Pretty sure the Hardy Boyz are the only thing keeping JNCO jeans alive

Of the little bits of wrestling that I actually catch here and there, usually through what social media spoon feeds me, I know that the Hardy Boyz are back together, in AEW of course, where seemingly all older WWE talent seems to go to finish out.  Naturally they can’t use the Hardy Boyz name, but the point and brand is still fine, when they’re referred to as just The Hardys.

I admit that back in 1999, I was a fan of the Hardy Boyz, when they were repackaged and paired up with Gangrel.  I remember thinking, aren’t these those two jobbers who wore plaid?  But then Jeff Hardy is doing these picture perfect swanton bombs, and next thing they’re upsetting the Acolytes and they’re tag team champions, and I was kind of sold.

But that was 1999, and a few years after that, after the memorable and outstanding classics that they did with all the ladder and TLC matches.  Throughout the passage of time, they were broken up, reunited, repeat, numerous times, Matt left, Jeff left, Matt came back to feud with Edge over the Lita cheating scandal, Jeff showed up in TNA, Matt went to ROH, Matt went to TNA, both went to ROH, both came back to WWE, split up, Matt went to AEW, Jeff was relegated to 24/7 segments, left and then went to AEW and here we are.

I could also mention the 20+ times Jeff was busted for substance abuse in between all that, but all anyone has to do is Google the Jeff Hardy vs. Sting to get the big picture.

Anyway so the Hardys have been at it for well over 20 years at this point, and good on them to try and squeeze one last substantial run at a place like AEW where they’ll likely have a better shot at it than in the WWE.  That’s not the point of this post, to be one big retrospective on the Hardy Boyz, what served as the impetus of this post is the fact that over the last 20 years, and regardless of the fact that JNCO jeans basically died 20 years ago, it appears that the Hardy Brands® seem to be the only thing alive that’s keeping the clothing company intact, based on the fact that they still wear them or some knockoff variation of them, as their ring attire for the last two decades.

Sure, lots of long-time wrestlers establish a look and maintain them throughout the duration of their careers; the Rock ‘n Roll Express are both well into their 60’s and still bust out the tights and tassles, but the thing is, they’re still wrestling in wrestling gear.  The Hardy Boyz built their brand on pretty specific 1999, Avril Lavigne/emo boy street mallrat festival fashion, and for the last 20 years, they’ve stayed more or less the same, the whole time.

In one hand, good on them for consistency and really sticking to their guns, and establishing their brands.  But in the other hand, I just have this scenario in my mind, where I’m imagining Matt Hardy at his home, packing his rollaboard luggage for his next tour, hollering out to his wife, baby, have you seen my JNCOs??  With his heavy southern drawl and how he hangs on words like a real southern boy.  Matt Hardy is currently 47 years old, and is still going to work in JNCOs.  Jeff Hardy is 44 and is basically the creepy old guy at a My Chemical Romance concert.

I make myself laugh with this thought.

Anyway, good for the Hardys for always being fearless in the face of change, as far as their career directions go.  But from a branding standpoint, guys like Chris Jericho are immortalized for their creativity and ability to reinvent and repackage themselves.  Sticking with JNCOs for the last two decades seems more amusing than entertaining to me for some reason, and I have a hard time taking them serious as all-time greats as long as they continue to do so.  And I admit that I had, maybe two pairs of JNCOs myself; but that was in 1999, and by the time I started college, they were already relegated to the bottom of the closet, before quietly being thrown out when it was all but confirmed that the style was dead.

Sasha & Naomi: if this isn’t a work, then Sasha’s kind of screwed

As much as I wanted to just yell my two cents into the void and call it a day, the wrestling community has been incapable of letting go of the story of Sasha Banks and Naomi, the then-current WWE women’s tag team champions, turning in their belts to management, citing a lack of respect for them, the championships they held, other grievances, and then walking out of the company, during the middle of an episode of RAW in which they were already booked and advertised for.

My knee-jerk reaction to this whole story was it’s a work (wrestling lingo for scripted), primarily because it was acknowledged on television, and has been repeatedly acknowledged on television since it occurred.  Although professional wrestling is an always moving, always evolving entity that has shown great ability to adapt, typically throughout history if something has been genuinely legitimate along this kind of nature, it’s usually not acknowledged on television, to such in-depth detail.

Usually if something genuinely controversial happens, then suddenly it’s an injury angle, or the offender was assaulted off-camera, leading to them having been rushed to the local hospital, or some kind of hokey excuse to justify why someone isn’t showing.  The WWE acknowledging and naming Sasha Banks and Naomi and the specific things they did, doesn’t exactly sound the alarm of legitimate controversy, but more like an elaborate storyline is being executed instead.

Furthermore, it sets up some future storytelling opportunities, like Naomi having an excuse to break away from the tag team scene to where she can ultimately join the Samoan Bloodline group, since she’s the real-life wife to Jimmy Uso, and would make an excellent addition to the team and give them a designated female member to start collecting women’s titles.  But instead of a vanilla breakup storyline with Sasha Banks, she can instead vanish from television outright, before being unveiled at a later date, when people might actually have begun to believe she was indefinitely removed from the company.

For Sasha Banks however, I’m not really sure how this benefits her, other than the fact that it gets her out of tag team purgatory and capable of vying for a women’s championship sooner rather than later, without having to eat a loss in order to drop the tag titles.

And frankly, it’s only because Sasha Banks is involved in this at all, is the only think that clouds up the waters that it might not be a work, even though I maintain that it is, solely because of the fact that Sasha Banks has already walked out on the company before, and if the reported reasons for this one are true, then it’s basically history repeating itself, and she probably just needs a minute to chill and come back to earth before ultimately coming back from yet another self-centered hiatus.

The thing is though, if this isn’t a work, then I have to think that Sasha Banks is kind of screwed.  Her wrestling career won’t be over, because she can always jump to AEW, and there’s no doubt the WWE would bring her back, because I’ve always said that Vince McMahon would hire the murderer of his wife if he thought there was money to be made with them, and Sasha Banks would be no exception.

The difference would more likely be the reception she gets from her peers in the industry, because if legitimate, this would be the second time that Sasha has walked out on the company because more or less, she didn’t want to eat a shit sandwich of not being in a prominent, championship-caliber program for a few minutes.  The problem is, there is nobody in the entire history of the industry where a shit sandwich or fifty were not on their menu at varying points in their careers, and I’d guess that her peers would be less than enthused with her sense of entitlement and unwillingness to go through the grind as everyone has to in their careers. 

In wrestling speak, if this is a legitimate situation, then there’s bound to be a lot of the mythical, heat, on both of them, but more on Sasha Banks.  It might not sound like such a big deal, but heat has been known to have derailed even the most promising of careers throughout the history of the business.

By now, I’ve heard all sorts of arguments from the endless rabbling scuttlebutt of the internet community, as well as random discussions with my circle of bros that I like to bullshit about wrestling with.  Real or not, it’s good that the perception is that both Sasha and Naomi both know their worth, which makes flexing on the company remotely possible, but when the day is over, if this really isn’t a work, then Naomi is probably more critical to retain than Sasha is. 

Being an Anoa’I by law as well as a good worker means she has influential backing within the company as well as a role in a storyline that will eventually require her.  But as for Sasha, as much of a fan of the worker I am, if this is legitimate, then I kind of lose some respect for her, because I’m feeling like she thinks she’s a little too good for the business to not solely be in championship storylines. 

Sasha might know her worth, but it’s not like she isn’t still ultimately replaceable; Charlotte and Becky Lynch are still the faces of the women’s division.  Bianca Bel Air is the present and future.   Bayley, Asuka and Rhea Ripley are strong workers, Alexa Bliss is still wildly popular, and there’s a ton of women’s talent out there that could be poached or developed, and no one talent will ever be bigger than the industry.

The bottom line is that I still think this is a work, and it’s only a matter of time in which both of them come back, with Naomi joining the Bloodline, and Sasha probably being a masked assailant of Ronda Rousey or something, after she decimates the division because she’ll seemingly always booked to the moon.  But if it isn’t a work, then this’ll probably be the beginning of the end for Sasha Banks, and hopefully Mercedes Varnado has made enough friends or can get hooked up through Snoop Dogg, to transition into a performing career.

It only took me 21 years

When I was a wee lad, obsessed with cars and Initial D, I wanted little else than a really fast Japanese car.  One to become a drifter with, or just plain go fast. 

Although Initial D shit on them, I really was fond of turbo-charged cars that were all-wheel drive.  Mitsubishi Lancer Evolutions, Subaru Imprezas, Nissan Skyline GT-Rs, etc. Obviously the latter would never be available in America but I really would have liked to have gotten my hands on an Evo or an Impreza at some point in my life.

Well it’s been like 21 years since those days, but I’ve finally got my turbo-charged, AWD Japanese car.  A Mazda CX-9.

Not quite the same thing, huh?  But yet it does fall possess those variables I wanted when I was a kid.

Regardless, this is the culmination of my recent car search where I decided to capitalize on the fucked up car market, and upgrade to the larger car that my famiry will ultimately command, while the opportunity was hot.

Sure, most people are innately aware that car values are bloated like an HP computer out of the box, but at the same time trade-in values are also insane as well.  My new car’s MSRP is well north of $40,000 and more so due to current market bloat, but when I had my previous ride appraised, it was insanely high and that’s what got the wheels in motion.

Yes, all numbers were pretty all over the place, but I like to look at it from the perspective of the facts that I don’t think I would’ve been in a position of having nearly $9,000 in positive equity to put towards a new car in three years when my previous one would’ve been paid off.  Yes, the sticker price of my new car was a little bit bloated, but my total out-the-door cost was substantially lower than the MSRP of it, so I take solace in that above all else.

But most importantly, I’ve filled the anticipated need of having a large famiry vehicle for my famiry to grow into, as opposed to feeling progressively more and more cramped from my prior car as my kids grow and their needs evolve and they start amassing tons of shit.

And now I can make the dad-like jokes about how I have the AWD turbo car that I’ve been pining for, for over two decades.  Nobody has to know that it’s also 4,400 lbs and can seat seven.  Might as well be the Evo that beat Tiff Needell, even though he was cheating.

Steph Curry hit 16 threes in a game

Sure, it was an all-star game, where nobody plays any defense, but still.  In the span of a single 48-minute basketball game, Steph Curry still sank an astounding 16 three pointers.  Now if you’re doing the math, that means he scored 48 points on treys alone, so it’s funny to see that his final score was still a ridiculous 50 points, meaning that aside from all the three pointers, he made just one singular two point field goal.

Numbers like these will never fail to astound me, because I grew up as an NBA fan in an era where John Starks sinking six threes in a game is a rare occurrence, Dennis Scott going nuts and draining nine was bonkers, and then Kobe Bryant hitting eleven threes in a game was flat-out ridiculous.  50 points in an all-star game was unheard of, and I remember the last time the all-star game was in Cleveland, Glen Rice won the MVP after scoring 26 points and hitting a paltry four threes.

So seeing that a guy hit 16 three pointers in a single game is definitely something that makes my face contort and say really, because that’s just flat out ridiculous.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t hit 16 threes in a single game of NBA Jam, even with the fire cheat code on, because the quarters were like two minutes long and I simply didn’t have the time to launch sixteen threes.

The more I think about it, the more it’s clear that Steph Curry really did change the entire sport of basketball, arguably more than any other guy before him.  To a degree, even guys like Kobe Bryant and LeBron James were evolutions of Michael Jordan, who were all dominant scorers and utilized strong post games and mid-range shooting to amass their points.  But then Steph Curry came along playing like he were a video game character, and launching twenty three pointers a game, but the thing was that he was still hitting like 8-9 of them every single game and next thing you know he’s cleared 25 points on threes alone.

I used to root against the Warriors because I’m resistant to change and I had a hard time accepting the Golden State Warriors as championship material, and then I rooted against them because nobody likes seeing top dogs continue to succeed.  But regardless of how ambivalent I am towards the NBA in general, there’s no denying that rooting for or against the Warriors, Steph Curry is a phenomenal talent, and seeing him drain threes from all over the floor is truly awe-inspiring and never isn’t entertaining.

This could be a good mid-life crisis car, if I weren’t already there

Obviously I don’t have the time to stay on top of car news, much less any real news in the world, my city or even my own community, so I have no idea how long this has been in the works, or how much of not-new news this is.  But I recently saw some photos of the 2023 Nissan Fairlady Z, and I couldn’t help but be very impressed with its aesthetics and think it’s one of the more visually appealing cars I’ve seen in a very long time.

Frankly, I suppose I’m the one becoming out of touch and the world of design is leaving an old like me behind, but I haven’t been impressed with lots of cars of today.  They’re boxy, ugly and turning into space ships as far as I’m concerned, and I am disliking a lot more cars than liking them as they’re being released, supply chain be damned.

But the new Nissan Fairlady, now this is something that’s sleek and classic looking, with just enough touches of modern technology that creates an aesthetically pleasing package that is just enough throwback, but implementing a lot of popular elements of today.

From the front, and the side, it doesn’t look too far off of the current 370Z in terms of silhouette and lines.  Maybe looks a little thinner, which I’m good with because I think the current generation looks too fat, caving into the pathetic fat widening of the citizens of the world today.

But it’s the rear end that catches my attention and makes me take longer looks and show some interest in the vehicle beyond just the first aesthetic glance.  It has a very retro-looking hatch, and I love the taillight cluster that definitely harkens back to the 300ZX that was discontinued in the late 90s.

Yes, if I had to pick, I would probably definitely be an ass man, all about that butt.  And the new Fairlady definitely has one that stops and makes me the meme.

The funny thing is that as a whole, the entire car reminds me more of a classic Nissan 180SX in terms of shape and silhouette, but it has the taillight cluster of a 300ZX.  And given the fact that the front does not have retractable lights, it almost feels like a modern take of the Sil-Eighty that I always dreamed of getting/creating myself.

All this being said, one of the first things I said to myself was that this car could very well be a strong candidate for my inevitable mid-life crisis car.  But then I realized that I’m basically already 40 now, which is the stereotypical age in which men stereotypically start going into them, stereotypically getting a muscle car, and dressing like stereotypical douchebags.

And considering the ages of my children, and the inevitable need for a large dad-mobile, short of me becoming wealthier than I am currently and being able to afford an extra, fuck you car, or be willing to recklessly become car-poor, my mid-life crisis car might have to be pushed back a decade or so, to where this car will probably long be gone, and the used versions of them will be modded to oblivion and be basically worthless.

But I can still appreciate great car design, and fantasize about what ifs.  Maybe I’ll turn back the clock, LARP as Gordon (Liu), the guy in the market for a new car, and go test drive one, just to feel what it feels like and get it out of my system.

Cobra Kai x Champion is straight fire

In my perception, athletic apparel company Champion, is kind of B-level.  In the past, they used to be among the pinnacle of the industry, being the official uniform sponsor of the NBA, among other notable partnerships.  But as time passed, I don’t know who initiated the changes, but Champion kind of fell to the wayside; the NBA seemed to allow individual teams to make their own apparel partnerships, and in most cases, Nike was the brand making jerseys and other apparel.  UnderArmour emerged, and the field began to get very crowded in athletic apparel.

Champion, kind of became a second-tier manufacturer in my eyes, and they weren’t nearly as cool as the aforementioned Nike, UnderArmour, or Adidas, among others.  When I went to Braves Spring Training for the first time, I always thought it was cool that their ST venue was called Champion Stadium, but didn’t realize until I got there that that was on account of the Champion brand sponsoring it, with their wordmark being on the façade of the building.

It made me tilt my head at the low-key lameness of it, in spite of the cool name.  The Braves have since moved out of Orlando, and fleeced the people of Sarasota to build them a $175M facility, but the point remains that even they, abandoned Champion too.

When I saw the mass unveiling of Cobra Kai training gear in season 4 (above image), my jaw did a quarter drop, at just how fucking baller and awesome some of it looked.  As much as I think the Kyler Park character is a total choad and a disgrace to Koreans, the shirt he and Kenny Payne and that rando white guy in the back are wearing, is a training shirt that I must have if/when they become available to the public.  And as the scene unfolds, you see that everyone is wearing some form of Cobra Kai gear, some more obvious than others, but they’re all, straight fucking fire.

And then, I noticed the Champion logos on everything, and suddenly, I’m like okay, okay…  If ever there was a way to climb out of mediocrity, associating themselves with a popular IP like Cobra Kai seems like as good of idea as any, if there ever was one.

Now, I’m no longer thinking Champion is such a B-tier brand, and was actively googling to see if and when there was a chance that all this baller gear was ever going to be available to the public.  And if this link is accurate, then yes, there will be.

Anyway, while I’m on Cobra Kai, let’s talk about season 4, and I think it’s safe to say that there will probably be spoilers written out.

Continue reading “Cobra Kai x Champion is straight fire”

Zombie shark, est. 1979

When I saw the clickbait headline on social media for this, I of course clicked it, but I already knew that this was going to turn into a brog post: Dr. Mario releases what ultimately becomes a zombie shark, off the coast of Spain

To horror fans, all one has to do is say the words “zombie shark,” and literally only one thing pops into their minds: Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2 film, that very notoriously, contained a sequence, in which a zombie takes on, a shark.

Spoiler alert, as if anyone’s going to read this, drop what they’re doing and rush out to go find out how and where to watch Zombi 2, but the shark rips off the arm of the zombie and more or less “wins” in the sense that it swims away still living.  However, the zombie definitely succeeds at ripping a chunk off of it to eat, but it’s fairly unclear that it landed any actual bites onto the shark, since sharks skin are pretty tough.  But the zombie is all over the shark for some bit of time, so it is presumed that it probably had to have gotten some bites in before its arm is ripped off and the conflict is over.

Well, it only took 42 years but it looks like we’ve got our answer to that specific scene from that documentary.  Clearly, the zombie got some bites in, or perhaps it’s by virtue of the shark ingesting some of that wack-ass green zombie blood, but it clearly got turned, was caught by Dr. Mario, presumably studied because it was a fucking zombie shark, and then released into the wild, where some other sharks whooped its ass, leaving it to actually, ultimately die, finally.

Really though, I’m not sure why it’s some sort of shocker that a shark that’s all mangled open is still searching for food.  When they’re at full health, it’s all sharks do in the first place, I’m not sure why one being practically ripped open would behave any differently, than to seek out food before it eventually succumbed.

All the same, good on the internet for giving all us zombie fans reason to make the never-not entertaining reference to Fulci’s zombie vs. shark, because even to this day, there’s never been a more wildly insane fight sequence than this was.