I should be in a pretty good mood right now. I’m not saying that I’m in a foul mood by any stretch of the imagination, it’s just the fact that instead of being happy and in a pleasant mood, I feel kind of in the middle somewhere lately. In fact, earlier this week, I had some pretty great news that broke, that I will eventually start sharing with my six readers and maybe over social media if I feel like it. Unfortunately, earlier this week there was also some terribly bad news, that anyone willing to scroll back a few posts would realize, and it certainly has held a lot of weight to why I feel like how I do lately. If anything at all, it’s the conflicting ends of the spectrums on the two events that have me somewhere in the middle, albeit leaning towards the wrong direction, that is preventing me from feeling absolutely depressed and somber.
The thing is, even without the tragic news from earlier this week, I think I’d still be emotionally weighed down, because aside from the super bad news from earlier this week, there are still things going on with various other people close to me and out there, that I’m aware of, and are aware that they’re bringing them down. This makes me feel less happy, because I know there are people I care about feeling down.
Such is the nature of those with empathy, but I’m beginning to think that I might just be overly empathetic, if such is even possible.
I like to think I’m smart enough to acknowledge that the things that are making me feel brought down are all things that are almost entirely, out of my control, due to the fact that ultimately I cannot change history, materialize money, cure cancer or strike problems off the metaphorical record of the world. Yet the one piece of great news that I have was almost entirely something that I could control, and I did control it, and found success that I am most certainly happy, excited and feeling triumphant about.
However because I’m clearly such an empathetic person, even the biggest victories become hollow and less warranting of celebration, because of the troubles of those I care about. I don’t know if this a trait that would warrant criticism, or borderline be considered negative about me, because I’ve always thought empathy and compassion were positive human traits to have.
But it just kind of sucks, because I really am happy about my good news, but it’s really bothering me that a whole lot of bad things, events, feelings and occurrences are swirling around those I care about. And I think it’s hindering my ability to enjoy what I do have, and then I feel a little bit worse that I can’t. I’m fully aware that much of my woes which might be other peoples’ woes are out of my control, but it’s not so easy as flipping a switch and being absolved of empathy.
I know I’m an empathetic person. I guess the question is, am I overly empathetic? Is that even possible?
