Morning #1 back from Korea; I’ve taken the rest of the week off to help me get over jet lag, and the fact that on top of Europe, on top of Korea, there’s one last weekend trip to Florida for the Disney trip that has happened every single year for the last few, for the Food and Wine Festival.
I stayed up for nearly 30 hours with hopes of counteracting the going-back-in-time nature of going East to West, and that when I did sleep, it would be a nice snooze-fest culminating with me waking up feeling refreshed and closer to beating the jetlag than succumbing to it. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night once, managed to fall back asleep, until the landscapers at mythical gf’s complex decided to roll in at like 7:00 am and get to work, waking me up feeling groggy and a little cranky, although I am relieved to be back in Georgia after such a long trip still.
So, with a little bit of breakfast and my first good cup of coffee in a long while, I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to do next with myself. Do I try to write about Korea? Do I edit photos? Which ones? Europe, or Korea? I can’t edit photos on this raptop; I don’t have my old baller work raptop to do that on anymore, so I can only edit on my PC at home. But I’ve also got nearly 2,000 photos over two trips, and I haven’t touched a single one. What about the list of thoughts and observations that served as the mental list of things to write about once I got back? God damn the list is really fucking long. Do I write about Worlds? Virginia Tech’s annual delving into the National rankings before they fall out again? The Cubs taking out the Giants? The obvious ambiguity of the Miami coroner not revealing Jose Fernandez’s toxicology reports?
Here’s the thing though: not a single one of these things that I feel like I need to do, are things that I’m required to do. Nobody reads my brog; it’s down, still, and I’m beyond my wits end with that fact. I can’t even read my own brog. So why do I feel like I should spend so much of my time brogging? I mean, that’s what I do, I write in my spare time because that’s what I’ve always done, and although I might not appreciate it at the current, I know I’d appreciate it all later, because I’ve been chronicling my life and thoughts for the better part of the last 17 years or so.
Nobody really cares about my pictures. Hell, I don’t even care about a lot of my pictures after the fact. So many of them are scenic images or selfies, and throughout my trip to Korea, I’d often been thinking about the meaning of taking pictures in the first place. As mentioned before, I’ve got nearly 2,000 pictures between Europe and Korea that I haven’t touched, and they’re all RAW files too, which means each and every one of them might require a modicum of effort and time to get to a state of presentation that I deem adequate. But 2,000 of them? That’s a fucking Everest, especially in the time in my life that I don’t seem to ever have.
But when the day is over, I don’t have to do either, if I really truly didn’t want to. Whether I write or share my pictures isn’t going to impact or change the lives of anyone else out there. However, I still feel like these are things that I need to do, because if I don’t do them, they’ll become this backlog that becomes more and more daunting with each task I let side idle and form a queue with.
This, is the plight of a brogger like myself, forming queues of self-imposed inconsequential work onto one’s self, that serves no reward or merit for doing, other than self-satisfaction.
So what do I do? Write about writing and picture taking, instead of actually starting any of the things that I’ve mentally queued up for myself. I’m jet-lagged, god damn it.
