Tag: fail

Things White People Like: Cars that are kind of like Broncos

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I know that I’ve written several times about white peoples’ fascinations with the revived Ford Broncos, but over the last year or so, I couldn’t help but notice how many car manufacturers have slowly been creating their own vehicles to try to tap into that same market, of “white guys who are tired of how there are minorities that have the audacity to buy Jeeps, so they’ve all transitioned over to Ford Broncos, except now they once saw a black guy driving one, so they’ve been searching for something else.”

What finally spurred me to actually write about this after all this time that this general topic has been swirling around in my brain from time to time, is that this particular morning, I pulled up behind one of these Bronco clones, thinking that I was pulling up on a Land Rover  Defender or maybe a Hummer EV.  But then I saw the Lexus badge, and my brow scrunched and I was like, seriously, Lexus is in on this shit now too?

Sure, it didn’t help that the car had an aftermarket lift kit, and didn’t look exactly like the Lexus shown to the right, but the fact that someone would go through the trouble and finances to make their “luxury” Lexus look more rugged and, like a Bronco, by adding a lift kid and wide wheels was fascinating enough, and sure enough when I passed by him, it was a guy that basically looked like Adam Scott, which is to say a pretty generic looking white guy, no disrespect to Adam Scott I love Parks & Rec and Severance

The point remains is that Lexus is on the game now too, and now I can recall numerous vehicles that fall into the category of being Ford Bronco wannabes, targeting white people, and they are most definitely biting on the bait.

Sure, when I actually line them up like I have in this image, they don’t really look as identical as they seem to look when you see them one at a time in the wild, but the point remains is that they’ve all been inspired by the success of the Ford Bronco, and are all trying to get a slice of the pie.  Which is fascinating in the sense that Ford as a brand doesn’t really have a great reputation, seeing as how their cars are basically manufactured from recycled Rubbermaid parts and the cheapest metals they can find, but all these luxury makers are crawling all over each other in order to emulate a general shitbox, but with their own pretentious spins on them.

The Lexus RX550, the Land Rover Discovery, the Hummer EV, and the Rivian whatever, all have that general same look and feel as a Bronco, except that they’re probably $20K+ more than a Bronco.  And the only real bragging right a driver of a clone really gets is the insinuation that they have money because they plopped $20K+ more on their whip than they could have had a Bronco for, but then again, fewer things say white people more than flexing finances, even if it’s not always necessarily an intelligent choice.

It’s just so funny though, because the Bronco is a rip off of a Jeep, which is basically the greatest vehicle in the world at off-roading, but it’s beyond obvious that anyone in a Bronco, much less any of their egregiously more expensive poser-clones, the closest thing they’ll ever see to being off-road is when they go to a farm in the fall for pumpkin picking.

But then again, white people.

#TRYHARDSZN2025: What’s the beef with Cornell?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

7onMySideNewark: Newark teen accepted into seven Ivy League schools

My first thought when I saw this headline was, haha seven, why not eight?  Which of the Ivies rejected him?

But according to the article, for whatever reason, the #TRYHARD alleges that he only applied to seven, and was accepted into all seven of them, which leads me to think, why the fuck didn’t he go ahead and apply to all eight at that point?

The odd Ivy out in this case was Cornell, and considering the #TRYHARD wants to study political science, I’m thinking why the fuck didn’t he go ahead and apply to Cornell as well?

I mean, he can’t use distance as a reason, Ithaca is closer to Newark than Boston is, and Dartmouth might as well be on the moon in comparison to most of the other Ivies, so I can’t really wrap my brain around why this #TRYHARD would apply to every single Ivy except for Cornell.

Either way, acceptances are one thing, but there’s no information given about scholarships, or if there were any scholarships even offered at all.  As impressive as gaining entry to 7/8 Ivies might sound, the real question is how he and his family are going to manage to pay for it, because scholarships are always disclosed in these #TRYHARD articles for further flexing, and his family runs a pizza shop.  Going to imagine it’s going to be quite the difficulty for he and his family to support the gargantuan tuitions and supporting expenses college is going to be, even if Harvard allows for certain financial thresholds to attend for free.

No matter though, good on this #TRYHARD for almost completing the Ivy Sweep.  I don’t necessarily believe that he didn’t apply to Cornell, because if you’re going to shoot for the moon, there’s little reason why he wouldn’t have gone after all of them, and it’s like a marketing tactic.  If 4/100 people like a product, it can still be spun that 4/5 like it, and toss the other 95 testers out, just like this kid can say he only applied to seven Ivies, and throw Cornell out.

Doesn’t compete against some of the more notable #TRYHARDs of the #SZN, but anyone who can get into multiple Ivies, let alone one, is still worth mentioning.

Dad Brog #148: an example of having to take it on the chin

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I don’t really know anything about Judaism, but for whatever reason, my kids have the entire week off because of Passover.  I don’t really know anything about Passover either, but far be it for me to question any religion’s stuff beyond the fact that my kids are off school, but some of my colleagues at work who are Jewish are all in the office like it’s any other day of the week.

The thing is we’re a week removed from a week in which both mythical wife was off on spring break on account of being a teacher, and the au pair was off on spring break on account of her being a student and going to school.  In previous years at my kids’ preschool, they’ve usually just aligned with the county school schedule, and this is the first time that I can recollect them having a separate Passover week off.  This has never been an issue in any of the previous years that my kids have been going to their school, but for whatever reason, here we are, this year.

All I know is that it really sucks because as is often times the case, I’m the one who has to take it on the chin and alter my days in order to accommodate this misalignment of time off, and further illustrate that I don’t get time off, ever, and this is just my life and I really have no other choice but to cope with it.

So, for this week, I have to stay home with my kids until my au pair gets home from class to which then I have to go into the office late, play catchup the entire days, and probably have to stay late a little bit to make up for lost time, so that I don’t fall behind on more of my shit later on.

Yeah, I know it doesn’t seem fair, but there’s little sense in calling it out because nobody listens or would be willing to do anything about it.  So it’s just grin and bear it, and make the best of my shitty situation where I don’t ever get a fucking break, and try to take solace in the fact that I can spend a little bit of extra time with my kids and try to push out of my mind the meetings I may be missing and the optics that goes along with flaky attendance, even if I do manage to get all my shit done.

As I’ve opined a thousand times, I would just like a little bit of help and a little bit of breaks from having to be the hard fucking hyper carry in my household.

#TRYHARDSZN2025: There’s a bigger world outside of California

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

KGTV: High schooler from Torrey Pines accepted into 63 different colleges, amassing $3M in cumulative scholarships

$3 million bones from 63 acceptances; an average scholarship value of $47,619 isn’t bad, but in the grand spectrum of the #TRYHARD game, is fairly pedestrian in comparison to some of the #TRYHARDs that have already emerged this #SZN. 

Ultimately, I’m liking that either Google and news outlets are either being lazy and not reporting, or the possibility that #TRYHARDING isn’t as wrapped up as it used to be in previous years, and there just aren’t as many insufferable #TRYHARDs this year as in years prior, because that’s less stuff for me to write about, as if I didn’t put myself in this situation wanting to write about all the #TRYHARDs of the year.

After some of the #TRYHARDs that have already been documented, this kid really isn’t that exceptional.  His academic haul is still pretty good, but it’s hard to keep up in the game, when there are some who have doubled his scholarship dollars, and/or number of acceptances, like the one who could boast about having an acceptance from every single one of the 50 United States.

Normally, I’m at the point in the #SZN where I just want to skip writing about all of the #TRYHARDs once the truly exceptional ones have come out, but in this case, it’s the article itself that I want to nitpick about and provide me with some inspiration to blather some words out:

A graduating senior from Torrey Pines High School has accomplished what some might consider impossible — earning over $3 million in scholarships.

Impossible?  $3M?  I know Torrey Pines, California is basically akin to paradise, but these so-called journalists need to look at the world outside of their own, because not only is $3M possible, there’s already been at least one teen who has amassed $6M in scholarships this #SZN alone.

The lack of credentials and failure to name drop any of the acceptances other than the one he selected lends to imply that many of them weren’t very prestigious or impressive, and comes off as one of those #TRYHARDs that actually didn’t #TRYHARD as much as they were just good at filling out online forms and getting what I’m guessing are free applications.

It’s also funny to me that someone in this part of California is even in a position to need to be applying to every school under the sun, because that chunk of land slightly north of San Diego is home to some gorgeous earth, that I also imagine probably costs the arms and legs of several generations’ worth of wealth to be living there.  I have a hard time believing that there are people who actually live out there who are in positions to be needing scholarships, but I suppose while I’ve been thinking about money fervently over the last few weeks, the wealthy don’t stay wealthy by being frivolous, they’re usually wealthy because they’re often times good at finding other people to pick up the check instead of themselves.

Whatever though, good on this #TRYHARD and I use that term lightly on account of comparing him to others in the game, for getting accepted into a buttload of schools, and of course picking a fairly mid one to actually go to, in Howard University.  I’m sure it’ll be an interesting culture shock to go from the vast picturesque paradise of Torrey Pines to going to school in the dump of Washington DC.

#TRYHARDSZN2025: This, is going to be my favorite story this #SZN

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Trent Crimm, the Independent: braggadocious teen mogul goes viral after being rejected by nearly all applied colleges, in spite of monumental qualifications

I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say that I don’t think any story for the rest of the #SZN is going to top this one.  Sure, the #TRYHARD only applied to 18 schools, but he was rejected by 15 of them, despite having incredible qualifications as far as grades, accomplishments and frankly, life experiences went.

What we have here, is probably one of the greatest examples in history of how the wrong attitude and approach can absolutely shitcan your chances of acceptance in the real world, because if you were to take the time to read this article and read his college essay, that he thinks he’s so important as to call his personal statement, it becomes absolutely crystal clear to why this he was rejected by nearly every school he applied to, despite having excellent grades, tests well, and the intelligence and savvy to become a young entrepreneur of a successful and profitable app.

Many have already pointed out and dissected all of the numerous reasons to why this #TRYHARD was shot down in such embarrassingly overwhelming fashion, but it really boils down to the fact that his college essay absolutely turned off just about every single recruiter with any pull or power to accept.

He basically shits on the whole notion of going to college, proclaims he had no intention of going to college, and sees college as simply ‘a rite of passage’ for teenagers growing up.  Absolutely no college in America would want to admit some kid who has no real aspirations once they’re in the door, and comes off as a massive flight-risk of dropping out, because he already has success and earning potential in his life right now.

It feels like he’s watched too many rite of passage movies, where plots of claimed that in order to stand out in the college application process, one has to be bold, take chances, and tell an incredible story.  As insufferably braggadocious his essay is, it’s extremely well written, reads well and tells a story, but the fact of the matter is that real life isn’t a movie, and there’s a level of vanilla, boring decorum that is expected, and frankly required, when doing things like applying to colleges or jobs. 

Proclaiming your disinterest for college and then bragging about all the reasons why you feel that way before saying “but oh wait, college is a rite of passage so I guess I should do it” wasn’t the right choice, and I’m honestly more flabbergasted at the fact that this #TRYHARD didn’t have anyone in his life to give him the guidance or advice that, yo, maybe this essay isn’t the right approach. 

I got the vibe that this kid has probably been raised with little emperor syndrome, which is pretty common in lots of Chinese and Middle Eastern cultures, where the first born son is basically invincible from criticism and coddled and sheltered from real world scenarios, and if he even sought any guidance about his essay, was probably told it was great and to run with it.  Oops.

What’s funnier is the fact that this #TRYHARD took his beef to the internet, with the implication being that he genuinely thought the collective internet would really be on his side once he made his story public.  As tone-deaf and clearly blind to understanding how the college application process works, he’s clearly as clueless to how the internet works, and in no time flat, he’s been dismantled, dissected and picked apart by the internet, with as much success finding people who sympathize with him as he was accepted into schools.

On a side note, yeah the #TRYHARD biffed on all of the Ivies he tried to get into, but kind of a low-blow by the Independent to throw shade at the schools he did get into, calling Georgia Tech, the U and Texas “less prestigious” schools.  I mean, they are less prestigious schools as far as not being Ivy League, but they’re all solid educational institutions, with excellent specific programs, and all flush with cash on account of robust athletic programs.  And they all clearly were capable of looking past his shit attitude and see the potential, and gave him the green light, when better or equally qualified applicants probably didn’t.

I know I take shots at Georgia Tech all the time, but there’s no denying the school is among the top engineering schools in the country, and it might have the name value of MIT, but it’s no slouch as far as its educational credentials are concerned.

Frankly, #TRYHARD here has two options – forego college like he believed he was destined to do, focus on his app and ecommerce acumen, and follow the path of Zuck and become wealth and something without a college degree.  Or, attend Georgia Tech and get an excellent education, go to Texas and soak in the college sport and immersive college atmosphere, or go to the U, where he’d be living in Miami and lean into Miami living.

As owned as he might have been in the college applications game, and on the internet, he’s still in a very enviable position overall.  He has acceptances to some “less prestigious” but reputable schools, basically his own business, and he’s still just 18 years old.  There’s a tremendous time for him to learn and grow and grow the fuck up, and this would be a critical year and good basis for him to punt on 2025, take a gap year and try again the next year, and find some humility and perhaps use this experience as a means to write an essay that’s not quite so insufferable as much as demonstrating the experience of being humbled and growing from it.

Either way, who doesn’t love a good story of some dumbass getting owned?  And even better that it falls within the realm of #TRYHARDSZN, and ultimately is an opposite-story of instead of some #TRYHARD getting into 155 schools and amassing millions in cumulative scholarship offers, it’s someone who got rejected by a bunch of schools, and entirely because of his own stupidity.

Life on hold

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I am very unhappy with the state of my life and how endlessly difficult everything is right now, and I can’t see any lights at the ends of any tunnels to give me any sense of hope. 

And I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can talk to about it. 

The irony and benefit to having a brog that nobody but me reads is that I can basically say whatever I like and know that nobody’s going to see it.  Therapy might help, but that costs money and I’m short on that too, and it perpetuates this endless cycle of shit that sucks because of something, but that something is also caused by another thing, and so on and so on.

And like I said, I don’t see it getting any better any time soon, and that just feeds into the angst over and over again.  I’ve sacrificed so much, and there’s hardly anything left, and there are some days where I’m just out of everything.

Man, it’s great to have baseball back

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Ain’t nothing to bring us back to the joys of baseball being back in season than a team trotting out a position player to pitch in a blowout game.  On Opening Day.  Against the Chicago White Sox, fresh off of their historic record-setting 121-loss season.

I know the Braves dropped their season opener out in San Diego, but the Padres are actually a good team, and the Braves could just as easily come back to Atlanta 6-1 or 1-6 seeing as how they have the Padres and Dodgers back-to-back to start the year.

But the Angels, a team whom in spite of having lost Shohei Ohtani, still have Mike Trout finally healthy on the team, and should be better than the Chicago White Sox whom really made no attempt to compete, once again.

It’s going to be a long season for both these teams.  And it’s going to be a long season for the Braves too, because 162 games a season plus potential playoffs means a whole lot of fuckin baseball!

Really though, despite the fact that I have no real intention of watching, well, any games, I’m feeling optimistic about the Braves this season.  As long as they can remain healthy, then I think they have the chance to be a noticeably better squad this year than the one prior where they limped into the playoffs and were bounced unceremoniously.  Despite my general dissatisfaction with their typical Braves-ey lack of movement in the offseason, I do like the acquisition of Jurickson Profar, and although they’re no blockbusters, I like them getting guys like Craig Kimbrel and Alex Verdugo for depth.

Either way, short of some comical fuckups and occurrences, I wouldn’t expect much baseball talk in the brog.  I find that I’m most happiest when I’m not really paying attention to the game these days beyond a cursory glance from time to time.  I still love it, I just have so no time in my life to dedicate to it as I once did, and feel that it’s expendable in the grand spectrum of my day to day.

I still hear about the high level points without any effort, and when the day is over, it’s the dumb silly stuff like position players pitching and other goofy anomalies that I tend to enjoy writing about.

Happy Opening Day!