Tag: motherland

Braves Job Alert: mid-tier Latino pitchers pls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A few weeks ago, I saw a news article about how a former Atlanta Braves pitcher, Carlos Carrasco, had signed with the LG Twins of the Korea Baseball Organization.  This tingled my spider-senses because it was about baseball, it was about a guy who had been on the Braves, it was about Korea, it was about the KBO, where I had just seen a game for the first time, and it also just so happened to have featured the LG Twins; who lost to the Doosan Bears in spite of being the team with the better record when they play, but hey that’s why the play the games.

Anyway, in spite of my general ambivalence and distance from the Braves and just sports in general, I am familiar with Carlos Carrasco, because he was a guy on the team that it seemed to be notorious that he was cut from the major league roster pretty much every other week, before being re-signed by the Braves, pitch in a game or two, before being designated for assignment again, and the cycle would repeat itself, seemingly over and over again.

That’s not the kind of distinction any player should want, but for a bad sports fan like me who is more often times fascinated by the weird and interesting happenstances of sports, it’s how I remembered who he was.

It was in the 2025 season that I first noticed the pattern of Carrasco being jerked around, because it seemed to happen a lot, way more than I’d noticed it happening to any player before.  I mean, Uncle Jesse Chavez got a similar treatment in prior years, especially by the Braves, but not to the frequency in which it was happening to Carrasco.

According to Gemini, Carrasco’s 2025 season actually was, the most extreme case of revolving door roster ping-ponging for any player in history, as the poor guy was released and brought back an unprecedented seven times throughout the season. 

My knee-jerk reaction was that this had to have been related to the cheap-ass Braves wanting to save money and that the small gaps in between his cuts and re-signings, they’d be absolved of having to pay prorated daily wages, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how contracts work and that he was still due his contracted amount, and that his roster spot was more valuable and the chief reason for constantly shuffling him around. 

But at the same time, I don’t think the cheap-ass Braves’ payroll department was complaining about the lack of logistics and per-diem envelopes they were saving by the occasional absence of his physical being, so fuck those cheap bean counters all the same.

But the thing is, and I touched on it a second ago, with Jesse Chavez getting a similar treatment before Carrasco, is that I’ve come to the scientifically proven conclusion* that the Atlanta Braves seem to require the need to have a Latino pitcher of the mediocre, swingman variety, that they will jerk around back and forth on the roster and give them absolutely no chance to breathe, settle in, or genuinely feel like a part of the team.

*As much as I don’t want to have to explain that this is tongue-in-cheek, and that I have zero readers, I’ve been dealing with a lot of astonishingly stupid people on the internet and that’s my bad for engaging communities in the first place

So, it started, or rather I actually noticed this, in 2024, with the aforementioned Jesse Chavez; the man was already beloved in Atlanta, and prior to 2024, already had four prior stints with the Braves, including being a member of the 2021 World Series squad.  But after his championship contributions, the team didn’t get caught up in recency bias, let him walk, and he signed with the Cubs in 2022, where he did not start well, and in April, was traded back to the Braves, where he suddenly turned back into good Uncle Jesse, and pitched so well that the team was able to sell high on him and traded him to the Angels that August.  Apparently, changing out of his Braves uni made him suck again, and not even a full month later, the Angels cut him, and take a guess who was waiting to pick him back up?  The Braves.  Naturally, he pitched well for Atlanta again, and there was a funny narrative that was born about how he sucked for everyone except the Braves.

Uncle Jesse would sign and stay with the Braves for the entire 2023 season, and because he was on the Braves, he pitched well, enough to where he parlayed it into signing with the White Sox for more money the following season.  He bombed out in Spring Training and the Sox were forced to cut him, and naturally the Braves would pick him back up, and with someone else picking up half of his salary, would deliver again.  And then he’d sign with the Texas Rangers, suck, and of course the Braves would snatch him up again.

Which brings us to the 2025 season, where at 41, the magic was wearing off, and even in the magical Braves uni that gave him so much strength in the past, Chavez had become the next victim to the undefeated Father Time, his ERA ballooned up to 9.00, and the revolving door roller coaster began.  Two times he was cut and picked back up, with the second one of those he wasn’t even used, but it was at his third cut on July 17, 2025 that Chavez would declare his retirement from the game outright.

And on July 31, 2025, Carlos Carrasco was called up from the minor leagues.  I don’t know if he realized it, but he was basically going to be filling the void that Jesse Chavez had left behind, and he would remain on the squad for two weeks before getting his first cut, and then be brought back to finish out the season, literally one day later.

November 6, 2025, Carrasco would be cut by the Braves which is funny because the season was already over, but this would effectively be start of the 2026 season, where he would be about to make history:

11.06.25: cut by Braves (1)
11.08.25: signed by Braves
04.30.26: cut by Braves (2)
05.01.26: signed by Braves
05.07.26: cut by Braves (3)
05.08.26: signed by Braves
05.31.26: cut by Braves (4)
06.02.26: signed by Braves
06.12.26: cut by Braves (5)
06.15.26: signed by Braves
06.26.26: cut by Braves (6)
07.05.26: signed by Braves
07.09.26: cut by Braves (7)
07.22.26: signed by LG Twins

The scary thing is that this was just half of the season.  Imagine how many more times Carrasco would have ping-ponged in the months of July and August alone, before September call-ups would have probably done him in.

My knee-jerk reaction was naturally of amusement, and how Carrasco was probably thrilled to be getting a steady paycheck and probably have a consistent locker to use for the remainder of the 2026 season, even if he had to pack all his shit and go to Korea.  But the results speak for themselves, in his first start, Carrasco pitched seven perfect innings against the Doosan Bears, setting himself up to look like a demigod in Korea after being a training dummy in MLB.

Which brings us to the third guy in the picture above, Elieser Hernandez.  He’s no spring chicken at 31 years of age, and his MLB experience is nothing to sign about, having around 300 innings over six years of MLB experience, pitching in a variety of roles.  His career ERA was 5.10 prior to coming to the Braves. 

However, with the departure of Carrasco, Hernandez was called up on July 19, 2026, and he made his presence felt for Braves fans when he came out of the bullpen in a slugfest with the Baltimore Orioles on July 24, 2026, and pitched three innings of one-hit ball, getting the win.

He was promptly rewarded for his heroics by getting cut by the Braves on July 27, 2026, but he would re-sign with the team one day later.  Three days after that, he’d pitch three innings in a win against the Washington Nationals, notching an old-school three inning save, and I’m sure there’s some obscure stat where Elieser Hernandez is the first guy in MLB history to have his first two appearances with a team getting a Win and a Save, with a DFA in between.

Guess what happened two days ago?
August 3, 2026: Elieser Hernandez released by the Braves.

But then guess what happened one day ago?
August 4, 2026: Elieser Hernandez signed by the Braves.

Obviously the game is different now than it was five, ten, and twenty years ago.  Roster management is more important than it’s ever been, especially for poor teams and crying-poor teams who need to maximize their processes and efficiencies as optimally as possible to hope to have a prayer at competing against the Dodgers and their billion-dollar payroll of superstars that don’t have to be micromanaged.

And I’d be naïve if I didn’t assume that this is the kind of behavior that every team does to a degree, and that it’s not just the cheap-ass Braves doing it.  But it funny to conclude with the narrative that the Atlanta Braves have this mandatory requirement to have a Latino pitcher to be repeatedly spinning through the ringer, cutting and re-signing over and over again, and frankly it’s probably this kind of front office bullshit that will surely be a bullet point of contention this off-season when the owners and MLB players union embark on their collision course for next season’s inevitable strike.

Welp, time to become an A’s fan

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

JoongAng: Oakland Sacramento Las Vegas The Athletics receive large investment from Team61, a group led by former great Chan-Ho Park, making him the first Korean to have a stake in a Major League Baseball team

If there were ever a more tailor-made story for me to want to write about, here it is.  Much as the Dodgers have basically sold themselves to Glorious Nippon, it seems fitting that Korea is attempting to gain control over an MLB organization as well, with the team formerly known as the Oakland A’s, eventually going to be landing in Las Vegas one of these days.

But it’s not just the simple fact that Koreans are entwining themselves with an MLB team, it’s who.  Led by the ultimate Korean pioneer into MLB history, Chan-Ho Park, the first Korean-born player to make it in Major League Baseball, and his investment group Team61, Park once again finds himself making firsts in MLB, becoming the first Korean to have ownership stakes in an MLB team.

Obviously it’s completely relevant to mention all of his baseball statistics and serves as more than adequate justification to why he is qualified to become a part-owner in an entire club, but it’s not just Park that makes this whole thing so entertaining to me.

Among the other names that comprise of Team61, are notable Korean celebrities, such as Suga from BTS and actor Daniel Dae Kim, but the one that really got me, aside from Chan-Ho Park, was comedian/actor Ken Jeong.  Like, I love Dr. Ken as much as anyone else, but it’s just hilarious and tickles me to think of the notion of him having anything to do with the ownership of an MLB team.  But Koreans like making money, and it doesn’t seem like there’s any easier way to make money these days than with investments, and all four of these members of the Korean Avengers probably aren’t hurting for capital, and good on them to get in with sports franchise ownership, which has proven to be as endlessly inflating as much as gas prices.

I really wish there were a good photograph of the four Korean Avengers together, all wearing A’s jerseys, but in the spirit of timeliness I can’t find any.  So the one with Park, Jeong and some generic looking bald old white guys whom I’m assuming one is John Fisher, the hated owner of the team, will have to suffice, for now.

All the same, whilst I will remaining rooting and being a shitty worst fan ever for the Barves of my city of residence, if there were ever a time for me to be a real shittier and worst-er fan ever and pledge a modicum of allegiance to another team, it’s time to become an A’s fan.  Not that I had any beef with them in the first place, I just never cared about their existence, until now.

Future A’s vs. Dodgers games are about to become lit, and hopefully being in Las Vegas one day will make it really easy for the A’s to book Korean hotties to throw out first pitches, and combined with his degenerate gambling addiction, absolutely cripple Ohtani and his teammates whenever they take the field against my new team.

Hear me out: how to beat the Dodgers

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The other day, I saw a clip of some K-pop baddie throwing out a first pitch at Citi Field in New York.  Jang Won-Young of some group called IVE, that I’ve never heard of did you see what I did there lol.  Tall, thin, obviously had the requisite work done in order to someone in Korean media, wearing a comically cropped Mets jersey.  Threw the pitch pretty straight but still bounced it, and the Mets scrub who got to receive the pitch couldn’t be any happier getting to stand next to a Korean baddie for a photo that will probably be in the highlight reel of his career.

I thought to myself, lol should’ve been a game against the dodgers, they always collapse when Korean baddies throw out the first pitch.  It turns out that this game was against the Dodgers, and the juggernaut Dodgers actually did collapse, getting blown out by the lowly Mets by a score of 8-3.

Naturally, this got the gears grinding in my brain, becoming curious of what the Win-Loss correlation between when cute Korean idols throw out the first pitch in games where the Dodgers are playing.  I didn’t dive too deep, and there are some notable gaps between some instances, but here’s the breakdown of what I was able to give a cursory dig into:

*I have no idea who MiSaMo is, the girls are all Japanese, but the group is technically classified as a K-pop group, a sub-group of Twice, which makes them count for this exercise

The funny thing is that what made me think of this theory was Jeon Jong-seo’s first pitch in 2024, where Dodger players all had their jaws on the ground as yellow fever overtook them, the Dodgers actually won that exhibition game against the KBO’s Kiwoom Heroes, which kind of debunks my theory.  But I cherry-picked the notion that Jeon is not a K-pop musical act, but an actress, so if you’re keeping count, the Dodgers are the opposite of undefeated in games where Korean baddies throw out the first pitch. 

Two times is a coincidence, but five times is a pattern.

Aside from this astonishing research done by me, it’s funny how frequently the Dodgers seem to be getting paired up in games where little Korean hotties are throwing out first pitches.  There’s absolutely zero percent chance that MLB teams have made this correlation that only I could notice, and it’s probably coming more from a place of team management seeing the woefully weeb-ey Dodgers and their half-Japanese roster, assuming all Asians are the same, and tacking the Chinese girl to throw out the first pitch when they visit, to satisfy all those Koreans in the stands.

But you heard it here first.  It’s actually really quite simple to defeat the unstoppable Dodgers, just get some K-pop idols to throw out the first pitches of the games in which they’re in town.  Their white players can’t help crashing out from yellow fever, and their Japanese players probably can’t handle the pressure of having to perform in the presence of the inferior sex of the race they think is beneath them.

I’d be absolutely delighted if any MLB teams were to come across my Moneyball-like theory, and like in the playoffs, coincidentally just start trotting out all sorts of Korean baddies to throw out first pitches in critical games where they really need a W against the Dodgers.

Flock camera haters wouldn’t last 4 seconds in Korea

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks and months, I’ve been hearing about Flock cameras and how there are a lot of people who seem to be vehemently opposed to their existence.  Not only have haters been vandalizing, sabotaging and outright destroying them – FOR ‘MURICA, apparently there’s been a lot of controversy over police using the tech on the backend for less-than-ethical means, leading to a surprising amount of discipline towards a group of individuals who have been seemingly immune to the consequences of oversight over the years.

As far as punishing the po-po who have been supposedly abusing their access to Flock camera information, a lot of context is missing, and very little details ever seem to be given in regards to what curious cops are doing with Flock camera data, although it must be pretty substantial for them to actually be receiving disciplinary action, considering all manner of abuses of power, such as driving like shitheads and killing minorities tend to get swept under the rug, but god forbid these guys access surveillance without proper authorization, so I only have so much opinion on them, although I can’t imagine it would improve if we the people were actually given any further information.

But regular people, the Joe-Schmoes of the world who are getting so bent out of shape over the presence of Flock cameras, this kind of fascinates me.  In one hand, I get that it does kind of suck to know that there is an increase of Big Brother-ing by, for lack of a better term, the government, that frankly nobody asked for, and people, especially ‘Muricans, generally don’t respond well to the idea of being surveilled.  But in the other hand, my general take on surveillance is that, if you’re not doing anything sketchy or illicit, what does it matter if you are being potentially monitored?

It’s not like Flock cameras are sprouting like mushrooms and fungus during the summer humidity, from what I can observe, it’s usually areas near schools, busy intersections and high-traffic roads in which they’re installed.  Most of the time it looks like they’re installed in areas closer to schools with a primary objective of busting all the shitheads who drive too fast in school zones and having an automated means of issuing citations without a human cop to do it.

Additionally, ‘Murica is too cheap to plant these things in places without just cause, and I don’t think they’re randomly positioning these without any sort of data or justification.  They seem to be placed on major veins and well-traveled roads that suspicious people could potentially use, and should the need ever arise to try and locate a suspicious person, they could triangulate a location better with this kind of footage.

Frankly, I like to believe that they’re being placed in areas where people actually might care more about the crime rates of the area.  On the flip-side, I bet there are few or no Flock cameras near my old house on the south side.  And if there were, I’m sure that’s where there’s destruction of property, because the crime rate down there was already high, and the last thing any of those crooks would want is anyone having the chance to surveil them and possibly increase their odds of prevention.

I kind of get it though.  On the simple preference of if you would mind being watched over having greater privacy, I’d probably pick the privacy myself.  But considering that decision has been taken away from me, at least in areas where there are Flock cameras, I’m not sweating anything, because I don’t (at least I hope) practice in any nefarious or shady activities that I would be concerned about being monitored over, especially to the point of where I need to go sabotage and destroy government property.

The funniest part about the above image is the planting of the American flag in the destruction of a Flock camera.  It was clearly done in a manner in which the flag is acting not just as a symbol of defiance, but straight up like a middle finger.  This is the kind of shit I’d imagine like Ukrainian forces doing over a pile of dead Russian soldiers, or like when in 2006, the Korean national baseball team defeated Japan in the World Baseball Classic and planted their flag on the pitching mound, causing Ichiro to crash out.  But with these incidents of Flock camera destroying it’s basically ‘Muricans giving the middle finger to, America, and I often don’t believe there’s any country in the world that hates so much of its own country more than America does.

Speaking of Korea though, getting back to the title of this post, the people who hate Flock cameras, they most definitely would not last four seconds in Korea.  From the busiest neighborhoods in Seoul to the shittiest back alleys in like Pohang, there are CCTV cameras covering probably 75% of the entire peninsula.  My mother-in-law and I walked through a historical park that was pretty wooded and nature-y, and wouldn’t you know it, CCTV cameras were affixed to live trees, monitoring over the walking trails, and at multiple points during our trip, I’d remind her that the cameras were everywhere.

And they’ve got surveillance teams in surveillance rooms that look like Avengers HQ with how many screens and cameras they all have to monitor at all hours of the day.

Yeah, if Flock-hating ‘Muricans are up in arms over a few cameras going up along busy streets, I don’t think they have the perspective to know things could be way, way, way worse, compared to places like Korea, where surveillance is 70% more big-brotherly and privacy is way lower.  But again, if you’re not doing anything wrong, what does it really matter?

My Español education has led up to this

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I try not to live a life of too much envy, but if there’s one thing that I am often green with envy of, are polyglots and their abilities to be able to competently communicate with people of various nationalities in their native tongues.  Fewer things are as cool to me than seeing people who are able to change linguistic gears at the drop of a hat, multiplied by how competent they are at each language not native to them.

The more languages a person can bust out, usually the more envious I am, and there’s this one dude on the internet who probably makes his living through reaction videos of himself going around, mostly preying flexing on the Chinese, surprising them with Mandarin or Cantonese after putting himself in these deliberately orchestrated scenarios.  He speaks a large number of languages competently, but he seems to have his niche creating content surprising Chinese people, which makes me resent this rare form of white privilege he’s capitalizing on, but at the root of it, I’m just jealous that he’s able to speak so many languages.

Now I can say that I can speak a number of languages myself, but none remotely close to my ability to read and write English.  My Korean is adequate enough to be able to survive in Korea, but I wouldn’t be able to brog or be writing too many emails in Korean in a professional capacity.  I think I know enough Japanese to be able to go to Japan and not be completely invalid to the locals, and I’ve been determined to learn Spanish, seeing as how it’s probably the most utilitarian secondary language to know living in America.

Needless to say, I’m not going to be producing polyglot content any time soon.

At the time I’m writing this, my Duolingo streak is up to 556 days, entirely on Español.  I can count on one hand how many days that I’ve been forced to freeze, and every single one of them has been on account of being on cruises over international waters, and therefore being incapable of logging in to complete a single lesson.

Maintaining a streak is about the easiest thing in the world for someone like me to do.  Committing at least 30 minutes a day for most of that duration is a different story, but I think I’m doing a pretty good job, and even on days in which “I’m away” I still make sure to get in as much Duo as I can.

I think I’m still very much a novice at the language, repeatedly tripped up by verb conjugation and utilizing the correct form of them for all the variables that can change their use, but for the most part I’ve felt my confidence grow throughout the last two years at being able to actually engage a Spanish speaker, and I know that if I’m not already there, I’m going to hit a wall where I won’t ever develop further unless I actually use the language among others, on a routine-like basis.

Either way, the whole point of this post is to build up to the fact that the culmination of my current track has led up to a milestone occasion, in a slightly not necessarily just ironic sense: I was able to download the Telemundo app, navigate through the 100% Español log in process, and successfully get the Spanish broadcast of Copa Mundial de la FIFA going because mythical wife had heard that the Spanish broadcast was way more entertaining than FOX’s English broadcast, plus without the cringey right-wing ads they inject during half and hydration breaks.

It did not disappoint, even if we noticed that any goal scored by Argentina got three elongated gooooooooooollllllllls from Andrés Cantor while goals scored by anyone else just two.

This, is almost up there with being able to speak with and haggle with Mexican shopkeepers in Cancun over another La Parka mask for my collection of La Parka masks, as well as being able to respectfully dap up and ask Mexican tourists in Seoul if they were having a good time in Korea, after the Korea vs. Mexico World Cup match.

Tiny interactions, sure, but positive ones, and ones that I wouldn’t have had the thought to even entertain engaging, had I not taken the forward step to learn another language in the first place.

Ultimately, the level of comprehension I’d love to be able to achieve is, like Nate McLouth doing an interview entirely in Español good at Spanish, but at the same time there’s also that concern that if my Español proficiency were to surpass my Korean, it would be pretty disgraceful in some sense.

Either way, neither is going to ever really improve if I don’t use them, and I feel like if I didn’t have so many obligations in my life, and were independently wealthy, among the things I would do to pass the days in the absence of needing to work, learning moar languages would definitely be up there.

But hey, hurrah for my improvement in Español, y con suerte seguirá mejorando.

I’ve never hated something so fiercely so quickly in my life

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When wandering around one of the 7,537 shops that I went with mythical wife into while in Seoul because she liked having me around as a safety blanket because I can speak Korean, I noticed these little trinkets that looked like four keyboard keys attached to a keychain.  I’d never seen anything like such before, and I didn’t give it much thought beyond simply stating my observation to mythical wife.

However, seeing as how mythical wife is a teacher, and surrounded by kids throughout her professional life, keyboard clickers were absolutely nothing new to her, and she was about as surprised as I was to have only discovered the existence of them at this point, long after they’d been in existence.  What can I say, we do our jobs in vastly two different worlds, and little ADHD fidget things aren’t something I’m exposed to regularly.

Later that day, we went to dinner.  Unfortunately, the wife chose a joint that was in Myeongdong, and I say unfortunately because Myeongdong is basically the epicenter of tourism in Seoul, and I tend to like seeking out less-touristy and more, patroned by locals kind of establishments, but it was one of those situations where if I didn’t put any thought into dinner, it’s whomever does’ call.

We enter the restaurant, and right away I see the place is crawling with tourists, and there’s specifically a table full of nerdy looking, obvious Americans, speaking at a volume that’s typically higher than most Korean restaurants tend to operate at.  My spider-sense starts tingling, especially when I see that there’s a convenient four-top table right next to theirs, and I start to creep towards the stairs, hoping that we might be able to sit elsewhere, but the host ushers us to the table next to the Koreebs, and I’m mentally cringing at the thought of being seated next to them.

Y’see, when I go to Korea, I want to immerse in Korea, use my Korean, eat Korean – not be lumped in with all the tourists and white people and their Koreeb-ey companions, blabbing too loudly about, hilariously, League of Legends and making me think that they might be Riot Games employees, based on their too-loud conversing.

But then the alpha-dork of the group, the one blabbing too loudly the most, whips out a clicker fidget after their latest topic of streamers and Slack chats comes to a lull, and as the subject of this post says, I don’t think I’ve ever felt such nuclear hatred for something I’d just discovered, so quickly in my entire life, than listening to this overgrown man-baby clicking away at his little fidget clicker.

And for the next ten minutes or so, when he wasn’t the one talking, he was the one clicking away at this little piece of shit, and I could feel my blood pressure rising, and the thoughts of fantasizing about throwing him out the window of our second-story restaurant materializing in my head.

I’ve often said to my bros that in the hypothetical metaphor of being locked in a room with Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden and Stephen A. Smith,* and having a gun with two bullets, I would shoot Stephen A. Smith twice, once for the kill to shut him the fuck up, and one more just to make sure.

*or anyone you really hate in order to drive home the point of magnitude of hatred

But if I were ever to be in the metaphorical room with two Stephen A. Smiths and whomever invented the fidget keyboard, I would shoot the inventor of the fidget keyboard twice.

I would really rather to listen to two Stephen A. Smiths blather and bait and go off about inane topics, than allow for the person who thought it would be a good idea to make a little fidget of keyboard keys on it, to live.

It took about those ten minutes of triggering clicking and clacking for me to give numerous nasty stares, glares and Korean 눈치 before this clown finally caught my eye and realized that his incessant clicking was possibly, annoying other people in the public restaurant.  I genuinely thought about actually speaking out, but fortunately he did notice that I was glaring at him to realize that other people exist in the world, and it’s probably the best when in public to take that into consideration when choosing to do annoying shit like clacking a fidget keyboard.

Thankfully he and his clown posse wrapped up their visit and left, because I genuinely was put on edge and ready to fight if he were to continue to click and clack as much as he had been doing.  It’s incredible that these things have existed for as long as they have, and it wasn’t until I was in fucking Seoul that I’d learn of them, and be ready to declare jihad on them, all in the same day.

I witnessed a lot of really obnoxious gen-Z tropes while in Seoul, but the fidget keyboards were undeniably the worst.  I hope whomever invented them develops chronic irritable bowel syndrome, and has a really hard time dealing with it, and spends the rest of their existence being inconvenienced by trying to manage it.

What I wouldn’t do to be this Korean guy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Source: Korean YouTuber confronts Japanese “bumper” after witnessing him bump numerous women, including his friend

When I was in Seoul, I definitely got turned off by the oppressive volume of tourists that happened to be in the city at the same time in which I was visiting on more than one occasion.  I’d be lying if I didn’t fantasize about standing my ground while walking around and just trucking the shit out of everyone, primarily those who were eyes down, glued to their phones, to teach them a lesson to be more mindful of their surroundings.

But I didn’t, because I’m a civilized person, and even the most obnoxious of human behaviors are not worth potentially causing more than minor bodily harm, no matter how gratifying it might be to vent out my frustrations with human congestion.

My general rule is that when in tighter quarters, I will give people around 45 degrees of bodily rotation when wanting to go around them, and expect around 45 degrees back from them, so that we can hopefully traverse around one another as seamlessly as possible.  If they are not willing to reciprocate to the degree I do, well then fuck them, they can maybe get a little bit of body by virtue of their rudeness.

That being said, this was about one of the most satisfying pieces of internet content that I’ve seen in a long time, and it definitely gave me that e-chub of approval and envy that I wished I were the Korean guy in this video.

But apparently, and I’ve read/seen things about this phenomenon, about how there are a lot of Japanese people who are completely over all the weebs and foreign tourists that clog up their country, and have long since passed their boiling point of ignoring it, and have crossed the line into physically acting out on their frustrations, by deliberately bumping tourists; but because most of these frustrated Japanese people are still massive pussies, they only do so to women, children and generally people smaller than themselves.

To a degree, I get it, I’m not even a Korean citizen, and I was getting repeatedly incensed by the massive swarms of mostly Chinese, Russian or Indonesian tourists I came across in Seoul, clogging up the place of my heritage.  I would’ve loved to have bodied some people, especially those of whom weren’t paying attention to their surroundings, but like I said, I’m slightly more civilized than the Japanese creeps who let their frustrations get the best of them.

So this Japanese bumper is going around, shoulder checking all sorts of, mostly women, almost all smaller than him, but in his reign of terror, he bumps the wrong girl, one who has a rather large hulking oppa with her, who does not appreciate what he has seen.  And I love how the video footage shows how he’s repeatedly taking a wide route around him, and taking some time to verify that his target is accurate, almost hunting him like a shark.

And when the time is right, he intercepts the bumper and meets him with a shoulder check of his own, before stopping him and getting up in his grill, flexing his massive size difference to the little pussy, with his bro offering absolutely no modicum of support or backup.

In typical meek Japanese pussy fashion, the bumper collapses like a house of cards to a confrontation from someone larger and more imposing than they were, checking smaller females left and right, and although I would doubt that getting verbalized and bodied by someone larger was going to cease his dickish behavior once the cameras stopped rolling and he was away from his confronter, but it was satisfying to watch, and absolutely undoubtedly would be me if I were to ever be in Japan, and I caught someone deliberately bumping my wife, that is if she didn’t get up their grill first.

Man, what I wouldn’t give to be in this guy’s shoes in this moment in time.  I’d love to physically and verbally de-pants some asshole for being an asshole.  Yes, tourists can be obnoxious, but there are just some lines you just can’t expect to cross without there being the possibility of retribution.

Get owned motherfucker.  Korea > Japan