Tag: truck spill

So, like maybe 350 lobsters stolen?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

FOX local: an estimated $400k worth of live lobsters headed for Costco locations in the Midwest hijacked

A few years ago, I made a joke when there was a story about how a truck full of ramen noodles was heisted, how all in all, maybe $4.79 wholesale cost worth of product was actually lost.  That the physical truck must have been the size of the Venezuelan land train that was transporting gasoline in the fourth Fast & Furious installment in order for it to amount to the reported cost of theft.  That the thieves could probably make way more money on the scrap cost of the truck as opposed to black marketing ramen noodles.

Well, this is kind of the polar opposite of that joke, with a reported $400k worth of live lobsters getting stolen on the way to Costco stores.  Where given the cost of inflation and white man greed, there were maybe like 350 live lobsters actually stolen, even factoring in the fact that they were headed to bulk bargain land Costco.  I also like how they say locations, as in plural, in Illinois and Minnesota as if they’re trying to convince people that $400k worth of lobsters is more than perhaps two whole stores’ worth of inventory.

I also like how the article uses the word hijacked, because when I hear the term, I think of the scenes from Fast & Furious where a team of Vin Diesel’s street racers in slammed Honda Civics corner semis and use grappling hooks and daredevil jumps to subdue, incapacitate and eject truck drivers before making off with their cargo.

Because instead of a land train getting hijacked, the more likely reality is it was probably like a singular Ford F-350 that was just boosted from a roadside motel’s parking lot, where the thieves had no idea that they booty they were plundering were even lobsters.  The driver was probably safely sleeping in a shitty bed with cigarette burns in the comforter.  And in this case, the inventory is definitely more expensive than the vessel, and I can’t make the remark about how the truck would yield more in scrap than the cargo.

I don’t imagine live crustaceans having a very high black market value, considering the pain in the ass it is to prepare them, well, but in the grand spectrum of things, it’ll suck for those two stores in the Midwest for those rich assholes who want Costco-priced lobsters and won’t be able to get any for a month until the next shipment can arrive, and even then, the cost will inevitably go up for all stores, since Costco is the type of company that probably wouldn’t want a single region to shoulder the brunt of the increase when all can instead.

Even with the FBI purportedly being on the case, I would wager that this is one of those news stories where nothing is going to be resolved, nobody is going to get caught and it’s just going to be forgotten except in the annals of a personal brog that nobody knows exists.  I doubt that this is really so much a high-stakes organization arranging these kinds of heists as much as it’s some petty crooks with some theft skills playing burglary roulette and just hitting a mini jackpot in hitting up a ride with 350 lobsters in it.

But we got lobsters, highway hijinks, and the opportunity to make repeated Fast & Furious references, so it’s the perfect story for me to brog about. 

Phelps County probably smells delicious right now

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The Hill: tractor trailer carrying 40,000 lbs. of ribeye steaks catches fire on I-74 in Missouri

Normally, I don’t bother writing about trucks full of food stuffs catching fire or overturning unless they happen in Georgia, but every now and then there are a few examples that pique my interest to the point where I can turn the clock back and write about truck carnage at the expense of delicious foods.

But headlines talking about a truck full of steaks catching fire got my attention, and specifically the fact that they weren’t just any old run of the mill steaks, but forty thousand pounds of ribeye steaks specifically that caught my attention.

The devil is in the details.

Sure, there is a time and place for every cut of steak, and sometimes I’ve just been in the mood for a good New York strip, sometimes a big ass porterhouse.  Sometimes just the filet is sufficient, if I want to luxuriate in all the other sides and courses.  But for the most part, there’s seldom a time when a good ribeye isn’t a viable option for a steak, and learning of this truck disaster where several tons of ribeye steaks went up in flames definitely got my big back attention.

Naturally, I’m long past the first person to probably make the joke about how delicious I-74 in Missouri must smell at the idea of all this succulent beef going up in flames, but it’s probably not wrong.  The whole region with a multiple mile radius probably smells like an incredible barbecue is going on, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Missouri is that the state knows how to barbecue, apparently even on the physical highways itself.

However, I do have to question the quality of the steaks, if they’re in a parcel of 40,000 lbs of other ribeyes.  I have to imagine that they were probably of the frozen variety to begin with, and probably nowhere near high-end restaurant quality cuts that most people fantasize about when they’re thinking about a good steak.  As I said, the devil is in the details, and I’d be curious to know if these were like Dollar General hockey puck steaks, or if they were closer to like Outback Steakhouse steaks.  That’s the intel that separates a ho-hum run of the mill truck disaster from one that people talk about for years to come.

Either way, congrats to Missouri for having a truck catastrophe that sounded so grand and probably smelled so good, to where it warranted words to be spouted on my little slice of the internet.

When a punny headline gives you no choice

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

NO CHOICE: Truck carrying truckload full of cans of nacho cheese spills all over I-30 in Arkansas; news outlets all over quick to bust out headline of “worst queso scenario”

Normally, no matter how tempting it is, I tend to resist glorifying truck spills from places outside of Georgia.  If it didn’t happen on a Georgia road, it doesn’t warrant mention on the brog, although I know I’ve done it a few times with the truly exceptional wrecks.

But when I caught wind of this particular crash in Arkansas, where the reporters couldn’t wait as if they were sitting on this headline, waiting for some cheese-related malady to eventually emerge, and then they all collectively bust out WORST QUESO SCENARIO and you know they were all throwing high fives and doing celebratory fist pumps after hitting publish, I just couldn’t sit on my hands and let this go without mention on the brog.

Talk about amusing this one is, with nacho cheese spilling all over a highway.  Although the likelihood of there being any collateral damage from this, because typically a truck overturning probably doesn’t have a tremendous amount of people thinking they can zip past it like they’re Dominic Toretto after the point of wreckage, but I like to imagine that if there were cars who were unfortunate enough to get caught in the wreckage, there would be a bunch of cars spinning out of control like in Mario Kart when you hit an oil slick.

Complete with the sound effects of getting slick’d.  But hey, better to spin out to a stop than to slide perilously into a costly and dangerous wreck.

Either way, entertaining and amusing is, a truck full of nacho cheese spilling all over the highways.  Even better knowing that nobody was hurt, so I guess it really wasn’t the worst queso scenario after all, but heaven forbid missing an opportunity to bust out that tagline, even if it’s not entirely accurate.

Too bad this wasn’t a Waffle House market

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Mmm… sweet, savory butter: “River of butter” flows through Wisconsin town after fire rips through dairy plant

Although this wasn’t in Georgia, or any of its adjacent interstates, or even on a road at all, I still felt compelled by this news story, because I don’t know why, I’m always so fascinated when large quantities of food are spilled/strewn/exploded all over the place.  There’s just something so carnal, so chaotic and fantastical about the idea of food being wasted in such a horrifically tragic manner, especially considering the state of the planet and how there are so many more mouths to feed than food being produced.  It’s like vicariously being involved in a food fight, but without having to feel the guilt of wasting food myself or being responsible for any of the actions of it.

Either way, it’s the descriptions and imagery of this story that were fascinating and prompted a post in the first place.  I can only imagine being a resident of this small Wisconsin town, walking or driving down the street, but then there’s this giant stream of yellowish-white flowing down towards me, and not having any clue in the world what it is.  And when it’s inevitable to step or drive in it and realizing that it’s slippery as hell, knowing its butter, and being mortified at the thought of just how much butter had to have been incinerated to have ended up with such a tragic flow.

My first thought was that it must have smelled amazing, with all the butter in the dairy plant getting melted, and that there were probably dogs and fat humans going apeshit over the delicious savory scene that had to have been all over the air, but EPA and hazmat people kind of ruin the fun by stating that such events typically conclude with the stinkiness of dairy going rancid in the wild.

The visuals of the whole situation are what was really the most intriguing though.  A canal getting coated in melted butter is pretty incredible to see.  Sure, it’s a colossal mess, but I’d have to guess that they really just needed the stuff to settle and harden on top, and it should be somewhat manageable to remove it afterward, and in fact probably help clean the water somewhat by all the crap the butter can capture on the surface that will be disposed of with it once it is cleaned.

But going back to the introductory joke, had this been in a Waffle House market and not way the fuck up north in Wisconsin, Waffle House could have totally come to the rescue and sent 2-3 griddle masters to the streets and cooked maybe 10-12 All-Star Breakfasts with the ton of melted butter, so that it wouldn’t have to go to waste.  It’s not like regular Waffle House customers wouldn’t be used to dirt, debris and cigarette butts mixed in with their food in the first place.

Welp, it’s been a while

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Ordinary news: massive accident on I-285 shuts down the entire interstate for 10 hours.  Brog news: tractor trailer involved in the crash was carrying beer

As the subject line reads, it’s been a while since I came across a story about a truck crash on Georgia’s highways.  Obviously I live under a rock and don’t really keep my eyes peeled for these, and in all fairness, it was mythical wife who came across it, and it didn’t really pique my interest until the mention about the part where the tractor trailer that was involved in this whole fracas, was carrying beer.

Not that it really matters anymore, because I’m long past the days of where I had intrinsically remembered every type of consumable that had spilled onto Georgia highways, but still, it’s always a tickle to go back in time a little bit to find some inspiration to write on account of booze spilling all over the roads.

The thing is, where this crash occurred, at Ashford-Dunwoody on I-285, this is probably one of the most infamous exits in the state.  Not only is the specific spot a logistical disaster nightmare zone, because it’s close to where GA-400 intersects and that’s a state route that will never seemingly get its shit together or never not be tampered with at any given point in time, for whatever reason, shit just keeps happening here.  Most notably, a few years ago, it’s where an armored truck carrying like $385,000 or some large sum of cash, the doors just popped open and people were basically getting out of their cars in the middle of traffic to try and snatch as much cash as they could, regardless of how illegal it was to do so.

The details of this entire thing are what was the most compelling thing about it, regardless of the presence of beer.  The fire apparently raged so hot, that it created all sorts of structural concerns of the asphalt as well as the integrity of the bridge that it occurred under.  Obviously, it hasn’t been that long since Atlanta was the laughing stock of the country again, for the whole I-85 bridge collapse, and I’m sure GADOT was having flashback and PTSD about the risk of something like that happening again, so they clearly erred on the side of caution when they shut down the highway to assess the damage, lest the bridge over I-285 collapsed, taking out a pretty substantial surface street vein.

All things considered, it was no Japan fixing a lake-sized sinkhole in 7 days impressive, but the fact that GADOT was actually able to get I-285 up and running again in 7 hours is still substantial and for ‘Murican standards, pretty impressive.

No better way to start the new year

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Than with a Pepsi truck crashing on 285, dumping its contents all over the place and tying up traffic for hours.  This wreck actually impacted my commute this morning too, but I’m an early riser and somehow managed to avoid the worst of it; I figured it was just the whole world returning to work at the same time causing logjams.

Frankly, this wreck couldn’t really have been in a worse place at a worse time, considering it happened right at the 285/75 interchange, during the morning rush.  From what vague details there are, it sounds like the driver fell asleep at the wheel and veered off the road; they’re banged up, but fortunately still alive, but it leads me to wonder that this particular trucking company must not be one of those that employs a co-driver, which specifically is meant to prevent incidents like this from possibly occurring.

But whatever, it’s Pepsi, and Pepsi is second-rate, especially here in the land of Coke.  In almost a prideful way, it’s entertaining to see the visuals of a wrecked-up Pepsi truck, as if Pepsi done fucked up and came to the wrong neighborhood and immediately paid for it.  As if they knew that they were in hostile territory, tried to circumvent the city by taking 285, but were too late, and blown off the road barely after getting onto the bypass.

What’s interesting to me is that of the photos I’ve seen, the vast majority of the spilled cargo appears to be Dr. Pepper.  So it’s pretty clear that this is a truck that had no intention of really unloading here, because in Georgia, Dr. Pepper is a Coke product, showing up at all fountains and Freestyles under the Coke umbrella.  It also puts me in a conflicted position, because although it’s fun to dunk on Pepsi, I have no qualms with Dr. Pepper.  So it’s kind of sad to see large portions of Dr. Pepper go down the drain, but fuck them for being in a Pepsi truck.

Either way, this marks the first post of 2020, and in spite of the sentiments of new years and new beginnings, it’s pretty much business as usual at the brog.  Glorifying dumb shit like truck crashes and the hypocrisy of Georgia and other shitheads, that is when I’m not talking about professional wrestling, baseball players getting owned, or TLC programming.

Happy New Year!

O how costly the losses

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was just thinking how I hadn’t written anything for a minute; my professional and personal lives have a tendency to get a little crowded at times, and sometimes I can’t find even five minutes for myself to just decompress and relax, much less take the time to write, no matter how important the act is to me.

But I didn’t really have to stretch real far in order to find any inspiration to write; sometimes the world just simply provides.  It’s been a while since I’d found one of these types of stories, but it doesn’t inspire me any less whenever one emerges to the forefront.

Out in McDonough, Georgia, a train collided with a cargo truck, obliterating it, and scattering its contents as far as a quarter mile.  And because it wouldn’t warrant entry into the brog without certain conditions, the truck wasn’t just any truck, but a beer truck, and the contents that were scattered as far as a quarter mile were cases and kegs of beer.

However, I would use the term “beer” loosely, because it was a MillerCoors truck, so the vast majority of the product lost was Miller Lite, along with some Old Style and Redd’s cider.  That being said, I would have to estimate that the cost of the lost product amounted to around $78, with at least $50 of it being the cost of the Redd’s, since cider is often considered a specialty beverage.

One thing the article does not mention that I’m very curious about, is that a quarter mile is a pretty long distance, when it comes to surface area for scattered cargo to go clattering around on.  As is often the case whenever it comes to shit being liberated from their confinement on the roads of America, this often times results in people who happen to be fortunate enough to be in the vicinity when shit goes free, to spontaneously turn into greedy looters who spring into action and try to get away with as much free shit as they possibly can, when pandemonium strikes.

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