Tag: owned

#TRYHARDSZN2025: this one will contribute to our demise, Black Mirror style

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

WWNYTV7onmyside: Massachusetts teen accepted into 88 colleges, amassing over $6M in scholarship dollars

As far as acceptance numbers, I think it’s going to be a hard task for any potential #TRYHARDs to surpass the one chica who cleared like 155 and one in every state.  But what piqued my interest with this #TRYHARD wasn’t the acceptance numbers, but the amount of scholarship dollars he amassed in his 88 acceptances.

For context, Ms. Queen #TRYHARD and her 155 acceptances notched $6M in cumulative offers.  But this kid out of Chicopee, Massachusetts also amassed $6M in scholarships from nearly half of the acceptances.  That’s an average of $68K per scholarship, versus the $38K/per from the Queen of Westlake High.  He doesn’t get to brag about having acceptances from random schools out in Idaho, Wyoming or North Dakota, but it’s evident that schools see more value in this kid over Queen Spray and Pray.

Additionally, aside from Chicopee kid’s ridiculous 4.39 GPA (like I still don’t understand just how much extra work one has to do to blow past a 4.00 GPA so hard) is the fact that this egghead is all into AI and robotics, and is pursuing a future where he can work on AI systems and/or robots.  Considering he’s from the New England area, and among his offers is Boston University, it seems like a very good possibility that he goes to BU, and then gets a job with Boston Dynamics, the company that is making robot dogs and robots that can run, do moonsaults and basically complete Ninja Warrior courses, and then contributes towards the rise of our eventual robot overlords.

Anyway, I got nothing else.  Among his other notable acceptances were UConn, Florida, and Purdue.  No mention of any Ivies, and as impressive as his GPA and his current acceptance haul is, the seeming lack of mention of any other extracurriculars lends to believe that he probably doesn’t have any.

Thus, he is not #TRYHARDing enough, and probably won’t be worth mentioning again the rest of this #SZN.

White Lotus S3 probably fucking with #TRYHARDSZN2025

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Here’s the thing, this article came up in my routine searches for #TRYHARDs to write about, about how Duke’s acceptance rate has hit an all-time low, where only 3.67% of applicants get accepted.  I mean, sports bias and perception bias on account of sports, aside, Duke is a fine educational institution, and the name holds a tremendous amount of weight in the world for those who have gone there, and graduated from the university.

But even outside of the world of sport, the Duke brand holds an abysmal reputation and is generally reviled by pretty much everyone except those people who have gone to Duke, graduated from Duke, or financially supported by someone who went to Duke.  There’s a general reputation that Duke is snooty, white-bred, arrogant, insufferable and all sorts of pejoratives meant to demean Duke, but it never really mattered, because all the people who are pro-Duke exist on some sort of weird island where nobody else seems to matter.

Which is why it seems so appropriate and fitting that Duke has seemingly decided to gatekeep to a new career high, accepting fewer students than they’ve ever done, and I have to feel that such is probably surprising to absolutely nobody at all, considering their general reputation and the political climate that’s emboldened racists to let their bigot flags fly high and proudly.

Why I decided to start a post about it is completely beyond me considering I don’t really have much else to say about the topic, but in all honesty the reason I wanted to, was so I could post a screen grab of White Lotus S3, where the character Timothy Ratliff, played by Jason Isaacs is basically losing his marbles, but every time he goes into one of his suicidal fantasies, he’s always wearing a t-shirt with a huge-ass DUKE wordmark on it.

After the last episode, I remarked to mythical wife that I’m sure Duke is (facetiously) thrilled to see their school’s name on the shirt of a criminal embezzler who is becoming suicidal, and as someone who enjoys seeing Duke fail in any capacity, it brings me great amusement to see it happening in the show.

And the funniest thing is that my hypothesis was proven correct when searching for an adequate screen grab to pair with this post, and Googling “Tim Ratliff White Lo-“ auto fills in the rest of “tim ratliff white lotus duke shirt” and all sorts of articles and spot-on screen caps of Tim Ratliff with a gun to his head with his DUKE shirt on are immediately returned, and there are numerous articles detailing the university’s general displeasure at the show that a Duke man is both a criminal and suicidal.

But yeah, I’m not surprised that Duke’s not happy about it, because the Ratliff family is proudly North Carolinian, and boasts how dad is Duke, mom is UNC, eldest son is Duke, I don’t remember which Piper went to, but how Lochte is still deciding between the two, but it’s clear that those who were Dookies are clearly vapid unhinged white people, with one of them becoming suicidal.  And I love the validation of my off-remark hypothesis.

So at this point, I have no choice but to continue on with making this post, because it succeeds at taking shots at Duke, as well as put over White Lotus as a show, because season 3 has been entertaining and has demonstrated HBO’s ability to get something that isn’t Game of Thrones or Games of Thrones-adjacent in order to anchor down that Sunday at 9 pm time slot.

Man, it’s great to have baseball back

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Ain’t nothing to bring us back to the joys of baseball being back in season than a team trotting out a position player to pitch in a blowout game.  On Opening Day.  Against the Chicago White Sox, fresh off of their historic record-setting 121-loss season.

I know the Braves dropped their season opener out in San Diego, but the Padres are actually a good team, and the Braves could just as easily come back to Atlanta 6-1 or 1-6 seeing as how they have the Padres and Dodgers back-to-back to start the year.

But the Angels, a team whom in spite of having lost Shohei Ohtani, still have Mike Trout finally healthy on the team, and should be better than the Chicago White Sox whom really made no attempt to compete, once again.

It’s going to be a long season for both these teams.  And it’s going to be a long season for the Braves too, because 162 games a season plus potential playoffs means a whole lot of fuckin baseball!

Really though, despite the fact that I have no real intention of watching, well, any games, I’m feeling optimistic about the Braves this season.  As long as they can remain healthy, then I think they have the chance to be a noticeably better squad this year than the one prior where they limped into the playoffs and were bounced unceremoniously.  Despite my general dissatisfaction with their typical Braves-ey lack of movement in the offseason, I do like the acquisition of Jurickson Profar, and although they’re no blockbusters, I like them getting guys like Craig Kimbrel and Alex Verdugo for depth.

Either way, short of some comical fuckups and occurrences, I wouldn’t expect much baseball talk in the brog.  I find that I’m most happiest when I’m not really paying attention to the game these days beyond a cursory glance from time to time.  I still love it, I just have so no time in my life to dedicate to it as I once did, and feel that it’s expendable in the grand spectrum of my day to day.

I still hear about the high level points without any effort, and when the day is over, it’s the dumb silly stuff like position players pitching and other goofy anomalies that I tend to enjoy writing about.

Happy Opening Day!

So many easy jokes about the Mariners repping Nintendo

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

LL: Seattle Mariners agree to wear Nintendo Switch 2 patch for the 2025 MLB season

I don’t care enough to dig deep into the finer details, but Nintendo doesn’t own the Mariners like they once did, but they have enough pull with the baseball organization to ensure that throughout the 2025 baseball season, the Mariners will have a sponsorship patch on their away uniforms for the Nintendo Switch 2.  Their home whites will have a regular old Nintendo word mark logo on those alternatively.

Regardless, the jokes write themselves about a company like Nintendo being the uniform sponsor for a baseball organization like the Mariners, because in more ways than one, they operate in similar manners.  Now such could be as the result of the once ownership and the influence Nintendo clearly still has within the Seattle Mariners organization, or maybe they really are two peas in a pod in how their business philosophies are concerned, but the fact of the matter is that there really is a lot in common between both companies.

Nintendo is notoriously Japanese, as in that they are more than happy to operate in a completely risk-averse, efficient manner that prioritizes a zero-waste mentality.  For example, despite the fact that a billion people on the planet wanted the Wii when it first came out, they were all like ehhhh, let’s make just 20 million units, can’t possibly risk there being some false demand and us being stuck with extra units and being forced to sell at a discount.  And for the next several years, nobody could get their hands on one, and they were selling on the resale market at insane markups, and by the time demand was truly fulfilled, the Wii 2 was knocking on the door, and the process kind of repeated itself. The point is, Nintendo prioritizes efficiency and avoiding all risk over possibly making consumers happy and meeting demand a lot closer in which they operate to this day. 

And the Mariners are kind of the same way, because they just, always kind of suck as an MLB franchise, and no matter how much the market changes, how much talent they luck into from their system, and the availability of free agents throughout the years, the organization just somehow manages to always suck at winning baseball games, and much like Nintendo, letting consumers down by taking no risks, avoiding any possibility of dead money by signing no free agents, and routinely letting their fans down on a yearly basis.

It’s funny, because I actually wrote about the Mariners not too long ago and how it’s pretty incredible how much they’ve sucked historically.  Because this is an organization that has had the likes of Ken Griffey, Jr., Randy Johnson, Ichiro Suzuki, Alex Rodriguez, Edgar Martinez and a prime Robinson Cano, and in some cases, an overlap of some of these talents. Yet they never won anything, beyond the magical 2001 season where they won 116 games, before crashing out unceremoniously in the playoffs to the Yankees.  They rarely saw the playoffs, didn’t do much once they got there, and no matter the talent that has been on the squad, they just, well suck.

Just recently, the Mariners successfully signed their catcher Cal Raleigh, to an insanely team-friendly deal, six years at just $105M.  The guy is an average 4 WAR player, not even hitting his prime, and could easily have been worth double of this, in just a few years.  But he clearly likes something in Seattle and has agreed to stay there, but the real question is if the Nintendo Mariners will actually do something with this centerpiece, or if it will just be more of the same, operating like Nintendo, where they will only produce the absolute bare minimum in order to be relevant, but absolutely nothing more in order to even attempt to be anything but afloat.

It’s really a chicken and egg situation on whether the Seattle Mariners are operating like Nintendo, or if Nintendo is operating like the Seattle Mariners; but if I’m a betting man, I’d say the former, but either way, neither is a particularly enviable position to be in, because jaded video gamers all resent Nintendo for their Nintendo-ey business practices, and Mariners fans all resent the Mariners for simply never really trying, so ultimately, this sponsorship marriage seems to be a very fitting fit for both parties involved.

#TRYHARDSZN2025: Meet the front runner

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yahoo: Westlake High School senior accepted to 155 colleges, with at least one from every single one of the 50 United States, and has accumulated over $6M in scholarship offers

Welp, just when I was thinking about how Westlake High hadn’t produced a #TRYHARD yet, here they come to join the fray, guns ablaze.  It’s like the school itself doesn’t seem to be concerned about absolutely anything other than raising kids to be fixated and obsessed with applying to as many colleges as humanly possible, so that they the kids and the school can insufferably brag about their success rates, and effectively cockblock a metric fuckton of other kids throughout the country who will be inevitably be put on waiting lists while all these attention hounds make their decisions like they think they’re LeBron James.

But yeah, Georgia teen from the seemingly most notorious college application factory in the nation, 155 acceptances, and $6M in cumulative scholarships so far.  Sounds impressive, but when you do the basic average there, we’re looking at $38K per acceptance.  Sure, it’s not a flat $38K being offered by every single acceptance, but the reality is that some of the higher-tiered schools probably haven’t offered anything remotely close to a full ride, and if a full ride is what chica is looking for, she better be prepared to be going to Florida A&M or Howard, and not any of the Power-5 schools she probably got into. 

And let’s not assume she made any of the Ivies, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about #TRYHARD culture, is that if you’ve been accepted into an Ivy, that name is ensured to be mentioned, early in the article no less.

I had a moment when writing about the last few #TRYHARDs about why I’m taking time to pick on these kids, seeing as how they’re really just trying to get a free ride to whatever college is willing to give them one.  But this queen bee #TRYHARD is a reminder of why I started writing about them in the first place, because it feels like they’re doing what they do for all the wrong reasons, prioritizing attention-seeking and the right to brag and boast ahead of actually giving a fuck about their educations when the opportunity to grasp 15 minutes of internet fame is on the line.

I mean seriously, 155 schools is one thing, but it’s very apparent that the real coup de grace here for this chica is simply the ability to say that she got into a school from every single one of the 50 states.  Because I have a hard time believing that any teen from the southside of Atlanta would have any remote interest in attending a school in Wyoming, the Dakotas, Montana or any other flyover state where the mortality rate of black people is probably noticeably lower than it would be in any actual civilized metropolitan area in the country alternatively.  I refuse to believe that there’s actual interest in any schools from any of those remote parts of the country, and that the sole goal was to check off gaining an acceptance in those states.

The University of Alaska, Fairbanks was mentioned as an acceptance, and a quick Google search has them ranked at 635 out of 650 accredited American colleges, so big win there.  Hawaii isn’t mentioned at all, but I’m going to guess that the acceptance from that state is probably along the lines of the University of American Samoa from Better Call Saul, or some other extremely low-difficulty school.

It’s funny when I think about it, because although she got 155 acceptances, I have to wonder how many rejections she got.  That’s one thing that all of these #TRYHARD stories fail to mention, unless they have an abnormally high success rate, and they brag about having gotten into like 50 schools out of 50 applications, but there was no such context here.

And as is often times the case, despite the fact that they might have over 100+ acceptances, in the end, they’re inevitably going to go to some generally low-tier school, mostly because of the fact that the most free-est ride is going to come from there.  And despite the fact that this #TRYHARD wants to become a bigwig pharmacist, her front runner schools are Florida A&M, Howard and THE Ohio State.  There’s nothing wrong with phishing for a free ride, but I do think it sucks for all the kids throughout the country who is put on a waitlist on account of all these attention-seekers just trying to amass acceptances and scholarship dollars.

But anyway, it comes as no surprise that the de facto front runner of #TRYHARDSZN2025 is a kid out of Westlake High, and the bar has been set extremely high now.  It’s going to take some real Ivy League #TRYHARDs to gain some consideration over this one, because 155/$6M is going to be hard to surpass, but it is still extremely early in the #SZN, so never say never.

Imagine being so insecure of your masculinity that you need to get a MANLY BAND

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know what it says about my browsing habits and the conversations that big brother is listening to, but I got this ad for some company called MANLY BANDS and it’s apparent that they’re in the business of making MANLY rings for the MANLIEST of MEN to wear to physically indicate their marital status.

They appear to be available in names like THE COWBOY, and based on the one photo they have, they appear to have wood as one of the materials in which they’re made, looking like a squashed barrel that Donkey Kong sat on instead of throwing at Mario.  Apparently instead of some pussy jeweler’s ring box, they’re packaged in TACTICAL BOXES, because nothing is MANLIER than presenting shit inside of a tactical box instead of something made of lesser, more pussier material.

I love how their logo is crisscrossed fire axes, a campfire and a tree, to hit that this is what a MANLY BAND is made out of, and of course their choice of font is IMPACT, because this whole thing is just so absurdly ridiculous, it may as well be a meme.

Oh, and I’m definitely not going to ignore the very obvious MANLY BAND customer looking like how he’s got his bride in a chokehold in order to kiss her, because he probably sees her as property after saying ‘I do’ and is wasting no time at imposing his will and possession over her.

And come on, bro can’t even take off his fucking Apple watch for his wedding?  I like the convenience of being able to check the time at any given moment, but even I took my fitness tracker off when I got married.

I remember when I was looking for a wedding band before I got married.  I initially thought I wanted something different than a traditional sterling or gold or white gold band, and I imagined myself getting something like a carbon fiber band or something different, not necessarily to be MANLY, but just for a change of things.

I tried on some carbon fiber rings and things that weren’t so traditional, but frankly they all looked too dark and ridiculous for my taste.  Ultimately, I went with a tantalum band that definitely leaned more traditional, but at the same time was slightly darker than a shiny band, and I like the general indestructible nature of it in order to get a degree of uniqueness that I’m satisfied with.

But never did it once cross my mind that there would be the possibility of giving off the perception of becoming less MANLY if I picked a questionable wedding band.  So going back to the title of this post, imagine being so insecure with your masculinity that you feel the need to acquire a MANLY BAND as a wedding ring.  Maybe the aesthetics are more these bros’ style, but for me, anything with wood is a no-go.  Last thing I’d want from my ring is for it to get beat up like mine sometimes does, and then it starts to rot because that’s what wood tends to do.

Either way, chalk MANLY BANDS as one of the dumber things to have come into existence in recent years.  I think I’d put them up with drinking cups made out of baseball bats, but unlike those, I wouldn’t wager a sacrificial bet in order to get the Braves to win a World Series for a MANLY BAND.

I wish airport theory were around 10-15 years ago

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

NYP: dumbasses of today theorize the redundancy of airport policies, makes “challenge” of trying to traverse an airport prior to a flight in as short as time as possible

Honestly, I’ve long since thrown in the towel at trying to rationalize the dumb shit that the people of today do.  Go ahead and call it me getting old, but I’m seldom ever surprised at the things that become trends, so much as I’m always just like “ehh, that’s a thing now?  Fucking ok”

So not only am I not surprised that the trend labeled airport theory is a thing now, I’m more surprised that it’s taken this long for it to have been given a name, because people have been testing airport theory for as long as I’ve been flying, especially in the post-9/11 days where the TSA came to existence and the obnoxious policies that are mostly in place today came to fruition.

People have been testing the boundaries and limits of what they can get away with, with airport policies since 2001, but the only difference really is the existence of TikTok, and the gradually sheep-herder mentalities of the people today who see something and immediately want to mimic it en masse to where it rapidly picks up steam and becomes yet another dumbass trend that’s quick to be labeled a Gen-Z thing, which I don’t always agree with, because I’ve seen people of all ages testing airport theory over the last two decades-plus.

My only real thought is that I really wish airport theory were a thing back 10-15 years ago, when I had a Delta flight pass and could basically hop on any flight to anywhere in the continental United States, as a standby, which I obviously utilized to tremendous effect, contributing towards me crushing a large portion of my 30 MLB baseball park journey.

I always played it smart, monitored conditions and kept abreast of as many variables as I could to optimize my chances at getting on all the flights I wanted to, but I wasn’t without my share of failures too.  I’ve been stuck in places like Seattle, Minneapolis, Portland and failed to get out of Reagan-National countless times, and more times than I can count, I was unable to get out of Atlanta for the start of a trip, regardless of how much things seemed possible beforehand.

If travel theory were a thing 10-15 years ago, my success rate at getting on planes would have likely skyrocketed, because when airlines actually adhere to policy, the dumbasses who are testing airport theory and trying to get from airport entrance to the jetbridge giving themselves 15 minutes would have forfeited their seats eons ago in comparison, and for every idiot that insisted on testing airport theory there were, would be one more standby passenger cleared to board the aircraft.

In fact, some of my worst stories involving standby travel probably involve dorks who were testing airport theory, inadvertently, before it was even coined as being airport theory.  Like me getting cleared to board an aircraft but then being bumped at the eleventh hour and 59th minute because some fuckwit managed to bitch and complain and eke their way to the gate, and reclaim their forfeited seat because the squeaky wheel always gets the grease.

But yeah, if airport theory were a thing 10-15 years ago when I was jetsetting and traveling nearly twice a month, I would’ve not only had a way easier time in traveling, I probably would have traveled more and explored the country if I knew it would be so easy to travel.

The funny thing is, and I don’t care enough about it to look it up, but I’m really curious to see how much of all these airport theory videos are occurring in Atlanta.  If there’s not a lot of evidence of airport theory being tested at ATL, then I can comfortably say that if there was, the trend would undoubtedly come to a screeching halt.  Fewer airports are staffed with as many people who relish and take sadistic, arrogant satisfaction at ruining the days of travelers than Atlanta Hartsfield Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Spaceport and Nail Emporium. 

The irony is that they don’t do it by being incompetent, they do so by being as procedurally bullet proof as possible, adhering to every single bulleted rule there could be in airport, airline, TSA policy, with the express purpose of fucking every single person who tries to skirt protocol, test airport theory and try and get one up on system.

I’d love to see one of these TikTok dorks make a video where they’re like “uhh hey what’s up guys, I’m at ATL, I’ve got 15 minutes to board my Delta flight at T7, and I just got to security” and then it cuts to them having moved up maybe 7-8 people and then they’re like “welp, looks like I missed my flight” or they get to their gate, the doors are closed, and the gate agent is smugly finishing their outbound report, as they calmly tell the camera “sir/ma’am, procedure dictates that you be present at the gate at X time OR we will forfeit your seat” and then airport theory is basically defeated.

Either way, I wish this shit existed 10-15 years ago.  I would’ve thrived as a traveler, getting on more flights at a way higher clip, and seen more of the country before it completely went to shit.