Tag: food

If my life were different, I would live above a Costco in about two months ago

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Better late than never: ground broken in south Los Angeles for a Costco that will have 800~ apartment units above it

I saw this query on my theFacebook feed about if people were willing to live above a Costco should there be a Costco that had residences above one, and my knee-jerk reaction was pffh, absofuckinglutely I would live above a Costco if my life were different, and I didn’t have a wife and kids.

I could only imagine how much money I’d save if I did, knowing that at any given meal of any given day of any given week of any given year, if I were hungry and didn’t want to think about it, I was a literal hop skip and a jump from going downstairs into Costco, and grabbing a hot dog and soda I probably wouldn’t even drink or swap it for water, for a buck-fifty. 

That’s $4.50+tax a day for a food budget, and extrapolate that of the course of a year, and I’m spending like $7K a year on food.  Sure, undoubtedly I wouldn’t be eating a glizzy and soda for every single meal in a year, but that’s still a tremendous savings from what my general food budget is now in comparison, not even factoring in the kids and everyone else I have to carry.

Or I could alternatively meander downstairs, grab a $5 rotisserie chicken and probably fill up a series of cookbooks of all the different things I would do to the meat in order to mix things up, but that might also jeopardize by $7K annual food budget but maybe not if I’m getting multiple meals out of a $5 chicken.

Or, I could be the ultimate shithead and just wander downstairs, pretend to be shopping but really going around and being one of the degenerates who just wants to snag as many free samples as I could, and try to fill up best on free shit, and call it a meal.

Either way, I really don’t see any drawback at all to living above a Costco, other than maybe automotive traffic issues when at their peak times, unless there’s a separated residential means to get in and out of the complex.  Also, cholesterol, if I planned on having the bulk of my meals being hot dog+soda, but human bodies can adapt, and I’m sure someone like me who has the innate ability to never get sick of things would rewire my body do solder through.

I like how a membership is included with the lease agreement, as if a $79 annual fee is really that huge of a benefit when you’re most likely going to be paying like $2100 a month since it is in the greater Los Angeles area.  It’s the equivalent of when Costcos try to sweeten the membership by throwing in a free chicken.  Small, but amusingly meaningful.

Honestly, when the day comes that I become an empty nester, I wouldn’t turn my back on the idea of living above a Costco.  I think it would be pretty incredible to have that kind of convenience just downstairs, but I guess it really depends on how much the cost of living is get into one of these units, and if these things will ultimately begin to migrate to other parts of the country and world.

But to answer the original query, emphatic yes, I would live in an apartment on top of a Costco, without any hesitation.

Scooby Snacks are obviously a euphemism for crack

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Chalk this up under things you never noticed as a kid but realize when you’re an adult especially a parent reading to your children.  But I’ve been reading my kids stories from 5-Minute Scooby Doo Stories; these 5-minute story books are like the greatest forms of literature that exists for children, because five minutes is about as much of attention span you’re going to get from kids my kids’ ages, and as I’ve been reading them story after story, I can’t help but come to the conclusion that Scooby Snacks have got to be made out of, crack, based on their sheer ability to get Scooby-Doo and Shaggy to do basically anything in the world, no matter how much they initially do not want to.

Hey Scooby and Shaggy, why don’t you guys go into this creepy cave while Fred, Daphne and Velma don’t do shit.  Like, no way man.  What about for a Scooby Snack?  Deal.

Hey Scooby and Shaggy, why don’t you guys go be bait for this creep riding a stampeding buffalo and might trample you to death, while Fred, Daphne and Velma go back to the Mystery Machine to search for clues that obviously won’t be there?  No?  Not even for a Scooby Snack?  Deal.

Hey Scoob and Shaggy . . . you get my point.

Which is that Scooby Snacks are clearly made out of crack, and Fred, Daphne and Velma are some fucked up asshole enablers who repeatedly exploit the addiction of these two poor hapless addicts to do a bunch of things against their will, while they coast and stay out of harm’s way.

All the goons that the Mystery Inc Gang apprehend are minor villains compared to the truly evil diabolical drug lord enablers that Fred, Daphne and Velma are, and pretty messed up how the entire Scooby Doo series is built off of the crack-addled false bravery of Shaggy and his crack-addicted dog.

And this is why it’s not always the best idea for adults to revisit properties of their own childhoods for the sake of their own kids.

Now that’s what I’m talking about

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

ANF: North Carolina man wins $1M from scratcher, has big plans

I’m pretty sure this is the plot to My Name is Earl, where a redneck finds a $20 in the parking lot, parlays it into a scratcher lottery ticket and promptly wins $1M prize.  TBS couldn’t produce something funnier, and they’re the home to All Elite Wrestling.  But congratulations and good on this soon-to-be former master carpenter for pulling off the luck streak of a lifetime.

Makes me think back to when I found a $20 outside the Cheetah; I feel like I should’ve parlayed that stripper $20 into some lottery tickets, instead of adding it to the pot of cash I was saving to get an iPad with, especially since that iPad is long since dead after its screen cracked.

But the best part about this man’s story, and why it’s such a no-brainer to warrant posting about in the brog was pretty obvious, which were his plans upon receiving his payout:

We are going to head straight to Golden Corral and eat everything they’ve got,” Hicks said after claiming his winnings.

It’s a lol quote if there ever was one needed, and I love how the man’s first meal idea after pocketing $425K large is Golden Corral, and he elaborates that he’s going to “eat everything they’ve got,” as if he’s now capable of spending more to get more, at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Forget about China Star Buffet kids, we going to Golden Coral!  Plus y’all get to have your own plates!

I’ve never been to Banner Elk, North Carolina before, but seeing where it is on the map, not that far from the unfortunately recently destroyed Asheville and surrounding Appalachia, I can’t be too surprised to assume that Golden Corral might be the golden standard for dining out options in that region.

Jokes aside, no shade and beef with Golden Corral; like much on this planet, I am not above it, and I in fact freaking love me some Golden Corral when the opportunity strikes, and frankly as much as I wouldn’t kick it out of bed, $425K isn’t necessarily life-changing money as much as it would be a great big windfall to catch up with, so honestly going with Golden Corral as the celebratory meal isn’t the worst option there could be.

Either way, I am a jealous fatty of this man for all of the above; finding a $20 in the gas station parking lot, winning a $1M lottery, and having the opportunity to celebrate with Golden Corral.  I tip my cap to this gentleman, and wish him good fortune in the wars to come; mostly with the IRS and his digestive system after eating everything at Golden Corral.

Happy Trails, Walt that doesn’t suck up all my money

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

AP: Walt Ehmer, CEO of Waffle House, dies at the age of 58

I don’t know anything about this man, Walt Ehmer, but I can say that I am a fan of the company that he ran for the last 22 years, and for that reason alone he has my respects and condolences to hear about his passing.  And like the title of this post says, he’s a Walt that hasn’t been hoovering up my money for the last decade, and has in fact, been saving me money conversely with Waffle House’s reasonable prices for unhealthily satisfying garbage food, to which I give the man even more respect for bringing me pound-for-pound happiness that’s hard to match.

It might seem like this is leaning towards being satirical in nature, but the passing of Waffle House’s CEO really is sad news to hear, not just from the standpoint that all loss of life is usually sad, but because I really am a fan of Waffle House, the brand, the company and the product, so it is sad to hear that they lost their commander-in-chief, at such a relatively young age, at just 58 years.

For many years, Jen and I had a Christmas tradition of going to Waffle House on Christmas Day, because I didn’t really want to go home, and we were as close to as family as we had for each other.  I would get a grand slam and a waffle, and for several of those years, I didn’t yet know that I had an intolerance to eggs, and would suffer the consequences of my breakfast choices later, chalking it up solely to being greasy Waffle House, but it never deterred me nor tarnished my opinions of the food in general, and I really enjoyed all those relaxing Christmas mornings of getting Waffle House with one of my closest friends among the other vagabonds who opted to have chill Christmases too.

Waffle House trips were always on the table after drunken Halloween parties, New Years parties or any other social event that ended in later hours where my friends and I would be buzzed, didn’t want the night to end yet, and greasy hashbrowns and waffles sounded like an incredible idea.  No matter how many other people shared the same sentiment and as crowded as they always were, we were never in a position where we had to get turned away or look for somewhere else to go, because we would always be seated, always be served, and no matter how inebriated I might’ve been in any of those visits, I always treated the staff politely and with respect, because there’s more merit to being a happy drunk than an asshole who starts fights.

Which brings us to the obvious cult classic of Waffle House, the knock-down, drag-em-out, World Star battle royales that have occurred at the restaurants since the inception of the company, and long under the guidance of Walt Ehmer as well.  There’s pretty much no such thing as a Waffle House fight that wasn’t viral, wasn’t entertaining in their own ironic way, and wasn’t memorable in some way, shape or fashion.  The fact that a Waffle House Fight™ occurred pretty much every single week somewhere in the vast network of 1,900+ stores across the east coast, and the company just keeps chugging along goes to show the gritty resilience of the brand and company, that I’m not going to just credit Ehmer for, but he had to have known that they were going on, but frankly if he’s as southern educated as a Georgia Tech Trustee chairman would be, knew that if it wasn’t broke, don’t fix it.

I digress, this isn’t supposed to be waxing poetic about how great Waffle House is, but to pay my respects and bid happy trails to the guy that’s been holding the ship steady for a company that has provided such greatness, so that effect, happy trails, Walt, and let’s hope that whomever succeeds you is as successful at not rocking the boat and keeping things status quo as well as you did.

Damn, the new Chick Fil-A looks like Avengers HQ

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

CFA: Chick Fil-A opens brand new, state-of-the-art restaurant in Bumfuck, Georgia that is two stories, drive-thru only, featuring multiple lanes, including several app-only lanes

My first thought when I saw this brand-new Chick Fil-A was exactly what the title of this post is: damn, this place looks like a baby Avengers HQ.  And frankly, it might as well be, considering the company’s hard reliance on drive-thru service when it comes to their bottom line, it makes sense for them to have a location that’s entirely drive-thru only, featuring the feature that I love best, the app-only lanes for the evolved class of human being that understands how easy, efficient and optimal using Chick Fil-A’s app is when it comes to food service.

What doesn’t really make much sense are CFA locations that have scrapped drive-thru outright, and I think there’s one up in North Druid Hills that does that, and I can’t imagine that their business is nearly as fruitful as those CFA locations that have efficient and reliable drive-thru service, like the ones near my own home that my household tends to go to, at least 2-3 times a month, but that’s neither here nor there for the purpose of this specific post.

However, the one drawback to this Baby Avengers HQ of a Chick Fil-A is that it’s located way the fuck outside of Atlanta, and barely even deserves to be considered metro area in the first place.  McDonough is one of those areas that’s literally like an hour outside of city proper, but because there are enough psychopaths that commute to the city from there, they get to be considered Metro enough to get the occasional nod in morning traffic reports because there’s usually some apocalyptic traffic coming out of I-75 in their location.  Frankly, that’s the only reason why I even know the name of the street it’s on, Jodeco Road.

Needless to say, I can’t see myself making a trip just to experience this location, because they’re not Tim Horton’s, they’re not Buc-ee’s, nor are they Wawa.  Even though I would probably take joy in the expedient manner in which an app-only line could be, it would be the same food that I could get at any of the CFAs that are within 1-2 miles from my own home.

All the same, I hope this location does gangbusters, so that the company can start replacing all the other CFAs throughout the city, as well as all over the country, with these mini Avenger HQs that can show the rest of the fast food world up, on how to optimally run the fast food business.

Suck it, Italy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

That’s just ~a little bit~ racist: after Hong Kong’s Cheung Ka-long’s gold medal victory over Italy’s Filippo Macchi in individual men’s fencing, the Italian Fencing Federation files a complaint with the IOC, accusing the refereeing to be biased because the refs were from Taiwan and South Korea, and had geographical favoritism

Man, not a whole lot to unpack here, but some pretty flagrant racism in the middle of the Olympics going on over here.  Italians crying foul and accusing refs of cooking up some home field advantage is wildly ignorant and racist considering the fencer is from Hong Kong, one ref is from Taiwan and the other ref being Korean.

Sure, there is a degree of Asians supporting Asians from time to time, but usually when it’s something where there are very few Asians present in some sort of contest, like Jeremy Lin in the NBA getting a lot of love and admiration from most Asians regardless of race.  Not the fucking Olympics, where not only are there a whole bunch of Asians present and participating in all sorts of events, they’re all representing their own cultures in neat little conveniently categorized by country.

Like, Taiwan couldn’t give two shits about Hong Kong.  They already exist with tons of beef from the mainland themselves, so they actually have something in common with HK, but a Taiwanese referee isn’t going to put their career on the line and secretly pull for a Hong Konger.  And Koreans couldn’t give even lesser of a fuck about Hong Kong.  As the kids so eloquently say these days, the fuck on out of here, Italy.

While we’re making sweeping generalizations, let’s go ahead and proclaim that there are few countries that whine and act like sore losers than Italy does.  Lose to a Chinaman in fencing?  Obviously racist and biased refereeing.  Angela Carini takes a punch and throws in the towel?  Clearly her opponent was a dude (read: she wasn’t), and drag her entire name and reputation into the mud before being proven wrong.

It’s even worse in futbol, where Italians have demonstrated a laundry list of bad behavior and reactions in the name of defeat, like fans throwing fireworks onto the field, pelting opposing players with dangerous projectiles.  In 2002, the Korean player who headed in the game-winning goal that sent Italy packing in the World Cup who happened to play for an Italian club, was cut almost immediately afterward.

But this recent episode isn’t just sore losing, it’s just straight up racist.  Ignorant, reckless and completely idiotic racism, that I had to stop and actually process just how dumb it was after hearing about it, because I almost couldn’t believe that there were people in positions capable of having direct lines with the IOC, being so juvenile and flagrant with their accusations.

Haven’t Koreans already had enough bullshit already during this Olympics?  Getting announced as the wrong country first was pretty bad, but now getting dragged into this pitiful Italy tirade is pretty bad too.

Props to Pizza Hut HK though, for sticking it to Italian culture by offering up free pineapple on pizza for the next 24 hrs.  I really wish Domino’s in Korea would do the same thing in solidarity and retaliation for Italy’s bullshit.  Kind of makes me want to go out and get some pizza with pineapple on it myself, but I think I’ll have to keep that want in my back pocket for the next time pizza is a possibility.

Thoughts on Cruising with Virgin for the first time

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Mythical wife and I recently went on an adults-only vacation, probably the first one since well, we had children.  Sure, we’ve had a quick jaunt away here or there, but nothing like a four-night cruise on an adults-only line, where we had no real objective other than the pursuit of relaxation and feeling not just like parents.

So let’s get it out of the way now, yes, which meant that we were Virgin virgins, as we had never cruised with Virgin Cruises before.  We’d both heard lots of good things about them, and it seemed as good of an endeavor to embark on before mythical wife has to start preparing for the next school year.

It was kind of weird preparing and embarking on this trip, seeing as how like I’d said, we’d never really had such time away from the kids under these circumstances.  We got to fly somewhere instead of driving because the cost of two adults is way more feasible than flying five humans, where none of them are lap-rider eligible (read: free) anymore, and we had nothing but carry-ons instead of the maximum baggage allowance allowed to travel with.

I got to enjoy a legit Cuban sandwich and coffee in downtown Miami before we departed which is definitely worth mentioning considering how neither seems to be capable of existing outside of Miami and presumably, Cuba itself, but from the very start, Virgin Cruise Line seemed to be a breath of fresh air compared to other experiences we’ve had cruising in the past.

As all sorts of identification, passports, and documentation are logged in advance of travel, we basically show up to port at a general assigned time, and then we’re through in a jiffy with minimal waiting.  There was little feeling like cattle, slowly moving through the pen before we’re on the ship, and we go straight to our stateroom, where a nifty tablet is waiting that controls everything, and fresh canisters of water, as if they know the process of embarkation can be a pain in the ass and it’s important to replenish the hydration of being in South Florida.

Admittedly, I had some concerns and thought that it would temper my enthusiasm when doing some recon prior to the trip, because there were some things about the branding, the presentation and general vibe I was getting, that Virgin Cruises might be a little on the douchey side; I mean, the ice cream joint on ship is literally called “Lick Me til Ice Cream” which is about as cringey to type out as much as it is to see it on a fucking wall (but it didn’t stop us from going there a few times and enjoying some decent quality gelato), and the cruise line’s general importance placed on drinking and partying.

But a lot of those preconceived notions were put to rest pretty early on, and other than like, the temperature of our stateroom, and the occasional clunkiness of the app, I really don’t have anything bad to say about the entire experience, and I can say without hesitation that we had a fantastic experience, and we would without hesitation do it again in the future, which is all but guaranteed, seeing as how we’ve capitalized on their future voyage bait of a large amount of on-board credit for putting a deposit down for a future cruise.

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