Tag: trolls

Who changes their name first: the Redskins or Patriots?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Serious question.  Based on how often the phrase “patriots” has been thrown around unironically, I can’t help but wonder if people who work for the New England Patriots football franchise wince or cringe every time they hear it.  Obviously, there’s zero (I hope) correlation between a professional football team’s identity, and a legion of white supremacist fascists, but the word is the same and when enough people hear it enough with a negative connotation, the association tends to stick, even when used in completely unrelated context.

In a very short amount of time, the phrase patriots has mutated into this very ugly and unappealing definition, and I really do wonder if this keeps up, there will be enough of an uproar and backlash to the New England Patriots to where they will actually begin considering changing their entire franchise’s name.

Obviously, when it comes to the original question, it stands to believe that the Redskins are the lock to win this “race,” seeing as how the Redskins name has been put on the shelf already, but I’m not going to give them any sort of victory until they actually pick a new name and stop parading around as the interim “Football Team” they’ve used throughout 2020.

But lest we all forget, this much progress has taken almost literally my entire lifetime, so if there was any franchise that could get overtaken by lightning in a bottle, it’s definitely the Washington Washingtons. 

We live in a very fast-moving world now where there’s little patience and even less regard for repercussions and backlash, and if the association of the word patriots continues to spiral and become more solely linked to racism, white supremacy and people who would dare attempt to disrupt and overthrow governments, the sooner the New England Patriots might want to consider renaming themselves.

Think I’m going to have to rule this race, a jump ball.

Today was supposed to be a good day

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Reverend Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff defeated Kelly Loeffler and David Purdue in senate races, one tighter than the other but the results the same, but Georgia basically saved the country from Mitch McConnell’s continued reign of tyranny, and now both the House and the Senate are controlled by team blue.

But then in Washington D.C., a substantially sized army of baked potato fanatics converged on, and then stormed the Capitol, many carrying arms, and interrupting the count of electoral votes to formally confirm the victory of Joe Biden.  One woman was shot and subsequently killed, the police did mostly nothing, and hundreds of ‘Murican terrorists trolled the federal landmark, forcing evacuations and hiding of numerous senators and the vice president of the United States too.

The actions of all these maniacs were all pretty deplorable no matter what way it’s looked at, but it’s the visuals alone that told a hundred different stories of one frightening reality, that among the 74 million racists that voted for the baked potato, there is an alarming number of them that are so fanatically devoted to their fuhrer that they’re willing to act in such extreme, militant ways and with such disregard to law and democracy, that they would basically participate in a flagrant coup attempt to basically ruin the entire country.

I saw this one picture of people scaling the walls of the Capitol, and all I could think of was how it reminded me of like, the white walkers that were crawling all over the walls of the cave of the Three Eyed Raven in Game of Thrones, or more accurately, the Battle at Helms Deep from The Two Towers, where orcs were scaling the walls trying to get in.  Metaphorically, there’s not much difference between all three of these comparisons; it’s a bunch of degenerate trolls trying to get into somewhere they shouldn’t be in, to do nefarious things.

A lot of fancy words are being thrown around to try and describe the whole scenario, but make no mistake that it was domestic terrorism at its very worst.  I’m not politically savvy enough to really expound on the more granular details of the whole situation, but ultimately what is prompting me to write is that despite the fact that I think that America just fucking sucks right now, it’s like a mom joke, where I’m allowed to say mean things like that, but it’s because at the root of things I do care, and the fact that we all had to bear witness to our country being so despicably disrespected and dishonored by such terrible people, it just makes me, really upset and sad.

Like, the words “it’s just sad,” escaped my mouth at least 52 times as the afternoon transpired and the sun set and we went into the evening, with baked potato trolls all still trolling around Washington D.C.  Friends of mine and I often wondering how only one of them was shot, knowing the obvious answer that them being white basically makes them bulletproof, and also wondering why nobody seemed to have been arrested, with the answer remaining the same.

But it’s because it really was truly saddening, that such a thing could even happen, and basically all perpetrators get away with it, and then we don’t have to look any further than the sore loser president with two weeks left on the job basically orchestrating the mother of temper tantrums, thinking-he’s-being-cleverly egging on his mindless goon followers to simmer down, knowing full well they really aren’t.  Everyone knows he gets off on knowing he has such a devoted following, and all people like me can really hope for is that their general protection disappears once he’s out of office.

Regardless, there’s no going back in time no matter how much we wished there was, and on this day, a legitimate coup attempt happened in America, and it was very much encouraged by a sitting president of the United States, jilted at the defeat he suffered in the last election, and would rather attempt to burn down the country that put him in power, than amicably transferring it over to his successor.

Just a day prior, the democratic process shone bright as a star in Georgia, as a record number of voters poured out, understanding that they held the more or less fate of the entire country in their hands, and people voted for the most qualified candidates to lead them forward.  And then one day later, one pissy orange oompa Loompa manages to take all that political equity, and burn it right to the fucking ground.

It’s just sad.

Few things are as satisfying as watching shitheads turn on each other

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

More specifically: after losing Georgia to Democrats for the first time since Bill Clinton, the baked potato publicly lashes out at Georgia governor Bubba Kemp for not helping him cheat to win, states he is ashamed to have ever endorsed him

Actually the headline is a little inaccurate, as it’s more accurate to say that the baked potato has turned on Bubba, while Bubba, in typical Bubba fashion has cowered completely to his lord king in chief and has gone completely silent in response, like a scared cat that just saw a cucumber.  Just like he went completely quiet after the baked potato publicly lambasted him after “reopening” Georgia way too soon amidst the pandemic, he’s basically in hiding until the heat dies down.

There’s really not much more to say about this, honestly.  Baked potato is just steaming because he lost Georgia, a state that’s historically almost automatically red, and for the first time since I’ve lived here, I can really say that I’m proud to be a Georgia resident. 

I wrote a few more paragraphs but Word shit the bed on me and lost it all, and I have no desire to re-write any of it because it’s about politics and once is too much as it is, so I’ll just leave it at the fact that I love watching shitheads turn on each other, and it’s great to see them flaming each other instead of respectively griefing the state and the country instead.

New Father Brogging, #025

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

If I had a dollar for every time my kid shit herself while riding in the car, then I could easily get a Chick Fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwich meal.  Not the classic #1 combo, the spicy variant, which costs more.  With large fries and a large drink.  And a brownie.

Like at this point, it’s pretty laughable how routine this is becoming.  I/we decide to go run an errand, and bring our child, so that she can see a little bit of the world outside of the safe confines of the house.  When we get to our destination, I remove her from the car seat, and do the courtesy sniff test, to which is naturally like getting fierce punch Tiger Uppercutted by Sagat, and then it takes ten more minutes to actually get started with whatever said errand or destination I/we are doing, because I have to change her diaper in the back seat of my car, and pray to god that nothing leaked out and soiled her active clothing, not that her travel bag doesn’t already have a spare outfit in case of emergency.

It’s just funny how she can go days without pooping sometimes, but the second she’s put in her car seat and taken out on a ride, it’s basically automatic that she’s going to blow up.  It also doesn’t matter if she actually poops at home, and creates a false sense of security that the pipes have been cleared, that when you do go out, because it’s like there’s a separate release chamber strictly meant for while in the car that will be unleashed when taken out of the house. 

At least I know that if I’m ever concerned that my child is facing constipation or any strange digestive ailments that result in some backing up, I’ll know exactly what I have to do to increase my odds of helping alleviate her.

It’s naturally a little gross and off-putting at times, the whole notion of babies and poop, but historically Asian cultures are pretty laissez-faire about pooping in general, often citing good bowel movements as indicative of good health.  And since my child is half Asian, the topic of poop will not be off-limits or very taboo; if anything at all, it’s something of a personal trope that I can laugh about, at its absurd predictability.  And maybe one day when she herself is reading through my brog in the distant future, she’ll cringe and wince at the notion of dad putting this all down in writing.

Quarantine Hair

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The last time I got my hair cut was January 10, 2020.  Obviously, I looked up old bank statements to find out precisely when the last transaction was made to my barber, but I knew it was way back a while because I remember the disgusting growth of my hair throughout the weeks into months after my child was born and ‘Murica descended into the endless pit of pandemic.

For obvious distancing reasons, this could not be rectified at all for a period of time, and I genuinely had concerns that my barber, who is a one-person independent operation, might actually be in jeopardy during the initial onset of coronavirus and the sheer nightmare it was wreaking on small businesses across the country.  I entertained the idea of experimenting with my own clippers and perhaps doing something on my own, especially seeing as how I rarely leave the house as it is and nobody would see any abominations that might’ve happened before it could grow back in, but with a kid in tow and life getting turned upside down, my hair was barely a concern.

As some might recall, Georgia was basically the first state to rashly drop most distancing guidelines and our idiot governor was very quick to allow for haircuts to be one of the services to be allowed back, regardless of the endless spike of infection cases throughout the country.  Despite the fact that I had a green light to go get my hair taken care of, there was a large part of me that simply refused to go along with it, because I frankly did not agree with the notion that barbers and salons were “essential;” they were more catering to the vanity of people who feel the need that their fucking hair is worth putting human lives in danger.

So, for months, my hair has been growing and becoming quite unruly throughout the process.  For a while, I was still able to keep somewhat of the spiky faux-hawk look that’s kind of become my general look, but eventually the length began to defy gravity, and it started to become the long wavy mess that it becomes when it gets too long. 

A part of me was tickled at the idea of trying to grow a man-bun since full disclosure, I actually don’t mind the way a lot of them can look.  But that would likely have required longer than a year to really accomplish, and frankly when I get flustered, anxious or stressed, hair getting in my face is one of the easiest triggers of aggravation there could be, which is why I went short every single time I even thought about letting it grow out.  Plus, my hair is really thin to begin with, so even with tied up, it’s a small yield of fluff that doesn’t seem worth it.

Continue reading “Quarantine Hair” →

I’m confused

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

In short: Atlanta suburb dealing with a rash of anti-Semitic vandalism

Let’s focus on the defaced photo of the sign here: Most people who don’t live in Georgia probably don’t know who Karen Handel is, but she did make some national news a few years back when she was in a congressional race for Georgia’s 6th District against Jon Ossoff, which became hot news and drew tons of national attention.  She ultimately defeated Ossoff to retain her congressional seat, but in 2018, was defeated by newcomer Lucy McBath, who played an expert game of politics by appealing to moms and stayed far as fuck away from the T word as humanly possible.

But anyway, like most women named Karen, Karen Handel is not letting it go, and is gunning to get her seat back.  I should also mention that Karen Handel is also a devout Republican, and as long since pledged her allegiance to the baked potato, and it was in fact a little bit of rub from the baked potato which helped her retain her seat back in 2016.

Which is why it’s really perplexing to me why someone would bother vandalizing a Karen Handel sign, in the name of the baked potato?  Why would someone tag baked potato messaging onto a sign for a baked potato follower?

Maybe the sign(s) in question are just in very conspicuous locations, and were the only things to deface in order to get the most visibility?  Or maybe the idiot(s) doing the graffiti actually don’t know that Karen Handel is also a Republican, and is actually on the baked potato’s side of, everything?  I mean I’m willing to wager it’s more the latter than the former, but when the day is over, it just makes whomever is doing the tagging look like the biggest dumbass of all.

Not to mention their sheer sloppiness when it comes to tagging; I mean seriously, they have put some of the worst and lowest-effort swastikas I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and the general curliness to their spray pattern suggests some effeminate penmanship.  Honestly, the swastikas are so bad, they barely look like swastikas, but more like some weird pinwheel gang tag that would seem very apropos to the bougie East Cobb Mean Street Posse that’s likely doing this.  

If I had to guess it’s some spineless white teenager(s) who is so hopped up on adrenaline for thinking they’re pulling the coup of the century by tagging fences and public spaces, that they’re rushing so horribly at making rushed and poor quality tags, that it just makes them look stupid on top of all the sad that there already is in this situation.

Everyone on the internet is a Colin Robinson until proven otherwise

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Since my daughter’s been born, mythical wife and I haven’t watched a tremendous amount of television. I may have mentioned it before, but ultimately we’re hoping to avoid exposing our child to too much screen time until she’s around two years old, because we’d prefer to be parents who can stimulate their child’s brain without having to resort to plopping them in front of a television and hoping to let digital technology raise her. Needless to say, since having a kid, we’ve watched maybe a handful of things, mostly bullshit like 90 Day Fiancé or My 600 Lb. Life.

In addition to TLC’s greatest hits, one show in particular we’ve actually worked our way through has been FX’s What We Do In the Shadows, which has been great because the episodes are short, and the plot is funny in the mockumentary style of format. The cast is outstanding and the general plot is so ridiculous and quick-paced that it’s an easy show where we can watch one or two episodes, step away from viewing for a few days or a week, and then pick right back up without much difficulty.

After blowing through the two available seasons, I’d have to say that the one character that I enjoyed the most was Colin Robinson, the energy vampire. Mostly treated as a tertiary character, his whole spiel is that he’s not one of the traditional blood-sucking vampires, but rather one who feeds off of the energy of others, including the ability to drain from other vampires. He’s basically the troll among trolls in Nandor’s house, and in my opinion, he’s the funniest character among the entire cast.

There’s one episode in particular where he’s expanding on his powers to drain energy from victims by utilizing the internet, and then it occurred to me that Colin Robinson is basically the living embodiment of every internet troll on the planet. We re-watched the first episode recently, and there’s a line he mentions during the initial character introductions where “you probably know an energy vampire,” and then it hit me like a ton of bricks that he couldn’t be any more accurate that basically we all do.

Every anonymous internet troll, asshole whom you don’t know who chimes in on a social media conversation, is a Colin Robinson. An energy vampire who’s deliberately trying to deliberately trying to get under your skin and get you to tilt, so that they can drain your energy, even from afar. Once this connection is bought in, it’s actually quite amusing to envision the face on the other end of the keyboards in any sort of internet confrontation, probably looking like Colin Robinson, a bald, middle aged Dilbert looking guy. And as much as the Colin Robinsons probably got their rocks off on feeding on your energy, there’s something empowering to know that such a dorky looking dweeb is probably the one on the other end of the interwebs from any sort of online debate.