four years with an agitated baked potato leading the way.

I just want to relax and not feel like I have to care so much about this shit anymore, and get back to watching wrestling, 90 Day Fiancé, and The Mandalorian.

It’s always gratifying to be right about sports

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This is what I said last year when then-Astros manager AJ Hinch was fired for his role in the notorious trash can banging cheating scandal:

They’re firings of nothing but symbolic scapegoating, and when the day is over, both (former GM Jeff Luhnow) of these guys will be hired by some other MLB team approximately 365 days from now.

And just like that, with his suspension lifted, AJ Hinch has immediately been picked up by the Detroit Tigers to become their next manager.  One of the other guys involved in the scandal, Alex Cora, fired by the Boston Red Sox shortly after Hinch’s dismissal, is already back in talks with the Red Sox to come back and help cheat manage.  I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to hear news of someone reaching out to Carlos Beltran in the near future either.

Because like many things in the world these days, Major League Baseball lacks a moral compass.  If there were one, both guys would be blacklisted for life for compromising the integrity of the game.  But since baseball is a dog-eat-dog business where wins equals profits, teams are more than willing to turn the other cheek when it comes to indiscretions as long as someone can help contribute to more wins, and this is where we stand.

Ultimately, when the day is over, I couldn’t possibly give any shits fathomable about these developments.  It’s just amusing to me how predictable Major League Baseball can be sometimes, and in spite of the high and mighty act they pulled in dropping the weakest hammer down on the Astros and all involved parties, barely anything was punished, a bunch of rich baseball people got year-long vacations, and most will have jobs waiting for them.  The Astros were a win away from making it to the World Series, and frankly it would’ve been a gigantic middle finger to MLB had the Astros won it all when they were supposed to be being punished.

Most importantly though, I get to boast about how I’m right about something, because lord knows that shit doesn’t happen too very often.

The best month ever, fin

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

In spite of the mental troubles I went through earlier in the month, I came to the realization that October truly was, one of the best months ever, as far as my life is concerned.  I have my child, I have my wife, and I have my mother under the same roof throughout the entire month, and I’ve been getting free childcare from my mom while I’ve transitioned back into the rhythm of working virtually. 

Additionally, my fridge has literally never been so full so often, as my mom is basically a machine when it comes to insisting that I be eating more Korean food, and I’m more than happy to oblige as much as my appetite can accommodate.  It’s actually been kind of humorous the pattern of her complaining about the lack of fridge space when it’s she who’s constantly buying more food to re-cram in there. 

But the last weeks have been an enjoyable pattern of me getting to work with piece of mind that my daughter was with her grandma and in the best of hands that aren’t her parents.  The two of them bonded pretty immediately, and it makes my heart swell every time I see them together, both of them smiling and enjoying each other’s company.  My mom bringing a lot of old world parenting to the forefront, with my child responding just fine, as long as she was being cared for and given attention.

The thing is, I had a harrowing thought in my mind throughout the month that I’m not entirely sure if I’ll ever have the opportunity to spend this much time with my mom again in my life.  She’s in good health, and takes pretty good care of her lifestyle, but she is in her 70s now, and we live in a country where basically a plague that preys upon the elderly is still running rampant.  I feel like my child kind of revitalized my mom a little bit to where she was capable of babysitting for her throughout the working weeks, but it was clearly taxing by the end of each day, and I can’t assume that this will be able to be the case again in the future if I were ever to have a second, but I also don’t want to imply that grandma’s biggest value is solely in babysitting, because she’s still a mom to me.

Needless to say, the realization that these are the days that should be treasured the most is what helped me pull my head out of my ass, because there’s no guarantee that I’ll ever have time like this ever again in my life.  It’s been a truly incredible month for the most part, and I’m happy that I was able to capitalize and memorialize a lot of the times with my actual camera, because it was really important to me that my daughter have lots of photo evidence of her time spent with halmoni on dad’s side.  Because she’s been hitting home runs every single day while she’s been here, and as our month winds down to a close, I wanted to write something about it so that I too can look back fondly at this time of my life and remember that in a year where everyone is bemoaning as the worst in history, I had one of the best months ever.

Parent Triggered

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of the things that I learned throughout my 30’s is to metaphorically not keep score with so many things in life.  Because life is not as fair as we’d all like it to be, and so very rarely is a perfect 50/50 balance, no matter how logical and equal people think they should be.

For example, say I meet up with a friend, and I pick up the check for a $40 dinner, and the next time we get together, they pay for a $20 lunch at Willy’s.  I could be a prick and mentally ledger that they still need to pay out another $20 for us to be even, or I can just appreciate the sheer reciprocity and be content that I’m getting one of my favorite foods for free.  Frankly, I’d rather do the latter than try to keep score.

My mom and I were talking about Korean politics way back when, back when Moon Jae-In had successfully reached through to the insane neighbors up north and made some massive ground in diplomacy.  Naturally, we were both dubious that anything was really going to progress beyond some monumental photographs, but her stance was that there was no way that the north was going to play nice enough for anything substantial to happen because there was no way that they were going to give anywhere close to equal what the south would have to give.

I explained that this was an instance where expecting fairness was never going to amount to anything, and that this was a prime example of where a 50/50 split just wasn’t plausible.  There are just some times in life where it might have to be 55/45 or even 65/35 in order for progress to be made, and sure it’s not fair, it’s not equal, but sometimes it takes one party to be bigger in order for progress to happen.

It’s like playing any variant of Civilization, like whenever India comes knocking on the door and you have Gandhi asking you for a king’s ransom’s worth of knowledge and technology, and refusing him results in him literally declaring nuclear war.  It’s not fair and it’s not equal that he’s asking for a 70/30 relationship, but when that 30 is the survival of your civilization, you still come out of the agreement knowing you made the right call.

You just can’t expect to live life thinking that everything is always going to equal out and everything is going to be fair, because it most certainly never will be, and thinking that will, only leads to frustration, angst and heartache.

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Sounds like a Clemson grad

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The importance of an education: unknown man wagers $8,600 on #1 ranked Clemson vs. negative-ranked Syracuse . . . on Clemson to win.  And at -100,000 odds, the payout on Clemson’s inevitable victory would be an $8.60 payout

Either this person is a Clemson homer/grad, and/or they really don’t understand how sports betting works.  And/or they are just dumb.  Most likely all of the above.

Honestly, before I clown too much on this guy, I’ve kind of been there before.  Betting on sports isn’t as cut and dry as it is amongst casual friends, where everything is a pretty straight up bet.  But to do it on a book, it’s vastly more complicated, and usually involves match-ups that aren’t so overwhelmingingly favored in one direction as it was between Clemson and Syracuse.

In 2005, I felt really good about the Washington Redskins’ chances against the Seattle Seachickens in the playoffs, as the Redskins were riding momentum, and the Seahawks were going to be without Shaun Alexander when he was still good.  I actually called up a sports book that I’d been hearing advertised on television, and whereas I thought it would be as simple to just say I wanted to put $50 on the Redskins, I quickly learned that it’s vastly more complicated.  Such as money lines, spreads and partial games, but ultimately I went with the straight money bet, since that’s all I wanted, and I stood to make like $75 if the Redskins were to pull off the upset.

Naturally, I lost, because , because the Redskins are the Redskins and I’ve literally never won a sports bet in my life, but I learned a little something about sports betting that evening.  Mostly, that it doesn’t really have any meaning unless the matchup is remotely competitive, which is something that pretty much any college football game featuring Clemson is not, to the point where lots of books won’t even offer straight money bets on Clemson, because they win every game by like 40 points, and they don’t want to pay $8.60 to the 400 oafs who take the sure-lock bet, because that’s still $3,400 they lose, even if it would have netted them $3.4 million if the upset were to occur.

I get it though, kinda.  This loser with $8,600 to blow wanted to boast about how much they gamble, and conveniently leave out the fine details, like how they’re betting on the best college football team of the last decade, against a school that’s more known for basketball than football.  They brag to their friends and over social media about how much money they’re risking, and when they inevitably win, they’ll brag about winning, but fail to mention the odds or how minuscule risk there actually was.  If it’s not stupidity, then it’s all a really excessive effort dog and pony show for the internets; which still makes it stupid.

The only true justice is if and when one day, Clemson actually gets upset by an actual scrub.  And in all fairness, one of the last times that actually happened was against Syracuse a few years ago, but that was also before Trevor Lawrence.  But hopefully, one of these days, this particular guy, or anyone like him, when it occurs, the internet is ready to identify, ridicule and meme-ify them to the rest of the world.

Writing when I don’t feel like writing

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

My motivation to write lately has been pretty nonexistent lately.  Not necessarily due to depression, quite the contrary, I’ve managed to pull my head out of the darkness a little bit better since my last brog therapy session.  It’s just that I just don’t really have any motivation to write.

I’m not finding a lot of things on the internet that are inspiring me to write, and maybe I’m still in a state of having writer’s rust when it comes to consistent brogging since I got my site back up months ago.  The point is, I just haven’t felt like I’ve had any real inspiration to write, and I don’t particularly feel motivated to write about things out of thin air either.

Regardless, the anxiety of letting too much time pass between posts is greater than the anxiety of feeling like I don’t have anything to write about, so in order to try and fill the airtime, I’m doing something I used to do whenever it was that I felt like I had nothing to write about: sit in front of a blank canvas and just start writing and see what words I can barf out.

Life lately has been somewhat steady over the last few weeks, especially since my mom is living with me for a few more weeks, and I have the peace of mind knowing that my daughter is in good hands while I hole up in my office for work; I’m actually utilizing my dedicated office space in order to take my job more seriously, as I probably really wasn’t during the first few weeks of quarantining, especially since I had a newborn baby that’s now a 7+ month old infant now.

My entire team has been told that we’re basically going to be working from home until at the very earliest, January 31st of 2021, and frankly even that seems like a dubious milestone in my opinion, because I think when the day is over, schools are what are going to be driving the decisions of all companies on whether or not they’re going to make employees come back to the offices or not.  Child care is low-key the main thing that is going to determine whether or not businesses large or small will be going back to offices any time soon, and even that, is going to be determined by the availability of a vaccine, since ‘Muricans can’t stop being so selfish for two months to effectively quarantine and let coronavirus burn out on its own.

But whatever, for better or worse, I’m working from home for the remainder of this year, and into the start of next.  Regardless of the state of work in that time, I can always have peace of mind knowing that I am always going to be home with my child, even if she will be with the nanny that we’re going to have to hire part-time in order to have eyes on her while I take my job seriously.

Continue reading “Writing when I don’t feel like writing” →