The brutal absolute of the rule of three

As those people who read my writing might be aware, I don’t really write that much about my personal family life.  There’s not really any particular reason for that, except for the thought that I guess there are veils that I prefer to keep on certain things depending on the audience.  Plus, the internet is already full of heavy and glum things to read about, and I’ve always preferred to try and write about less serious and more whimsical things, or at least dunk on all of the stupid shit that the City of Atlanta or State of Georgia does.

But after the third death in the last six weeks, the prevalent thought in my head is just how brutally absolute that the whole rule of three really seems sometimes.  I forewent my bachelor party due to a death in the family of someone very close to me, and as much as it probably would’ve been great to get smashed in Vegas and piss away a few hundred dollars, it was more important to be with my brother in a tragic time.  A week later, there was a death in the family of mythical fiancée, and although this one was kind of anticipated due to obvious circumstances, a passing is a passing, and it’s no less sad because we could see it coming.

This morning, I found out that an uncle of mine passed away.  Which, to me was kind of a surprise, but at the same time kind of wasn’t.  I knew his health was deteriorating, but it’s been quite a few years since he had a quintuple (read: five) bypass, so it always just seemed like he survived a tough ordeal and was on his way to simply living out the rest of his life in relative normalcy.  He watched both his sons grow up, get married and father their own kids, becoming a grandfather four times over.

My family has this group chat that I regularly keep my eye on, to see general chatter amongst my cousins and aunts.  I had seen that he had been admitted to the hospital due to a complication in regards to an artery, but according to the chat, it seemed like he made it through, and I’d see pictures of him sitting back and reading the paper, or when he was out on a walker doing physical therapy.  I felt some relief that it looked like he was on the mend.

But then I get some messages from one of my cousins, telling me that they’re not going to be able to make it to the wedding, on account of my uncle’s hospitalization.  And although I’m disappointed losing headcount this close to the wedding, if there was any reason that could be justified and understood, this was it.  I called my mom, because I wanted more details, and it turns out that he’s doing way worse than the family chat made it seem like.  He was mostly immobile, relying on an oxygen machine in order to breathe, and the kicker was that the only times he wasn’t actively in pain was whenever the morphine kicked in.

And then this morning, I get a call at a very unusual 6 a.m., and I knew the news was not going to be good.  Just like that, right after talking about him the night prior, he was gone.

Since it’s so fresh, I have no idea what the next few days are going to be like in terms of a service or funeral.  All I know is that the likelihood of me going to another funeral is pretty good, provided flight availability isn’t catastrophic.

I couldn’t help but think about how the rule of three came into play again here, but this wasn’t like professional wrestlers, athletes or nostalgic celebrities.  These were people that were entwined with people in my everyday life that were passing, which means it was hitting home just that much harder, because I’m seeing the sadness and grief affecting people right in front of me, and enduring the helpless feeling that there’s nothing at all that can be done to snap them out of it.

It’s scary just how seemingly absolute and inevitable the rule of three tends to be.  After the first two funerals, I can’t say that the thought didn’t cross my mind, but I couldn’t help but feel this sinking feeling when I found out that my uncle was going to the hospital.  I’m not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination, I’ve long since walked away from my Catholic upbringing.  But much of my extended family are, and watching and reading them talk about the prayers they were having for the family, and then the initial news that my uncle’s surgery was successful gave promise that maybe things were headed in the right direction, and there just might be reward for those with faith, as long as they’re good people.

But as stated, there was way more to the story than what was made available in an online group chat, and now the inevitable third is gone.  The rule of three strikes again, but it’s unfortunately a little too close to home this time.

Let’s just hope that it’s done now, and that the people in my world can not have to go to any more funerals this year.

Life is fleeting

Over the weekend, a work colleague of mine passed away, inexplicably.  She wasn’t much older than I was.  I saw her on Monday from afar, as I no longer sit right next to her like I used to before my promotion.  Apparently, she left early, citing that she wasn’t feeling well; and nothing more was thought of it, because the seasonal flu was very much on our floor, and numerous people had already succumbed to it, and were either already called in sick, or were leaving early.

Little did I realize that it would be the last time I would ever see her.  It’s frightening to think of life being as fragile as that.  As we were primarily co-workers, there’s only so much that I really knew of her, but I never knew if she would have any health issues to where the flu or byproducts of the flu could actually become lethal.

But aside from being “just” co-workers, this was a person that I probably would have considered my closest confidant at work.  I don’t fraternize with my peers a tremendous amount, and especially now that I’m in management, I didn’t necessarily always feel that it was that appropriate, so it somewhat of a big deal that she and I were as candid and frank with each other in our own hushed conversations throughout the work days. 

When I was still an artist, she was my coordinator, and we had a working relationship that was just about the epitome of a well-oiled machine.  We came into our departments at relatively the same time, and each went through our series of lumps learning said departments, and the first year of working together was bumpy at first, but solely in work process, and not personally.  She was an extremely hard and diligent worker who chose to be in our department, whereas I was assigned to it; she wanted the challenge of dealing with a complex department, while I just liked having a job.

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jk, this is the worst of social media

Well, that didn’t take long.  Leave it to the internet to accept any challenge whenever anyone thinks they’ve hit a low point, to somehow continue to find more ways to test peoples’ opinions on humanity further.

By now, I’m pretty sure most people heard about how a shooter converged on YouTube’s headquarters in San Bruno, California and wounded three people before supposedly killing herself afterward.  She was apparently really, really pissed off about how she felt like her First Amendment rights were being violated, so she flexed her Second Amendment right to bear arms and take it out on a bunch of people, most of whom probably had nothing to do with content suppression or the censorship of her stupid “channel” that wasn’t nearly as big of a deal as she thought it might’ve been.

Man, to think back in the day (2017), if you had a dispute with a company and they weren’t paying you, you first try to settle it by yourself, and failing that, get a lawyer, contact the Better Business Bureau, etc., etc., and try to settle it legally.  But nah, forget all that time-wasting shit, let’s just go out and get some guns and shoot up their offices.  That’ll get you paid real quick.

Either way, yet another shooting spree on American soil just occurred, and to nobody’s surprise, society’s gotten so desensitized to this happening that it’s pretty much already secondary news by this point.  Probably because there weren’t enough casualties save for the shooter herself, so there’s not enough bleed for this story to lead, for long enough.

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Life is complicated

I specifically earmarked this particular day to write about how I was about to embark on a vacation back to Korea, with a brief stop in the Philippines, and how excited I was.  It was exciting to be going back to the Motherland, because I had such an amazing time when I went for the first time last year, and I was really pumped up about this time going with mythical gf, since she’s such a Koreeb, and it would be fun to kind of witness the excitement of a first visit through her eyes as well.

This is a trip that had been planned for the better part of the entire 2017 year, where lots of money, planning and more money had gone into nailing down travel and lodging in order to get the optimal prices at the optimal times in order to accommodate both our work schedules and allotted vacation times.  But it was done a long time ago, and since then, it’s always been the constant milestone to look forward to, the thing we’ve been counting down the months, then the weeks, and then the days, up until today, when we eventually embark.

But as its often said, life doesn’t operate in a vacuum, and an infinite number of things exist all around us at any given time.  I don’t really know to segue to it in a smoother transition, but based on the title of this post alone, it should be expected that an unfortunate turn is bound to happen.  But there’s a medical issue in my family and to cut to the chase, there is an uncertainty on the amount of time this person has left. 

As far as I’m concerned, this could not possibly have happened at any worse of a time, but naturally I am not the actual person concerned.  But it doesn’t make it suck any less that a life hangs in the uncertain balance, and I’m in a trapped feeling position of not knowing what I can do, because life isn’t about me, there are others involved, and every choice affects others in a variety of manners.

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This is America, circa 2017

Something that should never happen: a man is ashamed and full of regret because he decided to stand during the National Anthem, because it broke solidarity with the rest of his peers

Try to take a few steps back and look at the scenario as a whole: this is a man, a veteran, who served the country so that people could have the freedom to make individual choices – is full of regret, because he chose to stand for the National Anthem.

As an American, this is an absolutely heartbreaking story, and as I’m sure so many people say on a regular basis these days, just what the fuck is wrong with our country?

I’ll be honest: when Colin Kaepernick first refused to stand for the National Anthem last season, my knee-jerk reaction was disdain and vitriol for a player I didn’t care for as a player.  But through lots of deliberation and pondering opinions from all around me, I’ve kind of come around to a more neutral position that can see both sides of the argument.  Personally, I’ll never not stand for the flag and/or the National Anthem, but I can’t really say I’m going to criticize those who choose to peacefully protest the gesture, as long as they’re doing such because they legitimately believe in it and aren’t just being sheep, in light of current America.  After all, having the freedom to choose to stand or not is basically the quintessential point of American freedom.

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Looks like MARTA is headed back to the dark ages

This is most definitely bad news for Atlanta: Keith Parker set to resign as CEO of MARTA, after five years of trying to improve the maligned transit authority

I know I’ve often been the first guy to offer un-constructive criticism or unnecessary sarcasm to just about everything Keith Parker has done, or just about anything pertaining to MARTA.  But the truth is, I really should have eaten a good measure of my words throughout the last five years, because in spite of the snark and wise cracks, Keith Parker accomplished more with MARTA than I ever would have anticipated.

It’s easy to be jaded about things related to infrastructure in Atlanta, because this is a major market in the United States, but often times feels like it’s operating like the Podunk town that those not from the south tend to associate to places located in the south.  The politicians in the city are flagrantly abusive in their privileges, yet nothing ever seems to change.  So something like MARTA, the near-pointless metro service in the city always exists as an easy target for criticism, and when Keith Parker came to town, it was always easy to assume another crooked stooge was taking a notable position to likely flounder, make promises that would go unfulfilled, pad his pockets, and then get the fuck out when things are at their worst (like the Beltline).

But over the last five years, Keith Parker has made some tangible improvements to MARTA, despite the fact that I would champion all the flops but none of the real successes.  Ridership did improve, although it got a massive assist when I-85 burned to the ground earlier in the year, and the general consensus of riders seems to show improvement, and not nearly as much shithead behavior on the trains, allegedly.

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Oh, Georgia #984

A year ago, Georgia governor Nathan Deal vetoed a measure that would allow licensed gun owners carry concealed weapons on college campuses.

Well, apparently Nathan Deal was either on vacation this week, or was too busy counting money from all movie studios and/or European car makers shoveling money into his coffers, because for whatever reason, the bill came back for 2017, and somehow, it passed

Licensed gun owners will now be allowed to carry concealed firearms on Georgia college campuses.

Don’t worry, they won’t be allowed on housing or athletic facilities.  But who’s going to notice if they make it onto them?  After all, they’ll be concealed, so who’s going to notice when some unhinged college kid brings firearms onto campus, legal or otherwise?  Nothing bad can happen at all.  Nope, nothing at all.

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