Tag: fail

I’ve never been more unafraid of an armed individual in my life

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the weekend, we sent the kids to grandma’s house so that we could get some major organization done at home.  Frankly even with the help of our au pair, there would’ve been a lot of going in and out of the girls’ rooms well into the evenings that made it optimal to just have them not be present in order to maximize productivity.  That being said, it also afforded all of us in the house, to be adults for two days, and on the second evening, we collectively decided to get out of the house.

At one point, we went into a 2nd and Charles to kill a little bit of time; at one point in my life, this place would’ve been my heaven, since I like comic books, video games, books and all sorts of the nerdy crap that they sell and buy there, but at this point in my life, I just want to look and don’t want to actually bring any more shit into my house that I feel is already full of a lot of unneeded crap.

While we were there though, I was looking through comic trade hardcovers, and not far to my left, I could hear some guy doing some serious mansplaining about the differences between the Infinity War in comics versus the MCU.  A smirk emerged on my face at hearing him blather on, because he was perpetuating all sorts of stereotypes of comic book geeks inside the bookstore.

As I passed by him, I couldn’t help but notice that beneath his vest that I have to imagine was put on completely non-ironically, was a holster equipped with what I’m pretty sure was a Glock of minimal size, I’m no expert on the granular details, especially when I could only see the handle.  The point is, the guy was carrying openly, which is completely legal in the state of Georgia.

But as the title of this post states, I don’t think I’ve ever been more unafraid of an armed individual in my life until I saw this guy.  Think about it, the guy is carrying a firearm, presumably loaded, completely in public, at a place of business that probably had upwards of 80-100 people inside of it at the time I saw him.  We live in the age where mass shootings happen at almost a weekly basis in similar conditions, and not only did I feel zero concern for my life, all I could feel were jokes formulating in my brain instead.

Like, this guy got dressed with the express intention of leaving the house, and going to 2nd and Charles of all the places in the Metro Atlanta area, and as he’s mentally inventorying all the things he needs prior to walking out the door, and oh yeah my gun is one of the things on his checklist.

“Honey, we have to get to 2nd and Charles before they close at 8, have you seen my gun?”
“Yeah baby, it’s right next to my Loungefly”

On action television and in film, there are occasionally montages of heroes getting ready to go into battle, and they’re equipping themselves with a gun before they go into the fights of their lives.  And then we have Firearm Fred over here consciously strapping on his holster to go into the nerd store, as if he might have to flex it on someone trying to get the last pack of Yu-Gi-Oh booster packs ahead of him.

Seriously, I was giggling to myself for the rest of the night at the thought of Sidepiece Samuel actually feeling like he had to be carrying a firearm inside of a fucking 2nd and Charles.  I’ve never felt so opposite of concerned or intimidated by another human being’s presence in my entire life.  I felt like even if he were a mass shooter ready to pounce, I could probably take him without there being any loss of life; I know it’s not really a laughing matter, but that’s how seriously felt looking at this guy.

Regardless, my au pair got a kick out of seeing such a sight with her own eyes.  And after we took her to a Hooters for dinner, I told her that she basically had the most American night of her life, having seen an armed individual out in public, followed by the aforementioned Hooters for dinner.  Welcome to America!

I kind of respect the brutal honesty

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s not personal, Brooklyn. I just hate this city, the fans, and everyone in this organization and want to watch them burn out of spite.

The best part of the whole quote is where he says “It’s not personal.”

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t pay that much attention to the NBA these days, but I know who Kyrie Irving is, and when I saw this come up in my news feed, I had to scrunch my brow and just go wow.  These are some bombs of words to be flinging out there, and in an age where people are reluctant to burn bridges because the internet has made the world small, everything is basically recorded forever, and people just don’t know when their words can come back to haunt them, Kyrie Irving still gave zero fucks and basically told not just the Brooklyn Nets, the team that he actively plays for and signs his paychecks, but the entire city of Brooklyn, New York, that he hates them and fuck you all.

Personally, I’m not a fan of Kyrie Irving; he’s this enigma of a human being that I feel was blessed with basketball talent, coasted through life, has enjoyed immense success professionally and made a tremendous amount of money, but is still somehow an insufferable asshole who seems to get off on being a contrarian.

However, personal feelings aside, like the title of this post says, I kind of respect the brutal honesty he had no hesitation in letting become a quote.  At some point in most peoples’ lives, who hasn’t been furious with an employer before?  Whether they cared to admit or not, felt the same kind of feelings towards those jobs, as he felt about the Brooklyn Nets?  And on top of the discontent with his employer, in the world of sports, fans are about the most insufferable people on the face of the planet, much less ones from Brooklyn, New York.

I don’t really like Kyrie Irving, but I can only imagine the amount of bullshit he heard from fans on a regular basis.  In spite of my personal feelings, I’m not going to deny for a second that the guy is talented as all hell, and is genuinely a generational-level talent; when he actually feels like putting in the effort.  He can score, he can pass, and he can take over games by himself; I imagine a lot of the shit he hears on the regular is why he hasn’t delivered a championship for as much money as he’s making, as if sports fans were completely convinced that one guy could actually accomplish victory entirely by themselves.

Michael Jordan couldn’t.  Kobe Bryant couldn’t.  LeBron James couldn’t.  They all had good teams surrounding them, and unfortunately for Kyrie Irving, he hasn’t had the right good team surrounding him since 2016, when he had LeBron James piloting the Cleveland Cavaliers team he was on.

So I kind of get and I do enjoy the unfiltered venom Kyrie Irving had to say about the Nets and the city of Brooklyn itself, and I applaud him for raising the bar for any discontented professional athlete that is demanding to be traded.

Continue reading “I kind of respect the brutal honesty” →

This story tickles me in a way that only other parents would get

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of us, one of us: extreme tidy-er Marie Kondo admits to giving up on extreme tidiness and that her house is messy

This is what we would call a pivot, in the working world.  I didn’t realize that Marie Kondo was two years younger than me, and it probably would’ve been a real fucking chore to maintain the air of minimalist perfection for the rest of her life in order to maintain her brand, not like she really needs it anymore considering her book has sold over 40 million copies and her Netflix show had already been a big hit.

Coming out to the public to explain that she’s mostly given up on being tidy, and that her own home was messy, probably the smartest thing to do.  Better to disclose the intel on her own terms instead of having someone find it out, disclose it on the internet, and have the wrath of the internet be all over her calling her a fraud and a hypocrite that tells other people what to do with all their shit but doesn’t know how to handle her own.

But what this really boils down to is the fact that the reason why the Queen of Clean has become the Herald of Hoarding just like that, is the same reason why millions of people like me struggle to maintain our own capabilities of tidiness as much as we’d like to: kids.

Her book went gangbusters in 2011, but then she got married in 2012.  Presumably it wasn’t long before did kids come into the equation, so it’s actually very impressive to me that she had the wherewithal to even entertain producing her Netflix series that dropped in 2019, which either means she was an absent parent or her husband filled in admirably, perhaps both.

But as is often the case, once the number of kids begins to outnumber the adults in a family unit, that is where the shit begins to hit the fan.  And this is coming from someone who’s family is currently at a 1:1 ratio, and I still feel like I’m losing control all the time.  I couldn’t imagine bringing another into the home, and mythical wife and I take measures to make sure that such will become an impossibility.

And in Kondo’s case, third child enters the fray, and suddenly she’s no longer able to keep up with being KonMari, professionally, or in her own personal life.  I think it’s hilarious that she didn’t just go from “no longer being tidy,” to being “my house is messy” because frankly that’s the kind of transition that my household went through when kids started entering the equation.

The point of all this is that kids quite literally, break anyone.  If they can break a wealthy multi-media success like Marie Kondo, they’ll have no problem at all busting up the lives of all the rest of us plebes who decide to reproduce and repopulate, and the more non-parents can comprehend just how difficult it is, the better chance of understanding and empathy can emerge.

Of course David Chang thinks he’s too good for Costco’s rotisserie chicken

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Not surprising, considering he’s an arrogant star-fucker: David Chang declares Costco’s signature $4.99 rotisserie chicken as “inedible”

The last time I brought up David Chang, I stated that I have a love-hate opinion of the guy, concluding that I was like 40-60 in favor of not cool.  But after hearing him shit on Costco’s rotisserie chickens, I think the needle pegs to 0-100.  The second season of Ugly Delicious wasn’t nearly as good as the first, and it’s pretty apparent that he’s so drunk on his own bullshit  and swept up in his own celebrity that he’s incapable of remembering where he probably came from.

Because I would wager money that in his lifetime, he’s consumed a number of Costco rotisserie chickens.  He grew up in the same area where I grew up in Northern Virginia, and regardless of geography, ALL Koreans love going to Costco, because of the savings available there, no matter how rich or poor they are.  And when it comes to getting bargains, pretty much few things on the planet are on the same level as Costco’s rotisserie chickens.

In fact, I bet his own parents in NOVA still go to Costco on the regular, pulling up in their probably Lexus, and there’s even a good chance that they themselves are still buying rotisserie chickens.  Maybe not necessarily to eat straight out of the package, but to shred up and use in a variety of other Korean dishes, that Chang alleges that still learns things from his mom.

But as for Chang himself, it’s clear that he thinks he’s too good for Costco chicken, and that the perma-$4.99 birds are way beneath him.  After spending the last few years gallivanting around the world and eating foreign foods on Netflix’s dime, and kissing the asses of Hollywood celebrities who all always think they’re some global foodies, he’s completely lost touch with the rest of the world that isn’t wealthy, and has jobs that isn’t opening overrated shit restaurants with weeby names despite being Korean, and might actually see Costco chickens as more than just an economic convenience.

Not everyone has the choice to pick Costco over Sprouts Alhambra, because Costco’s chicken is just too economically friendly that they can’t not buy them, even if the company has disclosed they lose money on every bird they sell because they don’t want to lose the customer faith.  To some, Costco chicken is convenient to process into other recipes, and to those who are workout buffs, the chickens are the absolute biggest bang for the buck as far as protein consumption is concerned.

But all this shit is lost on a celebrity fuck-boi like David Chang has become.  Yeah I’m sure he’s manufacturing hot takes like this in order to draw attention to his likely shitty podcast that he’ll probably abandon within six months because nobody is capable of playing the long game, but I don’t think it’s unrealistic to see that he’s gotten a little too big to be able to understand just why Costco rotisserie chickens are so popular.

Perhaps he should stick to trying to rip off Chick Fil-A sandwiches and falling short, or making bougie gourmet mac and cheese that still falls short to Kraft from his own wife.

Letterkenny S11: what was the point of this?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I recently wrapped up watching Letterkenny season 11, and I was left with this feeling of, what was the point of this season?  As quirky and Canadian redneck Seinfeld-y the show can be, most of the later seasons at least had some kind of storyline that the plot gravitated back towards at the end of every few episodes; Wayne and Tanis, Wayne and Marie Fred, Katy and Dierks, the hockey season; to me, the charm of the show was that when it actually narrowed its focus to some centralized storylines, the quality became untouchably good.

Sure, most everyone loves the show for its cold opens, the long-game jokes that the show commits to using even after multiple seasons, and the endless array of one-liners.  But after season nine (the hockey season), the show has seemingly plateaued, and it’s like Jared Keeso and the rest of the showrunners have no clue on what to do next, and until they do, they’re just kind of putting out a bunch of stop-gap one-off episodes with no centralized plot, but also no sense of heart and soul that some of the preceding seasons managed to capture.

Everyone knows that S10’s objective was to set up the Shoresy spin-off show, to which I think was a little bit (read: a lot) of a flex by Keeso to make up a fluffy season of Letterkenny to launch a show that basically lets him play hockey on a network’s dime, and the quality of the season was really mediocre.  I likened it to Ocean’s Twelve, which was an excuse for George Clooney and gang to have a working Italian vacation, while making a turd of a film, but at least there was still an objective for S10 to accomplish.

And in all fairness, I rather liked Shoresy a lot, because they established a central storyline, and no matter what hijinks or parade of one-liners the characters got into the rest of the season, it always gravitated back towards it.  It seemed apparent that a little bit more heart and soul went into Shoresy than it did Letterkenny, and if there’s one thing I’ve always said about any business, which television shows are, it’s don’t stray too far from what brought you to the dance.

But getting back to S11 of Letterkenny, not only was it short at just six episodes, I have no idea what the whole point of this season was.  I couldn’t really tell if there were even any seeds for a potential plot to have in the future, and the whole season felt more like it was making episodes for all of the usual suspects to get a paycheck, as well as basically being a sounding box for Keeso’s pet peeves.

They kind of had one small plot revolving around a degen trying to turn over a new leaf, but it’s resolved in the sixth episode, and if that really was the only real story of the season, much like Dune, you only needed to read/watch the last 30 pages/minutes, and that was the whole story right there.

Otherwise, it was just a checklist for everyone to make an appearance; Glenn got a good bit of time to shine with his dialogue, Jonesy who looked like he got jacked in S10, looks like he lost his gains and Riley found them, and Bonnie McMurray’s actress looks like she’s had a little too much work done to herself and doesn’t look particularly healthy.  Wished there was more Tanis and less of the Dycks, but when you only produce six episodes and call it a season, what can you do about having enough screen time to breathe?

I’m not mad, just disappointed.  I really loved the journey of watching the show from seasons 1-9, but the last two have just been really below standard, and I hope they get their shit together for a future season, otherwise this is just a classic case of a show getting big, but then running out of ammo to keep up the good fight.

Blame yourselves and god

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Y’all did this to yourselves: The Home Depot changes pay policy to pay hourly associates down to the minute instead of rounding to nearest quarter hour

When I was an hourly associate for THD, I learned pretty quickly about the quarter hour rounding mechanism of the time clock.  I typically liked to work 8-4-ish in order to help negate Atlanta’s shitty traffic for this was still during the age of commuting a long, long time ago.  I learned pretty quickly that I had until 8:07 to punch in and still “be on time,” and that I could begin my walk out the building at 3:50, and make sure to punch out at 3:53, and I would be credited for having been there until 4.

I wasn’t really ever a massive nickel-and-dimer while I was hourly, but I’d be lying if I didn’t let the notion of “giving away” some work influence some of the things I did in the office in order to make sure that I would be on the more favorable side of the rounding than on the negative.  Seldom did I let myself get rounded down, and occasionally oopsie, I’ve got a quarter hour of OT now, my bad, but I can justify it lol.

But the point is, just about everyone knew about the way the clock worked, and you’d never see more people be obvious about it than at like 3:50 or 4:50 pm where people are milling around, walking a lap around Main Street, waiting out those three minutes from where seven minutes turns into eight minutes, and it would be the right time to punch out and get credited for 15 minutes.

And of course The Home Depot knew about it too, but in spite of my shitty last boss, I still hold the company in high regard, and they knew all their hourlies were doing what they were doing, but as long as the work got done, on time, fucking let them.

Now I’m sure the initiative for the dissent of this probably started at the store level, because individual store managers are more likely to be tryhards on power trips who want to flex their position onto their subordinates, and I could totally see a blowhard store manager get on the case of associates who are threatening to encroach on a bonus quarter, and demanding they punch out before they get credited for it.  And those who get chewed out will then be salty and full of piss, and bitch and moan about labor theft, and here we are, where the company as an entire whole fucking corporation has to change their policies.

The thing is, I would wager money that there are going to be waaaayyyy more associates unhappy with this development than those who are happy with it.  Store managers will still get on the case of associates to make sure they punch out at the top of the hour, and every associate who relied on those 7-minute windows to beat traffic, school bus routes, or just be able to get out of work at optimal times, will now be forced to wait.  People punching in will be dealing with more anxiety and stress when there’s a traffic jam or a bad red light that takes too long, and nobody wins when there’s excessive nickel-and-diming going on.

But as I stated above, y’all did this to yourselves.  Companies like THD don’t make changes for one store, it’s all or nothing, and because of the dissent of a few, vastly way more will suffer the consequences.

Netflix’s Resident Evil was terrible and I don’t know why I watched all of it

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

  1. Something that was surprisingly difficult to do for this post was finding a good image to use with it. Despite the fact that the show is about how the world is mostly overrun by zombies, they sure didn’t show a whole lot of zombies, and they ones that they did show really weren’t particularly impressive and for a Netflix production they sure weren’t much better than a low-budget HK zombie film.  The main cast were so often away from zombies or any of the traditional Resident Evil baddies, that a single solitary Cerberus dog image, wins by default.
  2. A long time ago, when I was in Las Vegas in my brother, we for some reason went to the ESPN Zone in New York, New York for dinner, instead of the numerous alternate places to go eat, like Ellis Island. I think there was a WWE pay-per-view on that night, and we thought that they would be showing it, which is what caused us to go in the first place.  There was no PPV and worse off we phoned it in and stayed for dinner, and it was so mediocrely unimpressive, it’s basically become a go-to analogy for us to describe anything at all that is as unimpressive, even to this day.

Speaking of my brother, it was while I was down in Texas visiting him, that we watched the first episode of Netflix’s Resident Evil rendition.  I remember when it was first announced, there was a lot of hullaballoo about how the show had the audacity to cast a black guy as Albert Wesker, and I theorized on whether who cared more about it between black people and white guilters.

But in spite of the general clunkers the Resident Evil franchise has had as far as live-action adaptations, Netflix still has a good track record of putting out hits, and I tend to favor television format over film, so that stories can breathe and have better pace, so I was optimistic that RE:Netflix couldn’t really be that bad.

Welp, I was fucking wrong.  I will admit that freely.  It was without question one of the worst things I’ve watched in recent memory, and I have nothing but regret in how much time I sunk into watching it, when I could’ve watched absolutely anything else in the seemingly endless queue of shit that I want to watch.  Mythical wife and my au pair, as well as everyone else I’ve ever brought up the series with all asked why the fuck I was continuing to watch it despite my complaining of how bad it was, and it really boils down to the fact that I’m a fan of the franchise and I was always holding on to hope that things would get better as the season progressed.

But it just didn’t.  It never even got any better as it went on.  It wasn’t like The Witcher S1, which started off slow as fuck but then started getting really interesting up until the end of the season.  It wasn’t like Moon Knight, which I thought also sucked, but did have a few moments here and there where I realized that I sort of cared of what was going on.  It just fucking sucked from start to finish.

None of the characters are really likeable.  Kid Jade and Billie are naïve obnoxious teens versus the world, and their adult counterparts aren’t much better.  As much as I was willing to give black Wesker a chance, since I didn’t think Lance Reddick was a bad actor, he clearly played down to his competition, and up until one of the plot twists, he was rigid, robotic and as putrid as the rest of the show.

Jade Wesker is about the stupidest character in television since like, Andrea from The Walking Dead in the sense that she just can’t stop fucking shit up, no matter how good intentioned she might be, there’s always some very critical and tragic collateral damage in the process.  There’s literally an episode where I’m resorting to yelling at the television to get the fuck out of here with this bullshit, because she’s written so recklessly stupid, that it’s just my natural instinct as a viewer with a brain to be that flabbergasted that someone be portrayed to being that goddamn stupid.

Aside from being about Albert Wesker and his kids, the show makes a few other references to core Resident Evil IP by having lickers, showed a Tyrant, a character named Barry, mentions of the Arklay mountains, and name dropping an actual RE character late in the season, but none of it really helps, nor does it really make you feel like you’re in the world of Resident Evil.  In fact, Netflix could really do Capcom a huge favor replace the names Wesker and Umbrella which are the two main things that anchor it to the RE franchise, and just call this show by a new name and chalk it up as a clunker, because the franchise already has a bad enough history of nobody seemingly being capable of turning such a successful video game franchise into a palatable live action series.

The funniest part of this series is that they clearly were banking on there being a second season, based on all the loose ends, unanswered questions, and plot ropes they set up at the end of the season.  They didn’t even really answer the question of how the world got to where it was in the present, although it doesn’t take a genius to make an easy assumption.  And the news of the show’s cancellation was something that I already knew going into it, which added to the amusement of how the show presented itself as something that was assuming was going to go beyond a first season.

All the same though, Netflix’s Resident Evil was basically like the ESPN Zone of television watching for me.  Completely mediocre and regrettable to have invested my precious time into, and I wish I had spent that time on so many other possible options instead.  It makes me sad that one of my favorite video game franchises just can’t ever get it right with a live-action adaptation, and at this point, I just want Hollywood to just stop trying, because they’re not doing the franchise any favors.

  1. One of the episodes I watched was on Plex, so I could watch it on a device that didn’t have Netflix. The version of the episode had audio narration for the visual impaired, and I couldn’t turn it off; but the funny thing?  It actually helped the viewing experience, because it filled in the gaps of character names that the show doesn’t really put much effort into trying to educate viewers on, and it really helped pinpoint the endless back-and-forth time skips between the past and the present.
  2. Netflix’s 1899 wasn’t a bad show. It was pretty intriguing up until the weird Matrix-like ending.  Resident Evil, however stunk from start to finish.  What do both have in common?  They’re both cancelled!