Ownage or overkill?

Long story short: Man gets speeding ticket for going 40 in 25 zone.  Goes to trial to plead for reduced fine, ends up getting fined $1,000, a year of probation, driving school and a lifetime ban from the county.

At first glance, it’s basically an epically large punishment for a seemingly innocuous 15 mph over the limit offense.  Now most people probably wouldn’t really care about getting banned from Walton County, Georgia, considering it’s outside the perimeter, east of Atlanta and really isn’t known for anything other than being a scenic route on the way to Athens.  Honestly, in spite of the fact that the punished claims to feel that it’s unfortunate that he can’t legally visit friends he has in Walton County anymore, or capitalize on free babysitting, I can’t imagine the ban is the end of the world for him either.

The thing is however, the probation that he’s put on, which makes him legally incapable of leaving the country during the year in which it’s in effect.  Considering he’s a legal US citizen having emigrated from Jamaica, it doesn’t sound like he has a habit of visiting his homeland on a regular basis, but now it’s off the board as an option for the next year; I know people simply don’t like it when the options are taken away from them.

So ultimately, the question is was this punishment justifiable or was it overkill?

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I knew the story was going to be good when I saw “MARTA”

Long story short: Man escapes from a prisoner transport bus, two hours later is caught at a MARTA station.

I’m having a hard time deciding between whether if the prisoner was made dumber by being in the proximity of a MARTA station, or if MARTA is like a beacon of stupidity that draws its own kind like moths to lights.  Either way, while perusing through the AJC’s website, when I saw the word “MARTA” in the headline, I knew it was going to be an instant classic.

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Technological irony-slash-fail

Long story short: Despite being in prison, prisoners are somehow procuring cell phones, and using them to orchestrate crimes via other criminals not in jail, despite being behind bars themselves.

Never mind the fact that the State of Georgia claims to have the signal blocking/intercepting umbrella technology that would help prevent such things.  As far as I’m concerned what seems ironic to me is that Georgia prisons are more capable of sending and receiving data, than my gym.  Prisoners are able to send text messages and make phone calls, orchestrating elaborate crimes such as robberies and fraud while in prison, while I’m struggling to check Facebook or send/receive a text message at the gym.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #012

It’s not so much really stupid as it is ironically funny, which in the end makes it kind of stupid.

Summary: Rookie police officer hops into shotgun with superior officer, bringing a new KFC “Go Cup,” which contains fried chicken strips and potato wedges. Rookie officer is a young white male, commanding officer is rotund black male. Commanding officer looks with envy at the rookie officer’s snack. Suddenly the dispatch radio is announcing a 10-31, which is police code for crime in progress. Commanding officer eyes the rookie cop, and gives him his best “go get ’em, tiger,” and the rookie books it out of the car to go investigate. With the rookie cop now gone, the commanding officer leisurely helps himself to the abandoned chicken – cue beauty shots and call outs.

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Nope, no remorse at all

I know it’s all over the news lately, but I just felt like saying a little something about the whole New York bikers story that provoked an altercation that led to a person getting run over and paralyzed and a man beaten viciously in front of wife and daughter.

The bikers in question, in every way, shape and form, are fucked.  The only injustice that can come out of this whole situation is if the driver of the Range Rover is charged with absolutely anything, or has to pay a single dime.

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I wish I could be a police officer for one working day

I was sitting in traffic this morning, which is nothing out of the ordinary.  Unfortunately, it was worse than it usually was due to the fact that for no apparent reason, six straight traffic signals were out, and the vast populous of Atlanta is completely oblivious to the rules of the 4-way stop in such conditions.

On more than one (fifty) occasion(s), I watched as people sped off into a turn lane, dividing lane, oncoming traffic, or some other form of asphalt not designated for regular automotive traffic, and then cut in front of some schlub too slow-reacting to prevent impatient and inconsiderate assholes from cutting in front of not just them, but every single law-abiding citizen who opt to grind it out with the rest of the pack.

It’s times like these that I wish that for one day, I could be a police officer.  Not to do anything dramatic and go off on high-excitement, high-speed car chases, bust drug dealers, stop crime and be a hero.  No, I’d love to be a police officer for a single day, just so I could troll the ever-living shit out of law breakers, and by “troll,” I mean enforce the fucking law.

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Well, that was predictable

I was watching a baseball game when suddenly the scores ticker at the bottom of the screen turned red and started scrolling “GEORGE ZIMMERMAN WAS FOUND” and I mouthed the words “not guilty” before it slowly scrolled out the words “NOT GUILTY.”

My first thought was curiosity of when the first rash of race-related protests were going to start.  When the game ended, I switched to FOX News and CNN (yeah, I know, they’re not exactly the most reliable news outlets but I don’t really know of any others, nor did I really care that much to inquire), and sure enough the protests were already in full swing, and naturally it wasn’t so much about George Zimmerman being found not guilty, but about how the black man was once again wronged.

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