So passively-aggressively hilarious: retired WR Calvin Johnson throws heaps of shade about the endless losing culture of the Detroit Lions and how it basically drove him into retirement
Not going to lie: this is legit one of the saddest yet funniest sports articles in a long time. Calvin Johnson basically throwing the Detroit Lions organization under the bus for well, being the Detroit Lions; a team that never won, existed primarily in the losers’ circle, how he just couldn’t take being contractually glued to them throughout his entire career, and how retirement and the ceasing of millions of dollars in paychecks seemed like the superior alternative.
I’ll come clean, I actually like Calvin Johnson. Despite the fact that he mauled Virginia Tech and the rest of the ACC while he was playing for Georgia Tech, there was always something entertaining and fascinating about watching such a physically gifted player do his thing. It was a no-brainer that he was going to go pro, and was only a question of just how high in the draft he would be selected.
But being a shoe-in pro always has the peril of getting drafted by one of the teams, locked in eternity to the ball-and-chain of loser, like the Raiders, Texans, Bills, Browns, or in the case of Calvin Johnson, the Detroit Lions.
Seriously, the Lions have never been good, in my entire life. And I’m far removed from being 14 and saying “my entire life” would be a blip on the radar; I’ve watched enough sports in my life to know for a fact that the Detroit Lions have been a crap team for over 30 years. A cursory glance reveals that the last time they won the Super Bowl was 1957, and in the span of my entire life, they’ve managed to win 10+ games just five times.
It’s funny, I was just about to make a statement about how the Lions couldn’t do anything with the greatest rusher of all time in Barry Sanders, but then I realized the stark similarities to the abrupt retirement of Sanders to the way Calvin Johnson just up and retired out of nowhere after eating 90 losses with the Lions. It’s clear that neither could take the burden of being on the Lions any longer, regardless of how much money or championship aspirations they left on the table, and they both left at age 30, after not even ten years in the league.
Make no mistake, Calvin Johnson could have been the greatest receiver of all time. He certainly was on pace to surpass Jerry Rice in receptions and receiving yards, and comparing their first eight seasons, Johnson was the superior wideout, even with a less-talented quarterback at the helm.
But this is the difference that winning makes, as winning three Super Bowls sure makes it easier to want to keep doing your job when the pinnacle of success has always been attainable. Rice sacked away 20 years of service time before mostly walking away on his own terms, although I’ll always criticize his time in Oakland and the cameo in Seattle. But the fact was that he stuck it out for 20 years, probably primarily because of the fact that he didn’t play for the Detroit Lions.
Poor Calvin (which is ironically the name of an Atlanta eatery) was selected by the Lions and foolishly handcuffed his financial freedom as well as his fate to pretty much the worst franchise in history, and after eight seasons, 90 losses, and losses the caliber of Aaron Rodgers hail marys leading to ironic hilarity like the leading gif, Johnson clearly just had enough.
Sick of losing, even if it meant leaving tons of money on the table. And at 30 years old, Johnson was no spring chicken, but he was far from out of his prime. And the best part about this whole article was all the bitterness of defeat that’s still lingering in his mouth, with golden statements such as:
“I didn’t see a chance for them to win a Super Bowl at the time,” Johnson said. “For the work I was putting in, it wasn’t worth my time, to keep on beating my head up against the wall, and not go anywhere.
“It’s the definition of insanity.”
Self-reflection and career evaluations like:
“If I was to keep playing, I would have played in Detroit. It just wasn’t for me anymore.”
And nihilistic predictions about the franchise such as:
Asked if he thought the Lions would ever make the Super Bowl. He paused an extra beat, bringing a moment of levity.
“At some point, they gotta make it,” Johnson said. “I don’t know when, but they gotta make it.”
These are all really sad things in a way to hear, but at the same time, he’s not wrong at all. Not even getting paid millions of dollars to play a kids game makes it worth taking all the losses and feel the endless defeat of playing for the Detroit Lions, and at some point, everyone snaps.
I always applaud pro-athletes for retiring early, usually because they value their physical well-being into their golden years, and they’ve probably been smart enough with their money to not have to cling to the leagues that are leaving them behind. In the case of Johnson, whom I’ve always thought was a pretty sharp guy, not only is he salvaging his body, and probably enjoying life on a level so few people will ever get to experience, he’s also getting a third victory in retirement that probably only Barry Sanders can relate to: getting the fuck out of Detroit and all the defeat that came with the association.
It’s probably not saying much considering the Lions, but that’s probably the greatest victory of his career.
