THE Ownedhio State – love it

I don’t really know why it is, but I always take a tremendous amount of satisfaction whenever Ohio State loses at any collegiate sport, especially football.  On a day in which I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it could be except watch movies and football, I was certainly pleased to see Virginia Tech beat an unranked Delaware and I even took some enjoyment in watching South Carolina beat Missouri since I kind of root for them now.  Through great pain, I watched Auburn fail to move the ball, at all, against Clemson.  And I took great pleasure in watching the always-overrated Notre Dame fall against, Georgia; whose fans basically dominated South Bend, and should be an embarrassment to the Irish, frankly.

But no other college football game gave me as much pleasure to see the end result than #5 Oklahoma taking down #2 THE Ohio State, in Columbus.  I don’t really know why, but I just love to see whenever Ohio State loses at anything.  I’m pretty sure, it stems from the royal THE that their fans and supporters are adamant to preface Ohio State with, but maybe it’s because they’re legitimately good at sports and they’re the titan that I personally just like to see get taken down from time to time.  Regardless, seeing them choke at home and lose in just the second week of the season is pretty much all I needed to see to feel that this is going to be a fun season.

You know, my general animosity towards TOSU probably stems from the egregious amounts of arrogance displayed by TOSU, whether it’s their legions of obnoxious fans who have to use the THE, or like when TOSU tried to copyright the acronym “TOSU” despite the fact that there are two other NCAA programs whose abbreviated name is also TOSU.  But in the case of their fans, nothing is more satisfying than knowing that every choad, broad, bro and douche that were at College GameDay, obnoxiously being TOSU fans and talking mad smack about Oklahoma is feeling that hangover of arrogantly supporting a loser.

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It wasn’t unexpected, but I’m still disappointed

Clemson beating Virginia Tech (again) for the ACC Championship was a game that would be construed as a “good game.”  The #23 Hokies did not shrivel up and get blown out like so many going up against a National Championship contender, instead keeping it close and undecided until literally 1:51 left in regulation. 

The final score was 42-35.  It was a good game.

But I’m still bummed out about it.  I realize that of all the sports I enjoy and all the sports I watch, nothing brings me down harder than Virginia Tech football.  They’re like the one team I’m ingrained to remain loyal to, so it’s their inability to reach the pinnacles of success and their failures to succeed that actually manage to make me feel mopey and disappointment when they occur.

I turned the game off before Dabo Sweeney could talk about how great of a game it was, how Virginia Tech is a program on the upswing, and other graceful remarks in said in victory.  I don’t want to hear that shit.  I don’t want to hear people saying nice things about Virginia Tech’s respectable performance in defeat.  I know all this shit.  Every Tech fan knows this shit.  None of it changes the fact that Tech still lost, and losing sucks.

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The unexpected slaughter, 2016

In 2011, Virginia Tech was really good.  They started the season 4-0 and climbed all the way up to #11 in the AP national rankings.  Then in week 5, Clemson came into Blacksburg and basically demoralized Virginia Tech on their home field with a suffocating defense.  Tech shook off the loss and then rang off seven straight wins and pretty much cruised to the Coastal title, earning a date with the winners of the Atlantic: Clemson.

And in the ACC Championship Game, it was pretty much the same thing all over again, with Clemson’s defense smothering Virginia Tech, with Tajh Boyd throwing fifty touchdowns, running in ten more and making Al Bundy’s legendary high school game seem like Pop Warner.  The two losses to Clemson would be Virginia Tech’s only losses* on the season.

*Excluding the bullshit loss to Michigan in the Sugar Bowl that wasn’t really a loss because Danny Coale’s touchdown was good but the crooked fucking refs overturned it, gifting the game to Michigan

In 2012, Virginia Tech wasn’t really that good.  But they still played Clemson, and much like the year before, Clemson hung a ton of points on them again in a blowout victory.

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I feel bad for those people who aren’t into sports

Bad news: #14 Virginia Tech loses to unranked Inferior Georgia Tech, 30-20

Good news:

  • #9 Auburn loses to unranked Georgia
  • #8 Texas A&M loses to unranked Ole Miss
  • #4 Washington loses to #20 USC
  • #3 Michigan loses to unranked Iowa
  • #2 Clemson loses to unranked Pittsburgh

Suddenly, Virginia Tech losing is no big deal.  By virtue of UNC themselves also getting upset by Duke (lol), it’s an even slate of the Hokies still being ahead of the Tarheels, and it’s going to come down to their final games against UVA and NC State respectively, to decide who gets to play against (presumably) Clemson for the ACC title.

I was looking forward to Virginia Tech not playing Clemson this year since they own the Hokies as if slavery were legal, but it’s funny how things sometimes can work out.  I’d imagine Clemson would have no problem dispatching of either Tech or UNC, but at the same time, wouldn’t it be a real gasser if Virginia Tech is the school to magically nuclear cockblock Clemson from a New Years Six bowl game?

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Happy trails, Frank

When Dadi Nicolas engulfed Tulsa’s quarterback with a monster sack on 4th down and the game on the line, to effectively seal the game, I threw my head back and let out the mother of exhaling sighs.  Absolutely nothing would have been more disheartening than seeing Frank Beamer go out on a loss, especially to a school that I had to check Wikipedia to verify whether it was a Division I or II program (D-I).

But a win is a win, and much to mine, and every Virginia Tech fan’s relief, Frank Beamer ends his legendary career, with a victory.  And just like that, the most illustrious chapter of Virginia Tech football comes to a close.

It was interesting watching Beamer on the sidelines throughout the fourth quarter of the Independence Bowl; at first, with the Hokies up fairly comfortably, there was a man watching with a deadpan look on his face, almost as if he were watching the clock tick down not just the seconds of the game, but his career.  When Tulsa scored a billion unanswered points to close the gap, the only change on Beamer’s face looked like an expression of “oh shit, here we go again,” with a small mix of “am I really going to go out like this?”  But even after Nicolas’ sack put the nail in the coffin, and the game all but sealed, was a man who was not excited, but more melancholy and almost even a little scared at the sinking reality that the ride was coming to an end.

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One more time!

One more time, for Sting Coach!

After an agonizingly painful game which saw the Hokies best UVA for the 12th consecutive time, Virginia Tech finishes the regular season at a sparkling 6-6, meaning that Virginia Tech has all but secured their place in one of the 40 Bowl games to be played around New Years.  This means Frank Beamer’s retirement is prolonged yet one more game, even after it’s already been announced that following Frank begins the audition* for Justin Fuente, now formerly of Memphis.

*I say “audition” due to the fact that in modern sports, contracts are irrelevant, and barring immediate and sustained success will henceforth be rephrased as “an era,” otherwise the coaches are vilified after their first negative season and immediately fired.

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According to wrestling logic, this is going to be an ugly finish

Honestly?  I thought Virginia Tech could’ve beaten North Carolina.  I know that North Carolina was ranked #17 going into the game and Tech was ranked somewhere between Pop Warner and Grambling State, but come on, it’s North Carolina; this wasn’t a basketball game, it was a football game.  And sure, UNC is known as the standard-bearer in bullshit student athlete ringers to field a football team, but still.

Either way, more often than naught I’m usually pretty plain when it comes to facing defeat in sports, but over the last few years, Tech games have climbed my ranks of “sports ball games that matter,” especially compared to my dwindling care of the Braves and my general lack of an NFL team to support.

The fact is, I was pretty disappointed in Tech’s overtime loss to North Carolina, mostly because of the magic comeback they put together to set up overtime in the first place, but naturally the main reason being that it was Frank Beamer’s last game in Blacksburg.

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