Tag: observations

Jaguar’s new logo = Publix Supermarkets

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Trent Crimm, The Independent: Jaguar unveils new branding and logo and the crowd goes mild but eventually more into ire

I don’t particularly care much for Jaguar as far as cars go, they’ve always been a little pretentious and overrated as far as my tastes are concerned, but I also wouldn’t put them in the category of cars that I wouldn’t ever get if I had the means necessary.  Their aesthetics aren’t really my cup of tea, but I can like what I see on a paper when it comes to performance specs.

That being said, put me in the camp of people whose interest in the car company most definitely trended downward upon seeing their rebranding.  Jaguar becoming JaGUar, with this absolute masterclass of horseshit spinning from their corresponding press release:

seamlessly blended upper and lower case characters in visual harmony”

Nah, of course it’s not as cerebral as that.  The designer, and I use that term loosely, didn’t like the way the lowercase G looked and didn’t like the extra stroke that the lower case U had and went with upper case variants which looked more seamless; and then the right VPs, with their wealth of artistic credibility, happened to like the way it looked, gave it the green light, and away we go.

Looking at it made me immediately think about Publix Supermarkets’ logo and possibly the Beats by Dre identity,* but mostly Publix, and it always amazes me when the brand designers of the world don’t really take any time to research the logos of the world and take a modicum of effort to not look like someone else’s identity.  Because then rogue designers like me can’t clown on them and make the easy swap of logo into what they really look like, and if I’m someone with any clout, or at least tempted to try and engage Publix on social media and post this graphic just to see their reaction.

*also there’s this regional adult store chain that also utilizes a similar typeface that I always see billboards for while driving to Disney World that is somewhat related to the jaguar animal kekeke

All the same, it’s kind of sad.  I might not have been that high on Jaguar as a brand, but their identity was pretty unmistakable, with the silhouette of the jaguar leaping over a fairly nondescript bold all-caps wordmark.  But there’s this overarching cry in the design community, that modern branding is all metamorphosizing into a very diluted pool of vanilla “safe” logos that are all looking the same and homogenized into these blobs of non-personality.  Serifs and symbols have become enemies, variations of Helvetica Neue and Gotham are overtaking visual identities everywhere, and with JaGUar’s rebranding, another long-standing reputable brand has deliberately chosen to converge with the masses and adopt a boring, vanilla, forgettable identity, once the initial reactions and internet ridicule all die down.

That being said, I think it’s only a matter of time before JaGUar releases some turd on wheels that’s a hybrid crossover CUV that looks just like a Corolla Cross or a Buick Encore, and then we will truly know that JaGUar has really given up on trying to compete in the market as much as they’re just trying to blend in and hide in plain sight.

I mean with a logo that looks like this, they’re already halfway there.

If this were my Korean family, I’d jump out a window

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

FOX26: 17-year, 8 month girl passes the California bar exam, breaking the record for youngest person to do so, previously held by, her brother, besting him by three months

Originally, this was just going to be a fairly predictable, forgettable post about how tryhard these Korean teenagers are, how they propagate Korean stereotypes and make it harder for the rest of the Koreans on the planet that don’t want to be doctor or lawyer and have to go to Harvard or Yale, but then I found this specific article that did a little bit of a dive into their entire family, and then the whole thing kind of turned into a horror story that makes me feel all triggered and grateful that this wasn’t my life growing up.

But when I found out about these tryhard teens who both passed the California bar at the age of 17, my first thought was that man, I certainly hope they don’t have any younger siblings, because the bar set by their asshole elder siblings is going to be one hell of a lofty goal to aspire to best.  And then I found this article that goes in depth to their entire family and not only is there one younger sibling, there’s actually two more kids in line behind the brother and sister who passed the bar at 17.

My next thought was that man, life is going to suck for the two of those younger siblings.

Turns out that the 14-year old next in line, is already in her second year of law school.  I don’t know how long law school goes, but I’m going to imagine that she’s probably going to do whatever it takes in order to take the bar exam when she’s like 16 years old, and will probably kill herself if she fails to best her nuna.

But if she succeeds?  Man, it’s going to suck to be the baby of this family, who’s just eight years old now, but will probably have to pass the bar at 15 in order to keep up with the escalating expectations that his asshole siblings keep heaping onto him.  But the little nerd has already declared his intention of being an attorney as well, to the point where he’s dressing up as a little Korean Carlton Banks, pretending to be an attorney already.

Man though, the thought of if this was my own Korean family growing up, just makes want to go all Tommen Baratheon if I were the baby of this family and not of my own.

The best part is that neither of the parents aren’t even lawyers either; appa is a patent clerk, and umma is a baking teacher, and apparently the two of them somehow had House Hunters finances to embark on having four fucking kids. 

I can’t imagine the old-world Korean pressures that they put on their kids to the point where they not only managed to get not just one, not just two, but three and potentially all four kids to actually want to become full-ass lawyers.  Lord knows my parents and probably countless Korean parents across America would love to invent a time machine to go to the future, abduct these parents to bring them back to their children’s childhoods and learn how to brainwash them into wanting to become lawyers themselves.

This family sounds like they have to be the biggest squares on the fucking planet, giving Koreans a sad name of being so overachieving and so tryhard.  I imagine family dinners must be a real hoot, with a whole bunch of lawyers around the table, and when they get together with extended family, I’m sure all the cousins and aunts and uncles are real thrilled when they roll in luxury cars that budding lawyer salaries are financing, full of tryhards ready to argue and rebut and well actually everything anyone says.

Sure, they will inevitably make a ton of money if they all climb the lawyer ladders they’re aspiring to climb, but all the same I have no other envy for them.  I’m sure their life is nothing like Suits, is tremendously more boring, and that these nerds probably have even less hobbies than a drowning dad like me.

The whitest thing since January 6th

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I will never understand how social media algorithms work, but for whatever reason, I was fed some videos about a dude who proclaims to be a “lawn dad” and has a bunch of videos of him working on his flawless, impeccably curated lawn.  At first, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a little at the obvious white privilege I was watching of a white man painstakingly pampering his grass, but I was learning some interesting techniques of lawn care, like leveling out divots.

Eventually, I saw a video of the same dude, and it looked like he was doing some more mowing of his grass, but the caption said something along the lines of removing the morning dew from the grass to reduce moisture and create conditions that could lead to mold, mildew or whatever nasty growth occurs from moisture.  But the fact of the matter was that lawn dad was basically squeegeeing his grass, and at this point I was just like what the fuck.

The concern over something so inconsequential to the survival of the human race.  The excessive pampering over a concern that is naturally regulated by Mother Nature, the sun and the great outdoors.  Calling himself a “lawn dad.”

Yeah, all this bullshit is a whole lot of peak white guy, and probably the whitest content I’ve seen since footage of the January 6th storming of the Capitol.

Now I know a lot of people always recommend, avoid the comments, but when I see something so full of shit, I can’t help but be curious on what is being said in the comments.  Fuck it, I often times enjoy reading the comments, because sometimes I discover some really good memes in them, and as long as I don’t participate, there’s few things I enjoy more than seeing some good internet squabbling.

Anyway, I was relieved to see that there were plenty of commenters like me who were weirded out by just how much time and effort lawn dad puts into his lawn, calling him out for having extraordinary amounts of extraneous time, resource, privilege and all sorts of white guy attributes without specifically referring to his whiteness.

Naturally, these responses triggered a tremendous amount of mostly white, white knights, who were more than willing to trade barbs with other commenters calling lawn dad out on his privilege, and it goes without saying that those flinging stones were likely people who were lawn dads in their own right, or were so inspired that they were considering their path to becoming one too.

The point is, lawn dad life is clearly a life without kids or any of the daily struggles that those not from a background of privilege can enjoy themselves.  I’m like, motherfucker, have some kids and see if you still have any time left in your life to wick dew or pattern lines into your grass, but that being said, a guy like this probably has a trad wife who does all of the parenting without him so that he can go play around in his yard all hours of the day.

Question is, when election time was in full swing, does a lawn dad dare risk poking holes into his lawn to plant his orange guy political signs, or does the health of his lawn supersede his support for racist bigots?

Can it be a HIPAA violation to be judgmental pricks?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Like many people (should), I take my health seriously.  I exercise regularly, I’m (mostly) mindful of what I eat, I try to get a consistent amount of sleep each night, I drink lots of water, and I avoid sick people whenever I can, my own family notwithstanding.

However with kids, that last part becomes nigh impossible, especially when we get into the cold and flu season, and despite the fact that I’m not a fan of coughing and sneezing right into my face, they’re my kids, and it goes without saying a lot of times, exposure to airborne illness is unavoidable.

I woke up the other day with a tickle in my throat, and my head feeling like a bowling ball.  It stung when I swallowed, which was consistent from the night before where I began to suspect that I might be coming down with something.  During this time of the year, and especially when my kids are sick, I rinse out my sinuses multiple times a day, which is something I swear by and something I attribute my general ability to avoid getting sick to, but with as much coughing and sneezing I’ve had done in my face, even rinsing 3-4 times a day has its limitations.

My general modus operandi when it comes to the onset of sickness, is to go to urgent care and start medications as soon as I can.  Getting in front of sicknesses has worked wonders in the past, and it’s what I do in order to minimize sick time and more importantly, be up and healthy so that I can care for my kids.

It’s what I did this past weekend, and after my initial vitals were taken, where everything was normal like my blood pressure, temperature, pulse, etc, even I began to wonder if I had jumped the gun too early.  Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who was thinking this, because the NP who had seen me, I could feel the judgment coming from her that I was in pretty good shape to be coming into urgent care, and probably triggering her internal flags that I was probably some medication-seeking junkie or something.

She told me that Mucinex DM would be sufficient at dealing with what I thought was going to be the illness coming, and that over-the-counter drugs should counteract my symptoms.  But probably because I had paid my co-pay and I suspect this clinic has some arrangement with whatever manufacturer produces Prednisolone, they gave me a script for that to deal with the cough, that was just only happening occasionally to me, but #1 sounds like a nightmare, and that’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen to me.

As I was leaving my appointment, I was handed my discharge papers, and I noticed that on the front of it was stapled this little addition that I hadn’t gotten before: Antibiotics Aren’t Always the Answer, which was basically this condescending little FAQ that seemed directed to people like me who had the audacity to come to a place called urgent care, for symptoms remotely nowhere near urgent.

Here’s the thing though, if there were a place I could go to get immediate medical consult, and not have to wait 4-6 fucking weeks, I would go there.  But because there is not, I go to a place where I can get immediate consult, even if it’s called urgent care and my symptoms are not urgent.  Such is the nature of American healthcare, where we’ve been pigeonholed into such limited options.

But I interpreted this note on my papers as the NP’s way of trying to give me a gentle reminder that my issues weren’t severe and that she probably thinks I’m a person chasing prescription medication.  And honestly, I don’t really appreciate it.

She doesn’t know my circumstances.  A lot of people I know don’t understand my circumstances.

I am the primary caregiver for my kids.  I’m the one person who can’t afford to be shelved due to bullshit sicknesses because the world can’t mask up or stay home when they’re not feeling well.  Sure, there are others who can fill in when it’s necessary, but if it’s under my control to optimize my recovery time and get in front of things to stop them from escalating to an addling illness, I’m going to fucking do them.

Nobody else wakes up at 6:40 every single day of the week to make sure breakfast is made and lunches are prepared for school.  Nobody else gets up in the middle of the night when one my kids has a nightmare and needs comfort.  I’m the one who goes to the school for the kids’ activities and I’m the one who takes the kids out to the park or for Friday ice cream, or most anything that requires physical presence.

Needless to say, I wasn’t pleased with the passive aggressive insinuation that I was seeking medical attention unnecessarily.  I paid my co-pay, and I had every right to be there.  Furthermore, at the time I went, I was the only person waiting on any sort of consultation, it’s not like it was a packed clinic full of ailing people that I was cockblocking from getting critical treatment.  If they didn’t feel I needed to be there, they would be more than welcome to let me know this, refund my copay and send me off, with me eating the cost in time.

I do what I do in order to be in as tip-top condition as I can, all the time, in order to be the best dad that I can be for my kids, because the last thing I want is to be the dad that’s always sick, seldom capable, and never present.  Even if it means hitting up urgent care at the first sign of sickness, I’m not going to wait until any shit to get full blown before I pull the trigger and have to wait for medications to kick in, when I can act first and be the one doing any kicking to any ailments.  I’m going to do this every single time, and hopefully with less judgment in the future.

It’s almost as if Kenny Omega didn’t work for another promotion

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

YT: Kenny Omega makes his first appearance in six months at New Japan Pro Wrestling’s Power Struggle show, promotes potential match at NJPW WrestleDynasty

One of the things that I’ve been saying, even since the inception of All Elite Wrestling, is that Kenny Omega’s heart has never left Japan, despite the fact that he is one of the founders and is a vice president of AEW.  If I had to guess, he left and helped start AEW because Tony Khan was paying truckloads of money to everyone to help get the promotion started, not to mention that he kind of hit a ceiling in NJPW.

Aside from the money, it was an opportunity to really shape and create and cement his legacy as one of the greatest talents to ever exist in the business of professional wrestling, and I can’t fault the guy at all for taking the bag and trying to secure his financial future while he was still a hot commodity in the industry.

But let’s try and be objective here, his body of work under the AEW banner pales in comparison to all the performances he’s put on while under an NJPW flag.  Yes, it’s debatable that he was younger, more prime, more spry while he was with NJPW, and his deteriorating health really started to come into play after AEW was launched.  All valid points; but I counter with his matches with Will Ospreay a year+ ago when they were doing several AEW vs. NJPW cross-promotions.

No doubt Ospreay is a world-class talent that is capable of having great matches with most anyone, but it’s not like he had to carry Omega; something about Omega wrestling Ospreay in Japan, the guy pulls out a legendary match out of nowhere and then has an encore performance against Ospreay again when the time came for him to return the favor.  Wrestling in Japan and against NJPW talent really brings the best out in Omega, and if this isn’t a sure-fire tell that the man really has never taken his heart out of Japan, I don’t know what is.

Getting back to the linked video though, this was a spirited, heartfelt promo in my opinion, of Kenny Omega being where he’s clearly the most comfortable, in Japan, speaking Japanese, to fans whom he can relate to, appreciate him, and shares a mutual respect for, and not the snarky, sarcastic overboard hipster fans that tend to make up the majority of AEW fanbase.

Listening him put over New Japan, the country of Japan, and how much he loves it, I can’t help but wonder what goes on through the mind of Tony Khan, his boss in AEW, when he sees his very own, highly-paid and highly-respected talent gushing so hard over his former employer?  It’s obvious that Omega has a higher regard for everything Japan over his actual employer, and I can’t help but feel embarrassed for TK and AEW that he’s putting them over so hard, because I’m hard pressed to recall at any point where he’s ever been so heartfelt and genuine to an AEW crowd.

Either way, when it really comes down to it, I really just hope that Kenny Omega has the opportunity to regain his health, and get back into the wrestling ring, because the industry as a whole is better with Kenny Omega in it.  I want the guy to be happy, because when his heart is into it, there legitimately are fewer better in the business that can put on an incredible match, but I’m dubious that whatever he does under an AEW banner would ever be able to compete with anything he does under an NJPW one.

Eviction Notice: the extreme politics household

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

There’s a household in my neighborhood that would classify as an extreme supporter of orange guy.  Unfortunately, they live pretty close to me, so it’s impossible to not notice the majority of the bullshit that I’m about to detail.

When I first moved into the neighborhood, it didn’t take long before, for whatever reason, they put up a T/P sign up in their yard; mind you, this was in 2017, and we were already a year into this dictatorship, and I can’t help but feel like this sign going up was kind of directed at mythical wife and I, for being this mixed couple that had the audacity to move in fairly close proximity to them.

The sign got blown away during the hurricane season months later, and I remember lol’ing heartily at seeing the stand of the sign still in their yard, with the sign itself nowhere to be seen.

Suffice to say, 2020 was not a good year for them, having to exist in a world where their lord king was knocked out of power, and I guess I was delusional to think that that would be the end to their bullshit, because it was only the beginning.  Their property and their belongings eventually became their canvases to express their disdain with the state of America, and over the span of the last few years, there have been a revolving door of signs, flags, cardboard cutouts and other orange guy paraphernalia adorning their house, the yard, and even their own primary vehicle.

I don’t pay a tremendous amount of attention to world news or political news because I would rather stab myself in the dick, but it was always obvious that Joe Biden did something, based on the rapidly changing reactionary décor of the orange house’s entrance window; sometimes it would be an upside American flag, which really should be reserved for genuine states of distress but here we are, a black and blue WE BACK THE BLUE flag, a red MAGA flag, or sometimes a lifesize cutout of orange guy is just thrown up there, smiling like the sex offender out at the rest of the community.

Unsurprising, their front yard has become a battlefield of orange guy supporting signs over the last few weeks, and it started with one generic sign, but over the span of the last week, the signs have multiplied greatly, with all these fairly niche and overboard signs featuring silhouettes of the orange guy, presumably after the first assassination attempt, really expressing their defiance of Democratic America, and the fairly recent array of signs that are basically the lowest common denominator of ORANGE GUY GOOD, KAMALA BAD, like ORANGE GUY LOW PRICES / KAMALA HIGH PRICES and ORANGE GUY SECURE BORDER / KAMALA OPEN BORDER, etc.

But what really served as the impetus to this post, is their car.  Not long after the events of 2020, I noticed that they had decals of the orange guy on their car; the ones that are of his profile, and placed on the windows, so it looks like he’s riding in the backseat of their car.  But the best part is that they apparently only have adhesive on one side, so although it looks normally placed on the passenger side, on the driver’s side, orange guys is rear-facing; much like the infant he acts like all the time, so it is kind of appropriate.

However, a few days ago, I noticed that there was some writing on their doors.  I was outside with my kids and I didn’t have my glasses on, so I couldn’t make out what the writing was, but either they had started a side gig of some sort and had some company name or information on their door, or they had to have some new orange guy-related message affixed to their car because why the fuck wouldn’t they do that.

Later in the day, I was picking up some food at Chick Fil-A, and as I was circling through the app-only lane AKA the greatest invention in the food service industry, I noticed a car in the non-app lane AKA the pleeb lane, that had on the door, the words “GARBAGE MOBILE.”  My brow scrunched in confusion at seeing this, like why the fuck would anyone want to call out their ride as being a garbage mobile?  Were they in the waste industry or something?  But then I glanced up and I saw the backward orange guy on the window, and my jaw kind of quarter opened at the realization at whose ride I was seeing.

Okay, so my thought process was that either some filthy libs had enough of seeing the orange guy mobile, and decided to vandalize them with a sticker calling their car  garbage mobile, or something had occurred in the political arena where orange guy was called a piece of garbage or something, to put focus on the word garbage in the first place, and this fanatic voluntarily put this sticker on their car, because their modus operandi since I’ve known of them has always been reactionary and petulant, and they’re not intelligent enough to realize that they are willingly calling themselves garbage.

Asking my friends, who follow news and politics more than I do, I learned that while on the campaign trail, apparently Joe Biden called orange guy, his supporters, or something under that dumb orange umbrella, trash, and there appears to be a contingent of his brainless disciples that seem to want to be voluntarily owning the terms, trash or garbage, and here we are, where extreme orange-ites are putting stickers on their cars calling themselves, garbage mobiles.

The point is, this is a household that strikes me as extremely, extremely weird, because their entire identity is absolutely nothing but their political beliefs.  Like, I’ve been the sports guy, the baseball guy, the wrestling guy, the blet guy, girl dad, and various other guys in my life.  At no point in my life, would I want my entire public facing identity being tied solely to politics much less any single iota.

And that being said, if I had the power and ability to kick them out of the neighborhood, evict them and get them the fuck out of here and replaced by a household of more sensibly existing human beings, I’d do it in a heartbeat.  And in all fairness, I’m not targeting them solely because they’re orange guy cultists; I would be just as eager and willing to eject out a household of left-wing extremists who were as obnoxious about their political identity and had absolutely no personality other than politics.

There’s just so much to the world that a higher importance than fucking politics, that anyone who can’t see that, and lets politics consume their entire existences, I don’t want them living near me.  Get the fuck out of my community, please and thank you

How does this manage to continue to happen?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

SI: New York Jets WR Malachi Corley drops ball before crossing into the end zone, negating touchdown into turnover

I don’t care enough to verify the details, but I’m fairly positive that between the NFL and CFB, this exact scenario has happened at least once every single year for like, the last decade or more, where a player with a guaranteed touchdown, boneheadedly drops the ball before crossing the plane of the endzone, negating six points and instead turning the ball over.

It never fails to astound, or fire me up whenever I hear about these instances, because I guess it pushes past my already extremely low standards as far as the intelligence of people are concerned, and I just can’t believe that there are people this dumb, that repeatedly keep squandering their privilege to be playing kids games at the highest levels and getting paid egregious amounts of money to do so.

It’s never not mindblowing to me, because throughout the history of the sport, all offensive skill players have always been like, GIMME THE BALL, but all of these clowns who have dropped the ball at the one-yard line couldn’t be in any more rush to get rid of the ball in their hands, to the point where they’re making these dumbass drops.

I just think about how in Forrest Gump, when Forrest was returning kicks for Alabama, his first TD return, he just kept running past the end zone, smashing into the band en route into the locker room tunnel.  A little overkill, but a definite example of protecting the ball and securing the score. 

Whenever a highlight of dropping the ball at the 1 occurs, I always wonder why players insist on being closer to DeSean Jackson instead of being closer to Forrest Gump.

There’s really not much more to add to this, aside from the continued disbelief that this somehow manages to happen at the frequency in which it does.  And while writing about it, YouTube delivers, as there’s actually a pretty interesting video that has chronicled this baffling phenomenon, and there’s a frighteningly more number of instances that have occurred than I was aware of, which doesn’t help the narrative of how bullshit stupid it is.