TL;DR: The Atlanta Braves seek $20 million dollar grant from Florida to build their future Spring Training facility out in Sarasota

Whaaaat?  The Braves want someone else to shoulder the financial load for something that they want?  Never heard of such lunacy in my entire life.

A long time ago, I was in Las Vegas with a large group of friends.  Like most large groups of friends tend to do in Las Vegas, we ended up going to a strip club.  The Girls of Glitter Gulch, specifically. (RIP)  At the GGG, there was this one stripper that periodically showed up to our table, and with the vitriol that only a mad black woman can conjure up, looked at one person at the table each time and demanded, “WHERE U BEEN?  GIMME A DOLLAR!” and like five times out of five times she pulled the stunt, whomever she targeted would promptly fork over a dollar, and then she’d vanish before doing the whole thing again later.

That’s kind of what the Braves are, as it pertains to this situation in Sarasota.  Naturally, they whispered sweet nothings into Sarasota’s ear to get them all wet and excited about the prospect of housing a Spring Training facility, but when it came time to settle the check, the Braves went all Extreme Cheapskates on the city, and at first, agreed to pay for their share of the tab, but as the months went on, the willingness to contribute their share diminished, and the Braves began turning every single stone and rock over, looking for ways to minimize how much they had to contribute, and how much the city of Sarasota or the state of Florida would pay instead.

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