Tag: basketball

Why can’t NBA players make free throws?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I watched an NBA game while I was eating lunch the other day, because for whatever reason, Moloch Day seemed like an appropriate time to have afternoon specials of NBA basketball. Either way, it was the fourth quarter of a fairly close game between the Pacers and the Grizzlies, where anywhere every single field goal seemed essential. That being said, there was about a four minute stretch where neither team scored.

It had nothing to do with guys getting any bad luck with open shots, or layups rimming out unluckily, it was just a bunch of overpaid primadonnas throwing up brick after brick, with teammates open, while being defended, or opting for ill-advised fadeaways. But the best part about this four minute stretch was that during this time, five free throws were attempted between the two team with the Pacers shooting two, and the Grizzlies shooting two, and one technical shot being taken by the Pacers. All five of the free throws were misses, including the completely uncontested technical.

This seemingly endless slope of degrading free throw shooting throughout the course of the NBA never fails to baffle me how something so easy is so difficult to do, for the supposed greatest basketball players on the planet. I mean, free throws are completely uncontested shots; no defender trying to bump you, reaching up to block the ball, or even put a hand in your face. It’s just the player, 15 feet away from the hoop, with ten seconds to concentrate and shoot a completely unopposed shot; the fact that it’s called a free throw indicates to just how easy it really should be.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #003

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’ll be honest; the message in this commercial is a good one, and I will agree that the world could use some more positive messages. But the scenario used in the commercial couldn’t be any more further from any fathomable truth that could potentially happen in this little place we all live in, called the real fucking world. And for that reason, this commercial definitely warrants the designation as certainly being a stupid commercial.

It’s the championship game, and tensions are high. The protagonist, Alex’s team is down in the waning seconds, but a late score closes the gap to one. On the ensuing play, Alex’s team employs the full court press, and they successfully harass an opposing player into flinging a haphazard pass, which is supposedly touched by the guy that Alex was guarding. The referee awards the ball to Alex’s team, and his teammates and the crowd are going nuts because now they have a chance to win the game. Alex’s team calls timeout, so they can put together a play to try and win the game. And this is where the unbelievable fiction comes into play.

Alex becomes overwhelmed by his conscience, and he admits to having being the one who correctly tipped the ball out of bounds, and that the ref had made a mistake, clearly. As he fesses up to his teammates, his teammates give him the WTF treatment, and essentially tell him to shut the fuck up. The coach caves into Alex’s moral dilemma, and tells his team to prepare to play defense, and for Alex to go correct the ref. As the team disperses, the teammates all incredulously mock thank Alex for throwing the game, making Alex rightfully feel like a shithead. The coach, repressing his own feelings off being a dickface, shows pity on Alex and tells him that he did the right thing, making Alex feeling all warm and fuzzy, but still a shithead.

“Sportsmanship”. Yeah, my ass.

Here’s what would happen in the real world.

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Best dream ever

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Huzzard and I are at an arcade, playing on a broken NBA Jam machine.  Along comes former NBA player/great white hope Bryant Reeves and some unknown person, and they challenge Huzzard and I to a game.  We choose the Spurs and he chooses the Knicks, and in no time, we’re dominating the shit out of him like 41-11.  The game freezes on us, and before we can get bewildered and upset, these two kids show up, wanting to get Bryant Reeves’ autographs.  One of them was fat and one of them was small.  The fat one was the alpha amongst them.

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The NBA Slam Dunk contest is stupid

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

For obvious reasons, one or two of the televisions in the locker room at my gym is always on the NBA Network.  This week, they’ve been systematically broadcasting apparently every single year of the NBA’s dunk contest.  Recently, I got to thinking about just how stupid the dunk contest really is.

As much as I understand the appeal and occasional functionality of dunking, I can’t help but thinking that a contest of dunking without defenders, a clock or any resistance is pretty much the dumbest thing in the world.  And it gets worse with every single year, with players looking to add gimmicks, costumes and props to their foolish exhibitions in order to impress designated judges who assign scores based on, lord knows what.

And with each passing year, much as there are more crowd shots of other players and devastated fans, out of their seats, OHHHHing and making guttural sounds of approval at what they witnessed, there have been more and more people in the locker room glued to the televisions, making much of the same reactions.  And for what?  Guys that are taking a basketball, and doing whatever they can possible in the fractions of a second before they attempt to force it into an uncontested hoop.

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The irony is that he’s not even retired yet

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Nor has there been any mention yet of his retirement, or shown any legitimate signs that retirement is really imminent, either. Ironically, you’d think I write something about Chipper Jones, my favorite player on my favorite team, in my favorite sport, who actually has declared that 2012 is his last year and that he’s retiring when it’s over, over writing about Tim Duncan. The world works in strange ways sometimes.

But this Deadspin story about how Tim Duncan sat out of a game due to “being old,” makes me realize that the end has to be near for Tim Duncan, who is without question, one of the greatest basketball players in NBA history, and one of the few that I actually still like. Maybe one reason why I actually feel inspired and melancholy about the notion of Tim Duncan retiring is because unlike Chipper Jones, I’ve actually been witness to pretty much his entire career.

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A little bit of live brogging

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I know the game is over.  Once Mason Plumlee makes the highlight reel with any sort of flashy dunk that happens for no other reason than the opposition being so flustered by defending the three, that they leave his lily-white ass open to do as many impressions of Dominique Wilkins as he wants.  Seriously, is there anyone in organized basketball that’s more goofy and oaf-like than Mason Plumlee?

As I type, Tech’s got 38 points, and I’m pretty sure that 36 of those points are either from three-pointers of free throws.  I’m not entirely sure why I’m still watching this game other than the fact that my other television is occupado with some Mass Effect action going on, but it is certainly brutal.

This game has been a big of a prick tease as they come; Duke’s missing most of their threes, but the problem is that Tech can’t make a bucket in the paint to save their life.  Tech is owning the boards and making their free throws, but someone forgot to let them know that they still need to occasionally make some actual field goals to put those requisite points on the scoreboard.  The game has been completely winnable for the Hokies, but so far they’re the only ones beating them, because it’s certainly not Duke.

Suck it, Climpson

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Sure, they’re probably going to obliterated by Duke tomorrow, with insulting sights of Mason Plumlee and Ryan Kelly dunking all over the place when Doc Rivers’ kid isn’t going apeshit from beyond the arc.

But if for one night only, it’s great to see Virginia Tech not pull a vanishing act in a postseason game, and actually look like a good athletic program.  Sure, they still did their typical bonehead shit like five-second violations and was easily confused by a full-court press resulting in an egregious use of timeouts, but when it came to the important stuff like making their free throws, they sank them confidently and kept the pressure on Clemson to try and respond and it certainly didn’t help that suddenly they’re the team that can’t make a free throw to save their life.

It was refreshing to have watched, and it puts me in a jovial mood.  I can wear my Tech shit to work tomorrow proudly, because tonight, we’re the winners.