Long story short: girl has argument with live-in boyfriend, girl calls ex-husband for consoling. Ex-husband arrives to house, confrontation with boyfriend erupts. Boyfriend happens to be a Link-cosplaying nerd, runs to Lost Woods bedroom to grab Master Sword replica to defend himself with. Husband is stabbed and slashed a few times by very real-bladed sword, but gets in some offense himself by breaking a pot over boyfriend’s head, before authorities arrive.
Imagine the arrogant, shit-eating grin on my face while I was reading this. Some days it’s really difficult for me to find something to write about, but occasionally there’s a story like this that just makes writing so fun.
I mean seriously, there’s really not a whole lot I can add to the linked story, other than being the arrogant, third-party bystander who inserts his own judgment and opinion, but mostly judgment. And the GIF that I made, I’m real amused by that, and want everyone to see it.
Nothing seems to indicate the legal outcome of the brawl, but really does it even matter? By association, it’s a safe bet that the girlfriend and her ex-husband are also gigantic dorks, if Link himself is a IT nerd in the day (presumed, but look at him in the video, what else could he possibly do for a living?) but a cosplay superstar during convention weekends with his very-real Master Sword replica. The magnitude of such sissy-fighting between the two dudes had to have been incredible, and I would have paid money to have been able to see it as it transpired.
Obviously, not lost is the fact that I’m also a huge nerd who isn’t a stranger to dressing up and dabbles with occasional prop making. However, nothing I’ve ever made or own as a replica wouldn’t be capable of any efficient offensive abilities other than a one-time blunt force attempt before shattering into a hundred pieces.
The only thing that would have made this entire altercation better is if Link tried to throw a boomerang at the charging ex-husband, with hopes that it would stun him for a few seconds to where he could gain the upper hand.
Regardless, ex-husband should be lucky that Link didn’t whip out the bombs, because if they were anything like his Master Sword, they would probably have been functional, and all three of them would’ve been fucked.
Alright, I’m done amusing myself with the Zelda analogies. Hahahahaha.
