For whatever reason it may be, although I am not quite sure how, considering I’ve never purchased anything from them online before, but I received in the mail the October edition of the Urban Outfitters catalog. While making my coffee, I decided to peruse through it, to help pass the 180 seconds or so it takes for me to heat up dark colored caffeinated water. And by the time I was done skimming through it, all I could really think about was how that if this was the direction that the world was going, that I should probably just kill myself. Take the pot off the gas stove, and light myself on fire, and go into the backyard and die on the concrete slab so that the rest of the house isn’t a site of death for Jen.
Seriously though, the UO catalog was possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I understand that UO is kind of the anti-culture to the Abercrombie & Fitches and American Eagles, but to go completely, 100% on the opposite spectrum isn’t exactly the best idea. Emaciated, miserable looking teenagers wearing awful-looking hipster douche wear, in what looks precariously like Borat’s rendition of Kazakhstan doesn’t exactly make me want to run out to UO and buy up their crappy ware. And it’s not just the “men’s” clothing I’m being critical about; I do like to look through the catalog as a whole, in case there’s a hot girl to lust over, but in this case, it’s an anorexic blond ugly chick, and a brainwashed looking Korean girl “modeling” all of the womens’ line as well. The goal of a catalog is the same goal as all marketing – to capture the eyes and try to get stuck in the heads of those looking. UO fails harder the Birds of Prey show on the WB.
Ironically, the one place that UO doesn’t deviate from its competitors is in the egregious pricing of their crap. The funny thing is that no matter how emo-douche and alternative some guys think they are, they’re still led by their third leg, just like all other men; based on options from catalogs solely, if a man had $88 to drop on a basic for a woman, they’re probably going to pick the thing that’s a little snug in the chesticles from American Eagle as opposed to the ironically ugly piece of burlap from UO that would make them look like a squash.
And to think I had nothing really substantial to write about these days.
