Tag: job

I don’t know why I’m at work, so I’ll muse about 2011

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m pretty sure I can count on one hand just how many people are in this office today.  Granted, I’m not complaining at the fact that I’m getting paid to sit here and do absolutely no work, but man, I certainly wouldn’t have minded sleeping in this morning.  But instead, I trudged out of bed at 6:30 a.m. to go run around the ‘hood in 36 degree weather, and here I sit, waiting for a few hours to pass, since I made it all the way out here already.  So with that in mind, and since I’ve pretty much seen the entire work-safe internet now, I suppose it’s not a bad time to sit back and catch up on some writing.  And with the end of the year literally right around the corner, why not use that as a topic?

Since I’m at the office, and don’t ever visit my own sites on the network for paranoid fear that they’ll one day find my online identity, I’m musing most of this based on what I can remember off the top of my head.  But the good news is that, as a whole, I don’t think that the encapsulated 2011 year was a very bad year at all.  Compared to 2010, it was a much improved year.  At first blush I want to say that it wasn’t anything magnificently spectacular, but the more I think about it, I guess I can say that 2011 was a pretty decent year overall.

Continue reading “I don’t know why I’m at work, so I’ll muse about 2011” →

PSA: Microsoft Word is not graphic design software

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.
MICROSOFT WORD IS NOT GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE.

Continue reading “PSA: Microsoft Word is not graphic design software” →

A feeling of validation

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

For my office’s holiday potluck party, I contributed a giant-sized side of chips and my homemade guacamole.  I’ve been making it for a few years now, and all my friends and acquaintances seem to like it fine, and I happen to think it’s pretty decent too.  But it was to the test, being served up to 30 or so of the people in the company I’m currently working for.  It was during this test that I kind of learned that maybe it’s pretty good on a slightly larger scale sample.

One of the IT guys is Spanish.  I have no idea to what his specific ethnicity is, but it’s clearly Spanish.  At one point, as he was going through the line, he remarked about how there was guacamole available, and asked who made it.  I said that I did, and watched as he took a heaping serving of it, with a fistful of chips.  I told myself “man, I hope he likes it,” which was a relative feeling, but applied more to this guy because he was Spanish and much like people would assume of my judgment of Korean food, I was hoping my guacamole would warrant his seal of approval.

Continue reading “A feeling of validation” →

So you want to be a graphic designer 101

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Where’d you go to school?  Savannah?  Parsons?  Ringling?  The Art Institutes of Blank?  Awesome, that’s a great start.  I assume you have mastery of one or several Adobe programs?  Excellent, that’s good to know.

Well guess what?  None of that means absolutely shit when you’re in the REAL working world, because 90% of the jobs you’ll be doing on a regular basis in working America will involve you primarily working with Microsoft Office products!  The holy grail of computer software, that can do absolutely nothing everything for absolutely nobody everyone!!!!!!!

Adobe InDesign may have trounced Quark as the standard within the Creative class when it comes to layout and publishing, but in the Corporate class, InDesign isn’t even worthy enough to take the soiled tissues that the almighty POWERPOINT uses to wipe its ass, and drop it into the toilet for it.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s the sad and unfortunate truth.  PowerPoint is the crown jewel of software greatness, as it’s WAY “easier” than Flash at embedding/playing video files, and so MUCH more “efficient” when it comes to creating forms and performing layout tasks!!

Adobe Photoshop may be an efficient tool amongst you nerds for making your memes and cheezeburgers, editing pictures of cats and putting esoteric jokes on top of existing graphics, but when it comes to true graphic design excellence, look no further than MICROSOFT WORD as the gold standard when it comes to getting shit done.  It only takes a genius level intellect to realize that none of the functions are decipherable without the assistance of Google to look up how the most logical of ideas are executed.  Word does everything.  Photoshop can only crank out lame jokes, while Word CAN WRITE.  Not only can it write, it comes with a library of pre-existing CLIP ART which are fail-proof when it comes to accentuating points and messages.  And you can drag and drop graphics from the internet RIGHT INTO Word, without needing to concern yourself about copyrights and photographic rights!

It’s cute that you guys went to art school or have a wealth of experience when it comes to using “design pro-grams,” but let’s get real, you guys.  If you want to make it in the real world, you got to be able to use the almighty Microsoft products in order to get there.

Random writing

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was driving through Georgia Tech campus the other day.  It’s a route that is a monumental pain in the ass, but compared to the alternative routes to get on the other side of the connector sometimes, it really is the sad lesser of evils, as opposed to trying to traverse across North, Tenth, or Fourteenth streets.  What makes it such a pain in the ass though, is mostly the fact that all across campus, pedestrians have the eternal right of way, and since they’re all a bunch of college fucktards, they’re slow footed, and spaced perfectly apart to where drivers are merciless to stop them from clogging up the roads, allowing buildups of automotive congestion to build up.

This most recent story however, is a little bit of just desserts for the sadistic.  I was two cars removed from the front of the long line of cars waiting to get through a three-way intersection, before the next wave of pedestrians began crossing the street to clog up the road a bit longer.  Tailing them all was a typical douchebag* looking bicyclist, who smugly pedaled across the intersection, and then suddenly, he stopped.  He bent over, and I couldn’t see what he was doing, other than stalling in the middle of the intersection, and making us cars have to wait even longer.  Expletives flew from my lips, before I saw him walking his bicycle onto the sidewalk, where it was revealed that one of his bike pedals had inexplicably fallen off.

Hahahahaha.  What a loser.   That’s what he gets for being a bicycle douche.

Continue reading “Random writing” →

Strange Bathroom Antics of Pre-Wash Piss Jew-Fro

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

There’s this guy on my floor that I occasionally see in the men’s room. Normally, such encounters are negligible, and certainly not worth posting about, but this guy, I find quite puzzling.  Obviously by the way he dresses and presents himself, and the fact that he doesn’t look that old, I have to assume he’s a college student, doing whatever college students are often doing in this building.  He also has a big, exaggerated Jew-fro, and wears goofy lily white Forrest Gump-like sneakers, and the combination of such an appearance kind of sticks.  He kind of looks like a thinner, younger version of the Jewish professor member of Team USA in Beerfest.

So in spite of such an identifiable appearance, the last thing a guy like him needs is idiocentric behavior that makes him arouse the suspicion of others, or maybe it’s just me, or maybe I just feel like I need to have something to write about in order to pass the time.  But as mentioned, I’ve seen him in the men’s room a few times, as it’s one of the few common places that one might randomly encounter others.

I’ll cut to the chase – this guy washes his hands first, and then proceeds to do his business.  Cue me tilting my head ever-so slightly, like a dog when it hears something piercing and unusual.  That’s fine and all, if he wants to have his hands nice and pristine before handling his junk, but on more than one instance, I’ve noticed that he doesn’t wash his hands afterward.  He may have the cleanest private parts on the face of the planet, but for the sake of social acceptance, at least pretend to wash your fucking hands after defecating, for god’s sake.

Continue reading “Strange Bathroom Antics of Pre-Wash Piss Jew-Fro” →

The masochistic art of the public decline

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The other day, I got an Evite from my agency, inviting the talent pool out to a local eatery for an appreciation happy hour.  Personally, I like these things, because it’s a good way to network with my fellow designers, as well as the occasional former client, who may or may not inquire about my working status, and make nice-nice with the agents that it does me good to be on their good side, and the hopeful off-chance that there will be some attractive like-minded snarky design nerd girl that I can shamelessly flirt with.

Looking at the Evite, which was obviously sent to well over 100 people, the ratio of yes/maybe/no was easily 30/40/30%.  The yes responses are fairly simple, people exclaiming their looking forward to the event, if anything at all.  The maybe responses are a little more snooty, with people obviously being non-committal to the event as a whole, and probably seeing it as a third-option, in the event that nothing better comes along to consume two pre-dinner hours of the afternoon.  But it’s the no responses that I find the greatest amount of amusement in.  Whereas a lot of people are pretty short and to the point when saying yes or maybe, when it comes to saying no, all these designers, grunt workers and other snobs really need to let everyone else know why they can’t make it to this pedestrian, plebeian happy hour.

Continue reading “The masochistic art of the public decline” →