Tag: blets

Wrestle Kingdom 17 and the greatest dunk in history

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Despite my criticism of the ugliest blet in the industry and my oft-criticisms of Kenny Omega, I still thought that the card for NJPW’s Wrestle Kingdom 17 looked completely stacked, and if not for the whole eastern hemisphere timezone thing, I most definitely would have loved to have seen the show live.  I’m still interested in watching it after the fact, but only time will tell on if I can even find out how to watch it, much less actually have the available time in order to.

So like most wrestling on the other side of the world, I’m left with written results and YouTube clips to piece together how things went.  For the most part, as stacked as the show was, professional wrestling is still professional wrestling, and for the names and narratives that I was aware of going into the event, few things were really any surprises as far as the results went.

All jokes aside, Zack Sabre, Jr. winning the ugliest blet in the industry NJPW Television Championship seemed like a layup of a prediction, as did Kairi retaining the IWPG Women’s Championship.  FTR is clearly wrapping up the blet collector gimmick and were obviously dropping the IWGP Tag Team championships, presumably so that Cash Wheeler can actually heal up from whatever has been hampering him over the last six months.  And it was very obvious that Karl Anderson was going to drop the NEVER championship to Tama Tonga, considering he’s a contracted WWE talent, clearly loaned to the event solely to exchange the strap.

Kazuchika Okada winning the IWGP World Championship was also fairly predictable in my opinion, because NJPW’s formula seems to be, when in doubt, Okada, because he’s basically their Hulk Hogan, and will always draw no matter what, regardless of the fact that I think they could’ve gotten some more mileage out of Jay White being the guy.

The only real surprises of the night were, when Sasha Banks was going to show up, and the fact that Kenny Omega defeated Will Ospreay for the IWGP US Championship.  Obviously, Sasha, now going under Mercedes Mone showed up in the aftermath of Kairi’s match, because why wouldn’t she be immediately thrust into the World title picture?  But I’ve got lots of thoughts and words about Sasha Mercedes that I’ll get to in a separate post, but the rest of this one is basically going to be about Ospreay and Omega.

Firstly, I didn’t think there was chance that Omega was going to go over Ospreay, considering the fact that Omega is contractually obligated to another company, regardless of the positive working relationship between AEW and NJPW.  For the second time now, the IWGP US championship will be taken back to the United States, where it will get more screen time on another promotion’s television time than its own, and it may as well be rechristened the AEW US championship [which they can maybe exchange for the IWGP All-Atlantic Championship which gets equally no domestic television screen timeWill Ospreay is also one of NJPW’s top guys, but he’s still not necessarily a household name to the global audience, and a rub from Kenny Omega would definitely have helped him out tremendously.  Now the loss could very well be a promotion disguised as a demotion, and Ospreay could be positioned for a World title storyline, but considering the post-match press conference, it looks more like a potential character reset is impending, seeing as how he’s now lost the IWGP US and the RevPro championship over the span of the last four months.

But speaking of the post-match press conference, what happened during it is what spawned this entire post coming to fruition.  And as much as I’ve blathered tons of words questioning Kenny Omega the performer, I will have to give credit to him for delivering possibly the greatest verbal dunking on an adversary in the history of the business:

Don Callis: Will Ospreay, you wanted to be Michael Jordan, you wanted to be the man, you wanted to be the GOAT.

Kenny Omega (mumbling): you’ll have to settle for being scottie pippen

DC: Tonight, you’re Scottie Pippen.  That’s what you are, right now.

I legitimately had one of those OHHHHHHHHH moments when I heard that line.  Followed by raucous laughter, and replaying the quip about 15 times.  And then another 15 times with the volume cranked up so that I could actually make out Kenny Omega’s precise words so that I could meme-ify caption the above image to immortalize it and hope it shows up in Google images when people search for “Ospreay Omega Wrestle Kingdom.”

I just don’t think anyone other than me understands just how insulting it is to be called Scottie Pippen.  It’s not just being called a metaphor for being a #2 guy.  A silver medalist.  B+ performer.  It’s not entirely accurate to compare it to being called a Robin to Batman or a Luigi to Mario.  Those are guys that are content and know their role as being sidekicks, second-in-commands.

Scottie Pippen is a guy who believed in his heart that he was on the same level as Michael Jordan.  He thought he didn’t need MJ to win a championship, and on multiple instances, had his chance, and failed.  He’s the living totem of being supremely talented, but not THE man, not QB1, not the first pick in the draft.  He’s just Scottie Pippen, the guy that’s not the best, not the GOAT, and the guy that falls short when it really matters the most.

I’ve said a lot of things about how I don’t think Kenny Omega isn’t as complete of a package as he and the rest of the internet might think.  I think his in-ring work is amazing, but still has some struggles connecting to American audiences.   I think his mic work is average at best, and there’s a reason why he is paired with Don Callis, so he can do the heavy lifting in promos for him.  I still don’t think his heart will ever truly be with AEW in spite of being one of the foundation blocks of the company.

But as far as delivering an atom bomb of a strike in a promo goes, short of the instances where people have crossed lines in digging into the personal, real-lives of their opponents, I don’t think anyone has ever dropped such a devastating, legendary dunking-on, than Kenny Omega did to Will Ospreay at Wrestle Kingdom 17.  I’m hard pressed to believe anyone ever will surpass it, unless they make a better, harder comparison to Scottie Pippen.

NJPW Television Championship blet: WTHF

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

While I was chatting wrestling with my bros, I thought about how New Japan’s upcoming Wrestle Kingdom, which is the equivalent to their Wrestlemania, was looking like a really stacked show, and if not for the fact that it started at 3AM the following day for us in the west, I would totally be interested in watching it.  Just the two matches between Kenny Omega vs. Will Osperay and Jay White vs. Kazuchika Okada are enough to sell the entire show, but really NJPW doesn’t ever have a bad Wrestle Kingdom, top to bottom.

Looking at the rest of the card, most of the other matches seem very appealing, even if it does contain the further stripping of titles off of FTR who will undoubtedly lose the IWGP titles in the triple threat match they’re in, and seeing the new IWGP Women’s champ Kairi (Sane) on the card seems as good as place as any for the rampant news that Sasha Banks will be appearing, to come to fruition.

But the one match that caught my attention immediately, and one that I had no idea was even developing was the finals of a tournament . . . for a brand new championship, the NJPW Television Championship.Obviously this means that there’s a new blet, and when there’s blets, there’s me, hoping it’s awesome so that I could hope to get a replica for my collection, but at the same time hoping it sucks, so that I won’t be tempted to plop down $300-400 I don’t have for something that’s useless and I don’t really need.

Well the good(bad) news is that the design of the blet is this gigantic ball of what the fuck, as in this is the worst fucking designed blet since the days of the NWA territories, and their blets were basically made out of scrap aluminum and Peg Bundy’s pants.

Seriously, I haven’t had a blet boner go flacid so quickly since the old Ring of Honor TV blet whose plates were so vertically long that it couldn’t not be a literal cockblock.  The NJPW TV blet does absolutely nothing for me except say what the fuck, every time I look at it, because nothing about it makes any god damn sense.

Firstly, it’s completely boring and uninspiring, with the shapes of the plates being some fucking rectangles.  The baby shit brown color of the strap with the weird gold piping trim don’t do it any favors, and I just don’t get why all promotions seems so determined to steer away from traditional, classic black straps.

But then the designs of the plates themselves, are nothing but eye-scrunching puzzling.  For starters, it’s deviating from the norm and is not being classified as an IWGP championship; for the matter it’s not really being classified as just an NJPW championship but an NJPWWorld.com title.  As in it is a championship belt that represents a website and nothing else.

And despite the fact that they’re calling it the NJPW Television championship, the word “television” doesn’t appear anywhere on the strap itself, but don’t worry the URL NJPWWorld.com is on it five fucking times, so that anyone who sees the blet who misses it the first four times might still see the address on the fifth spot on the left side plate.

The only thing that gives any hint that it’s for television is on the side plates, which basically has a clipart of an early 2000’s monitor with a gigantic PLAY button on it next to the NJPW lion crest, naturally accompanied by one of the five NJPWWorld.com URLs, so I guess it sort of represents digital media.

I know IMPACT! gets a lot of flack being the spiritual successor to TNA, but at least they have the wherewithal to name their blet the “Digital Media (world) championship,” have the name of it on it, and have a blet that doesn’t look like shit.  For all the weeb-y praise and credit NJPW gets, in this regard, they just got dunked on, hard, by fucking IMPACT! of all other promotions.

Finally, the last criticism I have for this turd blet is the silhouette behind the primary NJPW World wordmark on the center plate.  I have no idea what that is supposed to be.  Usually, blets like to have silhouettes of continents or countries, to signify the regions they’re supposed to represent, but I can’t really make out what’s in the background of this one.  Despite being for a Japanese website, the silhouette kind of looks like North America if global warming raised the sea levels, sunk most of Mexico and western Canada and thinned Florida out.  Or maybe it’s eastern Asia despite the fact that NJPW doesn’t operate in any of those countries.  But all the same, I think the heat can get off of the NXT UK Tag blets for not actually having the UK visible on their plates, because at least some recognizable country is comprehensible.

The bottom line is that the NJPWWorld.com YouTube Championship blet looks like garbage.  If I’m Zack Sabre, Jr., I’m pleading with whomever has the book in New Japan to not have me win the championship, because it would be a colossal embarrassment to be seen having to carry around a shitty looking title as such.  It would undoubtedly be better to be a non-champion than have to carry around a clown championship, and if there’s one thing the WWE and WCW has taught wrestling fans throughout the years, there very much are championships that sandbag careers than benefit them.

The NJPWWorld.com Digital Streaming NJPWWorld.com Championship definitely, definitely is one of them.  What the holy fuck indeed.  There’s absolutely no desire for me to track down a Pakistani bootleg replica of this, even if Rusev/Miro were to set Tony Khan on fire and burn AEW to the ground and make the jump to New Japan that I foretold years ago and won this piece of shit en route to fulfilling his destiny as IWGP World champion.

AEW got to be out of their damn mind

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Much to both my chagrin and dismay, the WWE is basically out of blets that I could possibly want.  For the time being, there are no blets left for them to release, because at this point, just about every single WWE blet in history has been released at some point. 

They could start digging, and begin releasing older WCW and ECW or even AWA and territorial replicas like Jim Crockett or Smoky Mountain.  But instead, they’re making all these gaudy tribute blets as well as for some reason releasing WWE championships with side plates of SEC schools.

Hopefully when they inevitably launch NXT Europe, the inevitable blets will be baller.  Or not, I don’t need any more temptations to suck my spare money, $300-400 at a time.

Because that’s the general price range, if not lower, of what replica wrestling blets should cost.  $599 for one, or the bargain price of $999 for two AEW tag team replica blets??

As the kids these days like to say, the fuck outta here

The thing is, the tag blets are the one AEW championship I like the most.  Aesthetically, as well as fandom wise.  AEW does have outstanding tag team wrestling, and these titles hold more weight in my opinion than any other championship they have currently, and if they weren’t $600, I’d definitely want one. 

I don’t know how AEW can justify having such egregiously priced replicas in the first place, and I’m curious to know how many other blet collectors have any.  Their world title replica is around $800 and I know they released a TNT replica that was also in the $600-700 range.  If I played my cards right, I could probably get three, maybe four WWE replicas, and if I didn’t care about quality, I could probably get like 8-9 Pakistani bootlegs on eBay, including all of the AEW ones.

I know they don’t use the same blet makers as WWE or old Ring of Honor did, and use someone completely different.  I don’t know if they’re not mass producing them overseas like most other replicas not New Japan are, but the bottom line is that it’s causing AEW to have to price them way too fucking high that even the most hardcore of collectors like me don’t want to pay. 

Inevitably, I will eventually want some AEW blet(s), because it doesn’t take a whole lot to inspire me to want a blet.  I’m going to kid myself; as much as I criticize AEW, I do want them to do well, it’s just I think TK is kind of an obnoxious mark, as well as all of the vast majority of their fans.  But with the price point they’re at, it most definitely isn’t going to be any time soon.

Kairi, and the long overdue IWGP Women’s Championship

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I heard the news that KAIRI (FKA. Sane) had become the first-ever IWGP Women’s Champion, I was both pleased and disappointed.

I liked Kairi Sane when she was a part of the WWE; she really captured the imaginations of those who watched her rise in NXT through the Mae Young Classic (which they really should consider doing again), and I enjoyed her development into the main roster where she formed an entertaining team with Asuka.  She could work and had charisma, and I was disappointed when it was revealed that she did not re-sign with the WWE, but understandable given the circumstances of her wanting to go back to Japan.

Needless to say, I’m happy for her that she’s the inaugural IWGP Women’s Champion because I always liked KAIRI, and I think she deserves it.

However, at the same time, I’m perplexed and mostly disappointed in the fact that in 2022, is when New Japan Pro Wrestling had finally decided to create an IWGP Women’s Championship.

Sure, NJPW never really had a women’s division at all, often outsourcing their need for women talent mostly to Stardom, but as the rest of the world continued turning, NJPW remained in the Bronze Age as far as gender equality went.  Which is doubly ironic, because Japan is home to such a deep well of female talent, both Japanese and foreigner alike, with most of the latter ex-pats coming to Japan on their own fruition as it’s known to be such a robust scene to grow as performers.

For as much of the weebs of the world think that Japan is this magical culture that can do no wrong, the fact that there’s never been an IWGP Women’s Championship until now is just a little microcosm of where they as a culture truly are behind the times.  And it’s not even just about wrestling, it’s the simple fact that as culture, Japan is still extremely misogynistic.  Sure, they’re no draconian Sharia law country, but they’re still a hundred years behind the United States, and we frankly are mediocre at just about everything.

Either way, I’m pleased with KAIRI becoming a champion once again, but it really is kind of pathetic that it’s taken this long for NJPW to even have something of a women’s championship in the first place.

WTF is AEW doing #169

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

He’s got a point you know: Dax Harwood, one half of the current ROH, AAA and IWGP tag team champions, FTR, gets on a mic (at a NJPW show) and reminds AEW owner Tony Khan that they still work for him, and that they should be booked, brother

The takeaway I get from this story is that Tony Khan literally has no ability to book a wrestler beyond the thrill of the chase.  FTR is one of numerous examples in AEW’s short history, where talent is in pursuit of some form of greatness, be it a feud, one championship, or multiple championships, and eventually they achieve it, but then absolutely dick or butt happens with them after the payoff, and it’s a matter of time before they’re basically on Dark: Elevation, or like in the case of FTR, forced to rely on other promotions to actually get any screen time.

If the way Tony Khan books AEW is any indication, any person who has the courage to become involved with TK, I feel bad for them, because he will undoubtedly wine and dine, woo and pursue for a year, and have probably the biggest rager of a wedding ceremony there possibly could be – but then he will absolutely and completely forget about his spouse in a week. 

Hangman Adam Page’s pursuit of the AEW world championship was a fantastic ride, but once he actually made it to the top of the mountain and dethroned Kenny Omega, TK literally had no idea on the planet what to do with him, eventually feeding him to CM Punk, unceremoniously at that.  Wardlow’s journey to be freed from under MJF’s employ was one that was pretty decent and allowed Wardlow to really show his in-ring talents, but after he squashed MJF, TK has no idea what to do with him either, other than having him squash Scorpio Sky and taking the TNT title from him, barely after he had won it, and now Wardlow is completely directionless, picking random fights of the week, solely because he has the network blet.

The All-Atlantic championship had more qualifying and tournament matches to crown its first holder, than the title has actually had television time with PAC, whose duties are split, because he’s also a third of the Trios champions, whom hasn’t seemed to have had any screen time in their own right since winning the supposedly coveted championship.

I mean, with 15-17 championships currently circulating within the company and only three hours of network television time a week, it’s no surprise that they’re having a hard time getting all these supposed commodities some screen time, but at this point it’s more humorous than anything at how goofy the booking of AEW is, in spite of all of the actual talent they really do have on their roster of like 150.

And it really doesn’t matter how good or accomplished the talent is; Hangman was a world champion and FTR literally is holding three tag team championships at the same time.  Once TK has booked the thrill of the chase narrative out of a guy(s), he simply has no idea what to do once it’s over, and unfortunately the default reaction appears to be neglect. 

At least let FTR win the AEW tag blets again, and be quadruple champions before they’re eventually booked to start dropping the titles back to their respective home promotions, because it would be pretty baller to see two guys lugging around eight blets.

Dad Brog (#098): Goodbye office, hello au pair

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The blets are all down and in storage, my personal effects are all gone, and the only things left are my giant Jinx wall mural, and the hanging bar full of running medals, because they’re out of the way enough to where I don’t feel bad leaving them up.  But for all intents and purposes my office is no longer my office, and is back to being a bedroom, ready for a new resident to my household who will be arriving in short order. 

Mythical wife and I are long past the point of exasperation when it comes to childcare, and we’ve decided to embark down the route of getting an au pair, which is a fancy way of saying we’re bringing in a person from another country to come live in my home, and be a live-in nanny to my children. 

The hopes are that with a nanny as a resident, it will bring a semblance of stability to my house; reliable, consistent care, and with them living with us, the hope is it will greatly reduce the possibility of fake sick days, COVID exposures, and the litany of other bullshit that seemed to plague my home through the parade of temps and babysitters we’ve relied on throughout the rest of this year.

I genuinely can’t express in words the sheer exasperation I’ve had with all the babysitters I’ve had to endure over the last year.  All the bullshit sick days called in where I’m the one who has to eat the sick day from my own job.  All the regular tardiness from them where they were always 3-10 minutes late every single fucking day, where those small amounts of time are the difference between being prepared for an early meeting, or needing to log into a meeting with a crying baby in tow, praying that I’m not called upon to unmute my mic.  All the clock-watching when it came to the end of the days, to where they’d leave on the dot, and I’m on double duty while on the clock at work until mythical wife gets home.

I’m sick of feeling like a liability at work, and questioning my job security, and really hoping that nobody’s taking notes or building a dossier on my occasional work flakiness on account of putting my kids first.  I’m sick of feeling like I’m wasting money when I have to pay shitty babysitters who grew complacent and fell into routines and lazy habits.  I’m just sick of unreliable help.

Of course, mythical wife and I are more than prepared to welcome our au pair with open arms and hope to embrace them as a legitimate member of our household, and we’re really hoping that by giving a shit about them will make them want to give a shit about us, more importantly the kids, and that we’ll have a mutually beneficial year of reliable childcare while they get to explore a slice of life in America, as polarizing of a place we are these days.

But this also means that I’ve had to forfeit my office, as all the other bedrooms in the house are occupied by the kids, and that was honestly one of the things that gave me pause about heading in this direction in the first place.  I loved my office, I loved my wall of blets, and I loved having a personal space for all of my shit that I geek out and obsess over, even if nobody else gives two shits about wrestling, running or any of the rando pieces of art and figures I had on my walls.

However, I love my kids more, and frankly it goes without saying that a large part of parenting is sacrificing things for the sake of our kids.  So add my office to the list with hobbies, disposable income, freedom to bullshit and just time in general, and I’m hoping the au pair experience will go so well that I’ll have zero chance to have any regrets about it.

It’s funny, because while I was on the fence about going the route of an au pair, when my last full-time nanny’s personal drama bomb went off, and she used it as reason why she couldn’t come in to work, I remember my wife showing me her phone with the wall of text, and two seconds after reading it, I was just like, fuck this, let’s get an au pair.  I don’t need my office so much as I just need some fucking reliable childcare, and it just doesn’t seem like we’re going to find any viable options in our area, much less this country full of lazy and entitled people who have some babysitting experience, looking to cash in on a hard caregiver’s market.

But all the same; vaya con dios to my office, as it’s going to be a long time before you will be mine once again, and I will have my blet wall back, and a place to put my nerdy framed artwork and League figures up on the shelves, and have a place in the house that is solely my own.  But the kids come first, always, and one day I will have my office back definitively.

WTF is AEW doing #137

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

After hearing about, and then seeing the visuals of Chris Jericho defeating Cesaro Claudio Castagnoli for the Ring of Honor World championship on AEW Dynamite on TNT TBS, that was the first thing that I said: wtf is AEW doing?

Then I came to the realization that I say this almost on a weekly basis, because the promotion is always doing some weird questionable things on a weekly basis except for the precise single AEW taping that I was physically present for, where absolutely nothing substantial occurred except an amusing squash match between Brody King and Darby Allin. 

Ordinarily, I’m typically in favor of most things that benefit Chris Jericho.  Notwithstanding his unfortunate political alignment that has increasingly come to light over the last few years, I can still (mostly) separate the wrestler from the guy, and it’s safe to say that I’ll be able to say that I was a fan of the performer, his impressive body of work and his timelessly impressive ability to be creative, inventive and stay relevant no matter the decade.

And with an official ROH title reign now in his pocket, Jericho joins an extremely exclusive club of guys that have held gold in WWE, WCW, ECW, NJPW and ROH, with the only other guy being to my knowledge, Bubba Ray Dudley.  Jericho may never have held TNA/Impact gold before, but Bubba has also never held an AEW title before, so it’s kind of a push for being the most decorated champions of all time.

But maybe it’s because it’s AEW and it never seems like there’s ever an endgame in sight for their seemingly random booking, but I’m more left with the feeling of wtf is AEW doing, over trying to analyze the rationale for having Chris Jericho defeating Claudio for the ROH World title.

Traditionally, logic would say that Claudio is getting a push by dropping the ROH World title, as ROH is unfortunately seen as a tier below AEW, so alleviating him of a second-tier championship frees him up to pursue AEW’s bigger and grander prizes.  But AEW doesn’t seem to know what to do with their World championship, since CM Punk can’t stop being a diva or trying to sabotage the company, so it just keeps ending up on Jon Moxley’s shoulder and is barely worth its weight right now, so it begs the question on whether or not it’s even worth pursuing.

Giving it to Jericho makes a little more sense, because it gives him one more notch on his mantle, of being the most decorated guy in the business, but at this current juncture of his career, where Jericho is seemingly content to be a star-maker, the hope is that the ROH brand will get a young technician to grow and rise to challenge Jericho for the ROH World title, to where Jericho can do good business with. 

However considering ROH still has no television and is completely reliant on AEW programming to advance their stories, it’s probably not going to be nearly as good as the potential of it is on paper.  My guess is that ultimately it’ll be Daniel Garcia vs. Chris Jericho, but it’ll come at the expense of imploding yet another Chris Jericho stable, and the likely alienation and scattering of a bunch of decent workers in the process.

Such a narrative is one that requires logic, something that AEW doesn’t seem to have.  With its World championship in the shitter because their long-term investment went berserk and got into a physical altercation with three executives who were also three of the boys, which was never a good idea in the first place, who also happened to immediately tank the six-man championship that the entire promotion was building up for since day one, the company’s entire main event picture was decimated in a single night.

And for a company with like 15 titles in active circulation, you’d think some of these guys would actually get some television time with them right?  Take PAC for example, the guy is hands down one of the top-3 workers in the entire promotion, is holding the brand new, All-Atlantic Championship, is also co-holding one of the brand-new Trios blets, you’d think he’d get some screen time right?  No way!  After winning the title in June, he doesn’t make his first televised appearance with it until August, and that’s on Dark, and literally this past Wednesday was his first-ever Dynamite defense of the title.  The belt has literally been seen more at non-AEW shows than it has been at AEW shows.

So I suppose with such a tumultuous roster, something’s gotta happen somewhere, so why not start with this, but damn if it just doesn’t seem like something interesting as much as it’s wtf is AEW doing, again?