Who needs Vegas when you can just go to Kroger?

I wish I had the imagination to make this shit up: South Fulton Kroger under scrutiny for basically opening a slot machine area inside of the store

I don’t even know where to begin with this.  It’s like a hungry lion jumping into a herd of gazelle but there are so many intriguing options that it’s hard to focus on just one, and they all get away and they go hungry, but in this case I don’t know what angle to start blabbing on about and this post is going to (already) turn into shit.

It’s funny though; I like Kroger as a company.  They used to be 24 hr. mostly until the pandemic so it was convenient to go whenever, and the bottom line was always that my dollars always stretched a little further at Kroger than say, Publix.  But ask anyone I know around here, and the general consensus is that Publix is a preferable grocer, because it feels cleaner and safer and more upscale in general, none of which I necessarily disagree with, but when I’m trying to stretch dollars, Kroger is still superior in that regard.

Granted, I still do the majority of my shopping at Publix, because there are literally two of them equidistant from my home and closer than the nearest Kroger and for daily needs and quick gets, time is money and distance wins out, but sometimes when I know I need to make a big trip, I’ll go out of my way and hit up Kroger, because at least where I am, they’re not as scuzzy as say, the ones in South Fulton are, which I am all too familiar with, seeing as how I lived there for 13 years.

But over the last few years, Kroger hasn’t done themselves any favors in the public eye, especially that of the one that resides over the Metro Atlanta area.  I mean, prior to getting hit with the Gentrification Bomb, we had Murder Kroger in the middle of the city, where at least three murders had occurred.  Then we had the Kroger in College Park that was accused of being racist for implementing a series of security vestibules that basically enclosed shoppers inside aisles to help deter theft.

And now we have a Kroger in South Fulton County that for some reason, has decided to put a miniature slot casino inside their store.  Prizes are not monetary, but they’re still slot machines all the same.  Like, my knee-jerk reaction is just to laugh at the sheer absurdity of such a wild idea, and just how flagrantly targeted it is at feeding into racial stereotypes and not even trying to hide it.

Like really, what the fuck business do slot machines have inside of a grocery store?  Even Las Vegas has steered away from the days of having rando slot machines in every gas station, CVS and restaurant, and you can go into a Smith’s or an Albertsons to get just your groceries and not be tempted to dump the remainder of your paycheck in some crappy Wild Cherry or Double Diamond machine.

But not this Kroger, who set up a loosely partitioned-off area with a few slot machines and some sad stools for people to really post up and get comfortable for a wallet-draining slot session.  And it’s at the front of the store, where it’s easy for people to come inside with the sole express of gambling away their money, instead of like Costco where they make you march all the way to the back of the store in order to get a $5 rotisserie chicken. 

Kroger Casino’s spot is where you’d see some other Kroger or Kroger-affiliated stores set up like a Subway, a Starbucks, or like eye glass repair or a tax prep kiosk; random conveniences meant to make you want to spend a little more time in the store to sway you to shop more on actual profit-making products.  But instead, it’s just a literal hole in the wall guarded solely by some portable plexiglass partitions with a sign on it that states one must be 18+ in order to play.

I’ve been to Krogers in the hood; maybe not this specific one, but I’ve been to some rough Krogers in South Fulton.  Usually against my better judgment, but the desire to save a buck or two, or sometimes they’re just conveniently on my route.  I don’t think for a minute that by the time I post this, there probably have already been at least 100 minors who have meandered into this section of the store without repercussion and drained at least $2,000 by now.  The store is definitely not going to spring extra for some fat slob with a fake badge and can of pepper spray to run security for this section, and it’s clear that the intent of Kroger is knowing that they will help create young gambling addicts, and by being in existence, help pad their own bottom lines at the expense of the poor and vulnerable.

As sad as this all is, and the painfully obvious message that it’s sending, all I can do is laugh about it.  It’s fucked up, but I still find it absolutely hilarious.  Kroger is in the making money businesses, and there clearly no moral or ethical boundaries in place if they have an idea that can make them some, and they’re absolutely not at all concerned over the optics of choosing stores in the hood of hoods to pilot such an idea out.

Next thing we know, there will be some form of legalized prostitution brought to you by Kroger, where customers can walk up to a different loosely partitioned section of the store, scan your Kroger Plus Card, and then chat with some store employee in a blue Kroger polo shirt about wanting to get 30 minutes with Kayla, before going into a makeshift brothel like in Taken to get your jollies off.

And of course, this would pilot in Forest Park, or Covington, Georgia, because the seedier the idea, the deeper into the hood they need to be piloted in.  Fresh for everyone!™

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Why no Harvard or Yale??

Nước chấm: Vietnamese teenager accepted into 14 US colleges, including three Ivy Leagues: Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth

My knee-jerk reaction to this story was to channel my inner high-expectation Asian dad voice and exclaim, why not Harvard or Yale??  Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth might be Ivies, but they’re the Ivies that people have to Google to refresh their awareness that they’re also in the Ivy League, along with Brown.  Asian dads only know Harvard, Yale and Princeton, in that order, and a failure to be accepted into any of those schools, with a full ride is nothing short of colossal disappointment.

But in all seriousness, this is a TRYHARD that gives me a happy feeling.  As an actual dad to half-Asian daughters, it brings me joy to read a story about an Asian girl who can TRYHARD with the best of all the TRYHARDs in the world, and get accepted into a fuckton of American schools.

Amused, I am to see that among the Ivies, she was also accepted into Northwestern, North Carolina, and of course, Georgia Tech.  Perhaps there’s more to Georgia Tech’s academic pedigree than I care to give them credit for, behind my shit-colored glasses that I see them for their athletics first.

What I like about Asian news outlets is that they’re not as shy and mum about talking about money, and as a result, it’s impressive to see that among the acceptances, Dartmouth was also willing to pony up $280K for this TRYHARD’s admittance; according to Google, over four years, that could cover at least tuition, leaving her on the hook probably for just housing, food and books, which means she’ll only be responsible for $80 billion.

But in the true spirit of TRYHARD culture, this girl’s resume is pretty damn deep; a 1560 SAT, multitude of awards, accolades, self-taught English, spoken at a gifted level, and multiple independent study/research projects, as well as being a self-taught musician.  This is the kind of daughter that Asian dads probably dream about.

All the same, glad to see some girls of Asian blood finally get on the board in the game of TRYHARDing.  After keeping tabs on the SZN, there’ve been some patterns that seem a little too obvious, and with Ivy Day in play, it’s nice to see the American dream of DEI finally spreading the wealth a little bit in TRYHARDSZN.

A work story that made me happy

Today, I used the above wrestling gif in a work group chat thread, and it was 100% topical and relevant to the conversation that we were having.

I can’t remember the last time I felt more satisfied in my professional life.

Shoutout to the company for not putting a purchase limit on an on-sale item and not anticipating that an ambitious customer would literally purchase 600 of them and completely derail an entire promotion. 

We’ve already found their eBay listing, re-selling them at a profitable price point, but there’s nothing the company can do about it, except marvel at one man’s entrepreneurial spirit.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: No better way to celebrate Ivy Day success with McD’s

McSauce: Connecticut teenager accepted into three Ivy League schools, among “other prestigious colleges”

Honestly, the most astounding thing about this story is that this is the first #TRYHARD that I’ve come across that isn’t just white, but is also a white female.  This isn’t meant to be a sexist remark, but for whatever reason, there doesn’t seem to be many stories come TRYHARDSZN that involve white people in general, much less white females.

I guess considering the demographics of the majority of TRYHARDs, we’re hitting a saturation point where suddenly white people are becoming the minority, especially when it comes to acceptances into Ivy League schools.

It’s no more prevalent than when the article tries to extol all the qualifications of why the TRYHARD deserves to get into an egregious amount of schools, there’s practically nothing.  Vague on extracurriculars, no dropping names of activities she’s done, no SAT scores, no GPA listed, and the only tangible thing mentioned are the 11 AP classes she took, which honestly is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to any high schooler wanting to go to college these days.

When it comes the deluge of college applications Ivy League schools receive every applicationSZN, they’re probably all minorities; mostly Asians, no less.  I bet they have people combing through all the applications and looking for obvious Hispanic and black applicants to meet their quotas, and at some point they realize just how few white applicants they’re getting, and start filtering for them in a panic, so they can be true to their claim for having diverse student bodies and populations.

Regardless, I like how this TRYHARD was waiting to get food at McDonald’s when she found out she had been accepted into Harvard, Yale and Columbia.  In various places in America are some really salty Asian parents whose kids with 1500+ SATs, 4.5 GPAs and Honda Odysseys full of extracurriculars and electives whose kids won’t be getting into Harvard or Yale.

I wonder if she proceeded to get her more than likely 10 pc. McBoots and fries after finding out she was accepted into these schools, or if the excitement of acceptance made her forget about her appetite?  If the former, her digestive system probably thanks her, but if not, she and her sister were undoubtedly celebrating her good news with a healthy game of Battle Shits; I hear it’s a popular game amongst white girls at Ivy League schools.

Oh the sweet irony

lol’d heartily: Joel Embiid expresses disappointment at Knicks fans taking over the Sixers’ Wells Fargo Center during the Knicks’ playoff win

Fewer things in sports are as awe-inspiring as a stadium takeover.  It’s nigh impossible to get sports fans to ever come together and be in complete solidarity at home, much less take the act on the road, but there have been instances throughout the history of sport where the planets align, the stars are in the right position and people manage to get on the same page, and embark on taking over stadiums, be it their own, and even more rarely, someone else’s.

Once there was a year where the Braves were not good and the visiting Chicago Cubs were having a strong season.  I remember watching the game on television, and noticing that the crowd was particularly hot that night, where the usually apathetic Atlanta fans were cheering for every single and strikeout, and there was a lot of booing whenever the Cubs did anything good for themselves.  But reality came catching up and eventually the Cubs took the lead and cruised to a relatively easy victory, but not before chasing off Braves fans, basically taking over Turner Field, and I remember seeing one shot of a large group of fans in the nosebleeds unfurling a banner that said “Wrigley South.”

It was fucking embarrassing.

There was a stretch where the Pittsburgh Penguins systematically eliminated the Washington Capitals from the NHL playoffs for 800 years in a row.  The greatest player in the history of the game since Gretzky, Alexander Ovechkin for whatever reason, couldn’t lead a DC team over the Penguins, and there was one specific year where Penguins fans trekked down to DC and really rub it into the face of Caps fans, and although they didn’t take over the USAir MCI Verizon Whatever the fuck they call it Arena now, they definitely didn’t make haste in getting out of town after the Penguins eliminated the Caps yet again.

Partying in the streets, congregating all over DC’s numerous landmarks in Penguins gear, basically marking their territory all over the city; it was fucking embarrassing.

The poor Baltimore Orioles, there was a stretch where they were woefully bad year in and year out, and eventually word got out to just about every team off of I-95, and Camden Yards was invaded countless times.  The Phillies, Yankees and Red Sox have taken over their stadium a bunch of times, and even the Nationals down the street have gathered en masse in their lovely ballpark.  They’ve been proclaimed to be Yankee Stadium South and Fenway South more times than they should’ve been. 

I’ve actually been there for a Nationals take over and a Yankee takeover.  One man I spoke with explained to me that it was cheaper to drive his family of four down to Baltimore from New York, the cost of tickets, food and lodging, than it would’ve been for decent seats at Yankee Stadium.  That fact, as well as getting taken over as repeatedly as they have been: fucking embarrassing.

But circling back to the Phillies, there was one year in particular that stands out, where Phillies fans absolutely took the fuck over at Nationals Park for the season opener.  I remember reading about it in the aftermath, how a really popular Philly sports website arranged the whole thing, and exploited a ticketing snafu that gave large groups priority when purchasing tickets, and the result was a Nationals home game that was easily 65%+ Phillies fans, where all the home players were booed out of the building, and Roy Halladay absolutely shut them down.

I knew several friends who were at the game, and unsurprisingly, it was one of the worst game experiences they’d ever had.  All the same, it was, fucking embarrassing.

And as far as I’m concerned, Philly kind of reinvented the idea of stadium takeovers.  After Occupy Nationals Park, it became almost like something that Philly sports fans would do anywhere else they could get away with it.  As mentioned, they weren’t shy about pulling the same act on the Orioles, but they’ve also attempted it on the Baltimore Ravens in the seasons in which the Eagles had them on the road.

The New York and Pittsburgh sport scenes are a little more prideful to allow such to happen, but as the pattern seems to be, just like everyone in Westeros, everyone marches south.

Which brings us back to the original topic, it’s sweet irony at its finest that not only did a Philadelphia sports team get invaded, the players definitely noticed, as Joel Embiid took the time to “I love them but” and basically throw them under the bus for not showing up to support the team, in the playoffs no less, and allowing for all the Knicks fans to take over their home court.

After the NLDS choke against the Phillies last year, I basically threw in the towel and resigned that Philly definitely is a sports town worthy of respect, for the innovative culture and brand they’ve built where players want to throw themselves into moving traffic for the fans, but then they have to and act like shitty fairweather fans who clearly have taken the 76ers for granted, the Process for granted and have collectively prioritized Eagles football and Phillies baseball over their basketball franchise.

And getting the stuffing beat out of them by the Knicks, of all the teams in the league.  The Knicks haven’t been relevant since Patrick Ewing was still on team, and I don’t say that just to be snarky, in the footage I’d seen of the takeover, the #1 jersey still seen being worn by most of these fans, is #33 Ewing.

The Knicks suck, but the Sixers and the city of Philadelphia are allowing them and their fans to have a genuine W, before they’ll inevitably choke and make this whole playoff run feel all for naught.

How fucking embarrassing.

Doesn’t pay to be white during #TRYHARDSZN2024

Roux: Utah senior has perfect ACT scores, can’t get into MIT or even Brigham Young

Not going to lie, sure it sucks for this teenager whose dreams appeared to be crushed that his 1A and 1B schools have both turned him down, but I found myself laughing a lot while reading this because of the seemingly very obvious answers to his rhetorical questions of whhhhyyyyy?

But why was Trenton Caldwell rejected by both MIT and BYU? But because both schools didn’t say, he may never know.“It’s pretty frustrating because I really feel like if I knew what it was, I would be able to fix it lickety-split, but it’s just impossible really because I have no idea,” said Trenton.

I mean come on.  I don’t even need to Google the name “Trenton Caldwell” to know this guy is whiter than a Paul Ryan intern. A name like that, living in Utah, having Brigham Young as one of your top college picks? 

This is an amusing example of the effects of a gradually awakening culture, where the pendulum may have swung back in the opposite direction a little on the hard side, and it’s kind of disadvantageous to be white and applying for colleges these days. 

In one side of the room, you’ve got black and Hispanic kids applying for 120 colleges presumably for free, getting into 63 of them, and then boasting on the news about how blessed they are, and on the other side of the room, you’ve got Ben Affleck and Ben Affleck putting their eggs into the 1-2 schools they really really really really hope they can get into as well as a safety school or two, and getting turned down without explanation which is one in itself if they took the time to look in the mirror and thought about what their elders did, it almost seems about as fucked up as racial exploitation.

But buddy, nobody owes you any explanation, and let this be a good lesson as well as a sample of what awaits in the adult world.  You can be the most qualified applicant for the job of your dreams, have the paperwork, proof, references and be ready to explain why you’re a perfect fit, but if the HR recruiter got cut off in traffic on the way to the office, or their pour over was short 0.027 ounces, and they’re in a pissy mood, they will delete your application without an explanation on every single day that ends in the letter Y.

Really though, it must suck for Ben Affleck over here.  The day he opened up his test results and found out that he notched a perfect score on his ACT, he probably thought that the world was his for the taking.  MIT would undoubtedly be impressed with his perfect score and undoubtedly accept him.  Boston, here I come.

But no, MIT sends him a form letter of rejection, wishing him well on his future endeavors and sorry it didn’t work out for us.  And then to rub salt into the wounds, BYU turns him down too, and neither give anything more than a form response to why he didn’t get in.

All this being said, by the time the dust settles from #TRYHARDSZN2024, Ben Affleck will probably already be on reddit, truth social, or whatever alt-right internet groups bemoaning how much it sucks to be white now, and being earmarked as a promising recruit for whatever future Charlottesville incidents will occur probably not too far from now.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Cornell or.. China?

Source: California teenager accepted into over 30 colleges; among them Cornell and Duke…Kunshan in China

I have to assume that after like the first 10 or so college applications, most of them are going to be for layup schools for a lot of these #TRYHARDs.  Of course they go after the Ivy Leagues, the Stanfords, MITs, Hopkins’ and a surprising favoritism to Georgia Tech, but the reality is that I’m guessing most high school upper classmen can probably only name like 5-6 off the tops of their heads that they actually imagined going to themselves.

So when they apply to well into the 50s and 60, at that point, they just applying to everything under the sun and copying and pasting their essays and utilizing auto-fill in their broswers when filling out college applications for the SUNY-B-tier, UNC-G-tier and Cal-D-tier schools, and doing it for the attention they can get by amassing a large number of college acceptances.

But for this California teenager, the fact that Cornell is the first school mentioned, means that Cornell is the top school that she was accepted into, which means that she probably has at least applied to several of the other Ivy Leagues, as well as many other top-tier institutions in the country.

The fact that the article doesn’t talk about aggregate scholarship dollars earned means that she clearly swung for the fences and got a lot of impressive yeses, and it turns out that she comes from a family of tryhards:

According to Tye, Madison had the academic inspiration she needed to pursue scholar status from her brother Chandler Brown, a Harvard graduate now pursuing his doctoral degree at Stanford University. Tye, Madison’s mother Yvonne Brown, and sister Brittany Brown also have higher education degrees from acclaimed four-year universities.

Her resume is pretty impressive, and it’s commendable that she’s coming out of the ashes out of some rural rando desert town in the San Bernadino valley area, and it’s clear that #TRYHARD as she may be, she’s definitely in the upper class that actually is trying to shoot for the moon and isn’t just doing it for attention and to phish out a free ride somewhere.

But the funny thing for me is the fact that her short list is Cornell and Duke Kunshan out in China. It’s not often, and in fact, it’s not something I’ve ever heard before of anyone in America ever aspiring to go to a university outside of America.  Much less to a place like China where the language barrier will be debilitating, not to mention China is super racist when it comes to black people.

The above photograph is from 2016; not 1976 or 1916, but literally within the last decade.  That’s from an in-flight magazine on Air China, for all passengers to read optionally, the advice they give about steering clear from Indians, Pakistanis and black people.

I’m not even black and could realistically hide in plain sight if I were to go to Shanghai, but nowhere in China is high on my list of places I want to go visit, much less gain an education from.

I know the temptation is high, to try and break the mold of molds, by being a black American to march into China and flip the narrative, but my god would that be walking into a lion’s den of putting your life into hell.

Girl, you got an acceptance into Cornell; you know a quarter of the population of Suzhou, China probably applied to get into Cornell since it’s an Ivy, don’t be the hipster who just has to try something different.  Save it for after you get your degree and have the flexibility to peace out of China at a moment’s notice when you go and realize that the place just isn’t as friendly to you as you might have thought it would’ve been.