Tag: memes

I mean it might’ve been a coincidence, or it might not have

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I saw this meme about how Hulk Hogan was booed the fuck out of Los Angeles during his cheap appearance at the RAW is Netflix debut, and then the following day began the insane fires that have completely decimated the Palisades, Eaton and Hurst regions of the greater Los Angeles area; confirming that god was in fact, a Hulkamaniac, brother.

I admit that I did smirk upon seeing that, which is also admittedly inappropriate and off-base considering the very real tragedy and horror that the California fires have been wreaking out in LA, but sometimes all we can do at times is just laugh, no matter if it’s appropriate or not.  Life and the world are fucked up like that sometimes.

I’m deliberate in not calling them wildfires, because to me, wildfires imply that they were started by in most cases, a lighting crash that then causes enough sparks to ignite something dry and flammable, and then it blazes out of control.  By definition, something that happened in the wild, naturally. 

The cause of the fires have not been determined yet, but I’m going to say that if it were sunlight magnifying through a littered piece of plastic or a glass bottle that set some makeshift kindling on fire, or what I’m going to guess is more likely some stoners hiding in the hills and discarding a joint or a cigarette butt, then they were not caused in the wild, and more accurately caused by the stupidity of people.  Stupidfire.  Dumbfire.  But I’m not going to wager that it was actually a wildfire that’s caused all this chaos.

All the same, it’s a horrendous tragedy and nightmare that is still not over, and serves to kick the 2025 year off to a terrifying start as one of the big stories of the year.

Getting back to Hulk Hogan though, I get why people booed him.  Sure, some of it has to do with his history of getting caught on tape being racist and dropping N-words, and more likely has to do with his very public political allegiance, cringingly going up on stage during an orange guy rally to cut a promo in support, and ripping his shirt.  Probably both, in most cases.

But fans aren’t as dumb as I like to sometimes embody them as, and when it really comes down to it, I feel like most people have come to their own conclusions that Terry Bollea, the man himself, is just kind of a dude who’s full of shit, and is pretty shameless when it comes to utilizing the Hulk Hogan persona in order to benefit himself optimally.  Like there are plenty of other wrestling personalities who are known Republicans and have donated large sums of money to orange’s plight, but they don’t parade it around like Hogan did.

And I know a lot of people are really trying to do such these days, to carve out of their lives, the people whose political ideologies don’t necessarily mesh with their own, and if I did that, I’d lose one of my best friends, and many in my family, who support party without thinking about it, even if their representative exists entirely counterculture to their very existence.  I often feel like an island when I explain to others that I am willing to accept people who support the alternative, especially when we already have a long positive history behind us.  And if I were to consider professional contacts in the mix, I live in fucking Georgia, if I’d want to keep my job, I’d have no other to be able to tolerate.

That being said, I did find a modicum of amusement of the correlation between Hulk Hogan getting boo’d and then the fires starting in Los Angeles, meaning god might just be a Hulkamaniac.  I’ve met Hulk Hogan before, and he was friendly and gave me knucks for coincidentally wearing a Hulkamania shirt.  I can’t say I’d be nearly as pumped if the opportunity ever arose to meet the guy again, because I do think he’s just this walking meme of a human being with some very large public flaws hanging from him, but at the same time, I wouldn’t treat him like a piece of shit and go out of my way to disrespect the man.

Alright, done writing about Hulk Hogan, preferably for a long time, or at least until he does something else stupid and worthy of busting out a litany of Hulkamania references.

Let’s talk about how much mobile-first development sucks

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This is a topic that has been sitting in my living document of potential writing topics for a while, but never seemed to make it out of the queue, because of well, life.  But the other day, I saw a meme that I’d seen a few times before, but for whatever reason, it bubbled up this topic, and then I found myself in a position and headspace to where I might be able to write about this, finally.

But basically the meme was about how, [paraphrased] my most millennial trait is that large purchases must be done on an actual computer, or whatever equivalent to that general message that exists.  And being a millennial, I wholeheartedly agree, for a myriad of reasons, that large purchases really should be done on an actual computer and not on my phone or any other mobile device that I have.

Flights, vacations, experiences, large expenses, yeah, I don’t want do any of that shit over my phone, because I’ll never fully trust mobile data security as much as I would my own home’s personal wi-fi, not that that’s any better, but it just gives me peace of mind that it is.  Additionally, checking out on my phone leads to all sorts of room for error when pecking in on a mobile keyboard any sort of PII, billing and shipping information, and the last thing I’d want is a critical purchase to fail or bounce, because I entered in something incorrectly on account of being on a little-ass phone.

And then there’s stuff like Rakuten and other shopping plugins that I have installed in my personal computer’s browsers that I don’t have on my mobile devices, that might get me a little bit of cashback here and there; sure, earning 1% back on a $100 purchase might not seem like a lot, but all those nickels and dimes can eventually amount to something in the future, especially if you’re not paying them any attention and they just continue to accumulate quietly.

And finally, I’m old and paranoid, and I like to have records of the things I spend my money on, so I have a penchant to take screen grabs and print to PDF confirmation screens and purchase confirmations, because at some point everyone goes through that paranoia of when a confirmation email doesn’t come immediately, and you’re left wondering if your purchase actually went through, and if you’re actually going to get what you ordered, and that your money wasn’t going to be tossed into the aether, to have to be fought and disputed for in order to retrieve.

So yes, I do believe that big purchases are best done on personal computers, even at the risk of sounding old and dated to a bunch of young shitheads whom I don’t give a fuck what their opinions of me are in the first place.

However the problem is that in this ever-changing and ever-evolving world, is something that I’ve had varying amounts of objection throughout the years, which is mobile-first development – the practice of developing websites and e-commerce platforms that are designed to be optimally used by those on phones and tablets, with the conversely resulting secondary and B-tier performance for those on personal computers.

I’d wager that most people I know have been in situations where they’re trying to do something on the internet, like visit a site, make a purchase or do something at their laptop or their computer, to little success, and then whether it’s themselves or someone within proximity goes “hey, let me try it on my phone,” to where they have instant and easy success – this is a prime example of mobile-first development.

Well anyway, it’s bullshit, and I hate it, that the internet is becoming more and more in favor of mobile-first development, and little by little alienating those people who still use laptops and computers, and gradually phasing out those of us olds who actually like to make purchases of any size on devices that aren’t the same things that we play games on and doom scroll while we’re sitting on the crapper.

Phones are great for making purchases like food orders, or quick rage purchases on Amazon Prime when the store you’re in is out of what you’re looking for.  Tickets, or social media sales platform transactions that aren’t really that big of a deal.  That’s the extent of mobile shopping that I’m interested in.  To each their own, and I’m sure the generations after me are fine with shelling out thousands of dollars worth of travel, electronics and experiences on their phones while sitting in traffic or dicking around on their phone while at work, but my old ass likes the ceremony and ritual of making large impactful purchases from the comfort of my own computer, preferably at home.

Welp, this wasn’t as great of a post as I thought it could’ve been, but whatever.  Mobile-first is bullshit, and it annoys me whenever I identify when companies are obviously putting mobile device commerce at the top of their food chains over all other means of completing transactions.  *coughDELTA

Suck it, MLweeB

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m not too thrilled with the fact that the Dodgers completed their season of destiny and won the World Series, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for Freddie Freeman, who was obviously named the World Series MVP after batting .300 with an OPS of 1.364, four home runs, 12 RBI and the legendary walk-off grand slam in game 1 that basically set the entire tone of the series afterward.

Even though he plays for the Dodgers, the team he left Atlanta for, there’s not a bone in my body that holds any resentment or ill-will for the man, as he’s a first-class outstanding human being, embodies everything that’s good about baseball, and is someone whom requires a genuine effort to not like.  I am stoked that he has now won his second championship, played his butt off to win the WS MVP he easily deserved, and is getting the mainstream accolades and recognition that he deserves.

I just don’t care for the fact that the Dodgers organization are the world champions, because they kind of validated the importance of spending money, as they committed over a billion dollars ($1.185B to be exact)  to just four players, on top of their existing $230M payroll, and being a Braves fan, it’s aggravating to see teams that spend money that succeed, knowing the team I follow will never, ever spend in the same manner, and instead feed us all sorts of bullshit rhetoric and make excuses on why they won’t, despite all the evidence that exists that shows the economic benefit of a championship team.

Plus, the swarms of insufferable bandwagon Dodger fans scuttling out of the cracks and gutters like the cockroaches they are getting to be happy is annoying to me, and makes me make the face of the Friends watching meme whenever I see or hear all the front-running celebratory garbage that comes from them in the news or on social media.  It’s bad when I would rather put up with the devil I know in Yankees fans getting to be happy over Dodgers fans, even in spite of the shenanigans of the two outfield goombas who grabbed and tried pry the ball out of Mookie Betts’ glove among other typical bad Yankee fan behavior.

But most of all, the Dodgers winning the World Series is precisely what MLB wanted to be the outcome, because they’ve gone full weeb-mode this season, what with pushing Ohtanimania down everyone’s throats, and seemingly every popular team there is making a mad dash to acquire Japanese talent, none more than the Dodgers with not just Ohtani, but also Yoshinobu Yamamoto, and they’re all treated like these mystical Mr. Miyagis demonstrating karate for the first time in history based on how every little thing they do is made such a big deal about.

Make no mistake, the season Shohei Ohtani had was other-worldly, but for every game where he had a homer and two steals, Yamamoto goes five innings with three earned runs, and it’s applauded like he just pitched a Maddux.  Shota Imanaga has a low ERA in the first half of the season and people act like he knew how to throw a disappearing pitch, meanwhile the Braves’ Reynaldo Lopez led the league in ERA up until like August, but nobody cared about him because he wasn’t Japanese.

I think my favorite part of the World Series was that in spite of the monumental rocket ship the Ohtani hype train had strapped to it, fans and viewers were treated to a series of futility as he went a pitiful 2 for 19 (.105) in the series, an OPS of .385 and no home runs.  Aaron Judge was absolutely dragged by the media and fans for being ineffective, in comparison to Ohtani, he went 4 for 18 (.222) with an OPS of .836 and one home run.  It’s just that the Yankees as a team stunk it up throughout the series and used Judge as a scapegoat, while Ohtani could easily hide underneath Freddie Freeman’s Superman cape while the team kept on winning.

Which brings us back to Freddie Freeman, whom is the only thing I like about the Dodgers winning the World Series, because a I genuinely like, enjoy and admire, gets to be the focal point and superstar, everyone in Atlanta already knew of, everyone in Los Angeles is probably well aware of now, and probably every baseball fan in the world is aware of now too.

When the lights were the brightest, the stakes were the highest, Ohtani absolutely crumpled under the pressure.  Yamamoto, to his credit did pitch a great game in his one start, but when all was said and done, the World Series was the Freddie Freeman show, and even if it means that the Dodgers are World champions, I am okay with it.

This is Freddie Freeman’s world, and everyone; Ohtani, Yamamoto, the country of Japan, the rest of MLB, are just living in it.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Why no Harvard or Yale??

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Nước chấm: Vietnamese teenager accepted into 14 US colleges, including three Ivy Leagues: Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth

My knee-jerk reaction to this story was to channel my inner high-expectation Asian dad voice and exclaim, why not Harvard or Yale??  Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth might be Ivies, but they’re the Ivies that people have to Google to refresh their awareness that they’re also in the Ivy League, along with Brown.  Asian dads only know Harvard, Yale and Princeton, in that order, and a failure to be accepted into any of those schools, with a full ride is nothing short of colossal disappointment.

But in all seriousness, this is a TRYHARD that gives me a happy feeling.  As an actual dad to half-Asian daughters, it brings me joy to read a story about an Asian girl who can TRYHARD with the best of all the TRYHARDs in the world, and get accepted into a fuckton of American schools.

Amused, I am to see that among the Ivies, she was also accepted into Northwestern, North Carolina, and of course, Georgia Tech.  Perhaps there’s more to Georgia Tech’s academic pedigree than I care to give them credit for, behind my shit-colored glasses that I see them for their athletics first.

What I like about Asian news outlets is that they’re not as shy and mum about talking about money, and as a result, it’s impressive to see that among the acceptances, Dartmouth was also willing to pony up $280K for this TRYHARD’s admittance; according to Google, over four years, that could cover at least tuition, leaving her on the hook probably for just housing, food and books, which means she’ll only be responsible for $80 billion.

But in the true spirit of TRYHARD culture, this girl’s resume is pretty damn deep; a 1560 SAT, multitude of awards, accolades, self-taught English, spoken at a gifted level, and multiple independent study/research projects, as well as being a self-taught musician.  This is the kind of daughter that Asian dads probably dream about.

All the same, glad to see some girls of Asian blood finally get on the board in the game of TRYHARDing.  After keeping tabs on the SZN, there’ve been some patterns that seem a little too obvious, and with Ivy Day in play, it’s nice to see the American dream of DEI finally spreading the wealth a little bit in TRYHARDSZN.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Not Exclusive to America

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Reach for the stars, boy: 12th grader in Hanoi accepted into multiple schools in America, including two of Ivy Leagues

One of the primary differences I noticed about an Asian news outlet reporting a #TRYHARD versus an American one is that they don’t hide the fact that these kids might not be batting 1.000 when it comes to acceptance rates:

received acceptance letters from 11 out of 17 U.S. universities he applied to this admissions season.

So in high-expectation Asian dad logic, boy failed six times, full stop.  Disgrace get out of my house

The only consolation to this colossal failure is that among the schools that he did get accepted into, they were some notable places, like Yale and Cornell, two of the Ivy Leagues, as well as well-known schools like Johns Hopkins and Duke. 

But not Harvard, that was probably one of his six failures.  In fact, all six of those failures were probably the Ivies he didn’t get into.  SMH

The funny thing is that as altruistic as his ambitions are, his resume isn’t nearly as impressive as some other ones I’ve seen this #TRYHARDSZN2024.  Failed to get into six schools, didn’t get a perfect SAT score, 1540/1600, scored a 4 or 5 in all his AP courses, and the kicker, does not have a 4+ GPA.  He’s close, with a 3.95, but this SZN alone we’ve seen numerous kids with like 4.5+ which means this boy is clearly dicking around with his life way too much probably playing League of Legends or watching streamers and not studying instead.

For real though, unlike a lot of these #TRYHARDS this one seems to actually be reaching for the stars and going to Yale, and not necessarily phishing for a free ride somewhere, and going to take what’s going to make the most economic sense, not that there’s anything wrong with that either.

Because unlike a lot of other #TRYHARDS, this one admits that he comes from a privileged family, which answers the question of how he might be able to afford Yale’s alleged $64K yearly tuition which probably doesn’t account for books, boarding, food and discretion.

And that’s the one big divide that separates this #TRYHARD from all others, because this one comes from money, and Vietnam is no America in terms of wealth, but they’re also no Nicaragua either; but that doesn’t stop him from being a #TRYHARD and applying to a boatload of schools that people without as much privilege but not too little and get their application fees waived, cannot afford to.

Sports have too much fucking money, vol. 1,369: feat. the New York Mets

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m not going to pretend like I pay a tremendous amount of attention to baseball news these days, but I know enough of what’s going on to know that the Mets are dumping a tremendous amount of money to try and become a championship contender.  I knew they already had Max Scherzer, and that they were paying him an inordinate amount of money for a guy that effectively plays once every five days, so it was somewhat head-scratching when I heard that the Mets went out and “won” the Justin Verlander sweepstakes, signing him to a 2-year, $86-million dollar contract, I’m thinking damn, the Mets are really locking up $86 mil a year on just two pitchers?  I’m pretty sure the Oakland A’s entire payroll next year isn’t $86 mil.*

*at the time I’m writing this, 11 teams don’t have a payroll that cracks $86 mil including of course, the Oakland A’s

Of course, on paper this has all the pundits thinking the Mets are now the odds-on favorite to win it all, seeing as how they have two of the game’s best pitchers, even if they’re going to be paying them an entire team’s payroll on top of the other 38 guys on the roster they’ll have to pay, including the $54 million to two other players in Francisco Lindor and the freshly re-signed Brandon Nimmo, so if we’re keeping count already, the Mets are paying $140 mil to just four guys for 2023 alone.

[Repeat the title of this post with me here]

They won 101 games in 2022 without Justin Verlander, and if not for an epic, late-season collapse against the Braves, should have won the division, but that still didn’t stop them from choking in the first round against the Padres.  Regardless, the addition of a talent like Justin Verlander theoretically should make a good team like the Mets even better in 2023.

Who knows, maybe the 2023 Mets, in spite of the criticism of their historic $300M+ protected opening day payroll will win 102 games, win the division and avoid having to play in the wild card round and actually have a successful playoff run?

But who are we kidding, this is the New York Mets we’re talking about, they of the LOLMets meme of history.  They could have Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, Clayton Kershaw, Nolan Ryan and Sandy Koufax as their starting five, and they’d still probably find a way to fuck things up and fail, as they always do.  They could spend $500 million dollars and have 4+ WAR players in every position in their lineup, but they’ll still find a way to shit the bed in the playoffs and get bounced by the Cardinals or Padres or Phillies.

And the biggest thing is that teaming Verlander and Scherzer up is no guarantee, because as many casual baseball fans probably might not be aware of, this has already happened before, as both of them were on the Detroit Tigers together between 2010 and 2014.  Five years of Verlander and Scherzer in the same rotation, and zero World Series rings to show for it.  They even had help from guys like David Price and a resurgent Anibal Sanchez in some of those years.  Sure, they made the playoffs four times, but the one time they made it to the World Series together in 2012, they got swept by the vastly less-talented Giants, getting victimized by guys like Pablo Sandoval and Marco Scutaro.

What I think is funny is how just about everyone the Tigers once had all achieved success outside of Detroit.  Max Scherzer got his ring with the Nationals in 2018, Justin Verlander won twice with the Astros in 2017 and this past year, and even David Price got a ring in Boston and Anibal Sanchez was also lights out for that 2018 Nationals playoff team.

So the point is, if a young and spry Scherzer and Verlander couldn’t get the job done ten years ago, Father Time is kind of betting against 40-year old versions of Scherzer and Verlander doing it, especially when they’ll be trying on a team as accursed as the New York Mets.

If me writing about it is a temptation of fate and I end up being completely wrong, hey I’ll be glad to revisit this if I notice and care in the future and admit being wrong, no shame in that.  But if I’m a betting man, I’m siding with Father Time, and going to take the bet against the Mets.  I know you have to spend money to make money, but, and I hate to sound all corporate Braves-ey, but allocating as much money that the Mets are to just two and four players just doesn’t sound what’s best for business.

The tin-foil hat perils of waiting too long

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

mj laughing last dance

I kind of think it’s fake news: Mr. and Mrs. Baked Potato Head test positive for coronavirus

When I woke up in the morning to a text message from mythical wife lol’ing over this news, I also lol’d.  I took my sweet time getting to my computer this morning, because I anticipated most all of my friends were also lol’ing over the internet, and I wanted to dedicate a slice of time in which I could also lol with them, and hope to see a smorgasbord of ironically topical memes.

By the time I opened up my browser, theFacebook and my email, it was everything that I had expected to be, like a conga line of memes, jokes and all sorts of stuff clowning on the baked potato, and the irony that the guy who had spent the better part of the year acting as if coronavirus was a hoax, wasn’t real, was just diagnosed with it.

It truly is the epitome of irony, and couldn’t have happened to a more appropriate person on the entire planet.

I fully intended on writing about such ironies, and I had already picked out some gifs to use with this image, because the hardest thing at that time was deciding on which of the Michael Jordan laughing from The Last Dance gifs was more appropriate for the ensuing post.

But then this shit called ‘work’ kind of took precedence, and in spite of my want to write about the hilarious appropriateness of a clown who denouncing an illness getting it himself.  And as the day progressed, and I began to hear little bits and pieces and the occasional opinions from others, my friends included, most notably all of the potential conspiracies and the obvious revelations that almost no news that has been reported, has actually come from anywhere but the White House itself, leading to tremendous skepticism of its validity, due to the fact that everyone knows just who currently occupies it.

I am obviously no stranger to conspiracy theories, and I enjoy coming up with wild and outlandish theories on my own, but given the track history of this entire presidential term, I can’t help but have this sneaking suspicion that there is entirely the possibility that this is all one elaborate hoax, in order to politicize the whole situation, discredit the media, diminish the reality of the devastation of coronavirus, and turn the tables into some political strategy in order to regain momentum in the upcoming presidential election.

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