Tag: basketball

Who knew Dwyane Wade was an old Asian guy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The Atlantic: The Worst Statue in the History of Sports

Usually when I link to a source, I write my own snarky little snippet, but in this particular case, I think The Atlantic’s verbatim headline, although a little heavy-handed, sums up the general sentiment and sets the tone for my own observations about Dwyane Wade’s freshly unveiled statue, outside of the BBC whatever name of the venue in which the Miami Heat play in.

But yes, the Dwyane Wade statue is pretty horrendous for a litany of reasons, and not just the fact that it looks absolutely fucking nothing like him.  Personally, I think he looks like an old Asian man, like Mr. Fuji from the WWF, but I’ve seen comparisons to Morpheus from The Matrix, as well as a laundry list of other NBA players past and present.

I can’t say that I was as big of a hoops fan to understand the significance of him pointing down, but the 14-year old in me automatically assumes that he’s pointing to his testicles, adding to the list of reasons why this statue is so historically bad.

Without (much) argument, Wade is probably the best player to be drafted and succeed with the Miami Heat, having won a championship with him being the 1A guy in like 2006.  If there were any time in his career in which his status should have been inspired by, I would’ve guessed the 2006 Finals, but I don’t really remember much about his performance other than the absolutely bonkers rate in which Wade went to the free throw line, and attempted over 90 free throws during the series against the Mavericks, en route to scoring like 200 points and winning the Finals MVP, so I guess having a statue of him shooting free throws wouldn’t have been that legendary.

Otherwise, as revered as he is in Miami, all I remember him for is being the guy that voluntarily gave up the driver’s seat of the team to LeBron James, which did in fact, net him two more championship rings, but basically tarnished the rest of his career as he basically became Robin for the remainder of it, to the point where he was one of the first really hilariously notable victims to a sports contract opt-out clause, where he opted out of his deal with the Heat, thinking he could negotiate more money, but was very wrong, and ended up having to crawl back to the Heat for the same money, but more years to earn it.

He would then bounce around between Chicago and Cleveland and eventually come back to the Heat where he could at least go out on relatively his own terms, ending where it all began, and actually have a farewell tour in the process.

I have no issue with Dwyane Wade, but in my opinion there’s no mistaking that he’s a guy that got owned quite a few times in his career, and I can’t help but find humor in those scenarios.  The fact that in what should’ve been one of his last few greatest career moments in his career, also ended up being a bomb as well, on account of a hilariously terrible statue that looks absolutely nothing like him seems fitting, as the guy basically finished up the second half of his career getting owned repeatedly; so really what really is the harm in one more instance of getting owned for D-Wade?

I don’t see it anywhere, but let’s just hope that the statue itself at least spelled “Dwyane” correctly; not that it should be surprising if they didn’t considering the asinine phonetically incorrect way he actually legally spells it, but it would be funny if it weren’t.

I always forget there are four NBA teams in California

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

While scrolling through some sports headlines, I saw one that stated that the Sacramento Kings had landed DeMar DeRozan, for three years and $74M dollars.  My first thought was simply, oh yeah, the Sacramento Kings are an NBA team.

I simply had forgotten that they existed.

It occurred to me then, that pretty much at no point in my entire sports fan life, have I ever really been able to immediately recall that there are four NBA teams in the state of California.  The Lakers are easy to remember, the Clippers are easy to remember as the team that isn’t the Lakers, but at varying points in my life, I always forget about one of the teams between the Warriors and the Kings.

Usually it correlates with which one of them sucks because sucky teams are easy to lose track of, but one of my friends recently reminded me that it was the Kings that actually eliminated the Warriors from this past year’s playoffs, but it didn’t really matter because they had been living in the shadow of the Warriors for so long now, that they’re still basically an invisible market.

Back to the original point though, I like DeRozan as a player, but the fact that he’s going to the Kings, it’s a good thing that he’s getting paid a fat contract, because he’s definitely going to be an invisible player for the next three seasons, barring any opt-out clauses or drama-filled trade sagas that could occur along the way.  Because the Warriors still have a few years left in the tank before they really start to suck, and until Steph Curry hangs up his shoes, the Warriors are always going to be relevant, and there simply isn’t going to be any room for any awareness for the Kings short of a breakout star and/or deep playoff run.

It’s funny though, because as long as I’d been paying attention to basketball, I can definitely recall the years where the Kings were the kings, and the Warriors were invisible, and when the Warriors were pretending to be Ultimate and the Kings ceased to exist.

When I first really got into basketball, the Warriors were the good team because they had the Run TMC backcourt of Tim Hardaway, Mitch Richmond and Chris Mullin which was fun, fast and exciting to watch.  Although the Warriors were still a fringe team, they were exciting, while I didn’t even know where in the country Sacramento was at that age.

Eventually, as is inevitable in the world of sports, the Warriors would eventually become the laughing stock of the NBA, winning 19-28 games a season, years after Run TMC and trading Mitch Richmond and Chris Webber away.  And it would be Chris Webber who would transform the Kings into contenders, and teamed up with guys like Mike Bibby, Peja Stojakovic and Vlade Divac, the team would really challenge the league, and if not for existing at the same time as a prime Kobe/Shaq Lakers squad that had Robert Horry on it, they probably could’ve won a championship and really put Sacramento on the map for good.

But that window of contention would eventually close, and the Warriors would draft Steph Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green, pick up Andre Iguodala, hire Steve Kerr as head coach, and the rest is history.  The Warriors would go on to become one of the greatest squads in history, making the Finals an absurd amount of times, winning multiple ships, and putting their stamp on the record books, both team and individual.  It’s safe to say that the Splash Bros changed the entire game, and the influence is palpable with ballers all over the world flinging three-pointers like it’s the only option on the court.

Meanwhile, the Kings have taken the backseat once again, and whenever the topic of the NBA comes up, I always have to stutter and stall whenever the obscure trivia comes up of, name all four NBA franchises in California, because I simply forgot they fucking existed.  Sure, they’re on the rise again, but we’re reading a pivotal point in the timeline of the modern NBA, where it could really go either way, whether the Warriors make all the right moves and climb back up the standings of contenders, or they slowly begin their ride into the sunset as Steph winds his career down, while the Kings capitalize on draft picks and acquisitions like DeRozan.

And five years from now, who will be the contender, and who will be the forgotten fourth team in California?  I don’t know, but what I do know is that whomever is the shitty team then, is the team that I’ll definitely forget exists.

The world no longer has the greatest living center alive

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

RIP: Bill Walton passes away at the age of 71

I don’t even remember who preceded Bill Walton on the NBA on NBC broadcasts throughout the 90s, but when I had really gotten into basketball, my memories of watching hoops always had the voice of Marv Albert and someone else in it.  Maybe it was Paul Westphal or Doug Collins, I don’t remember, but what I do remember is when Bill Walton joined Marv Albert behind the desk, and the two of them commentated on some of the greatest games of basketball I’ve ever watched.

I didn’t know really anything about Bill Walton when he took over the broadcasting duties, except for the fact that he was a former NBA player from yesteryear.  I didn’t know that he was some beatnik hippie player who played for the Portland Trailblazers and the Boston Celtics, and I frankly didn’t know anything about his career, playstyle or any remote idea of his general numbers.  The internet didn’t really exist then, much less have an online database where I can satiate any curiosity of any player of any time in history these days.

Honestly, at first, I found Walton to be kind of obnoxious, from his nasal-ey voice, tendency to go off on tangents about things that weren’t basketball, and inject a little too much opinion and editorial into his commentating style.  I didn’t need to hear about the famines in Sri Lanka, while I’m sitting at the edge of my seat watching Patrick Ewing trying to come out victorious over the Indiana Pacers.  I didn’t need to hear about how he was happier being the greatest sixth man ever for the Celtics instead of being the star in Portland when I was amped up watching Anfernee Hardaway prepare for some last second heroics against the Hakeem Olajuwon and the Houston Rockets.

But as the years passed, the sound of Bill Walton grew into a familiar comfort, and as I grew older and my general brain began to expand, the things he would drone on and on about during the span of a basketball game became entertaining.  Especially when while he was doing it, Marv Albert was being the studious straight man calling the action to the book, along with his iconic YESSSS calls whenever Michael Jordan drilled a fadeaway in John Starks’ face.

One of my favorite Bill Walton cliches, before the phrase meme even came into existence, were all the times throughout the decade where Walton would make remarks or insinuations that he was a better center than Shaquille O’Neal.  Which was laughable, considering Walton was a lanky white guy who excelled at set play team basketball while Shaq was probably the single greatest dominating physical force in the history of the game, but it never stopped old Bill Walton from trying to hint that he was always a better player than him, mostly because of his superior free throw percentage and ability to pass the ball.

My friends and I would often do bad impressions of Bill Walton whenever we talked hoops, and it always boiled down to a caricature quote of him saying:

I know a better center than Shaq.  Me.

Oh and how we ended up loving Bill Walton in the end.  Eventually, NBC would foolishly lose the license to the NBA, and it would be quite some time before Bill Walton would be back in the booth with any regularity, and by then, I had already long phased out of my love for hoops, the NBA and having time in general to watch basketball.

But I have memories as recent as just a few years ago, of where Bill Walton was doing some guest commentary during a college basketball game, and in true classic Bill Walton, the man would just not shut the fuck up about topics that had to do with anything other than basketball, like some of the turmoil going on in Syria or some other third world country.  The guy doing the play-by-play was probably getting annoyed, but I definitely was enjoying it the whole time, because despite the fact that time had aged and eroded Bill Walton physically, he was still the same beatnik underneath it all, and his past basketball accolades always got him in the door to be on television to talk about absolutely anything but basketball; during basketball games.

At 71 years of age, the man had lived a fairly full life, close to general life expectancy.  Probably a lot of the psychedelic drugs he did as a devout Dead Head probably shaved a few years off, but it’s probably hard to argue that he didn’t live his life to the fullest.  It does make me sad to learn that the greatest living center is no longer among us, and he clearly impacted my life to the point where his passing warrants a post in the brog.

Happy trails, Bill Walton – you certainly were a better center than Shaq was, at quite a few things.

Oh the sweet irony

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

lol’d heartily: Joel Embiid expresses disappointment at Knicks fans taking over the Sixers’ Wells Fargo Center during the Knicks’ playoff win

Fewer things in sports are as awe-inspiring as a stadium takeover.  It’s nigh impossible to get sports fans to ever come together and be in complete solidarity at home, much less take the act on the road, but there have been instances throughout the history of sport where the planets align, the stars are in the right position and people manage to get on the same page, and embark on taking over stadiums, be it their own, and even more rarely, someone else’s.

Once there was a year where the Braves were not good and the visiting Chicago Cubs were having a strong season.  I remember watching the game on television, and noticing that the crowd was particularly hot that night, where the usually apathetic Atlanta fans were cheering for every single and strikeout, and there was a lot of booing whenever the Cubs did anything good for themselves.  But reality came catching up and eventually the Cubs took the lead and cruised to a relatively easy victory, but not before chasing off Braves fans, basically taking over Turner Field, and I remember seeing one shot of a large group of fans in the nosebleeds unfurling a banner that said “Wrigley South.”

It was fucking embarrassing.

There was a stretch where the Pittsburgh Penguins systematically eliminated the Washington Capitals from the NHL playoffs for 800 years in a row.  The greatest player in the history of the game since Gretzky, Alexander Ovechkin for whatever reason, couldn’t lead a DC team over the Penguins, and there was one specific year where Penguins fans trekked down to DC and really rub it into the face of Caps fans, and although they didn’t take over the USAir MCI Verizon Whatever the fuck they call it Arena now, they definitely didn’t make haste in getting out of town after the Penguins eliminated the Caps yet again.

Partying in the streets, congregating all over DC’s numerous landmarks in Penguins gear, basically marking their territory all over the city; it was fucking embarrassing.

The poor Baltimore Orioles, there was a stretch where they were woefully bad year in and year out, and eventually word got out to just about every team off of I-95, and Camden Yards was invaded countless times.  The Phillies, Yankees and Red Sox have taken over their stadium a bunch of times, and even the Nationals down the street have gathered en masse in their lovely ballpark.  They’ve been proclaimed to be Yankee Stadium South and Fenway South more times than they should’ve been. 

I’ve actually been there for a Nationals take over and a Yankee takeover.  One man I spoke with explained to me that it was cheaper to drive his family of four down to Baltimore from New York, the cost of tickets, food and lodging, than it would’ve been for decent seats at Yankee Stadium.  That fact, as well as getting taken over as repeatedly as they have been: fucking embarrassing.

But circling back to the Phillies, there was one year in particular that stands out, where Phillies fans absolutely took the fuck over at Nationals Park for the season opener.  I remember reading about it in the aftermath, how a really popular Philly sports website arranged the whole thing, and exploited a ticketing snafu that gave large groups priority when purchasing tickets, and the result was a Nationals home game that was easily 65%+ Phillies fans, where all the home players were booed out of the building, and Roy Halladay absolutely shut them down.

I knew several friends who were at the game, and unsurprisingly, it was one of the worst game experiences they’d ever had.  All the same, it was, fucking embarrassing.

And as far as I’m concerned, Philly kind of reinvented the idea of stadium takeovers.  After Occupy Nationals Park, it became almost like something that Philly sports fans would do anywhere else they could get away with it.  As mentioned, they weren’t shy about pulling the same act on the Orioles, but they’ve also attempted it on the Baltimore Ravens in the seasons in which the Eagles had them on the road.

The New York and Pittsburgh sport scenes are a little more prideful to allow such to happen, but as the pattern seems to be, just like everyone in Westeros, everyone marches south.

Which brings us back to the original topic, it’s sweet irony at its finest that not only did a Philadelphia sports team get invaded, the players definitely noticed, as Joel Embiid took the time to “I love them but” and basically throw them under the bus for not showing up to support the team, in the playoffs no less, and allowing for all the Knicks fans to take over their home court.

After the NLDS choke against the Phillies last year, I basically threw in the towel and resigned that Philly definitely is a sports town worthy of respect, for the innovative culture and brand they’ve built where players want to throw themselves into moving traffic for the fans, but then they have to and act like shitty fairweather fans who clearly have taken the 76ers for granted, the Process for granted and have collectively prioritized Eagles football and Phillies baseball over their basketball franchise.

And getting the stuffing beat out of them by the Knicks, of all the teams in the league.  The Knicks haven’t been relevant since Patrick Ewing was still on team, and I don’t say that just to be snarky, in the footage I’d seen of the takeover, the #1 jersey still seen being worn by most of these fans, is #33 Ewing.

The Knicks suck, but the Sixers and the city of Philadelphia are allowing them and their fans to have a genuine W, before they’ll inevitably choke and make this whole playoff run feel all for naught.

How fucking embarrassing.

How to fix the wage gap

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Among one of my group chats, the topic of wage inequality came up again, starting with the embarrassingly low salaries of WNBA players.  Basically despite being the female equivalent of Steph Curry, the #1 draft pick of the WNBA draft, Caitlin Clark, she who led Iowa into prominence and caught the imagination of hoops fans across the country, will basically be making a paltry $75,000, or something close to that, in her first season in the WNBA. 

It’s not often that I can say it, but I make more money than the WNBA salary, and I am not a professional athlete.

To put it in perspective, I’ve been doing a lot of daily research on history, in an attempt to simply enlighten myself with useless knowledge, but one of the things that I like to do is when I come across financial figures from various points in time, I like to punch in the numbers to compare to how the dollar amounts translate with today’s inflation.

Like for example, Alaska was purchased for $7.2 million dollars in 1867, and $7.2 million in today’s dollars would be like $155M or somewhere close.  And then off the top of my head, I could rattle off several baseball players who are on contracts for double that amount or more, putting into further perspective just how overpaid professional athletes not in the WNBA are.

Ford lit the world on fire in the 1914 when they instituted a $5 daily wage; I’m not sure how accurate internet inflation calendars really are, but basically that breaks down to a $19 an hour minimum wage, yet somehow across the country, less than half of that is still considered the federal minimum.

For about a minute, we pondered on what the world would be like if even the most menial jobs making minimum wage, were still paying $19-21 an hour.  People would be grossing $3K+ a month if they could notch full-time hours, and that’s definitely closer to being able to survive in the world than where we are now.

Then came the rhetorical pondering of how fucked up it is that there’s such an inequity in wages in the world; leading me to snarkily blurt out that with wages like these, American employers might as well reinstitute indentured servitude, because if you’re going to treat people like slaves, might as well give them a roof over their heads and three square meals a day for the exploitation.

And then it dawned on me that if rich white people were forced to shelter and feed and give rudimentary human consideration to people, they would ultimately favor paying them more to keep the poors away from them, and right here, we’ve just fixed the wage gap.

I would absolutely want to tune in and watch, some politician in a suit, march into Congress or the Senate or the House or whichever place in Washington DC where white people argue over the state of the country, and with a completely straight face, propose reinstituting indentured servitude.  Obviously, don’t tell them why it’s being suggested, but I would wager that the intended result would undoubtedly happen, because as much as rich white people love turning the screws to poor people, the hate being around poor people.

If they were put into a position to where they not only had to be near them, but actually had to cohabitate with them, then there’s no telling just how fast they would agree to up wages across the board just to prevent such a ludicrous idea from even come remotely close to becoming reality.

And just like that, I’ve figured out how to close the wage gap up, real fast.  As the ancient Egyptians once paraphrased, slavery – it gets shit done.  But in this case, it’s indentured servitude, but it really is close enough to where the point remains.

Of course it’ll be Duke that kills a tradition

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Source: #8 Duke loses to unranked Wake Forest, students storm the court; Duke center Kyle Filipowski allegedly injured by fan during the mob, coach Jon Scheyer calls for an end to storming

The low-hanging fruit is that if Duke could just stop sucking and getting upset by lesser-heralded opponents, they wouldn’t have to deal with other schools’ fans storming the court on them.  Furthermore, we’re long past Coach K’s retirement and it’s apparent that Jon Scheyerface isn’t helming a perpetual national champion anymore, so if the NCAA could stop overrating the fuck out of Duke and having them in the AP Top-10 all the time, then maybe opponents will stop thinking they’re upsetting Goliath every time they eat another L, and fans won’t feel the need to storm the court.

Put me in the segment of sports fans that is particularly enjoying the new reality that Duke is far from the automatic win they used to be, and regardless of the diminishing importance of beating Duke is becoming, it’s always a pleasure to see them take a loss.

But here’s the thing, I can see where Jon Scheyerface is coming from, as well as all those who are in support of his remarks to plead with an end to court storming.  Just because it’s a long-standing tradition across the college athletics landscape, most notably in football and basketball, and just because it’s something that’s “always been done,” it doesn’t mean that it hasn’t ever been a potential risk to tons of student athletes and team and venue personnel, and it doesn’t mean it’s really ever been right.

It’s just that this particular season, there have now been two noteworthy incidents where players have gotten bodied by jubilant fans storming the court, where Iowa’s Caitlin Clark was trucked by a fan, and now Dook’s Kyle Filipowki* took a tumble and had to be helped off the court.  If there’ve been any other incidents in the past in hoops or football, none have really made the media such as these.

*which sounds about like the whitest name in the world, even for a Dook player

As traditional and exciting it is to see a court storming, it really is a recipe for disaster where it’s a miracle that things haven’t gotten worse than these isolated incidents throughout the years.  Hundreds to thousands of people, swept up in emotion and excitement of being on the right side of a victory, rushing towards a central point where there might still be opposition present, trying to process an L while going against the flow of human traffic; suddenly accessible when they typically aren’t, because a venue’s security has long since been physically overwhelmed.

The reality is that a court storming can happen at any point of a game, not just the finish, and there is literally nothing a venue could do about it.  There is nothing short of employing the Justice League to guard the access points to the court or field from being swarmed by hundreds to thousands of rushing human beings, and even the most imposing of security will get overwhelmed by a mass of people eventually.  Unless there is a ratio of security that is closer to 1:1 and not 1:500, court storming is literally impossible to prevent from happening.

It’s just that traditionally, there is an understood agreement and civility that saves court storming for upsets of heralded opponents.  Dook has done a good job historically, be it through their students, alumni, PR and brand management, of becoming the school that everyone loves to hate, and seemingly regardless of their rank or position in the NCAA rankings, has probably been the school to have to deal with the most number of court stormings against over the last 25 years or so, so in spite of my general disdain for the school, I actually do understand where the concerns over court storming come from.

Like I said, it’s easy to make the joke that maybe if they just stop losing, they wouldn’t have to deal with it, but the concerns and potential dangers are no less real when it comes to when it actually happens.  Frankly, I don’t think Filipowski was actually hurt as much as he was more trying to cushion his bruised ego for taking an L against Wake Forest, much like any player who gets rocked in any sport suddenly having an spontaneous injury announced afterward to try and salvage their ego.

But if court storming actually does have action taken against it, regardless of the fact that nobody can really stop it from happening, all eyes are going to be on Duke as the party responsible for attempting to kill a tradition that has been a part of college sports almost as long as the existence of college sports.  And as much as people who didn’t go to Dook generally revile Dook, this outcome would probably, undoubtedly make things much worse for them, and probably set up a situation where even more schools will feel the compulsion to storm on them if they ever lose in their houses.

Would be pretty impressive to be Kyle Filipowski, because it would most definitely put him up in the upper echelon of Hated White Duke Player history, with Christian Laettner, JJ Redick and Grayson Allen, but unlike them, it’s not because he was so good at basketball as much as he was trying to kill off a timeless tradition and change the general landscape of college sports.

Few things make me as entertained as professional athletes getting owned monetarily

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

In short: NBA player Tony Snell owned when nobody picked him up, denying him from hitting premium pension benefits; MLB player Blake Snell owned because nobody wants to sign him, among other notable free agents, despite being the reigning NL Cy Young winner

Man, there’s few things that are amusing to me than hearing stories about professional athletes who get owned, financially.  A bunch of out-of-touch grown-ass man-babies who didn’t learn how to manage their finances or don’t seem to realize the privileges they have getting paid egregious amounts of money for being exceptionally good at playing children’s intramural sports. 

And I love how the media feeds us these stories as if we should feel bad for these guys, as if we the regular people will be able to relate and agree that they’re getting screwed or something, by some evil employers and/or corporations.  Nuh-uh, doesn’t work that way, and I don’t think I’ll ever feel bad for any professional athlete not getting the six or seven figures-plus that they think they deserve, while short of me finding the recipe for instant money, I, or anyone like me, will never see seven figures at any point in our lives.

So let’s start with Tony Snell, the fringe basketball player, whom we’re supposed to feel bad for because no team in the NBA wanted to pick him up, and give him a 10th year of service, which would qualify him and his entire family for “premium” pension, which encapsulates lifetime medical for him, as well as his spouse and children.  It’s also pointed out how his sons are both on the spectrum, and made to sound like it’s a tragedy that no NBA team, especially a curated list of teams that had an available roster spot, would pick him up and let him ride the bench so that he could get full medical for his family.

Last time I checked, autism is not cancer, nor is something that is life-threatening, and isn’t something that only the offspring of professional athletes are subject to.  Millions of people across the planet are on the spectrum or deal with autism and they most certainly don’t have the safety net of insurance to help out with some of the nuisances that living with autism can cause, and Tony Snell having to deal with kids with autism doesn’t make him a tragedy, it just makes him like millions of other parents who have kids with it as well.

Furthermore, according to Spotrac, Tony Snell has made $52 million dollars in his career.  For playing basketball.  And that doesn’t include any endorsements or sponsorship dollars he might’ve made at various points in his career.  Even assuming that half of that was hoovered up by Uncle Sam, he’s still probably cleared $26M in his lifetime.  Most Americans won’t even see $1M in their lifetimes, and we’re supposed to feel bad that someone who’s cleared probably $26M isn’t going to get free healthcare from the NBA?  As the kids say, (get) the fuck out of here.

I also love the part where other like-minded snarks like me pointed out his wife’s lavish spending habits, showing where most likely the vast majority of his $26M+ fortune has gone throughout the last nine years, and why it’s likely that he’s reliant on premium healthcare in order to get some care for his kids.  I think it’s obvious where the problem really lies, and it’s not the cost of healthcare, it’s not awareness for autism, and it’s not the NBA’s current system that only allows the premium healthcare to those who can clear ten years of service.

Now on to Blake Snell, the pitcher, freshly removed from winning the NL Cy Young, which makes him one of the only pitchers in history to have won both an NL and an AL Cy Young, is still unemployed, even after Spring Training camps have opened across MLB.

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