Oh, Atlanta

Long story short: Armed man attempts to rob a group of people waiting outside of a shoe store for the new LeBron James shoes only to be killed by one of the people who happened to have a firearm of his own.

It’s reading stories like that that bring a sadistic smile to my face at just how stupidly silly and predictable people can be. I’d say it sucks that someone died in his fracas, but considering the guy was a petty wannabe thug who strived to steal from others, I’d say the world is better off without this cretin being around, or clogging up the penal system with tax dollars of the responsible sustaining his worthless life.

Seriously though, there pretty much isn’t one thing about this whole scenario that isn’t ironically funny to me. But the one thing that I think was the funniest part of this whole story, I’m willing to bet might have been lost on others, due to the fact that there was shooting and death involved, but the fact that the eyewitness interviewed in this report claims to have been waiting since Monday for the release of the shoes.

Continue reading “Oh, Atlanta”

More Atlanta police fail

There’s no better place to get some ironic inadvertent humor than the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. If I want something to shake my head and laugh at, there aren’t any better sources to check than the good ‘ol AJC.  Sadly however, today’s source of ATLOL is going to be behind the upcoming paywall, and won’t be accessible in two more days.  However, that in itself is going to be a great source of humor, because there’s no way that people are going to subscribe for AJC content online, and it’ll only be a matter of time before myAJC.com falls flat on its face and is relegated into having to provide its content for free again.

But anyway, today’s topic of inadvertent ironic humor comes courtesy of the Fulton County Police Department and their officers’ propensity to no-show in court on dates in which they summon perpetrators to defend themselves in the court of law.

Continue reading “More Atlanta police fail”

A pretty Riverdale being Riverdale story

This is just one of those stories that really encapsulates Riverdale in a nutshell pretty succinctly.

Long story short: principal gets arrested, student finds mugshot online, posts mugshot to Instagram. Principal gets pissed that her mugshot is discovered and posted online, confronts and then suspends student for no real good reason. lols ensue.

  • The student, named “Keandre” (thank GOD even Word thinks that’s a misspelling) says this after he is suspended:

I gots to be in schoo

Because he “has to study” for finals. Anyone who’s ever been to Riverdale knows that the only real education that happens in Riverdale is how to correctly hold a gun, how to escape from the non-existent police force, and how escape from the scene of a crime.

Continue reading “A pretty Riverdale being Riverdale story”

YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!

This is how I feel when I read this story.

Basically, when I came across the story about these retard teenagers who went around grocery stores and filmed themselves pretending to trip, flop and flail to the ground while holding gallon containers of milk or other beverages, resulting in massive messes and startled people, I had one of those aw, what the fuck, what is the world coming to, I hate people, humanity is doomed feelings.  It’s not funny, it’s a waste of perfectly good food, and it puts innocent strangers at risk of getting dirtied or possibly slipping themselves.  Worst of all, I didn’t actually think that these guys would get reprimanded for their actions, and would probably keep on doing it, and worse yet, influence other retard trolls to do it too.

The fact that these three worthless fucks are being nailed with criminal charges for destruction of property and disorderly conduct makes me happier than when I see a single driver actually getting caught and pulled over in the HOV lane.  The faith in humanity gauge rises a little bit, upon hearing this news.  I hope their haji father/uncle goes all old country on them and beats the living shit out of them too, for having now becoming criminals.

Continue reading “YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!”

Well, at least he didn’t get killed on the job

Well, to each, his own. I chose my path, you chose the way of the hero. And they found you amusing for a while, the people of this city. But the one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying.

On one hand, it’s good to know that Darien Long isn’t going to die on the job. But on the other hand, it’s ironically unfortunate that not only has Darien Long been let go from his job, he’s also been arrested. For doing god’s work and trying to heaven forbid, actually make a mall a better and safer place.

I get all the facts that have surfaced around both the circumstances of his release as well all his arrest, but it all just doesn’t really feel that right regardless.

Continue reading “Well, at least he didn’t get killed on the job”

I think I love this woman

Not just because Marissa Mayer, the CEO of Yahoo looks like total wifey material, but primarily for her actions, namely the one that has got her in the most childishly stupid of hot water. I can assume that most people have heard about it by now, but if you’ve been living under a rock, Mayer has pretty much told all Yahoo employees that working from home is no longer an option, and that they have to show up to work, or quit. Naturally, this has caused a monumental uproar from all of the Yahoo employees who abused the option to work from home, and they’re up in arms, and bringing everyone they can with them to fight the pointless fight.

I am unequivocally, 100% on Marissa Mayer’s side on this argument. The concept of “working from home” is one of the biggest crocks in the history of mankind, and there is absolutely nothing that could convince me that someone working from home, unsupervised and immersed in all of their worldly possessions and distractions, could actually be more productive than someone actually present in the workplace. I just don’t think it’s possible at all. I would really like to see each and every one of these Yahoo employees who are crying foul on this whole thing to try and prove otherwise, because already many have already fallen flat on their faces in attempting to do such.

Some of the biggest fail challenges are the people who claim that this completely screws up their parenting. That having to go to the office and do their job interferes with them being to stay home and well, not do their job, in favor of parenting, and all other job-irrelevant tasks and activities. Oh, I’m sorry Yahoo employee, that you have to GO to work and DO YOUR JOB. I guess you’ll have to be like all the other plebeians, and hire a babysitter or a nanny to care for your kids while you GO DO YOUR JOB.

Continue reading “I think I love this woman”

Isn’t it ironic

That with the start of February marks the start of Black History Month, and one of the biggest things to start circulating on the web now is a heroic black mall cop enforcing some necessary black-on-black justice, but because all parties involved are black, it’s one gigantic racial clusterfuck.  Obviously, this is all taking place in Atlanta, and making worldwide news as far as to where it’s covered by the Daily Mail.

As I alluded to, by calling him heroic, I think favorably of this guy.  And he’s smart too, by arming himself not just with a taser and retractcable clubs, but it’s all about the GoPro he wears on his vest, that’s taking video evidence of everything he’s doing and everything everyone he’s looking at is doing.  It’s like that part in Hot Fuzz where Simon Pegg is telling Nick Frost that the most important piece of equipment that they have as police officers is their notepads; except in the case of this mall cop, his notepad has evolved a little bit, and is capturing everything verbatim in live video.  I admire the fact that he’s not only arming himself, but also using his head to protect himself as best as possible.

Continue reading “Isn’t it ironic”