Tag: motherland

Suck it, Italy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

That’s just ~a little bit~ racist: after Hong Kong’s Cheung Ka-long’s gold medal victory over Italy’s Filippo Macchi in individual men’s fencing, the Italian Fencing Federation files a complaint with the IOC, accusing the refereeing to be biased because the refs were from Taiwan and South Korea, and had geographical favoritism

Man, not a whole lot to unpack here, but some pretty flagrant racism in the middle of the Olympics going on over here.  Italians crying foul and accusing refs of cooking up some home field advantage is wildly ignorant and racist considering the fencer is from Hong Kong, one ref is from Taiwan and the other ref being Korean.

Sure, there is a degree of Asians supporting Asians from time to time, but usually when it’s something where there are very few Asians present in some sort of contest, like Jeremy Lin in the NBA getting a lot of love and admiration from most Asians regardless of race.  Not the fucking Olympics, where not only are there a whole bunch of Asians present and participating in all sorts of events, they’re all representing their own cultures in neat little conveniently categorized by country.

Like, Taiwan couldn’t give two shits about Hong Kong.  They already exist with tons of beef from the mainland themselves, so they actually have something in common with HK, but a Taiwanese referee isn’t going to put their career on the line and secretly pull for a Hong Konger.  And Koreans couldn’t give even lesser of a fuck about Hong Kong.  As the kids so eloquently say these days, the fuck on out of here, Italy.

While we’re making sweeping generalizations, let’s go ahead and proclaim that there are few countries that whine and act like sore losers than Italy does.  Lose to a Chinaman in fencing?  Obviously racist and biased refereeing.  Angela Carini takes a punch and throws in the towel?  Clearly her opponent was a dude (read: she wasn’t), and drag her entire name and reputation into the mud before being proven wrong.

It’s even worse in futbol, where Italians have demonstrated a laundry list of bad behavior and reactions in the name of defeat, like fans throwing fireworks onto the field, pelting opposing players with dangerous projectiles.  In 2002, the Korean player who headed in the game-winning goal that sent Italy packing in the World Cup who happened to play for an Italian club, was cut almost immediately afterward.

But this recent episode isn’t just sore losing, it’s just straight up racist.  Ignorant, reckless and completely idiotic racism, that I had to stop and actually process just how dumb it was after hearing about it, because I almost couldn’t believe that there were people in positions capable of having direct lines with the IOC, being so juvenile and flagrant with their accusations.

Haven’t Koreans already had enough bullshit already during this Olympics?  Getting announced as the wrong country first was pretty bad, but now getting dragged into this pitiful Italy tirade is pretty bad too.

Props to Pizza Hut HK though, for sticking it to Italian culture by offering up free pineapple on pizza for the next 24 hrs.  I really wish Domino’s in Korea would do the same thing in solidarity and retaliation for Italy’s bullshit.  Kind of makes me want to go out and get some pizza with pineapple on it myself, but I think I’ll have to keep that want in my back pocket for the next time pizza is a possibility.

Good riddance, Pearl

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

TIL: the Atlanta Braves will be moving their Double-A minor league affiliate from Pearl, Mississippi to Columbus, Georgia.  They will also be ditching the Braves moniker and will hopefully be something chintzy and marketable

Not that I pay attention to every iota of Braves coverage as I once did at a point in my life, but as a fan of minor league baseball, and for lack of a better term, a fan of the Atlanta Braves, news like this piques my interest, even if this were reported way the fuck back in January of this year.

I mean, I knew that the Braves had relinquished control over all of their minor league squads back in 2021 like selling their debts, and I didn’t hate the news at all quite the contrary, because I felt that it opened the door for Braves affiliates to spread their wings and try to be something more in the spirit of minor league baseball, instead of the boring, stuffy and sterile branding of “The Braves.”

Gwinnett (AAA) had already switched over to becoming the Strippers Stripers, and Rome (A+) as of this years ditched being the Braves and became The Emperors, as in Roman emperor, and better yet, adopted emperor penguins to be their team’s mascot.  Not that I’ve been paying any attention, but for whatever reason, the Mississippi Braves had remained as such over the last two-plus seasons, and despite their freedom to do so, they didn’t appear to be in any rush to make any changes to the organization.

Until this season apparently, as it was announced that the club will be moving out of Pearl, Mississippi and moving to Columbus, Georgia, as well as ditching the Braves moniker and will be adopting a new name for the start of the 2025 minor league season.

At first blush, my thought was, oh great here we go again with a brand new fucking ballpark to build, but it turns out that there’s apparently a historic ballpark in Columbus, Golden Park, that will actually be renovated and used to house the future Columbus Braves affiliate, instead of building something from scratch.  Granted, a renovation isn’t cheap either, and I’m sure it will probably be something of a $65M tax burden for the people of Columbus to absorb, but that sure beats the $126M it took to build the Braves’ Spring Training facility from scratch in Sarasota.

Regardless of the financial burden of accommodations, this is actually a change that I don’t immediately just want to shit on upon hearing about it.  Having been to Pearl, Mississippi, solely to watch a M-Braves game, I have to say that getting the fuck out of that shithole in the middle of goddamn nowhere is nothing but good news for the Braves and frankly, all of Minor League Baseball in that nobody again will ever have to step foot in Pearl/Jackson, Mississippi after the 2024 season.

It’s the only place I’ve ever been to where I genuinely felt like I was whisked back in time at the casual ignorant racism that got in just a singular afternoon in town, from the moment I left the airport, to getting to the ballpark, and while simply getting food.  The cabbie who picked me up from the airport thought that I had to have been an actual player since I was headed to the ballpark, and upon arriving at the ballpark, I caught some kids staring at me and thinking I was Hideki Matsui.

It’s clear that Asian people aren’t a common occurrence in this chunk of the country, but god damn.  During the game, I was puckish so I went up to a concession stand where there were unsurprisingly chicken tenders and fries, and when I handed over my debit card to pay, the lady at the register examined my card and put down her bifocals, and then said to me, “oh that’s an easy one.”

Obviously having no fucking clue to what she was talking about, I asked her what, and she responded that it was my name, that it was one of those names that wasn’t too hard to pronounce.  Okay then

So needless to say, it seems like a monumental win for any person or any business or in this case, any team, to get the fuck out of Pearl, Mississippi, and head closer to somewhere that’s closer to their parent organization.  Columbus isn’t a tremendous step up from Pearl as far as not feeling like you’re in the middle of nowhere, but at least it’s a military town where people have had some etiquette and discipline beaten into them, and it’s only like a 2-3 hour drive to the Metro Atlanta area if anyone wants to feel some actual civilization.

I’m excited to eventually find out what the team will lean towards as far as a new team name, branding and identity will be.  I don’t know much about Columbus other than it being a military town, so I can’t take any snarky takes or come up with any sarcastic names to anoint them as, but hopefully the yokels out there will have the wherewithal to steer clear of the low-hanging fruit of Christopher, whom we all with brains have heard wasn’t exactly the best guy in history.

But hey, there’s always the Columbus Barves, wouldn’t that be some shit, to take the popularized typo-meme-unofficial sarcasm name for whenever the team fucks up, and make it official?  A guy can dream.

KOREA VERSUS EVERYBODY

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

BBC: South Korea wrongly introduced as North Korea at the Paris Summer Olympics

If anyone has ever been curious to why I have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to the treatment of Koreans, this is a perfect example of why.  The bottom line is that my general opinion is that Korea; Korean culture, Korean contributions to the world, and Korean things in general; gets no respect from the rest of the fucking world.

Everything Japan does is admired and revered by the rest of the planet, and all UN countries are so scared of China’s population numbers and economic potential, that they all kowtow to them, as if they were the grasshoppers from A Bug’s Life, after the ants had uprisen against them.

Meanwhile, Korea has historically been an exemplary ally to the UN, the United States and many other countries.  They haven’t enslaved or bombed anyone, they’re not always lurking in the shadows installing sleepers all around the globe to spy and disrupt.  Korean economy is stable, prosperous, and other than the fact that everyone is black haired and narrow eyed, Korean society really is a lot like American culture.

Yet, people can’t even put down Asian people without disregarding Koreans, like when racists mock Asian people, asking them if they’re Chinese or Japanese.  Saying any other country much less Korea usually results in the person asking having to grind gears in their brains to process the existence of any other Asian race, but the fact that Korea is lumped into that denigrating B-tier of Asian countries fills me up with piss and vinegar.

Just in general, Korea is overlooked and not shown the respect that I think that the entire fucking culture is worthy of.  It doesn’t matter how many global industries Koreans dominate, how competent and good at athletics or competitive events they become, because we’re not Chinese or Japanese, the rest of the world tends to gloss over us, and it leaves me feeling disgusted with the entire world whenever shit like this occurs.

I mean seriously, the fucking Olympics?  The announcers had one goddamn job to do, which was to just name countries, and they can’t even get the Koreas correct?  You know they have rehearsals and practices for putting on monumentally things like this, and yet on global television, they still manage to bungle it the fuck up and mistake the Koreas.

The thing is in America, there have been numerous announcers, news anchors and commentators who have been shitcanned getting caught on a hot mic saying things that were either flagrantly racist or perceived to be racist, primarily to black people.  I would, seriously and as objective as I could try to be, put this up there with that kind of mistake, and if I were the superiors to the both English and French announcers, consider dismissal for both of these ignorant fucks for one, not knowing their world geography for the fucking Olympics, and two, being a colossal embarrassment to the entire International Olympic Committee.

But seeing as the only party being denigrated by their mistake was “just” Koreans, I don’t really see much retribution occurring.  Twitter apologies are not sufficient, and on behalf of Koreans worldwide, I do not accept it.  It’s insulting and embarrassing, and Koreans deserve better than this.

I hope this slight lights a fire under the asses of the 159 Korean Olympians, North and South, and they squeeze out a few extra medal wins here and there out of vindictive spite alone.  Not that it would really matter or be noticed, since the only countries that ever really get any spotlight at every Olympics is the US, China, Japan, Russia and whatever host country.

But whatever, fuck it.  It’s just another day at the office for Korea versus Everybody.

Let’s talk about Cobra Kai S6.1

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Disclaimer: I make no promises that I won’t write anything that could be construed as a spoiler.  Heck, even the photo above could be considered a spoiler to some with defined opinions, but I don’t really think it is, given the development brought on in S5.

But unsurprisingly, as rare as it is for me to do in my life, I was on top of, and I’ve already finished watching the first installment of Cobra Kai S6.  I knew it was going to be multi-part, because Netflix is diabolical like that, and American media is incapable of finishing any story in a singular, logical, digestible experience, and either makes it abysmally short and rushed like Game of Thrones, or in the case of Cobra Kai, Infinity War, Fast X, Harry Potter, and The Hunger Games to name a few, requiring multiple installments.

However, I was mortified to find out that the final season of Cobra Kai wasn’t going to be just two installments, but three motherfucking installments, culminating probably around this time next year.  I don’t know definitively, but I want to say that it’s already been all filmed and wrapped up, and this is just Netflix further creeping towards becoming cable television #2, by making viewers wait instead of the binging everyone prefers to do.

And I really hope that it’s true that they’re done, because the cast of this show is starting to really show their age in embarrassing ways.  Kenny looks like he’s gone through puberty twice, and is basically bigger than all of the kids’ cast.  Demitri is now like 6’10, and it’s hilarious to hear a character talk about his advantageous size in a fight, when he was literally the worst kid to ever become a regular karate student in the beginning.  Daniel’s ridiculously hot wife Amanda is now showing the wrinkles above her lips that come with age.  Even Kyler, went from looking like a 22-year old high school underclassman in early seasons to looking like a 36-year old college freshmen trying to pledge for a fraternity.

Needless to say, if they haven’t wrapped up filming and plan on doing it all the way into next year, Kenny might be a divorced father of three by then, Chozen will have turned into Master Roshi, and William Zabka might start looking like old Vin Diesel by then.

As for the story and execution of the first installment of S6, absolutely nothing about it was any surprise.  The groups are all going to be preparing for the Sekai Taikai tournament, and of course there’s continued repeated spats between Daniel and Johnny.  The kids have seemingly all squashed their prior beefs, and it’s almost as insufferably peaceful like the Power Rangers the way everyone is so indoctrinated by Miyagi-Do.

Frankly it’s only the hints of chaos that seem remotely interesting, like the Mr. Miyagi’s mystery box of his past, and the family issues that befall Tory and the resulting actions, but other than that, the five episodes flew by in a relatively uneventful manner.

The series’ signature of dipping into the past and dredging up old characters wasn’t really that prevalent in these first five episodes, and I still believe that within the final ten episodes over two installments, it’s inevitable that Hilary Swank will show up, with the off-chance that Jackie Chan, Iron Monkey, Jaden Smith or any of the kids from the Kung Fu Kid makes appearances, so that literally every gamut of the previous Karate Kid films can be referenced at some point.

But the one thing that I really wanted to talk about and what spawned the urgency to make this post, was what was shown at the very end of the fifth episode.  Okay, **[spoiler alert]**

It took me a few seconds after the big reveal that Cobra Kai was still alive and well, despite the collapse of their American operations courtesy of Terry Silver, that the new and most fucking definitely improved logo, was in Korean.  Like when Kwon and two unnamed Cobras came walking out in slow motion in the traditional black gi with the giant cobra on it, I was kind of just like ohhhh shit, but then my eyes did a double take, and I could see that the Cobra Kai wordmark was in Korean, and then I was like OHHHH SHIT

Despite my general fandom of the Karate Kid franchise throughout my life, and general appreciation and admiration for the fire branding of Cobra Kai itself, I never did ever get any shirts or hoodies with the OG logo.  The hipster in me defied the all the other hipsters who all swooped up and bought shirts and hoodies, and I kind of didn’t want to just be another one of them.

But a Cobra Kai logo, written in KOREAN, I’m just like, there has never been something in existence more tailor made to well, me, ever in existence of humanity. 

This is something that belongs to me, and other Korean people who are fans of the franchise and the brand.  This does not belong to any of the Koreebs, the white people, the black people, or anyone else who also are Cobra Kai fans who already have their OG black, yellow and red Cobra Kai stuff.

I was like, I have never needed this logo on a piece of apparel more than anything in my entire life.  And at first, I had a tremendous amount of dread that this would not be produced, much like the absolute nuclear gold mine the show and Champion athletics sat on but never did anything with, but upon doing a cursory Google search after watching S6E5, I found some immediate results.

I had concerns that these were probably like some cheap bootleg shit from Temu or Alibaba or some shit, but then I found a link to this Hot Topic shirt, and as easy as it is to dunk on Hot Topic, they still carry some semblance of legitimacy in my opinion, and despite the fact that I typically have choice paralysis and can never pull the trigger on anything, I didn’t hesitate (beyond making sure I made the transaction on my laptop so I could get 2% Rakuten cashback) to purchase it, and eagerly await it’s arrival in the mail.

If for anything at all, the introduction of the Korean Cobra Kai logo, completely sets the season on fire for me, and I wait impatiently for the next installments of the show.  I still resent that they’re releasing it like this, but there’s no shortage of shit on my list that I can watch over the next few months to fill the time.

God damn I can’t wait to get my shirt.

Landon Knack won the MLB Seoul Series

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

lol’d heartily: while in Seoul, Korea, Los Angeles Dodgers caught on camera marveling and drooling over Korean actress Jeon Jong-Seo throwing out the ceremonial first pitch during an exhibition game between the Dodgers and the KBO’s Kiwoom Heroes

Honestly, I didn’t think I’d get as much enjoyment out of the MLB Seoul Series as I did.  I’m so far removed from my general fandom of baseball these days, and I’m so cynical and jaded, that I figured this was all just some typical cash grab by MLB to try and dupe and hoover money out of the Korean market, and that it’s always kind of weird, rhythm-wise when MLB teams play regular season games in Asia during Spring Training, and then come back to wrap up Spring Training before re-embarking on the regular season for 160 more games.

But then seeing highlights of Freddie Freeman acquainting himself to the Korean fans with a blast of a home run, and seeing the Padres’ Kim Ha-Seong coming home and blasting two dingers of his own against the LG Twins were pleasant highlights.  And then there was the gleefully enjoyable wake-up call on the final day of the trip, waking up and checking the score to the Padres/Dodgers game to find out that the Dodgers’ $325M acquisition Yoshinobu Yamamoto, got absolutely blown up, lasted one inning, and took a monumental L to start his MLB career.

I mean seriously, there isn’t a better narrative than a Japanese pitcher getting absolutely shelled while pitching in Korea.  I’m sure he will settle down and have a very fine season and possibly career in America, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t smile like the Grinch upon seeing his woefully embarrassing line for the morning, and knowing he’ll be leaving the motherland with little else than a big-ass L.

However, the best story of the trip, was undoubtedly the hilarious spectacle of the entire Dodgers roster going gonzo once they laid their eyes on Korean actress Jeon Jong-Seo, taking the hill for the ceremonial first pitch. I mean, I can’t blame all these baseball bros, for most of them, they’ve probably never seen a proper Korean celebrity like Jeon, with her perfect face,* slim figure, legs that go to the moon, and for a Korean girl, she got a little bit of booty.*  

*most likely surgically enhanced

And then she proceeds to hit the target pretty impressively, considering she was kicking off on the wrong side of the rubber.  But it didn’t stop pretty much everyone in the Dodgers’ dugout, most visibly Ryan Brazier, Gavin Stone, Gavin Lux from letting their jaws hang to the ground.  And hilariously extra were Tyler Glasnow, Chris Taylor and surprisingly, the happily married Freddie Freeman from staring a little too hard at Jeon.

But to me, the best part about the whole thing is that if there was going to be a singular winner of the entire Seoul Series, it’s definitely #96 for the Dodgers, Landon Knack, who was the guy who caught the first pitch from Jeon, but also got to take his photograph with her afterward.  Without question, Knack is envy of the entire Dodgers locker room, getting to be the guy that got to get up close with the Korean bombshell, and even put a hand on her, during the photograph.

The thing with ceremonial first pitches is that with 162 games plus exhibitions and playoffs for some, there are a whole lot of ceremonial first pitches in a season.  Every now and then, it’s going to be a legitimate A-lister or powerful figure, but for the most part, it’s going to be like the local Wells Fargo regional office’s VP’s son type of guys throwing out the lion’s share of ceremonial first pitches throughout a year.

The rule of thumb typically is that the bigger the celebrity or figure it is throwing out the first pitch, the higher caliber of player will be behind home plate waiting to catch the ball.  When George W. Bush threw out the first pitch, Ivan Rodriguez caught him.  When Pedro Martinez returned to Boston after being inducted into the Hall of Fame, David Ortiz caught him.  The list goes on and on, where depending on the level of celebrity, the higher the caliber of player is waiting to catch it.

And it’s clear that the Dodgers weren’t made aware of who was throwing out the ceremonial first pitch in their exhibition with the Kiwoom Heroes, because they sent a guy with the number 96 out to go catch.  Because the rule of thumb is that the higher and wonkier the number is in Spring Training, they’re younger minor league guys who are actively in a tryout phase with the team.  I actually had to Google the Dodgers’ 40-man roster to even find out who #96 was, and I still have no idea who Landon Knack really is.  His minor league numbers look promising, and I’m sure he’ll have a new number at some point this year, but the truth is that he was the low-man on the totem pole, thrust out there to do grunt work.

Clearly the mainstays of the Dodgers couldn’t be bothered to go out and catch a ceremonial first pitch, so they sent Landon Knack to go do it, and gee golly I’m sure Knack couldn’t have been happier to do the duty when he saw Jeon Jong-Seo step onto the field and take the mound.  Without question, if any of the players knew who was throwing it, and what Jeon Jong-Seo looked like, we probably would’ve seen Tyler Glasnow or Chris Taylor fighting over who would get to catch.

Unsurprising, as soon as the Seoul Series was over, Knack was immediately cut and sent down to the minor leagues to start the year, because anyone wearing a number higher than 70 typically is, unless they’re one of the baseball edge lords that asks for a high number.  Regardless of if he gets called up or not, gets hurt or not, Landon Knack is definitely going to have a core memory from his brief trip to Korea.  And his teammates will always be green with envy when he inevitably makes his picture with Jeon Jong-Seo his phone’s lock screen, and gets to flash it around when he’s called back up to the majors.

Without question, Landon Knack definitely won the Seoul Series, and MLB players probably will remember this the next time they’re sent out to Korea for any exhibitions.

Dear world: it’s not you, it’s me

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

After all, I am Korean.  And no culture has higher expectations from other people as Koreans do, and I ponder the day if and when anyone can prove to me that anyone can work harder than a Korean can, because as far as my personal experiences are concerned, I’m hard pressed to ever have bared witness to such.

Mythical wife and I got into a little tiff coming back from the airport, because she was tired of everything coming out of my mouth being a complaint, and I was tired of being criticized for speaking negatively in a scenario where everything was going annoyingly when I feel that everything else I do is usually for the sake of others because I’m always trying to please everyone.  Atlanta Hartsfield Latoya-Jackson Ching Chong Chang really is capable of bringing the worst out of everyone at the drop of a hat, even those who are on their way out of it.

We landed right at midnight, and having sat at the very back of the aircraft, we’re the last to deplane, which is never a pleasant experience sitting in a giant metal tube with stagnant air for an extra 20 minutes than most other people.  Naturally, we’re at the very end of the terminal, so it’s a quarter mile to get to the escalators only to find out that the Pain Train shuttle is on reduced service and only one side of the tracks are operating, so we start walking, only for there to be assholes who clog up the moving walkway with wheelchairs they’re using as push carts or people just too fucking stupid and/or oblivious and not moving out the way for those actually walking.

We get on the next pain train, and of course, it stops because the tracks are clogged, right before we need to get off, adding even more time to our arrival, to which I am being cognizant about because as it’s past midnight, a new day is ticking, and I don’t want to get charged even more for parking than I have to at this point, so getting out as soon as possible is the objective.

Arriving at the main terminal, it turns out that basically the entire north wing is cordoned off, so we have to do a really cumbersome detour around south and then back to north, and of course the parking payment machines are all gone, presumably so that people can no longer pre-pay for their parking and increase the chances of time lapsing further while you get to your car, and drive through the maze-like exits of the on-site parking.

By the time we’re off the premises, mythical wife and I are already not speaking, because she’s tired of my complaining, and I’m over not being allowed to be upset at the fact that Atlanta Hartsfield Latoya-Jackson is run by brain dead invalids who love to parrot that they’re the busiest airport in the world, leaving out the fact that such business is wholly a result of the fact that they’re run by a bunch of brain dead invalids.

I don’t apologize for having higher expectations of the world around me, and I understand that the only one set up for failure for having such a mindset is myself, because the rest of the non-Korean world is way more accepting of substandard performance out of fucking everyone than I am.  And like a self-fulfilling prophecy, I am failing, because I fall victim to getting annoyed by fucking everything, because nobody in the world is capable of performing a job at a satisfactory level, seemingly anywhere I go.

I know the easy solution to a large percentage of the angst I experience on a daily basis would probably go away if I simply lowered my expectations on the world around me and were better capable of accepting the fact that the world is way less competent than I hope they could be, but it’s difficult for me.  I’m Korean, and culturally, Korean people expect a lot out of other people, and it’s never not disappointing when our expectations are not met.  This is a facet of my personality that in spite of my American upbringing that remains very much Korean, and it sucks because it means I’m an easy mark for disappointment, negativity and pessimism.

I don’t mean to be so negative and pessimistic and nihilistic about the world around me, but sometimes I really can’t help it.  I expect basic competence from everyone around me, and when everyone around me mostly, inevitably falls short, it’s a disappointment.  But I’m not going to apologize for voicing my opinions; I may try to be more cognizant that not everyone is going to want to hear them, but I don’t apologize if they come out.  If the world around me were more competent at their jobs and fostered efficiency and smooth operating, I wouldn’t have room for complaint, and in fact be grateful and praising of good work, because few things please me more than benefiting from efficient operating.

But as the subject of this post says, I know it’s not the world’s fault that I’m always so cranky and critical.  It’s entirely on me, because I have too many expectations from everyone, that I’m only setting myself up for let down and disappointment when they all inevitably fail to meet such par but lofty standards.  I’m working on it as much as a person like me can possibly work on it.

Order has been restored

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

While we were all sleeping: SK Telecom’s T1 squad wins the League of Legends World Championship for the fourth time, defeating China’s Weibo Gaming in a 3-0 stomping

Despite the fact that I don’t play anymore, I still had a loose ear to the ground when Worlds began.  Obviously, I’m always hopeful that a Korean team comes out the victor, but considering over the last few years, Chinese teams have finally gotten the monkey off their back and traded some championships with Korean squads, it’s really a jump ball between the two LoL powerhouse nations.

There was a moment of dread when the final four shook out to be three Chinese squads and T1 as Korea’s last hope, especially since the event was taking place in Korea, and I couldn’t think of a more disappointing scene than Chinese celebrating a championship in the home of their overlords.  The anxious feeling didn’t go away when T1 survived the semi-finals, because there was yet a second chance at China getting to upend Korea, and over the last few years, history has not been kind to T1, with more close calls than there were actual victories, with T1’s last championship being all the way back in 2016.

But that’s what’s good about something that’s happening on the other side of the planet, my ass was asleep while the finals were occurring, and I woke up to be pleasantly pleased to hear that T1 not only won the championship, they did so in an extremely dominant, one-sided affair, with not only T1 winning in a 3-0 sweep, the cumulative time of play was barely over 90 minutes, with T1 eating their breakfast in a sequence of 30 minute matches.

I’ve been to two Worlds championships too, I can assure that all the logistics, setup, festivities, ceremonies and break in between combined probably equaled to two days’ worth of hours, and fewer things are probably as unsatisfying to the event and all the people who traveled long distances to partake, than the actual main event lasting 90 minutes.  I’m quite tickled imagining the ironic dissatisfaction from all those who run the event that it was over so quickly.

I spent a few minutes this morning, trying to think of the best analogy to describe T1’s rofl-stomping of Weibo, to capture the combined sentiment of nationalism, shade, hometown pride and disappointment for spectators, and the following come to mind:

  • 2007 College Football National Championship: Florida cruises past Ohio State 41-14. Florida QB Chris Leak makes a remark about how they played tougher teams in the SEC than Ohio State
  • 1995 Houston Rockets: the #6 going into the playoffs, they are pushed the distance in every round of the Western Conference playoffs by the Jazz, Suns and Spurs, but then go on to sweep the Orlando Magic in the NBA Finals
  • 1997 Braves at Yankees: Greg Maddux throws a complete game shutout in 84 pitches to quickly dispatch of the Yankees. Legend has it that he did not shower and rushed out of the locker room immediately afterward because there was a tee-time he wanted to catch.
  • Tiny Toons: Happy World Land episode: Plucky Duck is invited on Hamton’s family trip to the Happy World Land amusement park, goes on a grueling miserable car trip, only to discover that after arriving, they only ride on the complimentary park monorail once, and call it a trip and go back home

I made a joke that Faker and/or the rest of the team probably had daily League of Legends practice at 7pm local that they didn’t want to be late to, because starting late meant finishing late, so it was in their best interests to put Weibo away as quickly as they could.

But anyway, just like that, SK Telecom wins their fourth LoL World Championship; and for the record, there have been 13 championships, with T1 being involved in seven of them, with them not even existing for the first two.  With Faker being a member of all of them, this is his fourth ship, an unprecedented achievement, especially in a field where change happens more rapidly than the stock market.  Needless to say, with an actual victory, order most definitely has been restored in the competitive League of Legends scene.