Tag: sports

We interrupt the following program for this announcement

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Ohio State sucks.  Bahahahahahahahahahaha

I love Virginia Tech football and all, but seriously, I didn’t even watch this game, because I thought it was such a foregone conclusion, that it wasn’t even worth watching.  #8 Ohio State versus an unranked Hokie squad slapped with the dreaded “rebuilding” tag, helmed by a coach known for his innovation with special teams?

Thanks to sports superstition, I have the belief that truly crucial games are best not being seen, because watching them will undoubtedly cause my preferred teams to lose.  That didn’t apply in this case, because I figured Ohio State was going to win something like 49-9 with the Hokies only being able to muster up three field goals, so I didn’t watch because I didn’t want to watch the seemingly inevitable slaughter.

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Forcing terminology: A Bundy

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I’ve decided to start referring to good things happening in fours as “a Bundy.”  As in Al Bundy scoring four touchdowns in a single game.  Sure, the meaning behind four touchdowns in a single game has been somewhat diluted and turned into something of a joke thanks to seasons of Married… With Children, but the fact of the matter is that four touchdowns in a single game is an extraordinarily difficult task to accomplish.

Looking at the list of all-time single game records in the NFL (before it turned to shit), there are literally a single handful of guys who have managed to score five touchdowns in a single game, and slightly more guys who have managed to score four touchdowns in a single game.

Bundys.

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The escalating stupidity of “house divided” paraphernalia

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Down here in the college football ever-loving south, where license plates are not a mandatory thing on the front of the cars, novelty plates like the above are a pretty common thing. Especially the HOUSE DIVIDED plates that really like to drive home the notion that a couple, each member having gone to a different college, is ironically living with a collegiate arch-nemesis, based on popular rivalries.

House divided plates are pretty common down in Atlanta especially, since Atlanta is widely recognized as the unofficial center point of SEC country, and everyone seems to recognize the SEC as the undisputed dominant super power conference of college football. But regardless, at least once a day, it’s almost unavoidable to see a house divided plate in the city.

The thing is, at least in most cases it makes sense. Georgia/Alabama, Alabama/Auburn, Auburn/Florida. And then it goes inter-conference sometimes with Florida/Florida State, Florida State/Clemson, Clemson/South Carolina, etc, etc.

Frankly, as long as the rivalries seem somewhat justifiable and/or legit, I have no objection to it. If anything at all, it’s more of a positive nuance to recognize that in spite of the Romeo and Juliet perception between fans of opposing programs, when the day is over, people don’t give a flying fuck about collegiate alliances, in the name of love.

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Things Dwyane Wade won’t be able to buy anymore

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Not long ago, I wrote about how opt-out clauses are kind of killing professional sport, and a whole bunch or rambling about how at the root of all opt-out clauses, is more greed. In every instance I mentioned, the people who opted out of millions of dollars ultimately signed contracts worth even more money, displaying what I feel are truly disgusting rich-getting-richer scenarios.

Ultimately, what I failed to say when I wrote that, was that I would love to see an instance where a guy opts out of his contract, only for it to backfire and blow up in his face, and they’re unable to better the numbers in which they opted out of. Because that would be just dessert for someone getting greedy, and being rudely awakened when the number crunchers and bean counters of sports franchises realize the favor they’ve been granted, and the money they don’t have to spend to acquire their talents.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait that long after making my post for it to actually come to fruition.

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The thin line that divides love from hate

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I enjoy professional sports.

However, I think that I would prefer a world where professional sports ceased to exist, than to live in the world we live in now, where salaries are skyrocketing, greed is escalating, and egos are left unchecked and maniacally running rampant in every sport.

It gets worse every single year.  Every sport has a few players that think they’re bigger than everyone else, and unfortunately the right people always agree with them, and we read stories about how these people who are playing children’s games at an intensely higher level are making millions and millions of dollars, and have justifiably “earned” them.  Players buy into their own hype and make mockeries of the leagues of the sports that they’re good at, and the fans are doubly worse for buying into them as well, and justifying and encouraging such behavior.

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Watching sports is worse than gambling

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Roulette is considered to be the game with the worst odds in the casino.  Contrarily, it also has the highest payout, for a direct hit.  Ignoring side bets, half, quarter, row and column bets, it’s basically a game where you have a 1-in-38 (37 on European tables with no double zero) chance of hitting a single number.  However, if you ever do manage to hit that number, you get paid 36 times for every chip you have on that sole number.

A few times, I have grinded out enough table time to have been privileged to have hit 17 on the wheel while I’ve had a chip(s) sitting on it on the board.  It’s truly a phenomenal feeling when you hit your number, multiplied by how many chips you have touching it, because it’s a massive payout, especially when your chip denominations are higher than just a dollar.

Among my degenerate gambling friends, I still recall the story of one particular magical night where my brother and I literally spent eight hours in front of the same roulette table, where we hit our magic number 17 at least five times.  I had risked a grand total of $200 of my own money, and walked away with numerous times more than that.  I paid off the remaining balance on my car, and had comped Vegas rooms for nearly two years.

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The opt-out clause kills the love of the game

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I honestly believe that we will never see professional athletes like Chipper Jones or Derek Jeter ever again – players who spend their entire, legendary careers with one team.

Outside of all things World Cup, one of the more notable stories in the world of sports is that both LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony have opted out of their existing contracts and will become free agents.  This basically means that both players chose to leave a whole lot of money over a short span on the table, so that they can pursue new contracts worth even more money over a longer span.

From the financial, personal standpoint, this completely makes sense.  When the day is over, both LeBron and Carmelo know that professional sport have a very finite amount of time, and they’re trying to amass as much money as they possibly can, to ensure the financial security for themselves and their families.

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