Who changes their name first: the Redskins or Patriots?

Serious question.  Based on how often the phrase “patriots” has been thrown around unironically, I can’t help but wonder if people who work for the New England Patriots football franchise wince or cringe every time they hear it.  Obviously, there’s zero (I hope) correlation between a professional football team’s identity, and a legion of white supremacist fascists, but the word is the same and when enough people hear it enough with a negative connotation, the association tends to stick, even when used in completely unrelated context.

In a very short amount of time, the phrase patriots has mutated into this very ugly and unappealing definition, and I really do wonder if this keeps up, there will be enough of an uproar and backlash to the New England Patriots to where they will actually begin considering changing their entire franchise’s name.

Obviously, when it comes to the original question, it stands to believe that the Redskins are the lock to win this “race,” seeing as how the Redskins name has been put on the shelf already, but I’m not going to give them any sort of victory until they actually pick a new name and stop parading around as the interim “Football Team” they’ve used throughout 2020.

But lest we all forget, this much progress has taken almost literally my entire lifetime, so if there was any franchise that could get overtaken by lightning in a bottle, it’s definitely the Washington Washingtons. 

We live in a very fast-moving world now where there’s little patience and even less regard for repercussions and backlash, and if the association of the word patriots continues to spiral and become more solely linked to racism, white supremacy and people who would dare attempt to disrupt and overthrow governments, the sooner the New England Patriots might want to consider renaming themselves.

Think I’m going to have to rule this race, a jump ball.

Today was supposed to be a good day

Reverend Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff defeated Kelly Loeffler and David Purdue in senate races, one tighter than the other but the results the same, but Georgia basically saved the country from Mitch McConnell’s continued reign of tyranny, and now both the House and the Senate are controlled by team blue.

But then in Washington D.C., a substantially sized army of baked potato fanatics converged on, and then stormed the Capitol, many carrying arms, and interrupting the count of electoral votes to formally confirm the victory of Joe Biden.  One woman was shot and subsequently killed, the police did mostly nothing, and hundreds of ‘Murican terrorists trolled the federal landmark, forcing evacuations and hiding of numerous senators and the vice president of the United States too.

The actions of all these maniacs were all pretty deplorable no matter what way it’s looked at, but it’s the visuals alone that told a hundred different stories of one frightening reality, that among the 74 million racists that voted for the baked potato, there is an alarming number of them that are so fanatically devoted to their fuhrer that they’re willing to act in such extreme, militant ways and with such disregard to law and democracy, that they would basically participate in a flagrant coup attempt to basically ruin the entire country.

I saw this one picture of people scaling the walls of the Capitol, and all I could think of was how it reminded me of like, the white walkers that were crawling all over the walls of the cave of the Three Eyed Raven in Game of Thrones, or more accurately, the Battle at Helms Deep from The Two Towers, where orcs were scaling the walls trying to get in.  Metaphorically, there’s not much difference between all three of these comparisons; it’s a bunch of degenerate trolls trying to get into somewhere they shouldn’t be in, to do nefarious things.

A lot of fancy words are being thrown around to try and describe the whole scenario, but make no mistake that it was domestic terrorism at its very worst.  I’m not politically savvy enough to really expound on the more granular details of the whole situation, but ultimately what is prompting me to write is that despite the fact that I think that America just fucking sucks right now, it’s like a mom joke, where I’m allowed to say mean things like that, but it’s because at the root of things I do care, and the fact that we all had to bear witness to our country being so despicably disrespected and dishonored by such terrible people, it just makes me, really upset and sad.

Like, the words “it’s just sad,” escaped my mouth at least 52 times as the afternoon transpired and the sun set and we went into the evening, with baked potato trolls all still trolling around Washington D.C.  Friends of mine and I often wondering how only one of them was shot, knowing the obvious answer that them being white basically makes them bulletproof, and also wondering why nobody seemed to have been arrested, with the answer remaining the same.

But it’s because it really was truly saddening, that such a thing could even happen, and basically all perpetrators get away with it, and then we don’t have to look any further than the sore loser president with two weeks left on the job basically orchestrating the mother of temper tantrums, thinking-he’s-being-cleverly egging on his mindless goon followers to simmer down, knowing full well they really aren’t.  Everyone knows he gets off on knowing he has such a devoted following, and all people like me can really hope for is that their general protection disappears once he’s out of office.

Regardless, there’s no going back in time no matter how much we wished there was, and on this day, a legitimate coup attempt happened in America, and it was very much encouraged by a sitting president of the United States, jilted at the defeat he suffered in the last election, and would rather attempt to burn down the country that put him in power, than amicably transferring it over to his successor.

Just a day prior, the democratic process shone bright as a star in Georgia, as a record number of voters poured out, understanding that they held the more or less fate of the entire country in their hands, and people voted for the most qualified candidates to lead them forward.  And then one day later, one pissy orange oompa Loompa manages to take all that political equity, and burn it right to the fucking ground.

It’s just sad.

Oh, Georgia #745

It’s election night in Georgia, and as fate would have it, the fate of the United States Senate rests on the results of what happens here, as the two Senate seats that will either solidify the Republicans’ control, or wrest power away from that gross old shithead that always looks like he’s shit his pants, Mitch McConnell, as the tie-breaker would permanently be held by vice president Kamala Harris.

But on a more base level, a level that is more relatable and understandable by all people, whether they’re American or not, tonight’s election is basically going to determine whether Americans would be eligible to getting $2,000 of coronavirus stimulus relief (Democratic win), or if the status quo of old white men denying all in order to deny black people and other minorities from getting any sort of financial relief (Republican).

Who really knows what’s going to happen.  When the polls closed, blue shot out to the lead from early precincts reporting, but with over 2,000 in the state, such points would be meaningless as all the racist hicks and rednecks who vote auto-red are tabulated in, and at the time I’m writing this, both Warnock and Ossoff’s leads have been slashed heavily, and we’re sitting on the tightrope margin that pundits originally predicted.  It’s anyone’s game at this point, and my only hope really is that more Georgians want a shot at $2,000 a head, to where blue remains in striking distance when all the precincts are called, and that the mail-in ballots that won the presidential election in November, can do the same thing over the next week or two as they’re counted last.

The thing is, red is still in the driver’s seat, as blue has to go 2/2 with victories for both Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff, while red only needs just one of Kelly Loeffler or David Purdue to win in order for the Senate to maintain their majority.  But I was pessimistically fatalistic about the presidential election and was pleasantly relieved, and like most Americans who would like the chance at $2,000 smackeroos, I’d much rather see blue prevail over two money-laundering mannequins.

Regardless, election night isn’t what prompted tonight’s brog drivel, but it is worth mentioning, because basically the fate of America really does fall into the prickly hands of Georgians. 

What did prompt me to start writing tonight was this particularly amusing article about how jobber former-president baked potato has decided that idiot Georgia bubba governor Yosemite Sam, cost him the election, and has vowed to campaign against him come 2022, when he would be up for re-election.

Continue reading “Oh, Georgia #745”

The year-end post, circa 2020

This video by Carters encapsulates how I feel extremely succinctly.  I know 2020 has been a historically catastrophic year by any number of measures, and I’m not going to even try and change anyone’s mind who’ve already decided that there’s absolutely nothing at all redeemable about it.  It’s a fair judgment, and there’s tons of justification to where I just have to shrug and agree that such X and other Y really are terrible things, and leave people alone to continue believing that 2020 was the worst year in human existence.

Frankly, if not for the one obvious event in my life this year, I’d probably be right there with them.  But because of said event, there’s absolutely nothing else that could really occur that can make me possibly think that 2020 was anything other than among the greatest years of my life.  Like many, I too know my share of people whom coronavirus has dually affected throughout the year, or had some very unfortunate events or news take place, and my heart genuinely, sincerely goes out to them, and I wish for nothing but the best for them and their loved ones.

But nothing is going to change my perspective on 2020 being a magnificent year, because nothing has been a greater event in my life than the birth of my daughter, right before all the shit really began to hit the fan.  And throughout the remainder of the year, for every piece of horrible, shitty news, note about someone dying, bad day at work, or any other reason for stress and unhappiness, I was always mere steps away from being able to go pick up my daughter and hold her in my arms and will away the negativity.

As ironic as it may seem, and I’ve said it as much, as much as coronavirus and the global pandemic have been devastating to the world throughout the year, it’s inadvertently put me in the most optimal position in the sense that I’ve gotten to work from home since the shit hit the fan, and I’ve gotten to spend a tremendous amount of time more raising my daughter than if the world wasn’t in lockdown and I had to go back to work in the office while my child would be in a daycare, in the hands and responsibility of people I don’t know. 

I don’t fucking want that, even if there were no coronavirus in play.  I’ve been fortunate and I treasure all the time I’ve had and will continue to have being close to my kid, and it’s ironic that I have to thank the selfish stupidity of ‘Muricans for being so stupid and greedy that they can’t or refuse to comply to the behaviors that would’ve eradicated all of this if we just had some collective cooperation.

But outside of my child and coronavirus, 2020 has been somewhat of an eventful year.  Yes, most of it was bad, but not everything was completely putrid.  And as I tend to do every year, I take some notes on a daily basis of the things that happen that are remotely interesting to me, so I guess behind the jump, we’ll take a look back through the year that everyone loves to hate and can’t wait to see end:

Continue reading “The year-end post, circa 2020”

All I want for Christmas is for people to put their fucking political signs away

This is a house in my actual neighborhood.  Prior to the presidential election, all they had were the laughable “CHOOSE FREEDOM, VOTE REPUBLICAN” sign as well as the requisite Potato / Puppet sign that 74 million other racists in the country proudly plopped onto their properties.

Full disclosure, I deliberately went on walks in my neighborhood in many of the days after it was called that Joe Biden was the elected winner, because the weather wasn’t terrible, I wanted to get out of the house, take my daughter out in the stroller to get some fresh air, but most importantly, take inventory of all the racists in the neighborhood to see who was taking their signs down and who wasn’t.

At one point, this specific house took their signs down.  I was pleased.  If there’s one thing that the regime of the baked potato really exposed was that there are a frighteningly high amount of racists in this country, and are proud to tell everyone they are, and no more indicative than a sign for the potato and his puppet, and despite the fact that the baked potato losing isn’t going to magically take the racism out of all 74 million of his dumbass supporters, ignorance is bliss, and I’d rather all these assholes go back into obscurity.

But because Georgia has become ground zero for the next major battleground, the Senate, where two run-off elections that will decide the two remaining seats that will determine whether Mitch McConnell will have control or not, the political bullshit most certainly has not ended here, and has in fact, gotten kind of worse, than before the presidential election.  I’ve literally received mail from Democratic boosters in other states, bemoaning the importance of my vote in Georgia, and how the royal we control the fate of the country in our hands.

On the right, we have Kelly Loeffler and David Purdue, two literal sock puppets who have a tremendous track record for insider trading and other self-interests, but are firmly entrenched in their positions because the country has 74 million racists that auto-vote for the names that their lord kings tell them to vote for.

And on the left, we have Reverend Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff vying to oust their opponents.  I like Warnock, but I can kind of understand why Ossoff turns voters off, seeing as how he already lost a very public special election, but the reality is that I’d rather vote for a Vidalia onion and a boiled peanut over Loeffler and Purdue.

But once it was established that all eyes would be on Georgia entering 2021, not only has Georgia seen no shortage of political bullshit, the brainless Republican supporters are tripling down, digging their heels in, and continuing to root for their parade of assholes like Loeffler and Purdue, and the signs are popping up in droves.

And in the case of this clown in my neighborhood, not only did they plant their own Loeffler and Purdue signs in their yard, they went ahead and put back their baked potato sign, as if it’s like a Game Genie that will enhance the chances of these self-serving insider traders.

Continue reading “All I want for Christmas is for people to put their fucking political signs away”

Few things are as satisfying as watching shitheads turn on each other

More specifically: after losing Georgia to Democrats for the first time since Bill Clinton, the baked potato publicly lashes out at Georgia governor Bubba Kemp for not helping him cheat to win, states he is ashamed to have ever endorsed him

Actually the headline is a little inaccurate, as it’s more accurate to say that the baked potato has turned on Bubba, while Bubba, in typical Bubba fashion has cowered completely to his lord king in chief and has gone completely silent in response, like a scared cat that just saw a cucumber.  Just like he went completely quiet after the baked potato publicly lambasted him after “reopening” Georgia way too soon amidst the pandemic, he’s basically in hiding until the heat dies down.

There’s really not much more to say about this, honestly.  Baked potato is just steaming because he lost Georgia, a state that’s historically almost automatically red, and for the first time since I’ve lived here, I can really say that I’m proud to be a Georgia resident. 

I wrote a few more paragraphs but Word shit the bed on me and lost it all, and I have no desire to re-write any of it because it’s about politics and once is too much as it is, so I’ll just leave it at the fact that I love watching shitheads turn on each other, and it’s great to see them flaming each other instead of respectively griefing the state and the country instead.

The 2020 Election Post

Over the span of the last week, as I’m sure it’s been for large swaths of American citizens, it’s been an absolute roller coaster of events, emotions and life in general.  I think it’s safe to say that the 2020 presidential election was possibly the most high-stakes, emotional and draining election that there’s been in generations, and it’s probably taken its toll on the millions of Americans who cared about what the end results were.  It certainly has done all of that and then some to my household, and I for one am tremendously relieved that it’s over, and the end result was the one we were hoping for.

But there were still a ton of things that swirled through my mind throughout the week of the election and the long, dragged out process that transpired in order for it to reach its conclusion, and because I don’t really want to make a bunch of posts about it or politics in general, as I’ve made way more political posts over the last few years than I thought I ever would, I’m going to do my best to consolidate it to a singular post and hopefully be done with it, and try and get back to writing about anything else, but probably falling back on the topics of how chaotic my life is as a first-time father and talking about poopy diapers.

As election day came and went, I remember feeling like there was a massively important sports game where I had a tremendous amount of vested interest in – meaning I didn’t want to know what was going on as it was going on, since I always feel like solely me and my participation in watching it will entirely sway the result into precisely what I did not want to see happen.  That being said, as the afternoon rolled into the evening, polling stations closed down, votes began officially being tabulated and counted, and news outlets all turned into gigantic tickers with silhouettes of the states of the United States turning red or blue but mostly red, much to my disgust.

There were many states that it was no surprise to see go red, and the real game was in all of the states that were known battleground states, as well as the few states in which always are the ones that sway most of the elections in the past, like Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Michigan.  And because all of flyover America have fewer electoral votes, it’s always disheartening all the same to see the vast majority of the land of the United States glowing red from the onset, and it always creates that feeling of blue team always feeling like they’re playing from behind, and as sports fans, how much it sucks to always feel like you’re playing from behind.

My wife and I both went to bed feeling disgusted with the state of the country, that in spite of the tyranny endured throughout the last four years, all the bullshit, all the abrasion, all the racism, all the flagrant contrarianism, all the lies, deceit and just plain shitty leadership, the baked potato was still putting up a legitimate challenge to the presidency.  I mean, this was absolutely no surprise at all to me, and I’d warned anyone who would be willing to listen that this was going to be the case, and to expect this, but it was still disheartening to actually see it come to fruition, because in spite of my predictions, I always hoped that this would’ve been like a 2008 election where the victor was determined and announced by 10 pm.

But then the following day, America witnessed as Joe Biden’s electoral vote lead continued to grow, while the baked potato’s EV count remained static.  Maps of the US showed the states that had yet to be called showing surprising splits, and fewer more surprising than North Carolina and Georgia, two notoriously historically always-red states that were wavering.  Wisconsin and Michigan slowly tipped over into favoring Biden and were eventually declared wins for team blue.  Meanwhile, Pennsylvania was decidedly in favor of the baked potato, but the tremendous amounts of mail-in ballots that had yet to be tabulated, were speculated to probably be mostly in favor of Biden, and if and when they were all counted, a blue victory was to be expected.

Continue reading “The 2020 Election Post”