lol MARTA #188

Short story shorter: MARTA bus caught on video being completely engulfed in flames on the shoulder of I-85.  Nobody was hurt.

I don’t know why this amuses me so much.  I mean, I also had great amusement in all the chronicled stories of New York’s Fung Wah buses spontaneously combusting or being engulfed in flames in their own right, too.  I guess there’s something inherently entertaining to me about entities known for incompetence actually showing extreme displays of incompetence, like somehow managing to catch their vessels completely engulfed in flames on the highways.

Either way, I’m admittedly a little surprised when I probably shouldn’t be, that MARTA has devolved to a point of failure seemingly only capable of being reached by a hack-job racket like Fung Wah.  I mean, MARTA, for better or worse, is Atlanta’s equivalent to METRO, the T, the L, SEPTA and MTA; it’s a city-wide transport system meant to get people from point A to point B, somewhat reliably, if not always necessarily comfortably.  But then to go and act like a shady counterfeit transit authority like Fung Wah and catch your buses on fire?

How embarrassing.  gg, MARTA.

Oh, Georgia vol. 77

Part of my morning routine is reading the local news.  Yeah, I know the world is full of enthralling stories on a daily basis, but the AM hours are a time in which the days are young, so why should I expand the wings so early in the morn, when there’s still so much time ahead of me?  Needless to say however, the local news is sometimes all that I need in order to find an impetus to write something.

And in days like today, sometimes I get a couple of things that catch my fancy, that aren’t necessarily enough to justify warranting an entire wall of text, but combined, make for a hearty post nonetheless.

Another day, another MARTA fight recorded – you know how people believe that as people grow up, they tend to leave certain behaviors behind, like judging people irrationally based on nothing more than physical differences?  Yeah, not so much in this particular case.

Continue reading “Oh, Georgia vol. 77”

lol MARTA #156

One of these days, I really should actually keep count of how many times I make a post based on the ironically humorous failings of MARTA, and have an accurate number, but for the time being 156 seems like an accurate enough number of the times that I’ve found humor at the expense of MARTA.

Long story short: MARTA Police has decided to look outside of the city and outside of the state to recruit. They have decided to visit Detroit, Fort Lee and possibly Puerto Rico. MARTA Police cites that they have very stringent requirements that they are looking for as justification for external candidate search.

Continue reading “lol MARTA #156”

I knew the story was going to be good when I saw “MARTA”

Long story short: Man escapes from a prisoner transport bus, two hours later is caught at a MARTA station.

I’m having a hard time deciding between whether if the prisoner was made dumber by being in the proximity of a MARTA station, or if MARTA is like a beacon of stupidity that draws its own kind like moths to lights.  Either way, while perusing through the AJC’s website, when I saw the word “MARTA” in the headline, I knew it was going to be an instant classic.

Continue reading “I knew the story was going to be good when I saw “MARTA””

Thoughts while riding MARTA

Since riding MARTA is such a life-sucking sometimes-necessity, I feel like I should write so I don’t lose my mind. For whatever reason, I’ve got a lot of thoughts swirling through my head, so I figured what the hell, write and pass the time.

I used to work with this queen and among the absurd things he told me one thing stuck – how to spot a fake Louis Vuitton. A true Louis Vuitton will never allow the LV logo mark to ever be cut off by a seam, edge or crease.

Today, I experienced possibly the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. If we can’t laugh at ourselves sometimes we are truly humorless, so without getting into too much detail, I’ll just say that there is a mark, thankfully no blood, but it took every restraint in my body to not keep over and lie on the ground and writhe in pain. I was also pretty close to actually crying, it hurt so bad.

I’m pretty sure the impetus for many popular mashup songs comes from people riding trains and hearing at least four “songs” going on at the same time from people deliberately not wearing their headphones correctly so everyone can hear their crappy “music.”

Every time I ride MARTA, I feel like I’m always a hop skip and a jump away from witnessing a World Star Hip Hop video from happening.

MARTA really is the stuff of nightmares

Typically, I don’t remember my dreams.  They’ve usually dissipated from my mind by the time I’m at the stage of my morning routine where I’m brushing my teeth, and I’m able to go on with my day as if they never happened.  So suffice to say, it’s somewhat notable (read: something to write about on a slow day) when I actually do manage to remember any of them.

Ironically, given my propensity to take shots at Atlanta’s public transit system, MARTA, it’s kind of fitting that for whatever horrendous reason it may be in my unconscious, I’ve had some recent negatively-connoted dreams where MARTA references were present.  In a way, it’s kind of funny, but at the same time I’d rather frankly not have MARTA on the mind when I’m sleeping; I’d rather be dreaming of like Taylor Swift or Karlie Kloss (or both).

But for the sake of the possibility of entertaining, and since I don’t often remember my dreams too often anyway, I figured I’d write about them.  Thinking back to them, they are kind of funny in sadistic or ironic ways.

Continue reading “MARTA really is the stuff of nightmares”

Oh Atlanta

I’m fairly certain that this isn’t the first time I’ve used this headline before. I’m too lazy to cross-check though, but the context is probably the same – shame. There’s also a high probability that if I have used it before, it too was probably related to one of Atlanta’s biggest embarrassments: MARTA.

Long story short: Due to the overwhelming problem of people urinating in MARTA elevators, MARTA will be wasting even more money to install “Urine Detection Devices” (UDDs) to attempt to deter people from peeing in the elevators.

Obviously, MARTA is one gigantic joke to the world, especially those of us that live in Atlanta, but honestly, I had no idea that this was even an issue. Being physically capable of using my legs, I have always utilized the stairs or the escalators, and I can honestly say that I’ve never once been inside of a MARTA elevator. But apparently, it’s among the worst experiences on the planet due to the fact that people have a tendency to use them as public urinals.

Thank goodness for physical competence.

Continue reading “Oh Atlanta”