Tag: holidays

Advent Beer #14: Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee by Schlossbrauerei Herrngiersdorf

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yup, copy/pasted that, because no way I’m retyping that much Deutsch.

As someone who definitely judges books by their covers, I have to say that this is probably the worst can design I’ve seen over the last two weeks.  I literally got up from writing to go look at the collection of cans that I’ve held onto in the event that I want to take one last parting picture, and yup confirmed, this is the worst, and most boring can design that I’ve come across during this journey.

Two logos, three different accent colors, a fuckton of boring text on white, it literally looks like the design of this can was created in Microsoft Word.

Here’s the thing though; this could be an overblown introduction judging the aesthetics of the can, and then turning it around to where I was blown away by the contents of said can, or the eye test can justify the importance of visuals, and the bier actually is as lame as the design of the can hints that it might be.

In the case of Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvée, which is a mouthful of a name that makes me think this beer thinks it’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man’s name to overwrite her own hence the hyphenated name, the design of the can is more indicative of the quality of the beer than a situation where I shouldn’t be judging books by their covers.

The initial taste is actually pretty decent; it’s light, a touch of hops that makes me wish ‘Murican brewers would stop going so overboard with the hops, so they can continuously make the hoppiest IPA in the country, and it’s got a fairly light and refreshing initial flavor.

But man, I don’t know how to describe the finish, there’s a long lingering aftertaste after the end of every sip that I’m finding rather unpleasant.  I don’t know if it would be considered malty, or what, but it’s that sewer-water flavor at the end that hangs on way too long, to where I found myself taking long pulls and larger gulps, just so I can finish this sooner rather than savor it to enjoy it.

Needless to say, the early flavor is the only thing that keeps this from being the bottom of the barrel for me, but that’s not really saying that much.  It’s definitely one of the lesser quality beers in the collection, but given the fact that this was a beer for a Monday, it seems appropriate that it’s kind of drab.

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  5. Perlenzauber (#9)
  6. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  7. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  8. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  9. Grandl (#11)
  10. Hell (#1)
  11. Tannen Hell (#8)
  12. Tradition (#10)
  13. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  14. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #13: Schwarze Tinte by Tölzer Mühlfeldbräu

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Can I just first say that I’m sick to death of these fucking southern winters where we have like a week of 20-30 degree weather, the heat is pumping, everyone is nice and cozy in their hoodies, sweaters and blankets, and I’m forced to drip faucets overnight, so my shit doesn’t freeze, but then days later we’re back up into the 60s, touching 70, and I’m forced to turn the air conditioning back on because my kid is waking up from being too hot.  Especially when I’m looking at the forecast of the upcoming week, and it’s supposed to plunge back down into the 30s in like two days.

It astounds me but it doesn’t how people actually believe climate change doesn’t exist and then it makes me think about Storm from the X-Men and how her character must be written these days, in the age of climate change and the earth itself fucking with her powers on a regular basis.  Makes me wonder if up in Westchester, Storm’s phone is always blowing up when people are getting pissed about the seasons not acting like the seasons they’re supposed to be, and trying to get Storm to fix it.

Anyway, it was just yesterday that I posed the question, does Deutschland even do stouts or porters, and then today’s can answering the question, immediately.  Schwarze Tinte, didn’t even have to add the “collab stout” for me to realize that this was probably going to be a stout, with a can design that looks like it was designed by Scott Hall, adorned in black with gooey drippy patterns on it, that I would have to imagine that this had to be a dark beer of some sort.

It pours out looking like a cola, and is a lot lighter bodied than I’d imagine from a stout, but the flavor hits just right where it’s stout-y but doesn’t have that hard coffee-like bitter note at the very end and instead phases out leaving my mouth feeling sweet, but not really syrupy.

Needless to say, this ranks in the upper third of my subjective rankings, and my knee-jerk reaction was to place it 3rd overall.  But compared with Turbo Prob, the Noble Pils clone that I was very enamored with, when push came to shove, and I was presented with both options to pick one, I still think I’d pick Turbo Prop over, since I feel like that was a beer that can really be had at any time of the year, where my personal preference for stouts and porters, are that they’re best in the fall and winter, but not nearly as desirable come warmer weather.

Then again, I’ve been in a t-shirt pretty much all day today, so it’s been pretty obnoxiously fucking warm for 12 days away from Christmas.

But it turns out Deutschland does do stouts, and to no shocker, they’re pretty good at those too.  Prost!

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  5. Perlenzauber (#9)
  6. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  7. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  8. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  9. Grandl (#11)
  10. Hell (#1)
  11. Tannen Hell (#8)
  12. Tradition (#10)
  13. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #12: Loncium Vienna Style Lager by Privatbrauerei Loncium

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

My first thought when I pulled this can out of the fridge was that this was definitely, had to be, a stout, porter or whatever dark beers there are out there. I mean the whole thing is as brown as a bar of chocolate with accents of other shades of brown on it. But then I’m examining the can and all the brown on brown and amidst all the words that can be made out is “Vienna style lager.”

A lager? This brown ass can? Then my thoughts wondered on if there were even porters, stouts or dark beers even available in Deutschland.

In spite of the completely misleading can design, out pours a rich amber bier that is completely unexpected based on the way the can looks. Clearly, German aesthetics play by a completely different set of rules and fuck you for being presumptuous.

As stated, it’s a lager, Vienna style. And I realize that I don’t have a tremendous amount of experience with Viennese bier, despite the fact that I’ve been there before. It was Christmas time when mythical then-gf and I visited Wien, so we actually drank more mulled wine from boot-shaped mugs than anything else, but I do remember that we had some beer at a really really good schnitzel restaurant we went to, but it didn’t really stand out too much.

Either way, this beer by some private brewery named Loncium, is very good. It’s not too bitter, it’s smooth and not too light but not too heavy either. It goes down smooth, and despite my fairly basic description of it, it’s just that, fairly basic, but it’s done so well that I feel no hesitation at ranking it in the upper half of my subjective novice rankings.

Looking at more information about this beer, it appears that the company doesn’t even produce this beer anymore, which is a shame, because it’s really quite good. Whenever I go to a place like Total Wine or one of those booze Walmarts that has a ton of foreign beers, I’d actually feel inclined to look for this if I were in the mood for snooty foreign beer.

Regardless, we’re halfway through the calendar, and I still don’t feel burnt out by this nightly writing, nor do I feel the need to cop out or cheat (yet). With 12 more days left, let’s hope I can continue on with this, and I can honestly say that almost all of these beers were good in their own ways, with me enjoying nearly all of them, except maybe the last 2-3.

Current Rankings:
1. First Coral (#2)
2. Kirta (#5)
3. Turbo Prop (#6)
4. Perlenzauber (#9)
5. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
6. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
7. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
8. Grandl (#11)
9. Hell (#1)
10. Tannen Hell (#8)
11. Tradition (#10)
12. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #11: Grandl by Ankerbräu Nördlingen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Eleven days in, I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I don’t really know much about beer, and that I most certainly judge books by their covers.  That said, I had optimistic hopes for tonight’s beer as I’ve been not having the greatest time with job these days and drinking on Fridays always seems like a good idea after a long week of work, and I was wondering if whomever put together this advent calendar had the wherewithal to put some quality beers on the Fridays of the calendar, because it’s not like they wouldn’t be able to look at a calendar to know when they are.

So when I pulled Grandl out of the fridge, I was pleased to see a fairly traditional, nondescript beer can design that reminded me of a throwback style like a Miller High Life can or like the Milwaukee Brewers typeface, which are kind of the same things considering Miller’s influence with the Brew Crew.

But anyway it’s almost like this can was a metaphor for the beer itself, because out of the can came a clean, golden lager with not a lot of aroma.  The first sips were positive, but not really blown away; everything about this beer seemed pretty no-nonsense, nothing special, but at the same time not at all bad, and very drinkable.

The fact that BeerAdvocate lists this as simply “lager” and not like “festlager” or “alleybier” or “kellerbrau” or some other weird classification I’d never heard of until embarking on this journey, brings everything back to earth for something simple, basic, yet perfectly adequate.

Sure, it’s not bursting with flavor like Turbo Prop (#6) or has the explosive characteristics of a good dunkel like Kirta (#5), but it’s still a classic, smooth beer that goes down smooth, doesn’t overstimulate my novice pallet, and is something I know I could drink 2-3 of without breaking a sweat.

Either way, I’m gassed.  I found myself already beginning to fall asleep at 8:45, while trying to watch Scrooge virtually with some friends, but such shouldn’t be a surprise considering I’m raising an infant that’s up by 6:30 every morning.  And I thought I was all ahead of the curve by knocking out all of my daily chores and running earlier in the day that I’d be able to have a ton of time to myself to wind down the evening, but now all I want to do is go to bed before 11 pm and actually feel like I can get some sleep, so this review is about as long as most of the other beer reviews but is in fact full of fluff and talking about how I’m wrapping this up but overall, Grandl was solid, refreshing, and it’s general position in the rankings don’t do it justice as much as it shows where it stands to other beers with stronger gimmicks and more memorability.

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Perlenzauber (#9)
  5. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  6. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  7. Grandl (#11)
  8. Hell (#1)
  9. Tannen Hell (#8)
  10. Tradition (#10)
  11. Käuzle (#3)

 

Advent Beer #10: Tradition by Herrnbräu

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Ten days in, two weeks left until Christmas, and that many more beers to go.  So far, so good.  I’m at that point in my Christmas shopping where I’ve gotten almost my entire list taken care of, but now I’m where I feel like I haven’t gotten enough for some people, and am kind of scrambling on trying to think of more things to get without breaking my back or my wallet.

I also want to go out to some stores, but I hardly have time because of baby and pandemic, so I have to show some restraint.  Besides, if I go to some stores, they’re likely to be full of people who don’t seem to grasp that we’re still in the middle of a pandemic, but then again I’m also wanting to go out and get some fairly frivolous things myself.

Speaking of pandemic, you’d think the world were completely normal, based on how many fucking people were outside my home today.  Surveyors from the county were in my neighborhood, my next door neighbor had landscapers tending to their neglected property for like two fucking hours, and then I had UPS, FedEx and the always last USPS coming and going all throughout the day, and whenever they’re near my house, my fucking dog loses her shit, and this especially sucks when my child is down for her second nap of the day.

Why the fuck aren’t people staying the fuck inside??

I digress, because at this point it’s pointless to even speculate, despite the fact that everyone already knows the answer to such redundant questions: because America sucks, and it makes me sad to acknowledge that, but it couldn’t possibly be any truer to state.

SO, I result in drinking in the evenings, not just because I have a goal in mind, working my way through 24 days of this advent calendar of beer, but because on days like today, it just seems appropriate to wind down the day with a nice cold one.

Unfortunately, Tradition by Herrnbräu, is about as forgettable as they come.  Classified as yet another new category, festbier, it makes me think it’s supposedly supposed to mean “festival beer” in which I guess it’s not an inaccurate description of Tradition, because it is the kind of light-bodied, sort of short on flavor swill that would be made in huge batches to be enjoyed at festivals, but when the day is over, really is kind of forgettable.

It tastes like a generic lager with a slightly metallic taste at the very end that I find a little off-putting, but because it’s so light-bodied and not that over-flavored, it’s easy to drink in heavy pulls, and finish fairly quickly and set myself up for a refill.  This is an easy bier to get buzzed on as a result, and I drank mine fairly quickly because I started later than I normally like, and that it was easy to drink.

Anyway, I do not rate it very high because it’s pretty forgettable in the grand spectrum of the beers that I’ve drank so far, and I’m hoping as the weekend approaches, there are some really good ones in the cache, and I would really tip my cap off to Costco or whomever put this together, if they actually paid attention to the calendar when establishing the lineup for this advent calendar.

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Perlenzauber (#9)
  5. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  6. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  7. Hell (#1)
  8. Tannen Hell (#8)
  9. Tradition (#10)
  10. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #9: Perlenzauber by Privatbrauerei

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I first pulled the can out of the fridge, I immediately noticed the design of what appeared to be a woman looking in through a porthole, presumably underwater. My first thought was mermaid, but the rest of the can subtly looks like a barrel, and now it’s kind of fucked up, because a woman is trapped inside of a barrel that just so also happens to have a porthole.

Either way, it’s an eye-catching design, and as someone who judges books by their covers, it’s admittedly one that would make stop and examine if I were to come across this kind of can or bottle in a store.

As for the beer itself, I had a moment of pause when I saw that it was classified as “German Pale Ale,” because like I’ve said numerous times, I don’t know that much about the world of beer outside of drinking what I like to drink, so I see German pale ale and am really hoping that it’s nothing like an India pale ale, because if there’s one thing for sure is that I’m not really a fan of IPAs at all because they’re basically piss, so I’m hoping that a GPA is nothing like them.

Fortunately, after pouring it into a glass and taking the first sip, it’s definitely nowhere near the flavor or profile of an IPA. Honestly, I would’ve imagined that this was a lager if I didn’t look it up on BeerAdvocate for the proper name and source, and reading some of the cursory comments, I’m clearly not the only one.

Not sure if this is common for other German pale ales, but I certainly like them way better than IPAs.

Overall, nine days in, woman in barrel bier fares well. It definitely lives on the upper half of my now-rankings, and it’s got a pretty non-descript but light taste and body that was easy to drink, and I could easily envision myself drinking a couple of these if I were in an evening of drinking.

I guess it also doesn’t hurt that I had a particularly shitty work day, having been in meetings for six of the eight hours in my work day, some of them a little more invasive than others. But really that’s where drinking really steps up into the routines of life.

Current Rankings:
1. First Coral (#2)
2. Kirta (#5)
3. Turbo Prop (#6)
4. Perlenzauber (#9)
5. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
6. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
7. Hell (#1)
8. Tannen Hell (#8)
9. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #8: Tannen Hell by Hohenthanner Schlossbrauerei

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I didn’t start drinking until I was 24.  I was admittedly one of those snooty 21-year olds with a stick up my butt that felt that he didn’t really need to drink at all in order to have a good time in life.  Eventually there were some changes in my life, and my sister was one of the people who really told me that I needed to loosen up and simply figure out how to have fun.  And among the changes I tried to make with my life then was that I figured that I should remove the stick out of my butt about drinking and just give it a shot.

So for the next few years I was making up for a lot of lost time, and I was basically trying everything.  Pretty early on, I realized that hard shit wasn’t really for me, wine was only on special occasions, and that when the day was over, beer was probably my jam.  And one of the things I learned early on, was that Asian beers, were pretty tame in terms of ABV, flavor, and other criteria that are popularly utilized to measure a beer.

Well, Tannen Hell, in spite of being a German bier, is basically an Asian beer.  My eyebrow furrowed after I popped the can, gave it a sniff, and poured it into my glass, and it was as bright and clear as lemonade.  Immediately, I began to hypothesize that this was going to be a fairly weak flavor, and it was confirmed seconds later with the first sip.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t terrible.  According to the snobs at BeerAdvocate, it’s classified as a lager, but this is an instance where I’d wonder if there’s some sort of subclass that this could be categorized in instead, because I’ve had my share of lagers, and few of them have been as light-bodied and as tame tasting as this one was.

It almost had like a cherry, fruity note somewhere in the flavoring, but that was about as much flavor as this beer had.  As I said, it was kind of bland, very light, and in spite of the 4.9% ABV, this is one of those times where I call bullshit because it’s almost like the closest thing to a Miller Lite I feel like I’ve had from a brand outside of ‘Murica.

Don’t really have much else to say about this one, and the fact that I’m itching to wrap this up because I have some 90 Day Fiancé to catch up on says everything that really needs to be said about Tannen Hell.  It’s not the worst of the bunch, but barely.

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  5. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  6. Hell (#1)
  7. Tannen Hell (#8)
  8. Käuzle (#3)