When news ≠ reality

January 17, 2024February 16, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

News: Hulk Hogan channels the power of Hulkamania, lifts wrecked car, rescues teenage driver, cures cancer while he’s at it, completely by himself

Reality: Hulk Hogan present at the scene of an accident while most likely his friend more than likely did the actual work of pulling a teenage driver out of a flipped vehicle

You’d think a story like this would get me out of my seat and prepare to strap in and mark out about how amazing and wonderful the power of Hulkamania is and how great Hulk Hogan is, but let’s not kid ourselves anymore. As much as I love the idea of Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania living forever, the guy himself, Terry Bollea is far from a perfect human being in his own right; made no more prevalent then the NYPost giving him the professional athlete treatment, and inserting this snippet into the footer, much like a baseball player’s statistics in any story that has nothing to do with sport:

WWE released Hogan from his contract in 2015 after audio from a sex tape revealed him uttering the n-word and saying he was “racist, to a point.” He apologized for his remarks.“

I’m not sure how any of that has anything to do with being a Good Samaritan and stopping at the scene of an accident, but in the grand spectrum of things, it was still pretty cool of Hulk Hogan to stop and give a degree of assistance, up for interpretation.

I think the funniest thing is that Hogan hogs the tagline, as if he himself did a completely selfless and heroic act, and that he and only he, lifted the vehicle with his 28” pythons and the power of Hulkamania coursing through his veins, and rescued a damsel in distress. Obviously this isn’t necessarily by any fault of Hogan himself, a rag like the Post knows what they have to do in order to draw page views.

I have to imagine the actual reality is more along the lines of his friend, who supposedly is a veteran, along for the ride, sees the accident occur, and his protect instinct kicked in and he wanted to act. And Hogan, always the politician and puppeteer and his (third) wife probably immediately seeing an opportunity to soak up some positive press and get the Hogan name back out into the public eye didn’t hesitate to be on board.

But then you see the few photos of the scene, and it looks pretty clear that Hulk Hogan himself, in an nWo shirt no less, is just kind of standing around and watching. The friend, who looks younger and fitter, probably is the one who did all of the work, but solely by being the celebrity in the scene, Hulk Hogan gets to absorb the lion’s share of the credit for the act of heroism.

I’m not going to shit on the Hulkster any more than this, but it’s just funny how Hogan, whether he’s trying to or not, still somehow manages to always stay relevant in some way shape or fashion, and this is a good example of it. All things considered, it was cool that he stopped at all, because I can’t imagine that most people these days want to get involved, and are more apt to drive off and feign ignorance rather than help out.

New Father Brogging, #014

July 17, 2020August 14, 2020 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s been a few weeks since I wrote one of these, not that I had any real intention of making this a regularly scheduled thing by any stretch of the imagination. But for my own sake of remembrance and for those who want to kind of live life as a new dad with me, I still feel like writing these posts every now and then, so I can one day look back and see where my head was at during this time of my life, as well as hers.

Plus I occasionally fantasize of my daughter one day as an adult, reading my life’s blathering, and if she’s anything like me, getting teary-eyed at dad’s own words back from when she was but a mere infant. But that’s completely contingent on the brog still being online 19-22 years from now, as well as her being remotely interested in what _dad_ has to say about things in life and the world. However, in regards to the former, considering I’ve been brogging for quite literally 20 years, I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch to think I couldn’t keep it up for another 20.

Anyway, to those new dads out there who feel like their worlds are becoming microscopic in the sense that you have absolutely no time to yourself, I can officially vouch for the notion that things to get easier in time. Believe me, I’d gone through my period of feeling like my world was the size of a lima bean and I’d wonder just how long it would be before I could have 30 minutes to myself.

But over the last few weeks, mythical wife and I have been attempting to do some sleep training with our little infant child, and trying our best to establish a general routine of feeding times and naps, to maximize her growth as well as buy us some bits of time throughout the daytime where she’s sleeping and we can do our own things for 30-50 minutes at a time. And honestly, so far, it’s going fairly satisfactory, but knowing my mentality, we may have just jinxed it by acknowledging it, and next thing I know, she’ll be going through some other sleep regression stage, and then I’ll be back to being frustrated and fried all over again.

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Not sure how I feel about a Hulkamania biopic

February 20, 2019August 10, 2020 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Source: Netflix to develop a Hulk Hogan biopic with Chris Hemsworth playing the role of Hulk Hogan

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this. My knee-jerk reaction is “oh fuck no, how dare someone try to profit on my nostalgia??” But when I take the time to read about the details of this project, there are more reasons to feel like it might not be as terrible as I initially would assume it would be.

Namely the fact that Hulk Hogan himself is overseeing the whole thing, and that it’s going to be distributed by Netflix. And Netflix is pretty solid when it comes to creating original content that doesn’t always suck beyond belief; and it’s funny that I hold more stock in the fact that Netflix is helming this over the fact that Hulk Hogan is consulting over his very own biopic as reasoning it might not be terrible. As much as I love the Hulkster, the guy hasn’t always been the bastion of good decision making throughout his career and life.

Don’t get me wrong, my optimism for this is kind of at like a… 40 out of 100, in that I think there’s only a 40% chance that this is going to be any good. Netflix or not, it’s probably going to be a trainwreck all the same, because although Hogan and Netflix are involved with this, it’s worth mentioning that one of the producers in this is still Eric Bischoff.

Look, nothing against the man himself, but as history has shown, combining Hogan and Bischoff has led to a notable amount of failures. They basically tanked two separate wrestling federations when they got together, and who knows how many other business ventures they’ve sabotaged, inadvertent or deliberately. It’s no secret that both could probably benefit from the payday of a Netflix project, but if this is the only reason why they’re doing it, it’s doomed to fail before it even gets off the ground.

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The story just somehow keeps getting better

August 16, 2016July 22, 2020 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

REVA (Reír en voz alta (laugh out loud)): Gawker sold to Univision for $135 million dollars as a result of getting destroyed by Hulk Hogan

lol, Univision. The entity best known for its Spanish-language television and ridiculously hot Hispanic weather girls on their news broadcasts. They’re the ones buying Gawker, a husk of an internet rag once known for shitty, mostly plagiarized content with no regard for people.

It’s like a match made in a South American hell, full of piss, tequila, corn tortillas and coatis. This is mixing Wilfred with a Danny Trejo film.

And all because Gawker just had to fuck with Hulk Hogan. Wrestling might be known to be “fake,” but there’s nothing fake about the power of retribution and good triumphing over evil that Hulkamania embodies. The Iron Sheik, Andre the Giant, Randy Savage, Earthquake, Sgt. Slaughter, Ric Flair and even Vince McMahon. There is nothing in the world that overpower Hulkamania; much less a sleazy internet shit-rag like Gawker.

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This might actually be the end

June 10, 2016July 19, 2020 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

fin: Gawker files for bankruptcy, after jobbing to Hulk Hogan

It’s funny, since this whole debacle began, and the ensuing result of Hulk Hogan doing what Hulk Hogan does best, triumphing over evil, I stated that I don’t think I could ever be disappointed about any news in relation to this subject. But I have to say that I was wrong about that, because I can’t help but feel a modicum of disappointment to hear that the storyline, is actually coming to its conclusion, with Gawker basically throwing in the towel and raising with white flag.

Honestly, I’d have preferred to read about at least four more courtroom battles between the Peter Thiel-powered Hulk Hogan and Gawker lawyers, and read about repeated the jobbing that would inevitably have ensued. It’s not really a surprise, given the fact that money owed to Hulk Hogan was well beyond what was in Gawker’s coffers, but stories like this always have a tendency to drag out longer than they should; maybe they did, and I was just too giddy with enjoyment at seeing a slimy news rag get their comeuppance that it all just felt like a ride ending too soon?

Either way, I’m not surprised to see that this is happening, and the notion that Gawker thinks they will be absolved of paying Hulk Hogan the $140 million dollars they owe him. Sure, a lot of it will be wiped out I imagine, but I also imagine that when Gawker inevitably sells, the Hulkster is going to get something for his troubles still; I know bankruptcy is often seen as something of a shrewd strategic maneuver to the 1%, but I’d like to know that Hulkamania will be getting something from his victory over Gawker.

Anyway, as fun as the ride was, I’m sad to see that it’s actually coming to a close. The aftermath of the trial was pretty entertaining, with the reveal of Peter Thiel’s involvement and agenda, but the end result really isn’t that surprising to me. Gawker goes belly-up, Hogan doesn’t get all the money he’s owed, and someone will inevitably buy Gawker’s remains, because there’s still some value in their name and notoriety itself.

Hopefully, the rest of the world will remember now that even at his old age, nobody should fuck with Hulkamania.