
The Athletic conducted an anonymous MLB player poll, and among the topics was a query of where would you like to play if . . .
if money, rosters were not a factor
Thatās a pretty big fucking if, if you ask me, because when the day is over, the only thing that matters to baseball players, much less 98% of professional athletes, is money.
But anyway, a whopping overwhelming majority of responders to the survey, said that they would want to join the Atlanta Braves, in a hypothetical world where money and rosters were not a factor.Ā Obviously, I say such with dripping sarcasm in case itās hard to pick it out in soulless text, because only 86 total players responded to the survey and just 12.7% of players said that they would want to play for the Braves, which in doing the math, is just but 10.922 players who said that they would want to play for the Braves in a magical hypothetical world where money (and rosters) were not a factor.
All the same, that 12.7% was higher than all other teams in the league, so obviously the Braves who arenāt getting many wins on the field these days, is taking any Wās they can get anywhere else in the stratosphere, including a meaningless survey talking about fantasy realities.Ā Even if it is basically the mother of small sample sizes, which is a phrase that is often thrown around in the sports analytical community, like when a pitcher goes 5-0 to start the season and people start anointing them the Cy Young Award winner for the season.
That being said, I donāt buy it for two seconds that if the entire league were to be mandatorily surveyed, that the Braves would come out on top.Ā Thereās a reason in reality why the lionās share of marquee talents have gone to the Dodgers, Phillies, Yankees, Mets and anyone else whoās been shown to have a willingness to back up a Brinks truck to coveted free agents over the last few years, because when the day is over, money is a factor, often times the only factor, that determines where players in any sport, usually go.
The Braves are a notoriously cheap organization that is allergic to free agents, and the only ones who typically get the big bucks are homegrown talents that are often times seduced into signing early-big money deals that are often times well below the market value if they were to hang tight until free agency, preying on their youth, inexperience and promises of be rich now, instead of be fuck-you-rich later.
Theyāre an organization that has been historically funny with the money since Ted Turner ceded ownership to Liberty Media which reorganized to their very own Atlanta Braves corporation which clearly makes it way easier to hide their finances from prying eyes, and since this has been the case, the entire organization has prioritized fiscal goals over sport ones, ignoring the fact that nothing rakes in the big bucks than winning championships.
It’s a team thatās so drunk on their own Kool-Aid of tradition, lineage and history, that theyāre handcuffed by their own doing to making any sort of change, or steps towards forward progress and trying new things.Ā Itās what makes them the mother of risk-averse, and theyāre always convinced that the answer lies somewhere within the organization, as opposed to the idea that there just might be, some really talented players out there who exist in other organizations.
In the rare instances where players do consider variables like location, the City of Atlanta isnāt really the most appealing place to make a home of, unless youāre already born and bred country, and/or are guys at a stage of their lives where they want to actually think about things important to raising families, then maybe Atlanta, more importantly the bevy of suburbs north of the city like Alpharetta, Johns Creek and Milton where rich athletes tend to scurry up to, would be a positive.
But if Iām a younger cat like Trea Turner, Juan Soto, Mike Clevenger or Adley Rutschman, wanting a little bit of life in the city, I donāt think Atlanta would be really that appealing.
And the reality is that the Braves are a team that are so caught up in money and roster, that thereās no way any upper-tier talents that are on the edge of possibly making a move, would realistically consider the Braves, over organizations that are committed to winning and willing to open wallets, doors and opportunities, because lord knows weāve seen in reality, just how many players have squeezed their way onto the Dodgers and Phillies over the last few years, like an Indian or Japanese subway car, and teams like that, always make things work, versus throwing in the towel at the 7th hour and saying we canāt compete.
Either way, this was a cute little sample size scenario that clearly triggered me into vomiting out a bunch of words of the disdain that can only come from a fan of the team, about how the Braves realistically couldnāt be the organization that randomly anonymous players in the aether would actually want to play for, on a grander scale.
Not a fuckinā chance.






