Nothing says ‘I still got it’ than pub-stomping some high school girls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

MLB: 52-year old Ichiro Suzuki twirls a 127-pitch complete game shutout against an all-star team of Japanese high school girls in an exhibition game, striking out 17.  Also collected two hits as a batter, in a 7-0 win

When I saw this news start to pop up on my feeds, I thought that this was an instance of old news coming back to the surface, and was ready to get on the internet offensive and accuse some pleebs of old news, get with the times dork.  But it turns out that this game of mostly old and retired Japanese pro players versus the best girls high school players in the country exhibition actually did happen again, and apparently this is a thing that occurs every two years, and has been the case for a while.

If it’s been going on prior to 2019, I don’t have the slightest clue nor do I care enough to check, but it’s news as of then, solely because of the fact that Ichiro has been participating in these matches since then.  And for the fourth time out of five appearances, Ichiro has thrown a complete game shutout, and nothing is probably more validating to his aging masculinity than taking the pitcher’s mound and suffocating a bunch of teenage girls for a the better part of a decade.

In one hand, it can be said that Ichiro is showing these girls the utmost honor and respect by not pulling any punches and going out and tryharding as much as he and most Japanese workaholics often are capable of doing.  But in the other hand, he may be retired and inactive in Major League Baseball, but Ichiro is still one of the greatest of all time, and probably the greatest of all time to come out of Japan (for the time being), and aging will do way less to his ability to play baseball than it would be like some fat undisciplined flash in the pan like say Prince Fielder, post-career, and even though he’s 52 as of 2026, he’s undoubtedly still better at the game than the best girl high school players in the nation.

Although I highly doubt the overly polite and respectful Japanese would possibly think Ichiro and all the other former MLB/NPB pros stomping high school girls is a dick move, my American brain tends to think that there’s a modicum of dickishness to a bunch of former professionals going out and dropping hammers onto a bunch of girls vastly their juniors.

Unsurprising, Ichiro dominated the living piss out of the high school girls, again, and the funniest-not-entirely-funniest thing about Ichiro’s participation in this game is that this is now is fifth game where he’s appeared in, all of them as the only pitcher, and he’s now pitched a total of 45 innings, 5 complete games, 4 shutouts, and has an ERA of just 0.06.  He has at least 43 strikeouts, because I can’t find the strikeout totals from 2019 and 2023, but even if he had zero in those two games, his K/9 rate would be close to 10 as it is, which is considered elite.

In one regard, this is probably the honor of a lifetime for all the high school girls, getting to play ball with some of the greatest to ever play for the country, but at the same time, it’s meant to be an exhibition, not taken so seriously, and where they’re getting 9-17 runs hung on them.  Like, if you’re trying to inspire confidence in the youth of tomorrow, clobbering them for 10+ runs in a meaningless game isn’t really going to help.

But in the end, I suppose if eating the lunch of a bunch of high school girls is what Ichiro needs to do in order to remain active in the game, then so be it.  I still maintain that when the day comes when he’s no longer able to be involved in baseball, he’s going to go on a murderous rampage, so anything that keeps him in the stratosphere of the sport, means safety for humanity.  I mean, look at his face from this year’s game when he came to the realization that one girl had collected three hits off of him; when the day comes where Ichiro can’t play anymore, and his murderous intent comes out, the name Rin Fukuda will probably be high on his list of targets, for embarrassing his honor by collecting three hits, and a steal.

Looking forward to the 2028 edition of this game, where a then-54 year old Ichiro will probably still be ready to pitch another complete game shutout, and I can only hope by then, there’ll be some cocky female slugger who’s salivating at the thought of facing Ichiro and is ready to clobber a dinger into the Tokyo Dome rafters, just so we can all see what Ichiro’s reaction is going to be.

Better avoid Smithfield meat for a minute

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

KWQC: maintenance worker killed at Smithfield Foods factory in Monmouth, Illinois; cause of death yet unknown, but reported to have been machinery related

Yeaaah see that picture here?  That’s the kind of stuff that Smithfield Foods produces, basically a whole bunch of manufactured meat products.  The kind of things you see in the pre-packaged lunch meat aisle, and if you’re anything like me, are pretty indiscriminate about the brand, and liable to pick up whatever’s cheapest and doesn’t look too sketch.

The fact that it’s been a few days since this was reported, and no specificity on how the worker was unfortunately killed invariably leads to the jumping to the conclusion that man may have fallen into some vat or food processing machine, and that he could possibly end up as byproduct to any one, or multiple of the types of meats shown above.

And no, I’m not above making a tasteless joke in light of another human’s demise, but in this case, I am not joking.  Seldom is there much humor in the loss of another’s life, and it really sucks for the person who died at work, as well as the family that lost them, but the lack of specific details in the matter does genuinely raise concern about the contents of the food that the factory could be producing in coming days and weeks, and it’s going to take some very clear explaining to ensure future consumers that they might not be getting partial flecks of human matter in their kielbasas and bacon in the future.

Also really sucks for the plant workers who weren’t just immediately sent home for the day in light of a fatality at the workplace, and that the facility intended on operating as if nothing had happened.  I unfortunately have experienced a situation where a vendor had a fatal accident at work, and they ceased operations immediately, because that seems like the logical thing to do in order to investigate the matter in as calm as a place you can, as well as give some grieving space to all that were unfortunate to witness the incident.

Think Smithfield Foods better consider putting themselves on the bench, or get ready for a rebranding, because employee fatalities and piss-poor handling of a bad situation is some really bad PR to be farming up in this day and age, and it doesn’t matter how good or not good their product is, they’re in a very crowded food space, and the removal of their existence on account of bad situational management isn’t going to really matter that much.

Who would’ve guessed that foreign travelers don’t want to get gauged either?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

WSB: Atlanta Convention & Visitors Bureau report that hotel bookings did not live up to the impact predictions that the FIFA World Cup would bring

Among some of the great content that came out of the FIFA World Cup, I particularly liked the local Atlanta material, about foreign visitors’ experiences in the Metro.  I really enjoyed videos about witnessing people wandering around in the hoods of College Park, the West End and East Atlanta, looking absolutely petrified at just how hood some of these neighborhoods were capable of being.

It’s obvious that they chose these areas because they were MARTA accessible, and they figured that instead of staying within a mile radius of The Benz and get gauged to death, they’d stay a little bit further out for less, but it’s aight because we got train access.

I’d never seen so many the sax is getting louder memes in such a short time, but they’ve all been entertaining to me, especially when I recognized some of the places of some of the videos.

But getting back to the article here, it brings me great satisfaction to see all the L’s the city is taking in regards to expected hotel occupancy versus what had actually happened.  It’s not that I want to see Atlanta getting laughed at by the rest of the world, but I’m diametrically opposed to flagrant price gauging and any act of trying to turn screws to the people of the world, that I feel like quantifiable evidence of failure like this is necessary in order for any sort of course correction to happen.

It’s pretty great:

FIFA once promised an impact equal to eight Super Bowls.

But then the numbers start coming in, and tax revenue, hotel occupancy and hotel occupancy within a 1-mile radius are all in the negatives, and it’s just one of those smug, gee, tf did you think was going to happen when you ask people to pay thousands of dollars to fly to Atlanta, thousands more dollars to get tickets into the matches, and think that they’d still have thousands of dollars left over to stay in overpriced hotels?

I especially like the Ls that all the nearby hotels took, because firstly, they’re all of the luxury, high-end name brands, of W, the Four Seasons, the Ritz Carlton, and then all the Dragon-con hotels that are all perpetually overpriced all the time.  They should be the least surprised that people who were dumping their life savings into these trips would prioritize lodging the last versus logistics and match tickets.

I am surprised to see that the general, umbrella Metro Atlanta hotel occupancy also remained in the negatives, which means that probably the AirBnB and short-term rental markets probably did gangbusters throughout the World Cup’s tenure in Atlanta, or perhaps people were staying in places like Newnan, Woodstock, Braselton and the way the fuck outskirts that might not fall into the Metro umbrella.

Either way, chalk this up as some satisfying tea to indulge in, because as much as I love sports, the politics that go behind it are as much full of shit as the nonsense that endlessly churns up in Washington DC.

Sounds like a way to lose $500 and feed the squatting epidemic

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

WSB: City of Atlanta announces new no-fee microloan program for renters to help avoid evictions during times of duress

Upon reading this, I feel like Mayor Andre Dickens must’ve recently seen Jim Carrey’s Yes Man and was inspired by the scene where JC’s loan officer character, under hypnotic suggestion, said yes to just about every single loan request that came across his desk, with his bank’s branch giving out tremendously more loans than the rest of the company.

When confronted about it by a higher-up who came in to investigate the generosity, the twist was that all the people he was giving loans out to were just so grateful to be having their needs met, that the repayment rate of all his loans was 98%, and the bank was actually turning a profit on the repayments.  Good job, Carl.

Seemingly inspired by a fictional film, Andre Dickens launches the Neighborhood Reinvestment Initiative, where he believes that loaning out $500 at a time to people who might be a little short when the rent is due, will help keep good families secure in their homes, and not be at risk of eviction.

The alleged rationale behind the initiative is altruistic, and I don’t mean to shit on a program that has such altruistic objectives, but there’s zero part of me that believes this has any chance of being like Yes Man, and 98% of these $500 loans will be repaid, much less used in any sort of responsible manner.

First of all, the $500 microloans are no-interest, no-fee, require no collateral.  They will then have 25 weeks to pony up a Jackson at a time, and although I feel fortunate to say that I could probably pay $20 a week, I know a lot of the people this is intended for probably aren’t.  I get that this is all in the name of helping people, but programs require funding to survive, and if they’re not going to make any sort of payment, especially to off-set the extremely high chance that most of these loans aren’t going to get repaid fully, if at all, then may as well not even bother launching it in the first place.

Second, has anyone stopped to look at the eviction rates in Metro Atlanta?  For 2026, one in four renters defaults, and although they may face eviction, the corresponding squatting rates are also so astronomical that this program is basically setting itself up to be a means to give future squatters $500 bones to supplement themselves with before they inevitably start living illegally.

$500 is not an inconsequential amount, but given what the cost of renting is in Metro Atlanta and all around the US these days, it’s barely a drop in the bucket as far as actually being able to help someone out goes.  I have a feeling the people who are struggling with making rent aren’t short by $500 or less each month, and require that difference to be made up somewhere, every single month, and not just have one bad period.

Hypothetically, a responsible borrower gets their $500 loan, staves off defaulting for one month, but then the 30th rolls around four weeks later, they’re short again, but now they are ineligible for another $500 because they received one a month prior, what then?

I can tell you that with my general expenses and costs of supporting my household, $500 vanishes in the blink of an eye, often in a single transaction somewhere, and $500 wouldn’t really help that much in the grand spectrum of the debts that I could incur, and in fact, be worse in the sense that I now owe one more something back.

The idea of this is nice, and if it isn’t just a smoke screen meant for Dickens to operate as his predecessors did (read: stealing taxpayer funds), I would hope that this truly does help a lot of people having a bad month, stay afloat, and pay back responsibly, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

I look forward to revisiting this topic in a year when I see this post show up on On This Day, and I’ll be curious to Google it to see just what came of the whole thing, but probably find nothing about it because everyone loves to hide their L’s and Dickens was probably using this whole thing to steal money to begin with.

Non-Koreans need not apply

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes I use my brog to vent out my general frustrations about randos on the internet because I don’t want to comment on social media and possibly risk engaging in interactions I don’t want to get sucked into.

But over the last year or so, there’s a content creator with whom I engage with regularly enough to where theFacebook keeps offering me up a top fan badge which I promptly delete the suggestion because I don’t care nor is it at all important for others to see me as someone who spends more time than is necessary engaging with someone that I don’t know at the end of the day.

I like to keep my interactions generally positive, as this person is also Korean, also a dad, and although I could be jealous of his success at climbing the rope of content creation and the lifestyle it has created for him, I don’t want to be the jealous fatty of Korean person who envies and generally becomes a hater, because I really am happy to see a Korean guy finding success, making wholesome content in such a droll world where everything is an uphill battle.

Mostly I interact with fairly innocuous remarks, primarily positive, but also when he queries other parents, I sometimes share opinions, as another Korean father in America.  But I occasionally sprinkle my commentary with some 한글 every now and then, kind of as a way of directly speaking to him and/or other Korean supporters of his, because sometimes there are just some things in the world that aren’t really relatable to anyone other than to us Korean people.

However, being public forum, this means that the rest of the non-Korean pleebs of the world can see what I’m saying, and worst of all, have the capability to comment and respond when they feel necessary, which is unfortunately to say way more often than I’d like it to be.  Mostly because the overwhelming majority of people in the world are incapable of initiating, which includes on the internet where nobody has the balls to make their own comments but have zero qualms with rebutting and contradicting when they feel the urge (that nobody asked for) to say something.

A lot of the time, my remarks get the “this doesn’t apply to just Koreans” or “I’m also X Asian/minority class and this tracks for us” counters, which in some cases might not be completely invalid.  But my favorites are the responses I get from what are obviously white people who feel that they have absolutely anything to add in any sort of matter that pertains to me pointing out -isms of Koreans and other Asian tropes.

Like the impetus of this post stems from this content creator low-key flexing his pockets by showing an itemized e-receipt of some ingredients purchased for a future video.  But instead of being a hater and acknowledging and calling out the humblebrag, I remarked about imagining his or the hypothetical Korean parent seeing this receipt and it’s exorbitant cost, and how they’d probably imagine it would be cheaper to travel to [foreign location] to [acquire] the ingredient, and ignore the whole time and labor cost, in the name of saving money, because the trope is that Koreans are eternally cost-conscious and the only things that matter are those bottom lines.

I get some Chad Borowski responding to me that time and labor is free to one’s self, and that they can get memories and experience out of the hypothetical journey to [foreign location].  Some hippie-dippy white person bullshit, injecting their belief system to a culture that couldn’t give a shit less about such things versus the objective of not paying exorbitant costs for anything.  And then it’s topped off with an umbrella sermon about how Chad wished more people were capable of doing things for themselves and enjoy the process.

 

Normally I don’t re-engage, but this one made me roll my eyes so hard, by the time my eyeballs returned to their sockets, I had already hit send on a response, facetiously saying his remark was cute but [due to his obvious lack of knowledge of Korean parents on account of not being fucking Korean] that the only experience and memories a Korean parent wants to get out of such a hypothetical journey is the ability to humblebrag to their group chat about how much money they saved, and have an unsmiling selfie at the location to prove it.  Because that’s entirely what hypothetical Korean parents of this specified generation are entirely all about, and the exact course of action that would take place.

But my bad for re-engagement, because later in the day, Chad rebuts again because white people are about as other classes when it comes the need to get the last word in, and they accused me of being miserable with a sour world view, which isn’t entirely incorrect, but in the context of this conversation, is completely putting words in my mouth.

I didn’t bother responding again because I had already broken one of my general rules of social media of commenting on comments, and I feel no need to get the last word, but the point of all this is that Chad here, or any other white person need not bother getting involved in this observation that has nothing to do with them.

Unfortunately, I know that tons of white guys out there in the world are incapable of receiving such a memo, so this won’t be the last time Ben Affleck or Jillian Michaels is going to interfere with my knowing commentary of Koreans to another Korean.  But hopefully, it won’t pique my nerves to the point where I feel the need to burn a brog post about it again.

I suppose when you’re about to be euthanized, no-caffeine may let you live three more seconds

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

ANF: Georgia death-row inmate selects last meal, set for execution on September 16th
Let’s just cut to the chase:

For his last meal, prison officials said Humphreys requested barbecue beef brisket, pork ribs, a bacon double cheeseburger with fries, buffalo wings, a meat lovers pan pizza and two caffeine-free sodas. For dessert, he chose butter pecan ice cream and peach ice cream.

Honestly, take the whole murdering of two real estate agents out of the equation and journey to death row, and this sounds like an absolute banger of a big back meal, that would be like a final boss-caliber cheat day of eating.

The funny thing to me about final meal requests is that these inmates always ask for enough food for entire families, more than likely knowing that they have no chance at finishing everything, and the crazier thing is that the institutions of incarceration always seem to honor them.

As far as final meals go, this one does seem kind of tame.  Man is basically asking for the entire menu at like Buffalo Wild Wings, with all the barbecue items he’s requesting, as well as cheeseburgers and pizza.  About a decade ago, also here in Georgia, there was a woman on death row who requested a ton of things that seemed to have a common thread, of buttermilk and eggs, and it seemed to me that she was planning on making herself into a human atomic bomb of toxic gas, fully anticipating that once she died, and believing that the body’s functions cease and evacuate, to make the absolutely most trainwreck of a mess as possible on the way out.

This guy isn’t really going that route, even if it is the only real chance that any accused has to get the last word in with their jailers, man just wants a solid Roy Hobbs Day on the way out.

But why this is a post on the brog is that the devil is in the details, and it’s some of the details that pique my interest and inspire me to put down some words.

First, is the fact that he specifically asked for a meat lovers pan pizza, and not a whole-ass Pizza Hut Big New Yorker with every single meat option slathered on it.  I get that there is a culinary difference between the two, what with the pan pizza having those crispy edges that might be a personal preference, but if I’m on my way out, feel any sort of malice or resentment to my jailers or the state of Georgia, and know that the taxpayers are on the hook for feeding my ass one last time, I might pick the more expensive option, knowing that I probably won’t finish it anyway, taking any sort of pyrrhic victories as I can.

Instead, this dude is being quite modest with his request of a diminutive pan pizza, almost as if it were meant to be a dainty side dish to accompany his barbecue train he’s going to run.

Next we have the two caffeine-free sodas that he’s requested; I’m going to assume they’re along the lines of a cola or of the dark colored variety, and not like a Crush or Mountain Dew.  It’s funny in the sense that he specifically asked for two, and not an entire six or 12-pack, because short of going to a gas station or a Dollar Tree, I don’t even know where you can even get individual cans of soda.  More than likely, whomever is in charge of fulfilling this meal request will be stuck with leftover sodas in their possession, knowing that the missing cans were meant for a dead guy.

But the coup de grace is the fact that for whatever reason, it was specified that he wanted caffeine-free sodas.  Man is about to be put to eternal sleep, and he’s sweating having sodas that have caffeine in it before he’s put to death.  And just two – clearly trying to watch his weight and sodium intake, in spite of the 8,000mg of sodium he’ll already be taking in with his requested final meal.

When I was a kid, I was so hooked on soda, and in spite of my mom’s general aversion to supporting such a habit, occasionally I could talk her into picking up a case of sodas, provided it were caffeine-free Diet Coke.  It’s like being the absolute least offensive of the cola family made it somewhat palatable for my mom to purchase.  Plus, the gold cans are kind of baller, and it’s almost a shame that the color gold is treated as like fourth tier in the Coca-Cola hierarchy.

I suppose he’s being cognizant of the risk of elevated heart rate that caffeine has on the human body, and seeing as how he’s going to be put down via lethal injection, I suppose keeping his heart rate as low as possible when getting the needle, he might be able to prolong his life by like maybe, three more seconds. 

And if he has any inkling of wanting to remain among the living, I suppose every second counts.

When changing the words make it sound less sketchy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m on the fence on whether or not I’m going to bother to try and game another temporary free subscription trial for SiriusXM upon hearing about how Howard Stern is changing his format yet again, dropping down to now just one show a week, along with the news that there have been a large number of layoffs within his camp, including some notable personalities that I’ve gotten to know throughout the years.  Change is inevitable, especially over a long period of time, Howard’s not getting any younger, and the finish line is inching ever closer, and without the King of All Media, I don’t see much point in indulging SiriusXM, even if I’m not paying for it.

That being said, when I feel the need for streaming music, I’m still an old head using Pandora, and much like most other streaming mediums, Pandora is no exception to being filled with gradually more ads, bringing their medium, one step closer to being no different than terrestrial radio.

One of the ads I’ve been hearing a lot of lately is for a sports betting service, because gambling available to everyone is totally not problematic in the world.  I’ve documented multiple times my lack of success in sports gambling and why I don’t imbibe in it anymore, and I should feel fortunate that I’ve taken such lessons to heart, because otherwise I’d probably be absolutely fucked in today’s world, where the persuasion to get into gambling is being inundated to the people like it were clean air and water.

The interesting thing about this particular ad is the boiler plate legal they blab out 1.75x speed at the end of the commercial about the dangerous risks of gambling, but the thing is how they’ve transformed the word “betting” into “predictions.”

The “prediction market” sounds a whole lot less scary than “sports betting,” as if one agency doesn’t have loan sharks, bookies and shady types behind it as much as the other does.  Also the prediction market doesn’t contain terminology that pigeon holes it solely to sports, because people can make predictions on all sorts of things that aren’t just sports, like betting on new Popes, what cities will land a large corporate client, what car manufacturer will release their new model next, etc, etc.

And therein lies the increasing dangers of the world of gambling, because the prediction market name has opened the door for all sorts of official betting on things outside of just sporting events.  I had no fucking clue to what was being advertised throughout the World Cup with all those weird Kalshi ads starring Timothee Chalamet but when I remembered at one point to actually Google the name, that’s when I learned that it was just a betting service but being called predictions.

I’m not above gambling by any means necessary, I’m just way more cautious with my money than I used to be, primarily on account of the fact that I have a family that depends on me continuing to make it, and not piss it away betting on shit like a real degenerate.  If I were younger and still unattached and uncommitted to anything would be a different story, but as a generally risk-averse person in nature, I probably would’ve been able to resist, but in this day and age where the masses are usually still like gambling = bad, but the market has like 100 different gambling services being advertised down our throats.

It’s just funny that in spite of the negative stigma that comes along with excessive gambling, a rebranding of the whole concept, simply by calling it ‘predictions’ seems to have reinvigorated the whole industry, and I predict that there are going to be some seriously broken families and people in the near to distant future, whose lives are going to be completely ruined by, predicting problems.

There are probably predictions on such metrics available on some prediction platform, for people to bet predict on.