Tag: girls

The dream where nobody has any names

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Everybody except for me thought he was 100% definitively dead.

Had he fallen backwards down the 62 stories into the street, then maybe I could, but something about the fact that after a few moments of startled stumbling, he actually managed to turn into the fall, and essentially dive off the edge of the building down 62 stories to his supposed demise.  It seems to be that I was the only person who took note of such a reaction, and such is the result of me thinking that perhaps, as unlikely as it may be, that he’s really not dead.

It doesn’t really matter right now though, because for now, at least, maybe forever; he’s out of the picture.  And with him out of the picture, it means she’s available.

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A glance back in time

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The last time I was up at my parents house, when they weren’t there, after they changed the locks and went to Costa Rica, I couldn’t sleep.  I was bored with computers, there were no sports on, and I was without an XBOX, so I eventually found my old high school yearbooks.  After spending about two minutes glancing back to junior, and senior year photos, slightly amused by the youth in mine, and everyone’s faces, I found my way to the signatures section, since I couldn’t give a shit less about anything else in these gigantic four pound editions.

The above drawing was drawn in my yearbook by my last high school crush.  Naturally, as many other teenagers, I went through my share of unrequited crushes, but this one was only one I ever really manned up and came out to admitting to, directly to her.  Naturally, right after graduation, so I wouldn’t have to really see her again if things went awry.  Surprisingly, it was not received poorly, and she even kissed me on the cheek before we parted ways and would never see each other again.  I vaguely remember feeling a sense of satisfaction, and slightly relieved that it went as well as it did, back in those days.

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As a whole, 2010 sucked. Good Riddance.

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I often think it is cliche the way people sum up entire years, this time of year, but then again, it’s so often done when things aren’t very good.  I can be fortunate to say that I haven’t really had too many bad years as wholes, and the last one that genuinely comes to mind is back in like 2002.  With all that in mind, in the pessimistic world we live in, I suppose it simply is easier to blabber about something when it’s more like a trainwreck than a sappy, warm, feel-good story.

In a nutshell, 2010 has sucked great big, gigantic, sweaty goat balls, overall.  I’m ecstatic to see that it’s mercifully coming to a close, and I’m praying that 2011 treats me, and treats Jen a whole lot better than 2010 did, because I’m not sure if I’ll have enough black hairs left to turn white by the end of next year if this shit keeps up.  With great trepidation, I clench my anoos, fearing that there’s still time for more discouraging, cringe-inducing bullshit to occur, and as evidenced by recent events, there’s no such thing as coasting to the finish.

But not to say that 2010 was 100% pure rubbish.  There were a few good things that happened this year.  And to start off this conclusive post on a positive note, let’s get the good shit out of the way so I can talk about all the shitty shit that happened that most people are more intrigued about anyway:

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One positive to a rekindled angst

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

With my head not necessarily on straight these past days, I’m finding it easier to run in the mornings.  Furthermore, due to the fact that the current gig is 47 miles from my house, in the worst traffic part of Metro Atlanta, I’ve forced myself to wake up at 6:30 a.m., instead of forfeiting any working out at all.  And at least for the last three days, waking up at 6:30 has been less troublesome than when I awoke at 7 a.m. in order to run and do some working out prior to getting to whatever gigs want me there at 9:30-10.

Or maybe it’s the subconscious reminder of rejection that is unconsciously driving me to want to improve myself further again, starting with the physicality, and making running and lifting in the mornings less of a nuisance, and more of a motivation.  Maybe it’s just the structured routine that I’m always aspiring to have that’s doing it.  Either way, good for me, for exercising.

The work itself is easy, time-consuming, and in a way, therapeutic.  I can more or less turn off my brain and mow through assignments like a weedwacker.  Two freelancers were brought in to undertake this project, and I felt that it was unnecessary.  Turns out that I was right, and that while I’m still here, the other guy was sent home.  Not to toot my own horn, but I know I’d be an asset to any fucking company that just had the balls to actually hire me.

A cranberry vodka sounds like a fantastic way to end the day.

Awkward is . . .

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yes, the thought of knowing that Pedobear might be watching you pee is a little awkward (btw, this was taken on the wall in front of a men’s urinal at the Borders in Marietta, Georgia).

But that’s not what my awkward moment of the day is.

Awkward is, getting a call from the agency, and telling me that the company where I met the girl, is calling, and is in need of designers.  And seeing as how I can’t seem to get myself a real job, and the work well has been a drier than a 70-year old nun’s twat, I’ve little choice but to accept, since it is 3-4 weeks of guaranteed work.

I know that I probably won’t ever hear from her, or see her again.

Welp, I was wrong.

Honestly, I don’t really know what to expect.  Actually, on second thought, I do – probably a bit of coldness, forced ignorance, lots of ear buds, and of course, awkwardness.  Going to be an interesting next few days . . .

The kind of heartbreak

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Well, since Mother Nature has decided to be raging bitch lately, and instead of some steady rainfall, we’re simply getting bursts of torrential downpour that are perfectly timed to be at the most inopportune times possible. It’s beautiful, sunny, and hot, while I’m at work (which, by the way, is the mind-numbing job I was so glad to have supposedly been relieved of), but 10 minutes into my commute home, the sky begins falling, and hasn’t really stopped; and the best part is that it flares up repeatedly, knocking out my satellite several times when all I’m trying to do is enjoy the All-Star game.

So, I resort to writing, since I’ve got a lot on my mind lately.

To some it may seem a little bit silly, but I’m not going to say that I’m not a little heartbroken over recent events, but admittedly, I am heartbroken. It’s not like I was in love with the girl, but I was certainly leaning in the direction of wanting to continue building a relationship before circumstances dictated otherwise. But it’s not the kind of heartbreak that results in crippling me into oblivion. Far from it. But it is still heartbreak nonetheless. And truth be told, I have felt a similar heartbreak in my life before; but it wasn’t caused by a girl.

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This is a story about a girl

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I sit down to write, and I am aware that it is a volatile state of mind in which I do so.  I brog a fairly open glimpse into the happenings of my life, for whom, I am not quite sure.  I do not know if four people read my site on a regular basis, or if it there are fifty, or if there are a hundred.  Mostly, I do this for myself, because it’s something I picked up in 2001, and after this much time of fairly regular writing, I just can’t bring myself to ever stop completely.  It’s like a pet, that no matter what, I can’t neglect it, even if it pisses me off.

For those of you who actually do read my writing, and have had difficulty reading in between the lines, here is a brief summary: a girl showed up on my long-dormant radar, there was a spark, a brief period of burning, and then it was subdued; and slowly suffocated.  And today, eight weeks later, extinguished.

And writing about it seems like a good idea, for some reason.  This is one thing I’m doing to cope with it, and move on.

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