Tag: football

When losing becomes too much to handle

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So passively-aggressively hilarious: retired WR Calvin Johnson throws heaps of shade about the endless losing culture of the Detroit Lions and how it basically drove him into retirement

Not going to lie: this is legit one of the saddest yet funniest sports articles in a long time.  Calvin Johnson basically throwing the Detroit Lions organization under the bus for well, being the Detroit Lions; a team that never won, existed primarily in the losers’ circle, how he just couldn’t take being contractually glued to them throughout his entire career, and how retirement and the ceasing of millions of dollars in paychecks seemed like the superior alternative.

I’ll come clean, I actually like Calvin Johnson.  Despite the fact that he mauled Virginia Tech and the rest of the ACC while he was playing for Georgia Tech, there was always something entertaining and fascinating about watching such a physically gifted player do his thing.  It was a no-brainer that he was going to go pro, and was only a question of just how high in the draft he would be selected.

But being a shoe-in pro always has the peril of getting drafted by one of the teams, locked in eternity to the ball-and-chain of loser, like the Raiders, Texans, Bills, Browns, or in the case of Calvin Johnson, the Detroit Lions.

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When inspiration hits like a baseball to the nuts

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

No, seriously: Tim Tebow accidentally hits a fan in the balls with an errant throw that only Tim Tebow could be capable of making

All through the day, I couldn’t really find anything I wanted to write about.  Perusing through usual local and national outlets, looking for anything that seemed interesting to write about, scanning through sports sites and pop-culture sites to see if anything sparked any inspiration, no dice.  As much as I hate to do so, it looked like it would be a day in which I wouldn’t have something to write about, as the goings in my life aren’t particularly fascinating currently and there’s little there to write about either.

And then a story about Tim Tebow accidentally nailing a guy in the nuts with a bad throw shows up, I make the not bad face and now I’ve got something to write about.  The internet giveth.

Honestly, the story itself is nothing home to write about, despite the layers of irony there is about Tim Tebow making a bad throw, despite it being in baseball and not football.  To nobody’s surprise, Tebow personally dissuaded the situation, by checking in on the guy whose nuts he rang, signed some stuff, probably said some prayers and bowed their heads, and everyone went home all smiles and happy.  Story over.  But that’s what Tim Tebow does with people, personally, engages them, is friendly to them, and everyone walks away better for the encounter.

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This is probably going to be a thing

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Do you know what professional athletes like aside from money?  Attention.

Sure, there’s a correlation between attention and earning money, but when the day is over, professional athletes still love to gain attention, whether it is good or bad.  It’s why you hear of former pros doing random things when their playing careers are over, presumably just to see their names get published somewhere for some reason.

One of the easiest ways to gain attention for professional athletes is to do things that other professional athletes don’t do.  And when professional athletes left and right are flaunting their wealth, and boasting their ridiculous homes, expensive accessories and overpriced cars, it’s easy to get noticed when you go against such a common grain.

So when top QB draft pick Mitchell Trubisky, rolled into the Chicago Bears minicamp in an old 1997 Toyota Camry, people did notice.  That tends to happen when a guy makes it into the NFL and is expected to immediately cash in their signing bonuses and get themselves a six-figure vehicle, because let’s be real here, like 99%* of top-10 draft picks tend to do that.

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How to invalidate Ohio State’s educational credibility

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The moment I saw that Cardale Jones graduated from Ohio State, I didn’t even have to look it up to assume that his degree was in African-American studies.  And then because I like to be proven correct, I looked it up, and sure enough, Cardale Jones’ major was African-American studies.

For those who do not really follow sports, Cardale Jones was a former athletic ringer at Ohio State who was brought in solely to play football, and made an imbecile of himself on social media when he said:

Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain’t come to play SCHOOL, classes are POINTLESS

Basically admitting that he was no scholar and was an athletic ringer that only served to feed the NCAA machine and make money for others for the opportunity to audition for the chance to make millions for himself.

The point is, Cardale Jones was surprisingly no genius, and it was even less of a surprise when he dipped out of school early to go into the NFL, where he’s basically a third-string quarterback for the Buffalo Bills. 

Let me repeat, third string quarterback for the Buffalo Bills.

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Good guy Aaron Hernandez?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Feeding into the whole notion that NFL Network Ocho AKA ESPN only cares about the NFL above all else, I was peeved when a good weekend of baseball, and hell even basketball was derailed by the frantic news of known asshole and murderer, Aaron Hernandez’s death.

Now I’m not going to pretend like I’ve bothered to go in-depth into all the details, because when the day is over, I couldn’t possibly give two shits about Aaron Hernandez, and at a first blush situation, I think it’s better that he’s dead, because he’s one less deadbeat that the country and its tax payers have to worry about sustaining inside of a prison, where he serves absolutely no purpose or benefit to the rest of the world.

My first thoughts were that since the death happened pretty quickly after he was somehow acquitted of the double-homicide charge that he was partially in prison for in the first place, I figured some prison guards or rogue law enforcement basically beat the guy to death, made it look like a suicide and called it a day, to prevent the guy from actually getting out of incarceration.

But this is a case where not knowing all the facts makes me look foolish, because although he was acquitted of the double-homicide, he was still going to be serving the rest of his life sentence for the supposed single-homicide that he was also accused of.

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Greetings from Chokelanta, Georgia

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Where choking isn’t just commonplace, it’s a way of life.

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach when the Falcons failed to even secure a field goal, after a game-defining Julio Jones catch followed immediately by some negative plays, taking them out of field goal range and resulting in a punt.

The sinking feeling sunk even more when Julian Edleman made the catch of the game, where he managed to secure the ball amidst a deflection off of a hand and a leg while surrounded by and getting pelted by three Atlanta players while simultaneously managing to keep the ball from hitting the ground.

The feeling completely sunk when the Patriots scored the game-tying touchdown and subsequent two-point conversion.

And I threw the in the towel as soon as the coin flip landed heads and the Patriots would start the first overtime in Superb Owl history with possession of the ball.

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Respect is earned or the beatings continue

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I told myself that I wouldn’t write anything about Superb Owl Lee until it was over, because I am the controller of the entire universe and the words I choose to put onto a brog post will guarantee control the entire outcome of the game.  But I’m in a little bit of a rut lately, and there are few things that help get me out of a rut than writing about sports.  Not to mention that every now and then, I’ll come across something that I guess the correct response would be that it triggers something of an emotional synapse where I feel that words typed out is the appropriate reaction.

But every now and then whenever the Atlanta Falcons, or any Atlanta-based sports team, but mostly the Falcons, find a modicum of success, they inevitably become motivation for some bigwig sports writer to take a cheap shot at not just the team, but inevitably the city itself, along with all of its denizens.  That Atlanta teams are all pretenders, have yet to win anything (except them ’95 Braves!), and then that the fans are all fair-weathered bandwagon riders that only cheer for winners when they’re not going bonkers over college football.  That Atlanta is the worse sports town in America.  That Atlanta is pretty much the new Cleveland when it comes to sports championship droughts.

None of these allegations are incorrect, but they’re revisited and flung around so many times that they’re completely unoriginal and stated so many times that the only appropriate response is usually “you’re right, what’s your point” with an annoyed eye roll.

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