Tag: technology

I like to walk past all the Teslas that use sentry mode

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Something that I’ve enjoyed doing over the last few weeks is that when I’m walking to the office after parking my car, I like to deliberately walk closely past all the Teslas that camp the same EV spots that they’re only supposed to be using for four hours max, all day long, every single work day of the week, and triggering the sentry mode for those of them that have it engaged.

TLDR, sentry mode is kind of what it sounds like – when motion is detected too close to the vehicle, the lights engage, and if you’re in a position to where you can see the screen, an ominous looking red glowing orb like the fucking eye of Sauron appears on the screen to let pleebs know that sentry mode has been activated and presumably the cameras are engaged and sending live video to the owner of the vehicle’s mobile device.

When Teslas were a new hot thing, I get why people might want to keep that on.  Curious pleebs might be getting their grubby paws too close to their Teslas and for lesser pleebs, just the warning of them being monitored might be enough to deter them from lingering around too closely. 

Also applicable if the Tesla happened to live in a suspect and/or hood area, the added security might provide some piece of mind, despite the fact that if someone really wanted to fuck with your ride, they’re going to fuck with your ride and short of being ten or less feet away there’s probably nothing that could be done about it if it happened.

However, despite the fact that I own a Tesla myself, there’s no denying the fact that Teslas are basically a dime a dozen these days.  Low-end Model 3s are about as common as Kia Optimas or Honda Accords these days, and there’s very little special about them.  I kind of prefer it this way, because my mentality has always been not wanting to stand out too much from the pack because little good can come from being too conspicuous in most cases, and with that in mind, I’ve never really felt the need to bother with using sentry mode in my own Tesla.

As for the people at my office, I would say two out of every three Teslas that jockey for the EV spaces in the parking lot have sentry mode active in their rides.  Not that there’s anything wrong with treasuring your rides, but I do beef with the fact that all these Tesla drivers are utilizing the EV parking as unofficial assigned parking spaces, and preventing people whom might actually need to charge their vehicles, the ability to do so. 

Therefore, I feel justified in fucking with them a little bit by regularly walking too close to their rides and triggering their sentry modes, with the hopes that they’re getting pinged on their phones where they frantically check the app just to see the same person “innocuously” walking past their cars, multiple times a day.  Of course what I’m doing is completely harmless, but I like to imagine that their paranoia gets the better of them, and they still check every time it happens, only to see that it’s just little ol’ me, making my way to and from the building.

Perhaps if they weren’t so selfish and insistent on camping the EV spots every single day, I wouldn’t trigger their pleeb detectors, but as long as I recognize the same daily campers, I’m going to make a point to closely walk around their rides and trigger their inherent fears of someone fucking with their whips.

The lights engaging make me feel like Derek Zoolander, walking down the runway.

Year four of forever

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

And just like that, #1 is four years old.

Throughout my own parenting journey, one of the most heard things I’ve been told is to not blink or take any time for granted, because it’ll all be over in the blink of an eye and the kids will be grown and be pains in my ass before I know it, and I’ll wonder where the time went when they were still in diapers and couldn’t do anything for themselves.

Honestly, I think I’ve done a pretty good job of not taking my time for granted, and I’m so often reflecting on the past and I think in this age where everyone has phones and cameras on their phones and it’s fairly possible to chronicle our lives through photographs, that it makes it easier to have a visual reference to reflect with as we can simply just open up our photos app and scroll through time.  That, and the fact that I’ve also been a prodigious brogger for more than half my life at this point, and I’ve always got the means to not only look back in time and reflect, but to also read my very own words to recall specifically where I was throughout the journey of life.

I’ll often times just stop and watch my kids doing the things they do, and marvel at the state they’re in now, as opposed to when they were babies or infants or toddlers, because it’s just incredible watching someone else’s journey through life, through the eyes of a spectator, and of course being their father, I’ve literally seen just about every single day of their lives.

I think it’s safe to say that I’m the first face they see in the morning, about 99% of their lives, I make the vast majority of their meals, and I put a tremendous amount of physical and time effort into my kids regularly.  There are times in which it feels like a lot of work, but I don’t regret any bit of it, and I take a tremendous amount of pride in trying to be the best dad I possibly can be.  There’s nothing I won’t do for my children, and the only thing I really care about at all is being a good dad.

But #1 being four years old, that’s still mind-blowing to process, even though I know the day is coming.  It’s just so hard to fathom that it’s literally been four years since she came into existence five weeks early, right at the on-set of COVID and the (majority) of the entire (intelligent) world shutting themselves into isolation.  Being born so early, she was whisked away into the NICU and stayed there for two weeks, while mythical wife and I had no idea what was really going on with her health, the world, coronavirus and everything else because so much was going on concurrently right then.

Looking at her now, it’s hard to believe she was ever considered an at-risk baby that had to be connected to a heart monitor for the first four months of her life, because within six months, we stopped referring to her as “adjusted age” and never looked back.  She’s a strong, healthy four-year-old that’s ridiculously smart, thoughtful, and brings joy to my life on a daily basis.

She’s fully potty-trained, never has any accidents, knows all her numbers and letters, has demonstrated some rudimentary reading ability, and I have a feeling math will come fairly natural to her, as she’s apparently understanding the processes of basic arithmetic, even if she doesn’t know what the words addition or subtraction mean yet.

She remembers damn near everything, and is so quick to remind me of when she thinks I’ve screwed something up, and seems to be able to recall things from the past now, which shows her budding brain being able to store and recollect memories, and even going to sleep, she always remembers to remind me of what she wanted for breakfast the night before.

Not a day goes by where she and/or her sister isn’t the brightest light of my entire day, whether it’s by making me laugh, something sweet they do or say, or just the happy peace I feel when I watch them doing kid things.  So I’m happy to do whatever it takes to bring happiness to their lives… like taking a cake decorating class, so that I could make my child a triple-layered chocolate cake with buttercream and a dark chocolate drip ganache.  But even if it’s basically pure trash food, it’s also a symbol of growth for my child in that her original severe intolerance to eggs has dissipated over time, and she can at least handle having it in baked goods or cooked into things.

Still not going to give her a straight up omelet or scrambled eggs, but considering I still can’t eat those things without considerable punishment, who knows if she’ll ever fully grow out of it, or be as limited as I am.  Only time will tell, and hopefully there will be many more decades of years to bear witness to what happens next.

Dad Brog (#125): a great idea to help reduce spreading sickness

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was driving home from the pediatrician with #1 having a meltdown, which was a continuation of the meltdown from the process of getting ready to go to the pediatrician just 45 minutes prior, and unsurprisingly, I was feeling pretty sour.  Both my kids are currently sick going into the Thanksgiving holiday, and once again I’m imagining nuclear shits for the parents of the kids that got my kids sick, and annoyed with everyone who tries to tell me that that’s just the way things are and I shouldn’t get so worked up over it.

Today was a follow-up appointment from two days ago, since #1’s sickness seemed a little worse, and she had to not only go on meds obviously, but this time, we were sent home with a nebulizer, because it was that much worse than the ordinary cold this time around.  Thankfully it wasn’t COVID or RSV, but it’s still unknown to why she’s got a wheeze in her chest that kept her from getting much sleep the night prior. 

Either way, I was a bit furrowed in the brow when I was told that it was another $35 copay for the follow-up, but obviously American healthcare is basically the worst ATM in existence, but we were literally there for five minutes in the exam room.  #1’s weight was taken, blood pressure and oxygen levels measured.  A stethoscope to the chest for 90 seconds, and then we were done and out the door; but a follow-up in a week was requested, which means that’ll be another $35 copay for probably another five minutes to tell us that things are continuing on the mend.

So I’m driving home, and I’m thinking how great it would be if the parents who sent the kids who got my kids sick and started this whole debacle would have to be on the hook for the ~$140 in doctor visits and meds that I’ve shelled out, and then it brought me joy imagining if that really were something that were possible: accurate responsibility of spreading families to be held accountable for the expenditures of the families of people they got sick.

I’m sure that would change American attitudes about going into work sick, sending sick kids into schools, and wearing masks in public when things aren’t fully healthy.  Like a parent sends Little Jimmy into school, knowing they’ve got a cough and snotty nose.  And then 10 days later, they get an invoice in the mail saying they’re on the hook for a co-pay and meds for Little Sally, who’s in Little Jimmy’s class and sits next to them in the classroom.  Or Karen goes to Target while she is hacking and sneezing but doesn’t mask.  And then a week later, thanks to facial recognition, they’re identified and sent an invoice for the medical expenses of the rando that was in the aisle with them looking for OTC medication that now has the flu.

Obviously, none of this is really possible due to incubation periods of viruses and the extreme big brother-ing necessary to pinpoint transmission possibilities, but if it were, and people were to be held accountable for their poor decision when it comes to dealing with the sicknesses of themselves or their offspring, I’m sure people would be way quicker to pull the trigger in using that sick time or keeping their kids at home to reduce the possibility of transmission, and society as a whole benefits from the reduction of spreading of nuisance illnesses.

But wouldn’t I feel some consolation satisfaction at knowing that the deadbeat parents that sent their sick kid to school who got my kid sick and brought the plague into my household, had to pay my medical bills.  The thought of it, even as impossible as it may be, would bring me great joy, if it were.

The work trip, fin

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment
I also want to point out that I used AI regenerative fill to AI the people in the background the fuck out of this selfie

So I’m on the red-eye flight back to Atlanta now, and I’m telling myself to write something, before I go into zombie mode and watch Castlevania or the Mandalorian on my iPad, because once I start, I’ll probably until we touch down.

So Adobe MAX is now in the past, and I can say that it was a pretty good trip, overall. Adobe really put on a flashy and fairly informative conference, and from what I could hear from those who have been to prior years, it was run smoother and had fixed a lot of issues. 

Traveling with some work colleagues was enjoyable and I feel like we’ve gotten a little bit of opportunity to get to know each other a little bit better.  The hotel was nice, and I was the tryhard who brought some gym gear and managed to get in two maintenance workouts while out there.

Best of all, it was all covered by work, so all of my food and the airport transport are expensed, and they naturally picked up the tab on the show admission and the hotel.

Despite being there for some work purposes, I still made a point of carving out some me-time, in the form of wandering around the city and eating some abominations of Mexican food that the internet has been teasing me of their existence for the last year.  Of course, they fell into the parameters of my daily food per diem amount, which only sweetened the pot that I could expense things that I would’ve gladly paid for out of pocket to begin with.

First, I tracked down the quesarito-burrito that I first saw on some rando-Instagram reel that was fed to me for some reason despite being all the fuck away in DTLA.  The best part was going in there and explaining that I wanted something that wasn’t on the menu and that it was something I saw on the internet; and I had to show them their own reel to jog their memory, but it was good enough for them to get me the burrito I had been covering for months.

And it was basically everything I hoped it would be, a California-style burrito, but wrapped in a quesarito instead of an ordinary tortilla.  I could’ve finished it, but in doing so, I could’ve really derailed a large part of my trip, plus I was getting the meat sweats something fierce from just how rich it was, or maybe it was the Reaper sauce that added to it or maybe both, so I tapped when I was like 75% finished.

Next, came the trash can nachos that I had heard about, and became enamored with.  Ordinarily, I’d have tried to go there for dinner, but upon learning that being in DTLA, they operated at downtown hours, so I kind of had to pivot and hit them up for lunch instead.

They were located in what google called the fashion district, but seemed like a giant shopping district for quinceñeras or something.  Regardless, it took a little bit of walking around but I found the place in this quirky small food court loaded with nothing but Mexican and Asian foods.  Again, I had to ask for the trash can nachos as they’re not on the menu, and once again I felt like some secret agent or something asking for some illicit.

Ten minutes later, it was brought out to me in what looked like a coffee can.  Just like I had seen on the internet, the can was pulled up, and pouring out onto the plate was a mountain of chips, guacamole, beans, jalapeños, sauces, more chips, more cheese, and carne asada.  Naturally, it was as good as it looked, and much like with the quesarito-burrito, I opted to throw in the towel instead of forcing myself to finish it.

Between the two internet-found foods, I’m hard pressed to decide on what was better.  The quesarito-burrito is a true novelty item, but the nachos had some insane presentation value.  Frankly, nachos really should only be made and served trashcan style, and if I had to really pick one of the two, I think I’m going with the nachos.

But I suppose I should say something about the conference seeing as how it was what brought me out to the left coast in the first place; again, it was a fun show in the sense of production value, and shine and presentation that went into it.

Continue reading “The work trip, fin” →

I wish I were that Kaiju from Pacific Rim

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The one that could generate EMPs.  Not because I want to cripple the electric-powered functionality of my adversaries and those whom I want to put in their places. 

To clarify, I wish I were that Kaiju from Pacific Rim that could generate EMPs, but really small, concentrated ones that I could use to cripple the phones of nearby people, who are doing some dumbass behavior with them, mainly stuff that distracts them from common sense, spatial awareness or just plain inconveniencing people around them, namely me.

I’d love to pop an EMP on the dumbass lady who always seems to be in front of me at the really, really short left turn light, who always seems to be paralyzed by her phone, and by the time she reacts and makes her turn, the light turns red and bones over a line of drivers in which at least 3-4 could’ve made the light with a more vigilant lead car.

I’d love to pop an EMP on the parade of shitters who come into my gym solely to use the bathroom to poop, since they all seem to collectively think it’s their private commode.  It’s worse off when they flush the toilet while I’m in the shower, because despite how modern of a building it is, it still has the dated pipes that make the shower water scalding upon a flush, and since it’s automated, some of the shit-filled choads will get it to flush 2-3 times while I’m trying to wash up after an actual workout.

But then the lady in the car holding up traffic, her car would ultimately fry out, making things worse, and it would be my fault.

But then the clowns of indigestion in my gym bathroom will have the automatic flushers go haywire on them, and then the toilets won’t flush and the locker room will smell like turds, and it would be my fault.

Okay, so let’s be very specific here, I really wish I were the kaiju from Pacific Rim who could generate EMPs, but very, very specific EMPs that affect only cell phones of others.  Because in addition to being an 80ft tall colossal monster that could destroy everything in my path, it would be pretty baller to be able to pinpoint snipe and take out the cell phones of shitheads that are a little too married to their phones.

To make the world a better place, of course.

Let’s talk about Black Mirror S6

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Lately, I’ve been taking a break from doing deliveries and using the time to completely unwind and watch television in my evenings, catching up on several shows that have been on my endless notepad document list of things I want to watch.  Where with every series that I catch up on, three more are added to the list, and it’ll probably never come close to being finished.

Regardless, I’m of the type that doesn’t really like to bounce around too much, and once I get locked into a specific series, I pretty much spend every available minute watching that series if I can help it.  I’m currently going through Better Call Saul (fantastic show, btw), but when I got wind that Black Mirror was going to be dropping season 6 soon, I knew that they were going to be an exception that got to jump the queue and interrupt my nightly binges of Saul Goodman.

The good part about seasons of Black Mirror is that they’re short, so there’s not a tremendous time commitment that needs to go to them.  It’s easy to finish a season in a week, over a binge-y weekend, or for those who have little else in terms of responsibilities, in a night if you’re ambitious.

The bad part about seasons of Black Mirror is that they’re short, and if you’re really enjoying all of the stories, it’s over in the blink of an eye, and just like that you’re back to the same place you were last week; in a world where there’s no upcoming new season of Black Mirror and wondering when it is until the next one.

At five episodes in total, it’s up to quality to determine how good of a season S6 was going to be, and when it comes to Black Mirror, I typically judge them on a three-part criteria, where the overall grade is mostly determined on the aggregate.  I judge each episode on: technology, writing and artistry, where the best episodes excel at all of them, where other episodes throughout the series have been up and down in some but not all.

So with all that in mind, let’s talk about Black Mirror S6, and there will probably be spoilers in this diatribe so be warned for all zero people who read my shit.

Continue reading “Let’s talk about Black Mirror S6” →

Dad Brog (#110): Who knew toddler recitals were like Taylor Swift concerts?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As many parents do, mythical wife and I have enrolled #1 in dance classes, among other extracurricular activities to explore the aptitude and interest of our children to see what they might like.  She definitely seems to enjoy dance, but she’s also just three years old, so it’s way too early to tell what future lies ahead of this pathway, but for all intents and purposes, she’s nearing the completion of her first “year” of dance class.

And of course with dance classes comes an end-of-year recital, and I am looking forward to seeing my little girl up on stage in matching costumes with her peers and seeing just how well (or hilariously bad) she can work in tandem with her class.

All throughout the year, parents are pretty well-informed of everything going on with the program, and as we gear up for recital SZN (they really love to use that phrasing), emails have gone out to remind parents to get ready for ticket registration.  It turns out that the recital isn’t going to be like some local community center or a nearby high school auditorium or something, but they’re renting out an actual university auditorium, and it’ll be capable of seating close to 1,100 people.  Tickets are genuinely at risk of selling out, so we the parents are implored to be ready to register when they’re available at a specific time on a specific date.

Still, I didn’t think much of it, but when I got home, mythical wife explained to me to “be ready,” and that I should probably go get my laptop so that we could log on together.  I’m like, wtf for, isn’t this just a kids’ dance recital?  Why are we preparing for Dragon*Con hotel registration or Comic-Con membership?

I guess being part of moms groups and such have given mythical wife more insight than I have, but apparently getting our dance tickets is a really big deal, and that we should probably be very ready to go once 8pm EST hits.  But I don’t want to miss the opportunity to secure tickets for my daughter’s first recital, so I get ready to go all the same.

Sure enough, by 7:55pm, the website link we’re given to get our tickets from starts being slow to reload, and it’s clear that they’re starting to get bogged down with traffic.  8pm hits, and the button goes live, and it’s a surprising slog to get through.  The seating chart pops up, I enter our code, but I’m noticing that no matter what seats I press, there’s any reaction from the page itself.  I refresh, the site takes forever to repopulate, and the result doesn’t change.

Miraculously, mythical wife is able to get through, and secure four tickets.  However one is out of sequence, and all in all, we need five.  We solder back to the site to try and get the fifth ticket, hopefully in our row, but the site is completely borked.  I refresh and refresh, and get different results of what shows up on the page.  I get sent back to a landing and see to check back ten days later at 8 pm.  Then to check back at 9pm later tonight.  And then eventually, a crash on the page outright, and it doesn’t look like we’re going to get that fifth ticket.

Now I didn’t try and get Taylor Swift tickets when they went on sale, but I imagine it was just like what I was going through.  It’s apparent that the dance company entrusted their ticket distribution to a company that might as well have been Ticketmaster for as poorly as they go overwhelmed by a bunch of local parents who just wanted to get tickets to see their kids dance.

In all honesty, I’ve had better luck securing hotel rooms for Dragon*Con than I did trying to get tickets for my daughter’s dance recital.  I’ve never failed to get a room whenever I’ve tried, but in my first try to get dance recital tickets, I get shutout.

Apparently, this is the norm for this particular dance company, and if my kid(s) end up liking it and sticking it with the foreseeable future, I suppose I should get ready to get owned again and again for years to come.