It’s Valentine’s weekend, and as anyone who knows, I’ve been single for the better part of the last four years. I’ve been on fewer dates than I have fingers in that time, but for the most part, I’ve been fairly indifferent to the concept of romance in my life.
Sure, I get ronery every now and then, but the feeling usually is gone by the next day, or when the next shiny distraction takes my mind off the feelings. But the fact of the matter is that no matter how chauvinistic, tough, or invincible I may act from time to time, there’s still a great big softy behind the asshole-ish exterior I stand behind a lot of the time.
So in the loose spirit of a commercialized occasion, I’ll share a little bit of softy stuff, just to prove that I’m capable of acting human from time to time.
The girl in this picture is a girl that I once had a crush on back a few years ago. One day I was driving somewhere, and I passed by a store that had the same name as this girl, which led me to remembering this cute girl who was on the opposing team of my old ScumTrust softball team.
She was pitching for her team, and the first time I came up to bat against her, I hit the ball right at her, for a really, really fast out. I kind of winced at the action, but the next three times I came up, I got clean base hits, and I was afraid that I was going to do something lame and cliche, so I ended up not even looking at her while playing.
Reminiscing here, I was afraid to speak to her back then, and I probably wouldn’t necessary have the courage to speak to her today, but the bottom line was that I couldn’t keep my eyes off this girl, and the few times when I arrived at the park early, I would watch her play against some of the other teams in the league. She was, well, hot, athletic, and clearly appreciated the game of baseball to be playing slow-pitch. To boot, it turns out that the team she was on was also a company team, and the kicker was the fact that it was another design agency.
I guess I felt that I wasn’t quite in her league, which is kind of silly, because I read enough and know enough about the popular notion that “confidence is sexy,” but I can’t quite seem to find the cojones to apply such to myself.
So one day, I was bored, and it got to a point where I was googling random things, and it was at this time that I remembered the girl. She had a very unique name, so it was pretty easy to google her – yes, I was doing some cyber-stalking here. It was at this time that I stumbled upon the following picture, which was apparently from her Facebook page, to which it was within about 2-3 weeks of her recent marriage.
Now here’s where I turned the “dick” switch to the on position. Looking at her now, husband, I’m thinking, well, doesn’t look like much of a catch. Yes, I’m a superficial fuck who bases such judgment on visuals alone, and I’m sure that there’s some redeeming quality(ies) to this guy that won this girl over, but most importantly, he probably had the courage to speak to this girl when he first saw her.
The bottom line is that I look at this picture, and it simply, gives me hope. Hope that if guys like this can snag girls like that, as long as they have the courage to put themselves out there, then my future doesn’t look so dismal after all. Now how it stacks in comparison to becoming a eunuch, perfecting kung-fu, and subsequently taking over the world is yet to be determined, but hey, men do irrational things for love.
