Being both American-born as well as the gigantic hypocrite that I am, I believe I have the convenient luxury of cherry-picking when it’s convenient to associate Asian traits to myself, or when I curl my upper lip, take a step back, and say “whoa, I was born in the States.”

A little while back, I was way the hell up in Dawsonville at the outlet mall.  Normally, going to an outlet mall in December, much less all the way up in Dawsonville is about as good of an idea as running blindfolded with scissors, but I was doing my best impression of being gracious and accommodating.

Dawsonville, for lack of a better term, is country as fuck.  The population of the town is like 3,000 people, and it makes me believe that outlet malls are stuck in desolate country towns like Dawsonville, just so that it can stimulate the economies of both the town and the surrounding area.  The most notable people to have ever come from Dawsonville are some former NASCAR driver “Awesome Bill From Dawsonville” Wallace, and apparently former pro-wrestler, Bill Goldberg lived there for a spell.

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