Lately, I’ve felt like I’m in a bit of a rut.  I hate to say it, because of how cliche and just how maddeningly sad it sounds, but I think I’m depressed.  Nothing is really making me happy, and I’m not finding enjoyment in the things that normally do bring me enjoyment.  I’ve been lacking in motivation to do things, and even the routine things feel tedious, bothersome, and are things I don’t really want to do.  These are all tendencies that are associated with depression, so I’ve little reason to deny that I just might be depressed.

It’s not that things are absolutely terrible right now with my life or anything, but I just feel like my life isn’t really going anywhere right now.  My job is pretty much day in, day out, go to the gym, wash, rinse, dry, repeat.  I come home, and I don’t quite know what to do sometimes.  Baseball is always an option, but as has been my fluctuating level of enthusiasm over the last three years, it doesn’t always get the job done.  I’m happy that I have a dog again, but these emotions seem to go beyond the point where having a sleeping dog in my lap isn’t always comforting.  I’m on the cusp of dropping a pretty penny on an iPad to give myself an expensive toy to play around with, but I’m already expecting it to not really make me happy or anything.

All I do know is that something ain’t working in my life these days, and I don’t really know how to fix it.