I really think there are actual squatters living in the foreclosed home two houses down from mine. They’re often outside, to the point where they’re putting benches underneath shady trees to get reprieve from the sun, and one of them is always on his laptop outside, like he’s leeching off of someone’s WiFi. The lights are never on inside the house, and the state of the plumbing is definitely questionable. More than a few times, I have jogged by the home, with the alarm system being audible, since they run on auxiliary power. I’m not exactly sure what protocol is with this kind of situation, calling the HOA is useless since Zombieland’s HOA is about as competent as a quadriplegic track star, so I’m actually thinking about calling the cops at some point. Is that even logical?
Tag: bataria
Downsides to living in Bataria
So, I’m off for the next two days as I’m between assignments right now. I’ve been fairly productive the last few days and over the weekend, doing all sorts of mundane household chores and cleaning up, since it’s been long overdue, to which I am quite pleased with. This morning, after I did my usual jog around Zombieland and my typical array of lifts, sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups, I decided that since it’s hot as a witch’s tit these days and I have the spare time, to go visit the neighborhood’s pool. It’s been a while, and the thought of taking a nice swim, to cool off and loosen up my muscles sounded like a great idea.
I get to the pool, and I arrive at the gate; I wave my keycard on the keypad to unlock the gate, when I realize that it’s not necessary; the gate is broken. Not broken in the sense that the keypad isn’t working, but broken in the sense that the keypad is there, the keypad is registering my keycard, but it’s completely unnecessary, because the magnetic block is pried back and bent away just enough to where contact between magnetic locks is now impossible. In other words, I’m paying association dues on broken equipment that clearly has gone ignored for quite some time due to the visible rust on the bolts, and the swimming pool is completely accessible to the entire world now.
And the entire world, or at least all of Bataria is capitalizing on this free pool concept. All around poolside were littered cups and cans, and a few cigarette butts. I found several squirt toys laying around poolside, and it’s very obvious that the HOA doesn’t send anyone to clean up around the place; but in all fairness, they shouldn’t have to, because the residents of Bataria really should know better, and that it’s really not that great of an idea to shit where you eat.
It’s not my responsibility, but I decided to make it my responsibility; at least for today. I picked up the cans and cups of garbage that were left behind, and placed them into the trash receptacle that has obviously been ignored for quite some time as well. And then I picked up the squirt guns and toys, and smashed them against the concrete, or snapped them in two across my knee before throwing them in the trash. Crazy motherfuckers out there, best to not leave your shit laying around, I guess.
So with my poolside now a little bit cleaner, and a little more civilized, I was able to enjoy my morning swim just a little bit more, but seriously, there are some real downsides to living in Bataria sometimes that just won’t ever be fixed.
You know something . . .
I am really not looking that forward to the next fourteen days, as sappy and pathetic that is going to make me sound.
Power’s out in ALL of Zombieland at the moment, and I’m more or less using my netbook to charge my phone to make sure the alarm goes off in the morning, and conveniently utilizing the internets access that comes along with it in order to post my lame emotional dribble. I’m actually quite surprised at myself, and not certain why I’m sharing it with the rest of the world but the bottom line is that I may need some cranberry juice in the morning.
Upset at nobody but myself
So far, I’ve been dinged with two overdraft fees, and worse case scenario is that I will get dinged for up to six more $35 penalties if I am truly unlucky. And the worst part is that there is nobody to blame for this debacle except myself, for being lazy. I had more than enough money to cover for the checks that cleared that put me in the red in checks, but I never bothered to deposit them into my account until it was too late. And that’s what makes this disappointment slightly worse, because it was completely preventable, and there is absolutely nobody to blame except for me, and there really are no excuses.
Here’s how my mind works. There is a branch that literally opened 4.2 miles from my house, which I thought was excellent due to the simplicity in where it is. Also in this shopping center is a Publix, and several dining options that I’m already sick of. However, there is one inherent flaw to this shopping center, and subsequent convenient bank that makes me avoid going there like the plague sometimes – the terrible logistics of entering and exiting the plaza. Entering is not so much the problem as it is to exit it, as the plaza as a whole is in dire need of some traffic lights to help regulate the situation. So many resort to some tire-smoking peelouts and illegal U-turns to deal with it, and at the two instances in which I most frequently pass the bank, it’s rush hour, and I don’t want to bother dealing with the irritation of leaving the plaza.
There is a branch across the street from where I’ve been freelancing the last two days. And I’ve actually taken the last two lunch breaks in the same plaza. My rationale for not going to this bank was the fact I was on foot, it was hot and humid, that there was no structured walkway to get to the lobby’s ATM, and I didn’t want to be one of those guys who walks through the drive-thru ATM, and being subject to the scrutiny of those in their Lexuses, BMWs and Mercedeses while I deposited my money. Instead, I went to the Willy’s in the plaza exclusively, and those two lunches very well could cost me $70 in overdraft fees due to my laziness.
This is my rationale for not covering my ass in the last few days from the bank closest to my house, and bank right next to where I took my lunches. Irritatingly, it would’ve been far more efficient at enduring the headache of driving or sweating in the heat than sitting here simmering with disgust at myself. To put the cherry on top, all this is occurring on the weekend, so I’m unable to get instant gratification by the end of the business day to see if my deposit has gone through, and kind of handcuffed at any further spending due to there not yet actually being any usable funds in my bank account at the moment.
It must be the weather . . .
…which by the way is absolutely gorgeous today. But really, it must be the weather, because I saw a few things that I didn’t think possible.
I was walking the dog after I got home from work, because with weather like this, I couldn’t not do something outside. So I’m around the Zombieland gazebo, and a car passes me, and pulls into the driveway, and emerging from the car is a white woman, whom obviously lives in that house, based on the way pulled in to the driveway like she owned the place. Confused, I still do not forget to smile and nod in acknowledgment, and continue walking.
Then all of a sudden, jogging right past me is a nubile, young white girl, and our eyes meet for a moment and I’m sure I had the same puzzled look on my face as she did, at the sudden realization that there are indeed other ethnicities in Zombieland.
It’s gotta be the weather.