Tag: crime

Too easy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So wait.  You’re telling me a place called “Hood Mart” was busted for all sorts of illegal activity, including drugs and piracy?

Now what ever could have possibly led to the suspicion that ultimately resulted in the necessity for a SWAT raid with armored vehicles?

Seriously though, I don’t know if it was arrogance or ignorance to open up a joint called Hood Mart and put it in a section of town that’s generally perceived to be well, the hood.  A part of me wants to believe that it’s like that one episode of Batman the Animated Series where a property owner switches the theme of his casino to the Joker, anticipating that the real Joker will object and destroy the place, to which he could cash in on a lucrative insurance policy that just so happened to have been conveniently applied.

I think CBS Atlanta really needs to be keeping an eye out on the name of whomever owns the property that Hood Mart is on, and see if there’s insurance policies in place for like if the tenants get the place ransacked by the police or something.

Zelda fights aren’t as epic in real life

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: girl has argument with live-in boyfriend, girl calls ex-husband for consoling. Ex-husband arrives to house, confrontation with boyfriend erupts. Boyfriend happens to be a Link-cosplaying nerd, runs to Lost Woods bedroom to grab Master Sword replica to defend himself with. Husband is stabbed and slashed a few times by very real-bladed sword, but gets in some offense himself by breaking a pot over boyfriend’s head, before authorities arrive.

Imagine the arrogant, shit-eating grin on my face while I was reading this. Some days it’s really difficult for me to find something to write about, but occasionally there’s a story like this that just makes writing so fun.

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Well I’ll be damned

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: House Bill 459 passes, declaring that it is now a misdemeanor to be puttering down in the left lane on a divided highway.

In other words, it is now a ticketable offense in the state of Georgia to be cruising in the left lane when there are faster cars that would like to pass.  When this bill was initially proposed, I didn’t think it really had any chance to actually pass, as there was too much gray area, too much subjectivity, and too much room for error for it to be a viable law.  It took pretty much an entire calendar year, but not only did it pass, it passed with a landslide margin of 162-9.  Apparently, a lot of legislative talking heads are really passionate about the ability to drive without Driving Miss Daisy clogging up the left lanes.

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Ownage or overkill?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: Man gets speeding ticket for going 40 in 25 zone.  Goes to trial to plead for reduced fine, ends up getting fined $1,000, a year of probation, driving school and a lifetime ban from the county.

At first glance, it’s basically an epically large punishment for a seemingly innocuous 15 mph over the limit offense.  Now most people probably wouldn’t really care about getting banned from Walton County, Georgia, considering it’s outside the perimeter, east of Atlanta and really isn’t known for anything other than being a scenic route on the way to Athens.  Honestly, in spite of the fact that the punished claims to feel that it’s unfortunate that he can’t legally visit friends he has in Walton County anymore, or capitalize on free babysitting, I can’t imagine the ban is the end of the world for him either.

The thing is however, the probation that he’s put on, which makes him legally incapable of leaving the country during the year in which it’s in effect.  Considering he’s a legal US citizen having emigrated from Jamaica, it doesn’t sound like he has a habit of visiting his homeland on a regular basis, but now it’s off the board as an option for the next year; I know people simply don’t like it when the options are taken away from them.

So ultimately, the question is was this punishment justifiable or was it overkill?

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I knew the story was going to be good when I saw “MARTA”

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: Man escapes from a prisoner transport bus, two hours later is caught at a MARTA station.

I’m having a hard time deciding between whether if the prisoner was made dumber by being in the proximity of a MARTA station, or if MARTA is like a beacon of stupidity that draws its own kind like moths to lights.  Either way, while perusing through the AJC’s website, when I saw the word “MARTA” in the headline, I knew it was going to be an instant classic.

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Technological irony-slash-fail

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Long story short: Despite being in prison, prisoners are somehow procuring cell phones, and using them to orchestrate crimes via other criminals not in jail, despite being behind bars themselves.

Never mind the fact that the State of Georgia claims to have the signal blocking/intercepting umbrella technology that would help prevent such things.  As far as I’m concerned what seems ironic to me is that Georgia prisons are more capable of sending and receiving data, than my gym.  Prisoners are able to send text messages and make phone calls, orchestrating elaborate crimes such as robberies and fraud while in prison, while I’m struggling to check Facebook or send/receive a text message at the gym.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #012

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s not so much really stupid as it is ironically funny, which in the end makes it kind of stupid.

Summary: Rookie police officer hops into shotgun with superior officer, bringing a new KFC “Go Cup,” which contains fried chicken strips and potato wedges. Rookie officer is a young white male, commanding officer is rotund black male. Commanding officer looks with envy at the rookie officer’s snack. Suddenly the dispatch radio is announcing a 10-31, which is police code for crime in progress. Commanding officer eyes the rookie cop, and gives him his best “go get ’em, tiger,” and the rookie books it out of the car to go investigate. With the rookie cop now gone, the commanding officer leisurely helps himself to the abandoned chicken – cue beauty shots and call outs.

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