Ultimately, if it were up to me, I would have liked to have seen Oregon win the National Championship, because when the day is over, it’s always fun to see Ohio State get shit on. But when the mighty Oregon offense simply could not accomplish anything against Ohio State’s defense, even after halftime, the writing was on the wall and I frankly didn’t even have to stay up until the finish to know that the Ducks were toast.
As a consolation prize though, however, I can apply the aforementioned wrestling logic that Virginia Tech are the uncrowned National Champions, by virtue of being the one team that actually beat Ohio State throughout the entire season.
This is where Rick Rude with Frank Beamer emerges from the curtain to shit on the championship parade being held by the Ultimate Warrior after beating Hulk Hogan to remind the Warrior that he still has his own championship victory over him, and that BCS Redemption sponsored by Snickers, the National Championship should be on the line against the Hokies.
Alas, the world is a stupid place with procedures and protocols, much less the BCS being one with a large committees of stuffy old-thinking men who scoff at the notion of change and outside-the-box creative thinking, even if it meant that basically free money could be printed from them, since the United States is a foosball-loving country that loves to dump money into the machine.
But if it weren’t, I for one would love the notion of a floating championship, even if it isn’t necessarily the National Championship, that, much like an arbitrary wrestling championship, is defended on a regular basis, trades hands immediately upon defeat, and more or less always gives the bearer some degree of attention and spotlight, regardless of what their win-loss records may say.
For the rest of this post, I’m going to refer to this theoretical title as the Floating Foosball Title (FFT*).
*coincidentally sharing the acronym of the greatest video game ever, Final Fantasy Tactics.
So the FFT is basically a tangible reward for upsets, as well as a means for a particular division or conference to really flex their muscle. It will be expected to change hands regularly, and any lengthy reigns will be revered as historic and as a sign of dominance.
In a way, it’s kind of like an old NWA championship, which is technically part of the organization as a whole, but is liable to get exiled in a particular territory, much like the FFT would likely get exiled in a particular conference, until an inter-conference matchup occurs next.
Explanation through example: Ohio State has the FFT, but immediately loses it to Virginia Tech in their much anticipated rematch. At the start of the 2015 season, Virginia Tech being Virginia Tech, loses it to East Carolina. The FFT now floats around the mediocre American Athletic Conference, bouncing between teams like Tulane and UCF. But then UCF plays against Central Michigan, loses, and the FFT is now exiled in the Mid-American Conference, until Central Michigan loses it to Michigan, who is naturally in the process of padding their schedule against scrubs. But then Michigan is humiliated by Appalachian State (again), and the FFT ends up in yet another obscure conference, the Sun Belt.
Appalachian State then loses the FFT to Tennessee, and then the worst thing on the planet happens, the FFT becomes property to an SEC school, and then it’s only a matter of time before they lose it to South Carolina, and then South Carolina loses it to Florida, and then Florida loses it to Alabama, and then Alabama doesn’t lose it again until the Rose Bowl.
But so the FFT doesn’t stay exiled in one place too long, I would also propose that the bearer of the FFT is automatically bowl eligible at the end of the regular season, regardless of their win-loss record, so that in the event that like a scrub upsets the then-FFT bearer, they would suddenly be metaphorically at the right place at the right time, and gain entry to like the Duck Commander Independence Bowl or some other Toilet Bowl, but subsequently gain a little bit of spotlight, and whatever financial benefit comes by gaining entry to a bowl game.** Naturally, if they’re a scrub that got lucky, they’ll immediately drop the FFT on national television, or lightning strikes twice, and they successfully defend it, and hold the FFT until the following season picks up again.
**Yes, this bones some .500 team, but it’s not like the bowl selection process isn’t already without a million flaws already, what would one more hurt?
Additionally, in the event that the FFT holder is a legit contender, and ends up winning the National Championship, they are immediately stripped of the FFT, and it is given to the runner up. Sure, it sounds lame to strip a champion of a title, much less give it to a team that just lost, but National Champions have the prestige of being the reigning National Champions for the subsequent year to fall on, and frankly a runner-up is liable to take a hit in talent, when the spoiled primadonnas don’t want to deal with the reality of having lost a major game, so they jump into the NFL draft, so it’s not like the FFT would necessarily be stuck in a power conference for that much longer.
Sure, this far-fetched idea is full of holes and reasons why things could go wrong, but what’s the harm in trying something different, and having a means for upsets to become way more meaningful? Imagine if a 2-8 Ball State just happens to have a good day against the FFT holding Ole’ Miss who’s already looking ahead at the likely matchup against Mississippi State, steals the FFT, and then is suddenly thrust into a bowl game, where they have to play against like Louisville? Now that would be some interesting stuff.
As much criticism as professional wrestling gets, sometimes you have to wonder if some of its competitive logic, just might make things more interesting in other applications.
